


Any Means Necessary

by Pinklove21



Series: Any Means Necessary Series [1]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Non Consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-05
Updated: 2013-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 104,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinklove21/pseuds/Pinklove21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haymitch brought home a Victor in the 73rd Hunger Games. This is a story of that person's first year mentoring, and their tribute is coming home. There is no other option.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wish Carefully

I'm breathing in gasps, attempting to ignore the large bloody gash in my shoulder that is bleeding profusely. I have to end this before I pass out from the lack of blood. End this so I can go home alive, not in a simple wooden coffin. Get back to my family and friends. I've come too far to give up now, too far to just die. To have them have to watch me die. And the only thing in my way is the ferocious blonde District 2 girl, who acts like she's been waiting for this moment her whole life. Like she's enjoying herself in this bloody battle to the death. Something tells me she is- this is what Careers are trained for, it's more of a game to them than a death sentence like most of the country sees it as. After all, she freaking volunteered for this.

Like me, she ignores the few wounds I've managed to give her, and unfortunately none of them are fatal. None of them are quite as bad as the ax that ripped apart my shoulder and resulted in a huge wound, which is making it difficult just to keep focused let alone fight her. We both have our weapons in hand, staring each other down as we do a dance of sorts around each other, sizing each other up before the inevitable attack, the death blow to end it all. And she knows as well as I do that I'm losing.

Just a little more and she will be right where I want her. Just a few more steps to the right and she's done for. I subtly move our dance in that direction; unbeknownst to her that she will lose this battle by doing so.

One

More

Step

The zipping of my snare can be heard as she steps on the trigger, and it effectively grabs hold of her ankle and pulls her in the air. She's now dangling about five feet off the ground upside down, with a stunned expression and no weapon in her hand. She dropped it on the ground in her surprise trapping, and now it is beyond her reach. Quickly taking advantage of the now weaponless and surprised Career, I lunge forward and end this thing with a quick slit of her throat.

BOOM!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Victor of the Seventy-Third Hunger Games, Gale Hawthorne of District 12!" Claudius Templeton announces. I can hear the loud cheering of the Capitol at my win, and I drop my knife to the ground and fight to stay conscious until I get to the ladder of the hovercraft. Then everything goes black.

I really don't know why I turned on the television in the first place. It's not like it's anything good ever and but it's well before dawn so I didn't think anything special would be on. But of course it would be my Games. Being the most current Victor, they would be playing my Games today of all days. It's Reaping Day.

Shaking my head to attempt to get the images of my Games out of my head that I was just vividly reminded of, I put several coins in my pocket and quietly leave my house in Victor's Village, hoping to not wake up the rest of my sleeping family. Especially Rory, because it's his first reaping-he needs all the sleep he can manage to get. Since no one has to take out tesserae in my family anymore (not that I would have ever allowed them to regardless), he's about as safe as he can get with one slip. Not much to worry about, but the reaping is horrible for anyone, even the safest people. I'm not even in the reaping and I'm worried sick.

I walk the path to town to buy bread from the baker before going to the woods to meet my best friend, Katniss. It's not necessary for me to hunt anymore since I have more money than I know what to do with, but I do for two reasons. One, I really have nothing else to do since I'm not required to work in the mines, and I really do enjoy hunting more than anything. And two, Katniss still needs the meat for her family, which consists of her mother and little sister Prim, who is the most important person in the world to her. Even with the Parcel Days in the last year as part of my win for the whole district, any hunting helps. I begged Katniss to take some of my money so she wouldn't have to take out tesserae or worry about anything, but she refused. She's just as stubborn as me, but I guess that's one of the reasons I love her. Yes, I love her, as more than my best friend. I have actually for about the last six months, but I haven't showed it. Not to her. She's not interested in marriage or kids, and when it comes to people she's pretty oblivious anyway. Her only focus is survival. She could marry me since I have so much and could take care of her without risking the mines, but I know she still wouldn't want it. It would just confuse her and would make our friendship complicated if I did something, so I keep my feelings relatively hidden from her.

Because of her stubbornness and taking tesserae, she has twenty slips in the reaping bowl today. She refused to let Prim take any out, so she has one slip in her first year just like Rory. I hate that Katniss wouldn't let me make her safe so she would only have to take out her required five slips. It's just so unnecessary now to take more, because I'm more than willing to take care of her. To give her the best odds I can to make sure she doesn't have to go through what I did. And trust me, it's not an experience I would wish on anyone...except maybe a few Gamemakers and President Snow.

I pay for two loaves of bread as well as a few cookies, and I duck under the uncharged fence to go to our meeting place. It's a rock ledge that overlooks the valley, and it's quite a view. I sit down and wait for her to show. After about fifteen minutes, she does.

"Morning Catnip." I greet her. She smiles a real smile and I return it with my own. I swear she only really smiles in the woods, where we can be ourselves. I don't mind though, because it means that they are only for me.

We have a pretty normal day, eating breakfast that I provided and doing a little hunting and gathering. I love spending time with her, especially here in the woods. I'm really going to miss her when I have to leave today for the Capitol for at least a few weeks if not more. I wish she was going with me.

We leave earlier than usual to get ready for the reaping, and I give her all the food and money we have left today after trading at the Hob and the mayor's house. I know she's unhappy that I didn't take any, but I ignore her protests and start to walk off quickly before she can give any back to me. I've found that this is the only way I can get her to accept it all, and even that doesn't work half the time.

"Wear something pretty." I tell her flatly as I pick up my pace to my house-not that it would matter what she wears, she's always pretty. I listen for her following footsteps and find none. Good, she's not chasing me down today. Probably realizes that she won't be able to hunt much in the coming weeks because of required viewing so she will grudgingly accept and not run after me to force it back into my hands like usual.

I come into the house and hear the television on again. I really should have hidden the remote before I left, everything on is terrible anyway. We get a few Capitol channels in Victor's Village, but a majority of what is on is something to do with the Hunger Games. Not my idea of daily entertainment. I go to see whose watching and I find Posy playing with a doll on the floor, not really paying attention to the screen. I'm glad because of course it's featuring me again. This time it's my final interview before I left the Capitol last year.

"So Gale, you had quite an exciting Games experience. Very impressive for someone from District 12. What made you fight so hard?" Ceaser asks me. I give him a serious look, and reply.

"I promised I would come back home. Any means necessary."

Any means necessary; I certainly did that. When I had my final goodbyes with my friends and family before the Games, Katniss had been my last visitor. Maybe there wasn't anything romantic between us, but she ran straight to my arms and gave me a tight hug. She promised me that she would keep my family fed because we made a pact about that. Then she gave me some advice-get a bow, use my snares. Told me to be nice and not show my complete hatred for the Capitol, because that would not get me sponsors. In response I gave her a dark laugh.

"Catnip, they don't always have bows. And how do you know I'll get sponsors anyway? If you haven't noticed, we're from District 12, not a Career District." I scoffed at her. Really, she couldn't believe that I'd get any sponsors. Not with the drunken bum Haymitch Abernathy as my mentor.

"You can get sponsors. And you will come back." She replied with a forceful insistence.

"Well I'm certainly going to try to come back. I'm not going down without a fight." I assured her.

"Promise me you'll come back. Promise me now." she declared suddenly.

"I promise." I replied, staring into her eyes so she knows I'm telling the truth.

"Any means necessary?" she continued, glaring at me with her fierce grey eyes which have a blazing fire behind them. I swear for such a small fifteen year old girl, she really can be quite terrifying. Even without a bow in her hands.

"Any means necessary." I confirmed. And I definitely did so. I'm not proud of some of my moves in the Games, but I promised her I would come home any means necessary. And unfortunately, some of those prideless moments were necessary to win.

I bound up the stairs and go to my room to change into better clothes. I put on a white dress shirt and black pants, and comb my hair. Unfortunately, it really does matter what I wear now because I'm the mentor this year, and the only person in the district of reaping age not in any danger of being picked. People will be watching me, and I will be the one who tries to get sponsors for my two unlucky tributes. I shudder at the thought. If I despised the Capitol before, that has nothing on my burning passionate hatred now. Now I know things, more than I ever imagined being true. Things I wish weren't true.

I go downstairs and eat lunch with my family, who are all dressed in their best for the reaping. Rory is in clothes similar to mine, but his shirt is a dark green, not white. We eat lunch and go to the square earlier than usual because I have to get there before everyone else. We arrive, and I hug my family goodbye and walk to the Justice Building, where 12's escort, Effie is waiting with the mayor.

"Gale! So wonderful to see you again. It's been too long since the Victory Tour." she says in her annoying Capitol accent. Sadly I've had to get used to the accent, but it doesn't make it any less annoying. Just the opposite, actually.

"It's good to see you too." I reply politely even though it isn't, because making Effie mad is not going to help anything. I've learned that lesson the hard way, and I'll see even more of her this year-I can't escape her by going into the arena this time.

"Do you know where Haymitch is dear? He's late once again." she asks, frustrated. I stifle a laugh at that. Yeah, I bet Haymitch is late every year. Probably getting completely wasted before going to the damn Capitol once again. I would start drinking to help my nightmares too, but really, I don't want to turn into Haymitch. He's more than drunk enough for the both of us on a daily basis anyway.

"No I don't. Sorry." I answer. But there he is, stumbling in. Wasted, as I predicted.

"Let's get this show on the road!" he slurs with a chuckle. Effie stomps her feet and pushes him out the door to the stage, and the mayor and I follow. I take my seat and search the crowd for Katniss, determined to not take my eyes off her until I know for certain that she is safe.

The mayor goes to make his speech, and then he recalls District 12's list of Victors. This is pretty short since there are only three, and just two of us are still living. After his speech, Effie goes and says her line, May the odds be ever in your favor!, which Katniss and I make fun of on a regular basis. Really, anything is funny in the Capitol accent, but saying it like Effie is just hilarious.

I hold my breath as Effie says "Ladies first." and walks over to the girl's bowl of names. Twenty of those slips say Katniss Everdeen on them, and I hope with all my might that the slip that Effie has in her hand is not one of them. I do a silent chant in my head. Not Katniss. Not Katniss. Not Katniss.

And it's not Katniss. No, it is someone far worse-Prim. Shit.

I just sit there shocked for a minute. Prim? It can't be Prim. For Panem's sake, her name was in there once. One fucking slip. She had the best odds someone can have and got reaped. I shake my head internally and try to focus again. That's when I hear the words I knew would come from my best friend's mouth.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"

So I'm getting what I wanted after all. Katniss is going to the Capitol with me; I won't be leaving her behind this year. I curse at myself for that. Be careful what you wish for


	2. I Had To

Katniss pushes Prim behind her on her way up to the stage, but Prim is panicking. When Katniss gets to the stairs, she grabs hold of her and starts screaming and crying at her to "please don't go" and "don't do this". I wish she would listen to Prim, but I know she won't. She can't. Katniss is starting to lose her strong demeanor at Prim's panic, and I know she won't want to look weak. Looking weak automatically marks you as an easy target, and I don't want that for her. No, I need her to look strong, to be strong. I need her to come out of that arena alive, and Prim isn't helping at the moment. So I decide to help Katniss myself, not caring that I'm probably not even allowed to interfere with this. Who's going to stop me? I stride over to the steps from my place on stage and grab Prim from behind, taking her in my arms as she breaks hold of Katniss.

"Up you go Catnip." I tell her, trying mostly in vain to keep my voice from shaking. I don't want her to go up there. No, I want her to run in the opposite direction, to the woods. Disappear so she won't have to do this. But that isn't an option now. Not with the entire fucking country watching. Not when she had to volunteer for this shit to save Prim.

I take the still crying Prim to her mother, who is screaming so loudly that I can't hear anything that's happening on stage. It must be something interesting though, because I see a lot of people gasping in the crowd. Guess I'll find out in the recap later of the reapings what that's about.

I make my way back after forcing Prim into a shocked Mrs. Everdeen's arms, and hear Effie asking the crowd to give Katniss a round of applause. And to my everlasting thanks to District 12, no one complies. Instead, everyone silently touches their lips with three fingers and puts them in the air to her-the old symbol of love, admiration, and thanks. I think they do it because they know this is so fucking wrong, every bit of it. To try to make a twelve year old fight to the death in the first place, because Katniss had to volunteer for this death match to save her. All of Panem is finally seeing the girl I love for who she is; self-sacrificing for those she loves no matter the consequences for herself. And despite the fact that I wish she wasn't up there at all, I'm proud of her. Proud of the District for this rebellious move.

Effie clearly doesn't know what to do with this response, but when she recovers she walks over to the boy's bowl of names. Once she has another slip in her hand, she walks back to the microphone. I don't even have time to wish for Rory's safety before she's saying the name. Not that wishing has gotten me anywhere good today, so maybe that's for the best.

"Peeta Mellark." Effie says. I sigh with relief because it's not Rory, because I really don't know what I would do if I had him as a tribute as well as Katniss. He's safe with his one slip, just like Prim should have been. Interesting though, that it would be the baker's son; he couldn't have had more than five slips being that he's from town. The odds were definitely not in favor of the safest people this year.

I watch as the blond boy walks up to the stage from the sixteen year old section, and he looks like he's almost in tears. Big mistake kid. I take a quick glance at Katniss, hoping my taking Prim away helped her to not look like her fellow tribute, who is well on his way to making himself look like a future bloodbath cannon. Well maybe it's for the best since he's not coming home alive any way. Not if Katniss is going to win, which she is. I sigh in relief-luckily she doesn't look about to cry like her competitor. To anyone else she would look bored, but I know better. Concealed behind that bored mask is fear and disbelief, and she's gazing in the direction of our woods. And I know she's thinking the same thing I was just a few minutes ago-we both wish she could run away.

I make my way back onto the stage as the mayor starts the Treaty of Treason, but I'm not really paying attention to him at all. Instead, I begin to formulate a plan to bring Katniss home. There isn't another option here; I'm not going to let her die-I know it would be partially or entirely my fault if she did. I wouldn't be able to come home if that happen, nor would I want to. I would be a complete disaster and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. No, Katniss is going to be the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games. And I'm going to make damn sure that's the outcome-any means necessary. On her side and mine.

As the mayor asks the tributes to shake hands and they do so, they are escorted into the Justice Building for their friends and family goodbyes. Since I don't have to say goodbye because I will be with her, I go the other way to my waiting family. On my way there, I see Prim and Mrs. Everdeen going in the opposite direction. Suddenly, I have an idea.

"Prim!" I call to her. She turns in my direction and runs to give me a hug, crying while doing so.

"Bring her back. Please bring her home." she mumbles between tears. I gently pull her out of the embrace and crouch down to her level, looking her right in her teary blue eyes.

"I will. But can you do something important for me?" I ask her seriously. She nods, listening for my request.

"I need you make Katniss promise you she will win. Can you do that?" I tell her. At that, she gives me a small smile.

"Yes. She would never break a promise to me." she answers as she realizes my logic.

"Exactly." I reply with a nod. Prim gives me a quick squeeze goodbye as she races back to catch up to her mother at the Justice Building. Good. Making Katniss promise Prim to come home is the first part of my plan. She will be far less likely to do something stupid in the Games if she has to win for Prim after all.

I go to find my family again, and hug them all goodbye. Luckily it won't be for maybe the last time this year, but they know this year is almost as horrible; Katniss is basically family to them as well. I ask my mother to tell Katniss that she will take care of Prim and Mrs. Everdeen while we are gone. I don't want her to have any distractions going into that arena, and I know that her family being taken care of is the biggest worry on her part. Katniss won't like the charity, but she did it for them last year and it's not like there's a better option. Besides, she won't be here to feel guilty about it anyway. My mother agrees, and she and the rest of my family go to say goodbye to Katniss as I go to the waiting car that will take me to the train.

As soon as I get to the train, I walk down the hall to the bedrooms, purposefully passing mine and going straight to the one that will be Katniss's. I know she will want to see me in private because she won't want to show the others any weakness. She can to me though, because we are the only people that we can truly be ourselves with. I want to give her the chance to be weak if she wants to, even if it's only for a second. Hell, I want to break down but I know I can't. If she sees me falling apart, she won't believe that I'm going to make her a Victor. While I'm waiting, I sit on the enormous bed and think about how I will go about the next part of my plan for what I can do to get her out. I'm not going to like it, but I'll do it. For her.

Eventually the door opens, and when she sees me she shuts the door behind her and lets her careful mask fall. In its place is all the fear and sadness that I could see behind it earlier, and I jump off the bed quickly to her to embrace her tightly. I hold her as close as I can, never wanting to let go. In my arms at least, I know she is safe.

"I-I had to do it. I couldn't let them take her." I hear, muffled by my shirt since I haven't let up on my hold and neither has she.

"I know." I reply, stroking her hair as I do so. I pull away slightly so she can see me.

"Do you remember what you told me to do last year?" I ask her, staring her right in the eyes. She needs to know how completely serious I am. In response she nods but clearly doesn't trust her voice to say it yet.

"You made me promise to come home any means necessary. And I did." I remind her. It wasn't always easy, but I did what I had to do to come home. I take her face in my hands so she can't look away from me, "Promise me the same. Any means necessary."

"I promise. Any means necessary." she replies after a moment. Good. Between promising Prim and me, she will have to come home. She won't allow herself to let us both down.

"And I promise the same. You are winning these Games. I'll make sure of it."

"How? It's not going to be as easy to get me sponsors as it was you. I'm not 'camera ready' like you are." she asks, referring to what Ceaser called me during my interview. I really don't believe that's true, but apparently it did help me get sponsors. More than Haymitch could get me on his own anyway. But she can get sponsors-Katniss is beautiful, though she doesn't see it. Plus she has a mentor who is willing to go to the gates of hell to bring her home a Victor.

"Trust me, you will have sponsors. I'm going to make sure of it. Any means necessary." I respond boldly. She really has no idea what I'm willing to do. What I have to do-I've kept her in the dark for a reason. But I can't have her ask me what I'm going to do, so I change the subject quickly.

"It's time to go to dinner. Ready?" she nods, and we walk out the door to join the others.


	3. Problematic

When Katniss and I walk into the dining car, we see that we are the last to arrive. Effie, Haymitch, and Peeta all look up at us in acknowledgement, but don't say anything. What's there to say anyway? They all know who I've chosen to save-it wasn't even a contest. Katniss is my best friend and the girl I love, though that second part is unknown to her and probably most everyone else. But regardless of that, they all know I'm going to bring her home no matter what. I don't think Effie or even Haymitch really care that I chose her, but I'm sure Peeta does. How could he not, when he's well aware he's going to die because of that choice? Sure it's not fair to him, but I'm willing to bet he understands. After all, there can only be one Victor.

We sit down in the two empty seats across from each other, which leaves her sitting next to Effie and me next to Haymitch, who isn't actually eating anything and has taken this opportunity to drink the readily available alcohol at his leisure. Peeta is at the end of the table between us, eating while simultaneously watching Katniss. Katniss, as usual, is oblivious to this staring. What's with this kid? Is he just trying to size her up, even though he knows it's pointless? We've sold meat to the baker for years; he knows she can use weapons. In fact, she's better than me at practically everything except snares. Not that any other tribute or citizen will see it coming that she's that good, but it will actually play to her advantage. Underestimating people can be the difference between life and death in the arena.

I really doubt Peeta has used a knife for anything except baking, let alone any other potential weapons. Kid's got no chance, and he must know it. But then I see it-he's looking at her so tenderly, and I know. He likes her. Too bad the odds aren't in his favor on that one. Even if he wasn't the other going in the Games with her and dying, she's not interested in anyone. And if I'm not showing Katniss my love for her, like hell he is.

"Don't eat too much. All that rich food will make you sick if you don't pace yourself." I advise them, effectively snapping Peeta out of his staring and I hold back my smirk. Mission accomplished for now. He and Katniss nod at me, and we proceed through the rest of the meal mostly in silence.

Luckily, Effie doesn't comment on their table manners like she did mine last year. She praised my proper etiquette, which I only had from eating at Katniss's house in the first place. Since Mrs. Everdeen was from town, she ate with utensils and made the rest of us eat with them when we were there, so I had learned them unlike most people from Seam. But I got so pissed at Effie because it wasn't enough for her to just compliment them; she had to lace it with an insult. She complained about the tributes manners last year as well as my fellow tribute, who were all from Seam like me. However, I'm positive none of them had ever had a chance to learn table manners let alone have a full meal once in their lives like I have. So all that rich food was too tempting and they stuffed it in like it was the last meal they would ever have. For most of them it was one of the last. The girl tribute from my district, who was a scrawny fourteen year old from the Community House, felt embarrassed and stopped eating when Effie said that. But being me, I did something about it. I immediately stopped eating, threw my utensils behind me, and began gorging myself loudly on the food with my hands. Then when I was done, I wiped my hands on the table cloth just for good measure, and gave Effie a big Fuck You with my hand. The girl gave me a small smile as thanks and Haymitch began laughing his head off, but Effie was furious. As punishment, she was less than helpful the entire week up to the Games, and looking back, I realize I could have used her help. But of course she forgave me as soon as I won the Games. Though I suspect it was selfishness more than anything because she started gushing about all the parties she would be able to attend and how she would have to be promoted now to a better district.

Knowing that Effie can actually help, I'm grateful she doesn't say anything because I know for a fact Katniss at least would have had the same reaction I did. She probably wouldn't have taken it quite as far as me, but it's good to know she won't put herself on Effie's bad side from the beginning. Seeing as it's my first year mentoring and I'm hell-bent on bringing her home alive, I'm going to need all the help I can get. And unfortunately, that help includes Effie and a lot of other Captiolites I hate. Apparently District 12 has two new stylists this year though which is lucky because last year they sucked ass and didn't even try too hard in my opinion. Hopefully these one's are better and don't put her in a fucking coal miner costume like mine did. I'm not holding my breath on that one though; 12's stylists are all either not original or just don't give a shit. I suspect a combination of the two.

After everyone is done eating Effie suggests that we all go into the television room to watch the recap of all the reapings, and we do. I sit on the couch next to Katniss as it begins, and watch the screen intently to size up her competition. To figure out whom the real threats to her winning are just on first impressions. I realize she's not going to be the strongest- but she's smart, talented with weapons, and people are going to love her. If not for her just being a beautiful person inside and out, they will at least be intrigued about her volunteering for Prim. But knowing who are going to be potential problems for her in the arena will help prepare her for it even better.

It's worse than I expected right from the get-go with District 1. The first tribute is a gorgeous blonde girl who looks like she's a bit ditzy, but I know better than to write her off. First of all, she has to have at least fifty pounds on Katniss, and just being a Career in general means that she's far more dangerous than she appears. After all, Careers train for this. Not that they're technically allowed to, but nobody stops them. Her fellow tribute who volunteers is easily close to my height, and probably just as dangerous as the girl if not more. In District 2, it just gets worse. First of all, the brown haired girl volunteers, so I know she's willing and ready for this. Just like my last opponent last year she looks fierce, so I know she's going to be problematic. Even so, she's got nothing on the boy tribute, who eagerly pushes his way up to the stage to volunteer. With his tall, bulking mass excited and ready, and the glint in his eyes which tell me he probably enjoys murdering, I know he's going to be Katniss's biggest competition. He needs to die fast so he's out of the way, but I know it would take a miracle for that to happen. Far more often than not Careers are the last few alive, and Careers make up almost half of all Victors. But a Career's not winning this year -Katniss is going to be the Victor. That doesn't make them any less dangerous though-far from it.

None from 3 and surprisingly no Career from 4 stands out in my mind. The Careers are definitely not up to their usual standards this year, but the District 2 boy alone will more than make up for that I'm sure. Next up is the red-haired girl from District 5, who seems unsurprised as she coolly makes her way up the stage. She seems sly like a fox; you can see it in her eyes. She's not a priority on the competitors to watch list, but I put her on there just to be safe. Sly, smart people can be the most dangerous of all sometimes. Districts 6 through 10 are shown with no one too memorable, other than the fact that the boy from 10 is limping, and obviously has a bad leg. That kid's definitely a bloodbath-he won't be able to run fast enough to live past the first day.

I'm starting to feel uneasy as District 11 pops up, because 12 will be up right after that. And no one in this room, especially Katniss, wants to witness that. Hell, I don't want to watch it, living it was bad enough; I really don't need the reminder so soon. I get even edgier when I see the girl tribute walk on to the stage-a tiny dark skinned girl who has to be a twelve-year-old if she's old enough to be reaped. Oh fuck, not a little kid. She reminds me of…no, don't think of your Games, Gale. Focus on Katniss.

I feel Katniss slip her hand in mine when she sees her, the reminder of Prim being too prevalent. She needs something to hold onto so she doesn't show the others how she's feeling, and I guess grasping my hand was the easiest solution because she knows I understand. I don't mind though, not in the least. I'll gladly hold her hand anytime, even if it is in such a fucked up situation. To try to calm her down I gently stroke her knuckles with my thumb, but it doesn't seem to be working too well.

When the escort asks for volunteers, there's complete silence. So this little girl either has no one to help her or they're not willing to. Not that I'm really surprised; volunteering is rarer than snow in July in any District aside from 1, 2, and 4. No one's going to willingly sign up for a death sentence, even if it is a family member. But Katniss, like me, puts family above herself so that's a moot point for us. For sure I would have done the same as Katniss if our roles were reversed and Rory was called.

The boy tribute is named, and I quickly add him to my list of competitors. He looks…well he looks like a Career, like apparently I did last year. I hope like me he also doesn't join the Careers, though I'm sure that they will offer it to him. But even if he's on his own he's going to be dangerous for Katniss to deal with. Anyone of that size would be.

As District 12 pops up, I grow even tenser, and squeeze Katniss's hand hard. I knew it was going to be bad, but seeing it from a different perspective than my own is tougher than I imagined. They show Prim being called, Katniss frantically volunteering for her and me walking across the stage to pull Prim away from her so she can go up the stage. Katniss goes up and there's some confusion on Effie's part since the volunteer procedure has never been used in our District, but the mayor just says to let her be the tribute because it doesn't matter. He looks sadly at her, and I think he realized who she was-the girl he buys strawberries from.

Katniss says her name, and she looks about to cry. But she doesn't because now I get to see what everyone was gasping about when I was taking a screaming Prim to her mother. Haymitch is shouting and putting his arm around her, saying that she has spunk. Then he walks forward and tells the camera that she 'has more spunk than you', and falls off the stage into unconsciousness. Did he really just taunt the Capitol on purpose? Or was he giving Katniss time to pull herself together so she could look strong, since he would know that I would be hell-bent on bringing her home? I take a glance at him, and see that he's watching me, waiting for my reaction. I give him a look that asks why he did it. In response, he glances at Katniss beside me before looking back at me and winks. Wow. He did it on purpose to help her, so he couldn't possibly have been as wasted as he appeared to be. So I'm guessing he took the opportunity to insult the Capitol as well, and passed it off as drunkenness. I know he despises the Capitol too, probably almost as much as I do. As usual, I have underestimated Haymitch. I should probably watch him more carefully from here on out, because I have a feeling he knows more than he lets on.

Peeta is called on the stage, and I see myself make my way back up it. They shake hands to acknowledge each other as competitors and the screen goes black. Effie takes this as a cue for everyone to go to bed since tomorrow will be a "big, big, big day." I let go of Katniss's hand though I really don't want to, and walk her to her room. When we arrive, I look down and see something shiny and gold pinned on her dress that I had missed before. It's a mockingjay pin, and I think that it's real gold. Where the hell did Katniss get a real gold pin? That thing could easily feed her family for a year. She sees my staring at it, and enlightens me.

"Madge gave it to me in the Justice Building. She insisted that I wear it as my District token." she answers my unspoken question with. The mayor's daughter? That's interesting that she said goodbye, it's not like Katniss is really close to her. But I know they eat lunch together, and that Madge is probably the closest thing to a friend Katniss has besides me. By choice of course-she's too focused on survival to have many friends. Still, it's nice of her to come.

"Why?" I ask. I really have no idea why Madge would give her something so expensive as a gift, let alone insist she wear it in the arena. It's fucking real gold after all, and even the Mayor doesn't have endless money. In response she shrugs, just as confused as I am.

"I don't know. Well, I better get to sleep. Goodnight." she says, and gives me a quick hug before going into her room. As soon as the door shuts behind her, I race off to my own room to put the next part of my Bring Katniss Home plan in motion. Probably one of the worst things I'm going to have to do on my part, but it's necessary. Katniss needs sponsors, and I'm going to get as many as possible for her no matter what.

When I get to my room, I close the door and go to the bathroom to turn on the shower for background noise. I know that probably everyone is asleep or in their rooms, but I'm not taking any chances of someone else hearing this conversation. I go over to the phone and dial the memorized number of my new best friend, Jullus. I know the number by heart because I dreaded picking up the phone every time I've seen it in the last year, but this is actually the first time I'm calling him. I don't truly hate the man himself because he is a pretty nice guy for a Capitolite. In fact, I sort of...well not like him, but deal with him as someone who isn't an enemy. What I really despise is what he represents, why I know him in the first place. But he's going to actually be useful now and help me get as many sponsors as physically possible for Katniss, so I'm almost glad I know him. He answers the phone after a few rings with a hello in the annoying Capitol accent. I take a deep breath, and begin my journey to help ensure Katniss's success.

"Jullus, its Gale. I need you to do me a favor."


	4. Caught

"Oh, Gale! What kind of favor?" a surprised Jullus inquires. It's evident that he is quite confused that I'm actually calling him; I'm guessing he and I both assumed that would never happen. But given the circumstances he's my best option for getting lots of sponsors as much as I dread what I have to do to get them. I take a deep breath and answer him.

"I need more appointments. As many as possible in the next week." I tell him forcefully so he knows this is not a joke. Yet another thing probably both of us thought I would ever ask for.

A few days after I had won my Games and had received my Victor's crown, I was taken to the President's mansion to have a meeting with Snow. I should have known by the look on Haymitch's face that it wasn't going to be good, but I thought it was just a standard meeting all Victors had with the President. Sure, I hated the man, but what could Snow possibly do to me now? I was a Victor and that made my life and my family's lives easier. I thought the worst was over when I came out of the Games. I was dead wrong.

"Mr. Hawthorne, please sit." he greets me with a fake smile and gestures to the chair. When I comply, I am immediately overwhelmed by an overpowering awful smell. It seems like it's a combination of roses and… blood? The roses I understand because he's wearing one on his suit, but it must be genetically engineered somehow if I can smell it that easily. The blood…well that one I really can't figure out because really that isn't a normal scent to wear to make people think you smell nice. In fact, it does the exact opposite. He doesn't say anything for a moment, just stares at me curiously like he's sizing me up. It makes me feel edgy, and I have the intense feeling that I shouldn't have come here at all. Not like I really had a choice, though.

"Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on your Victory." he eventually states.

"Thank you." I reply, still feeling wary but trying not to show it. There's no way that congratulating me is the only reason I'm here. I can sense it.

"You made yourself quite popular in that arena. The people here in the Capitol love you." He tells me. I just nod in response. Where is he going with this?

"You see Mr. Hawthorne, there are certain…duties that come with being a popular Victor such as yourself." He claims.

"Duties?" I question in confusion even though I really don't want to know. I realize that I will have the duty from now on to mentor tributes, but something tells me that's not what he's talking about.

"Yes duties. You see, popular Victors are loved by the Capitol Citizens, and many wish to spend extra special one-on-one time with them. And me being the wonderful President I am, I give them this option by selling them time with Victors. Do you understand what I mean Mr. Hawthorne?"

"You want to sell me? What makes you think I'll let you?" I spit out in disgust. He can't seriously believe that I'm going to…going to be sold to people for sex.That I'll let him sell me. I'm not a piece of furniture; I can't be bought like one. It's completely morbid and so fucking wrong to sell people, and there's nothing he can do to make me comply.

"Oh I think you will be quite willing. You wouldn't want anything to happen to your family or your 'friend' would you?" he replies with an evil looking grin. When he says that, my mouth drops open in shock. I can't believe he's threatening to kill my family and Katniss if I don't let him sell me. I more than hate him-I fucking despise him, I want to send him straight to hell and watch him burn for an eternity. That's such a low blow- agree or I'll kill those you love. I really don't want to say yes, but I have to. He has me caught, because I will never condemn my family or Katniss to death. And he knows it. Fucking bastard.

"I'll do it." I force out, virtually signing my own slavery contract. He has me in his own form of a snare, and I can't attempt to try to get out of it. Not when killing those I love is the consequence.

"I thought so. You will begin your duties tonight." He smirks bemusedly, "You have done it before, haven't you?"

In response to his question, I nod. Yes, I have had sex with girls before-I'm not known as the King of the Slag Heap for nothing after all. I do have a life outside of school and hunting with Katniss you know. I didn't even think of Katniss as more than a friend until about six months ago, but I ended my trysts with other girls when that happened. But being sold for sex is something quite different than willingly doing it. Especially when the people that I'm being sold to are fucking Capitolites for their pleasure.

"Excellent." he grins in response, "When you leave in a moment your manager, Jullus, will be waiting for you. He will be the one who deals with organizing your appointments and he will be calling you to the Capitol for them from now on throughout the year." Snow informs, and gestures that I can leave with a flick of his hand as he ignores me and goes back to reading whatever he was before I came in. I really want to punch him, to strangle him to death, but I realize I can't. If I did they would probably not only kill me but kill my family and Katniss as well. When I promised I would come home any means necessary, neither Katniss nor I could have ever guessed that it would have to apply to after I won as well. So I do what he says, and attempt to not storm out the door on my way out. But when my hand is on the doorknob, I stop short when Snow speaks again.

"Oh, and Finnick Odair has stayed to aid you in how to correctly go about your duties. You will be meeting with him before your appointment tonight." He adds. Oh shit, not Finnick. The sex symbol of Panem, the one all the girls fall over. Is he really telling me that I'm going to be the new Finnick Odair? Guess I'm going to find out, I think grudgingly.

That first appointment was horrific, and I loathed every second of it. It was a woman of about thirty with blue stripped hair and green skin, with fish scales embedded in her legs. I think she was trying to look like a mermaid or something, and it was really weird and creepy. But I didn't show my complete disgust and put on what Finnick called my 'Capitol Mask' so Snow wouldn't hurt anyone I love. The appointments throughout the year just got worse and worse. Jullus had called me five separate times throughout the year, and I had to go to the Capitol for usually a week every time that happened. I would have at least one appointment a day if not more when I was in the Capitol and I hated every second of it.

The Victory Tour was the worst-I had four appointments in the same day. It's always terrible, and the women that have bought me have been anywhere between the ages of 15 and 60. They always pay me after, probably believing that it will help their guilt for buying me. It really doesn't make me feel better, but I take it anyway. Money for my family is money after all. I've hidden the entire situation from my family and Katniss, and the only person in the District that knows the truth is Haymitch. Haymitch, who happens to be the greatest example of all for what transpires if you piss of Snow. His whole family and his girlfriend we dead two weeks after he got home from his Games because he made the Gamemakers look like fools. He used their own force field to win the Games, and Snow punished him for it. So I don't do anything that would make Snow believe that I am going against his orders, not wanting the same results. But that doesn't mean my family and Katniss have to know the truth. I certainly don't want them knowing, I'm so ashamed that I'm doing it. But I have to-them dying for my stupidity is not an option.

"Are you sure?" Jullus asks me, bewildered that I'm actually begging him for more of the abhorrent appointments.

"Yes. I..I need sponsors. As many as possible." I enlighten him.

"Katniss?" he asks, more rhetorically than anything. He knows that she's part of the reason I do these appointments, and has evidently seen the reapings. He knows that I would do anything to bring her home safe and sound.

"Yes." I answer, not that he really needed the confirmation, "Please, I need her to win. I'll do anything to get her sponsors. Just get me as many appointments as you can." I know begging is pathetic, but I really need him to help me.

"Alright I'll get right on it." he sighs, but I know it's not because he will have extra work. It's because he feels sorry for me, sorry that I have to do this at all. That's what I mean when I say Jullus really is a nice guy. He genuinely cares, despite what his job is and where he's from.

"Thank you." I reply gratefully.

"I'll make sure you have an appointment when you arrive." he promises. "Gale, I'm truly sorry. Really."

"I believe you." I answer sincerely. "See you in the morning."

I hang up the phone and go turn the shower off. I really should take a shower, but I'm so mentally exhausted from today that I just decide to go to sleep and clean up in the morning. God, this must have been the longest fucking day of my whole life. Could it really have been just this morning that I was eating breakfast with Katniss at our meeting place? It feels like a lifetime ago. I guess that's what happens when your life gets turned upside down from one fucking slip of paper. And here I am, frantically trying to make plans to bring her home at any cost. I really don't care what I have to do; it's her I'm worried about. She's the one going into the arena this time, and when she's in there I don't have a ton of control on what happens. But I'm getting ahead of myself-there's still another week before the Games begin. She has the Opening Ceremony, training, scores, and the interview yet. And during that time I'll have more control, including getting her sponsors. I really don't know how I'm going to be able to hide my 'duties' from her anymore though. I'm going to try, but it's going to be difficult with her in such close proximity not to mention the fact that she can read my thoughts and emotions so easily. It's a miracle I've been able to keep the truth from her at all.

Maybe Haymitch can help me with that one. He's already proven to me that he knows I've chosen her when he helped give her time to pull herself together onstage by looking like a fool himself. Hell, he's probably already figured out that I'm taking on more appointments to get her sponsors, but he'll know that I'll still try keeping her in the dark about it. She doesn't need any distractions going into that arena, and that would most definitely be a distraction for her. No, she can't know-she doesn't need to, and I don't want her to. Sometimes it's better to be left in the dark. For sure I wish I was on this one.


	5. Worth It

In the morning after a mostly restless sleep filled with nightmares, I wake up and take a long hot shower. I really don't personally feel the need to be clean, but I know Capitolites will want me to be. Ugh, I can't believe I have to do this again. But I really can't make any mistakes this time, because it's not for my family to stay alive and in the dark about the situation. No, now it's only to get Katniss as many sponsors as possible, and somehow try to not let her know-much easier said than done in that case. My plan is to have them sponsor her instead of paying me with their guilt money like they usually do, and also suggesting that they tell their friends to sponsor as well. I'm hopeful that this will work for most appointments but I'll have to go about it carefully. Everyone in Panem knows Katniss is my best friend from the interviews at the final 8 tribute point last year so it won't look out of place for me to ask, but if they get even the slightest hint that I love her as more than a friend they might be turned off. After all, I have to act like Finnick, pretending that my true love is in the Capitol when really they are back home. Or in my case, my own tribute. If one of these idiots buying me gets the slightest clue that they aren't potentially the girl I love, they won't sponsor Katniss. And I can't let that happen, not if I'm going to get as many sponsors as possible in the next week.

As soon as I'm dressed in a light blue t-shirt and some jeans, I head on out to the dining car for breakfast. Not surprisingly, I'm the last to arrive-it is almost nine o'clock after all. I walk in to find myself extremely confused though, because this is not what you would expect to find at a breakfast table. On the table, Haymitch's flask is on its side and the red liquid is spilled all over the white table cloth. Peeta appears to have been punched at some point by the way he holds his chin and the already forming bruise there. From the corner of my eye I can see in the wall a knife stuck between two panels. What the fuck is going on here? Haymitch looks at me and starts laughing at my confused expression.

"Looks like we got two fighters this year. That's a first for me!" he lets out between guffaws, evidently enjoying whatever happened here. Two fighters? I mean, he should have known that Katniss was one between all the years of us trading at the Hob and just knowing from me, but Peeta? I didn't expect him to be a fighter. He was almost crying at the reaping, and he's a fucking baker's son! What the hell can he possibly do? Maybe he's playing the weak game so people underestimate him like Johanna Mason did five years ago, but that doesn't really work for someone of his size. No one would actually believe that he was weak, but a fighter? I don't like it. It just adds another person to the people to watch list so Katniss can come out of the arena a Victor.

"What happened?" I ask, still not really understanding what created the scene before me.

"Well it seems here that this boy actually wants me to mentor him, so he tried to interfere with my drinking. Then when I was grabbing for the bottle he spilled, she stopped me with a knife and defended the boy. Almost took my hand out." Haymitch enlightens me. Wait, Katniss defended Peeta? She…she's trying to help him? She promised me and Prim that she was going to win, and helping her opponent is not a way to do it. I give her a look which I know she will correctly take as why the hell are you helping him? which she replies with an I'll explain later look. This better be good.

"Yeah well, you still didn't have to punch me. Or make Katniss throw the knife, you already know that she can use weapons." Peeta complains. Yeah, Haymitch does know that. Maybe he was trying to show Peeta why it's pointless for him to help him by making Katniss show off her skills? Somehow I don't buy it, but this is Haymitch; who the hell knows what goes on in that crazy smart drunken-ass mind of his? Certainly not me.

Shaking it off, I sit down at the table and begin to gorge myself on all the food. I know I probably won't get to eat until dinner because of my extra appointments, so I need to load up now. Peeta looks at me strangely when I do so, probably because he knows that I'm not exactly starving anymore since I won. I choose to take no notice of his staring, because it's really none of his business and I don't want to have to come up with an excuse. I'm sure as hell not going to tell the truth, but I can't think of a lie that isn't shitty at the moment so ignorance is best. Besides the fact that Katniss would probably know I was lying and get suspicious, and I can't let her be distracted. She wouldn't let it go and would watch me even more closely the whole week, and that's not happening if I can avoid it.

Soon we see the Capitol come into view, and I try not to visibly stiffen at the sight. Not that it matters, because Peeta and Katniss have both gone to the window to look. I continue eating, and after a few minutes Haymitch calls them back over to the table to talk to them.

"Alrighty listen up. In a few minutes we'll be arriving and you'll be immediately placed in the hands of yer stylists. Do whatever yer stylists tell ya and don't complain. Got it?" he commands them.

"But-" Katniss starts, but Haymitch cuts her off.

"No buts. They know what their doin, and whining isn't going to help at all." he informs. Exasperated, Katniss looks to me for support.

"Listen to him. Trust me, complaining won't make it better." I tell her honestly. I swear, the second I let out a complaint they just ripped the hair off my chest harder than necessary. And the wax got suspiciously hotter after too. After that I decided that maybe Haymitch actually had a point in not pissing off your prep team, so I grudgingly kept all the protesting and snide remarks to myself the rest of the week in prep. In response to my agreeing with Haymitch, she nods with a look of annoyance in her eyes.

We begin to come to a stop, and Haymitch and Peeta leave the dining car to the exit. Katniss begins to leave with them, but I take hold of her wrist to stop her. She looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

"Really, complaining doesn't help. I know that from experience." I advise her.

"Am I going to hate it?" she asks me after a moment.

"Yeah, you will." I tell her bluntly. Mine was awful, but I know the girls have it far worse. My district partner was still in the Remake Center hours after I was done, so it couldn't have been fun.

"Great." she replies sarcastically, "Well, guess I'll see you before the ceremony then."

"Actually, I probably won't see you until after." I inform her regretfully.

"Why?"

"I have to be shown all the mentoring things, and that's gonna take a while." I say. Not exactly a lie since I'll have to do it eventually, but not what I'll really be doing either. But a half lie is the only way I'm going to keep her in the dark on the appointment thing for now, so I go with it.

"Oh, right." She replies as her face falls. I pull her into a hug, breathing her in. She smells like home; like the woods, the faint smell of smoke, and also something entirely just Katniss. I need to trap her in my memory, give me a reminder of why I'm going through with so many appointments. It's the only way I'm going to get through all these appointments without losing it. I want her in my arms forever, but I know she has to go now. I'll see her tonight.

"Go. I'm sure they're wandering where you are by now." I tell her as I pull away. She walks out the door to catch up to Peeta and Haymitch and I follow a few steps behind. We arrive just in time too, because the doors open to the cameras and the crowd about twenty seconds after.

Blinded by the bright lights and to the screams of Capitolites, Katniss and Peeta make their way out of the train. They stay for the cameras for a minute, though I can't see their faces so I don't know what impression they are giving. Then they are whisked away to the Remake Center, and Haymitch and I come out into the open as well. I smile for the cameras and play up my Capitol mask because I know it's important for getting sponsors, and then we walk away from the paparazzi to the Training Center. In the lobby I see Jullus waiting for me, and I turn to go to him but I'm stopped by Haymitch's hand on my forearm, holding me back. He glances at Jullus and then back at me.

"Alright kid, fess up. I know what you're doing."

"What's there to say then? She needs sponsors and I'm going to get them for her." I scoff at him, jerking my arm free from his grasp.

"Just don't hurt yerself kid. You don't know what these people will make you do to seal a deal." Haymitch warns me.

"I can handle myself." I assure him. It's not like these stupid appointments are new for me, and I think I've done a pretty good job of making my mask believable by this point.

"I know your taking on as many as you can. It's gonna blow up right up in yer face when ya wear out and lose yer temper at someone." He predicts.

"Well then I'll make sure that doesn't happen." I tell him with a glare. It's not likely that I will allow myself to screw up, especially given the circumstances.

"Just don't fuck this up. Remember you love that girl and this is your best chance at helping though I know you hate it."

"How'd you know I-" I begin bewildered.

"That you love her? Kid, everyone else can see it but her." He cuts me off with, "Besides the fact that there have been bets on when you two would get together since you met."

"What?" I exclaim. I didn't even know I loved her until six months ago! How could the whole fucking district see it coming?

"Don't fuck it up. I'll help ya hide it from her still. Now go before you're late." Haymitch says while giving me a shove in Jullus's direction before he walks off to the elevator. Shit, I really need to watch that man more carefully. He definitely knows more than he lets on.

I make my way over to Jullus, who is waiting patiently for me with a package in his hands. Once I'm there he hands me the package. I quickly take a peek and see that it's a change of clothes.

"Hello Gale."

"Hey. How many did you get?" I ask, not in the mood for small talk and want to get straight to the point. He seems unsurprised by my directness and smoothly answers.

"I have three for today before the Opening Cermony and four tomorrow thus far. Your first appointment is in half an hour with a Decima Livius, age thirty-seven." Jullus informs me promptly. In response I nod, and turn to go change in the nearest restroom.

"Gale, are you sure you want to do this? I can cancel now and you will only have to do the required one a day." He inquires hesitantly, his voice concerned.

I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a sigh before answering, "I don't have a choice. I need her to win."

I slowly open my eyes and peer at Jullus's face. It's a mix of compassion and understanding, and he lets out his own sigh before responding.

"I know you do. I'm sorry you have to go through with this. All of it." He says sincerely, with an edge of anger in his voice. Is a Capitolite actually mad at the Capitol for something? That's got to be a first. Maybe I just imagined it.

"Thanks." I murmur, and walk to the bathroom to change before he takes me to my first appointment.

I come out once I've changed into the black suit with a light green shirt Jullus provided, and we get into the car together that will take me to the appointment. It's not a long ride, but it's in silence which is probably for the best. Once we arrive, I arrange my face into my Capitol mask before opening the car door, knowing that this woman will most likely be right outside of it waiting for me.

I'm correct on that one. The woman before me is pink head to toe, and that's not an exaggeration. Hot pink skin and hair, pink jewels encrusted into her cheeks and a light pink dress that looks way too short for someone her age. When she sees me she immediately grabs my hand and her mouth twists into a devilish grin, revealing that even her teeth are pink.

"Hey Hawthorne." She greets me with, and leans in close so that her pink eyes are mere inches away looking straight into my grey ones. Shit that's terrifying.

"Ensnare me." she whispers seductively. I try my best not to shutter in complete disgust. Ensnare me was apparently the line dubbed to me from all Capitol women during my Games; the downside of using snares to win, I suppose. I know that when they say it that they are referring to it sexually, but I can't help thinking I would love to actually ensnare every last one of them in the real sense-as in the killing sense.

"I'd thought you'd never ask." I force out through my Capitol mask with the best seductive voice I can manage while hiding my repulsion. She winks and pulls me to the building, presumably to her apartment. The whole way up all I can think is I'm doing this for Katniss.

I'm exhausted and starving by the time I'm done for the day, but it's time for the Opening Ceremony so eating and sleep will have to wait. Three appointments in ten hours is a lot to take on, and I know tomorrow is only going to be worse. The only thing that got me through today was thinking of Katniss, and there were times when I would think that this better be worth it. I would quickly push the selfish thought away, but I felt guilty for it being there in the first place; I signed myself up for more appointments, after all.

I take my place next to Haymitch in the stands reserved for Victors, trying to hide my tiredness as I do so. It doesn't disappear fast enough for Haymitch, though.

"I told ya that you're gonna wear yerself out kid." he remarks.

"Shut up." I snap at him, not wanting to hear it.

"How many?" he asks, ignoring my order. Not that I actually expected him to do it anyway.

"Three today and four tomorrow so far." I give in. If he's going to help me hide it he's going to need to know the truth anyway.

"Shit. I hope she's worth it." Haymitch says.

At that moment, the District 12 carriage comes out. Straightaway there are cries of excitement and joy, and I hear Katniss's name being called out. I look at her and I'm instantly mesmerized by what I see. She's actually on fire, but she's not getting burned-looks like the new stylists are original and care this year. And she's waving to the crowd, smiling, and blowing kisses. Who is this girl and what have they done with my Katniss? But then I realize; she's holding up her end of the deal. She's trying to win any means necessary, which includes the crowd loving her even if this cheery girl isn't who she is at all. Any doubt I had today about what I'm doing to get her sponsors has magically vanished. I know now that I would take on ten appointments a day to bring her home, I love her that much. I respond to Haymitch's musing confidently, my eyes never leaving my beautiful Girl on Fire.

"She's worth it. Always has been, always will be."


	6. Curious Thing

As soon as the Opening Ceremony is over, Haymitch and I find Effie and we all go up to our floor in the Training Center to await the stars of the night. I never thought I would be so thrilled to be on that floor again, but I am. For one, I finally get to eat something, because I haven't had anything since breakfast on the train this morning. Two, I finally get to meet these new stylists which I am so thankful for, because they are making my job easier to get sponsors. And most importantly, I get to see Katniss.

When Katniss and Peeta step out of the elevator, there are two people behind them who I'm assuming are the stylists. One is a woman who looks typical Capitol, but surprisingly the man looks rather well, normal. He's in simple black clothes and the only hint of Capitol on him I can see is a bit of gold around his eyes. All four of them are excitedly talking presumably about the Ceremony, so they don't see me at first standing there with Haymitch and Effie. But when Katniss glances at us, she immediately lights up when she sees me, much to my happiness. When they walk up to us she looks like she's going to pull me into a hug, but I stop her. She gives me a confused expression and stops short.

"Who are you and what have you done with Katniss?" I ask seriously, but make it evident enough that I'm joking by my half grin.

"Guess you don't know me as well as you think." She replies with a playful smirk before putting her arms around my waist. I pull her in and whisper "Yeah right, Catnip." into her hair. She knows as well as I do that we know each other better than ourselves sometimes. I know she pulled that cheery girl out to get sponsors; I'm just surprised by her acting skills. She's never been too good at acting and she could have almost fooled me. For sure she fooled the crowds.

"Alright you two break it up. I'm starvin." Haymitch orders. I let out a quiet chuckle and we comply. Katniss gives me a small smile before she and Peeta walk to their rooms presumably to shower and change quickly before dinner. Effie is sitting on the couch watching another recap of the reapings, Haymitch is working on a drink already, and I see one of the stylists, the man, steering in my direction.

"Hello Gale. I'm Cinna, Katniss's stylist." he introduces himself warmly and holds out his hand for me to shake which I do.

"Nice to meet you. For being given District 12, you sure put in a lot of effort. The costumes are amazing." I tell him sincerely. I'm secretly glad that Cinna is Katniss's stylist rather than the woman, because he seems different. Or maybe it's because he looks too normal for a Capitolite, and I sure as hell see way too many crazy Capitolites for my taste.

"Thank you. But I wasn't given District 12; I asked for it." He replies. I give him a quizzical look, because that has to be a first. Yes, new stylists are often given District 12 because we are the lowliest district, but never would I have guessed that someone would want it. To my confusion, he looks around the room to see what everyone else is doing, and turns his gaze back to me.

"Would you like to go up to the roof and chat for a bit?" he quietly asks me. Perplexed, I agree and follow him to the elevator. This has got to be the strangest Capitolite I have ever met, and I've met some pretty strange ass people here.

When we get up to the roof, I'm surprised at what I find-a garden. Since its night I can't really tell what kinds of plants are up here, but this has to be the best place in the Capitol I've found yet. Not exactly a lot of plants in the city, so I'm guessing this is the closest thing to nature there is. It's also incredibly windy up here. I look around and see that surprisingly the walls up here aren't very tall. Don't they think the tributes might get ideas and save themselves the trouble of dying in the Games?

"Aren't they worried that a tribute will take advantage of that?" I ask Cinna as I point to the dark sky visible over the short wall. I know he will realize what I mean by it. A quick jump and a tribute can defy the Capitol, ending their life before the Capitol can make them just a piece in their Games.

"No, there's a force field around it. See?" he answers, and picks up a small rock from a nearby pot to throw it off the roof. When it hits the invisible force field it bounces right back to his hand. Huh, this must be like the force field Haymitch won his Games with.

"Always thinking of the tribute's safety." I respond sarcastically. Cinna studies me for a moment, and he takes something out of his pocket and idly fiddles with it in his hand.

"You must find us despicable." he states. I don't reply to that comment, and he shrugs, probably knowing that I do.

"No matter." he says. After a minute he questions, "You know Katniss well, correct?"

"Yes, she's my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her." I answer honestly. His eyes go a little wide at that, but he quickly brings his expression back to normal again.

"Interesting, that's exactly what she said about you. This must be extremely difficult for both of you." he muses.

"Yeah, it is." I reply, "But I'm doing my best to get her as many sponsors as I can. It's all I can do, really."

"That's my goal as well. I channel all my emotions into my work, and I want to help tributes make an impression. That's why I asked for District 12." states Cinna.

"Why would you want to help us?" I ask, puzzled.

"Because you deserve it." he replies somewhat vaguely, still playing with whatever is in his hand, "She's something special, isn't she?"

"You have no idea." I answer genuinely. She doesn't see it, but she really is one in a million. If she lets you in her life, you can't help but love and admire her. I glance down and finally get a glimpse of what Cinna has been fidgeting with for a while.

"Where'd you get that?" I ask, confused. It's the mockingjay pin, the one Katniss had on yesterday.

"This?" he asks, holding it up so it's clearly visible to me. In the faint light of the city you can't tell that its gold, but you can just make out the mockingjay on it. "I found it on the clothes she came to the Remake Center in. It's her token, yes?"

"Yes, it is." I concede.

"Interesting. Is it a family heirloom?" he probes. I resist the urge to laugh at that one. If it was a family heirloom it would have been sold a long time ago for food. It's not like people from Seam have gold pins lying around besides.

"No. The mayor's daughter gave it to her at the Justice Building yesterday and insisted she wear it as her token." I inform him.

"I see." he replies, and I swear a flash of understanding goes through his eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it came. "A mockingjay's a curious thing." he tells me quietly, almost in a whisper.

"How so?" I ask, matching my voice level to his. I don't know why, but it seems like he doesn't want whatever he's telling me to be heard. Thankfully the loud wind will aid in hiding it.

"A mockingjay was never meant to exist, but it does. It's a wonderful thing to come by." Cinna whispers, staring out into the night. Well this has just left me more confused than ever. I'm beginning to like Cinna for a Capitolite, but he's still a bit strange. After a minute, Cinna snaps himself out of his daze, and turns back to me.

"Well I'm sure dinner is almost ready. Shall we go down and meet the others?" he offers politely, bringing his voice back to a normal level. I agree and follow him back down despite having a feeling that I still have no idea what this man was really talking to me about.

Cinna leads the way and as we pass through the hallway with bedrooms to the dinner table Katniss comes out of her room. Cinna gives her a smiling nod and continues and she takes her place next to me and we match our pace. She turns the corner first to where the others are waiting, but panics for some reason and pushes me back into the hall ahead of her.

"She's here. The avox." she whispers to me, the despair and panic evident in her voice and expression.

I had told her about my surprise run in with the red haired girl we didn't save one day in the woods last year at my Games. The girl was evidently running from something with a dark haired man, and instead of helping Katniss and I hid under a rock ledge. Strangely, all the birds went silent and a hovercraft appeared, and the man was immediately speared. The girl called out his name desperately before she was captured in a net and taken up. But right before the hovercraft appeared, the girl caught sight of us and was about to ask for help when it came. We could have helped them, but we didn't.

So last year on my first night here after the Opening Ceremony, I recognized her immediately when she served the table and stupidly said something about knowing her. I saw the girls eyes go wide, with the recognition of me evident in her eyes as well on top of the fear of getting in trouble for me knowing her. Effie, Haymitch, and the stylists all got mad and said that I couldn't possibly know an avox. But I did know her, and she knew me. After all, you don't forget the face of your last hope. I asked what an avox was and they told me that they were traitors that got their tongues cut out and served the Capitol. Well the word traitor could have definitely described the girl and the man with her; after all they were running from a hovercraft. But I didn't want to get myself or the avox in more trouble, especially since Effie was already annoyed at me anyway for the stunt I pulled on the train, so I lied and said that she looked like a girl from my grade at school.

The table instantly relaxed, but I was still on edge. I desperately wanted to tell Katniss right then and there, but that wasn't an option at the moment. I was in the Capitol and she was far far away in District 12, with the excruciating task of feeding both of our families while I stuffed myself with enough food for all of us as I awaited the arena. After all, wouldn't want the sacrifices to be scrawny. So I told her a few weeks after I got home, and she reacted in very much the same way I did. Guilt, horror at what the Capitol had done, as well as curiosity as to why she was running in the first place. But with all that has gone on in the last two days, I had completely forgotten about the avox girl. I'm glad Katniss saw her before either of us could do something harmful to her again.

"Let's just pretend she's not there for now. If you say something about her on top of my recognition last year they're going to be even more suspicious." I tell her quickly. If we stall here much longer the people in the other room are going to get mistrustful of what we're doing and might come over here.

"Okay." she agrees warily, "I just wish that we could apologize or something."

"Maybe when we're alone with her we can. Tonight? She can't talk but I know she can understand us." I suggest. She nods and we compose our faces before turning the corner to sit down at the table.

We have a good dinner where I proceed to stuff myself once again because I'm famished, but fortunately no one's attention is focused on me this time. Most of the conversation is centered on the Opening Ceremony still, and since I really have nothing to add to it I stay relatively quiet. More time to eat anyway. I do notice, however, that the avox girl does identify Katniss, because she does a double take and looks from me back to Katniss with a slight shake of her head. Katniss sees this as well, but she takes my advice and doesn't take notice of the avox. Instead, she gives me a pained knowing glance and focuses on her food again. Luckily no one else at the table sees the avox's expression of recognition or our silent communicative glance, and dinner ends without an awkward moment in the conversation. Once everyone is full we go sit on the couch around the television to watch a recap of the Opening Ceremony.

As the districts go by, the Careers definitely get lots of cheers and attention, but they have nothing on District 12 when it appears. In the darkening sky, the costumes of fire burn even brighter, and the cheers just get louder as it goes on and Katniss and Peeta work the crowd. I think I love Cinna right now. With his new and creative outfits, he has made Katniss memorable and wildly popular from the start. This is going to make getting sponsors so much easier, especially with Katniss pulling out that strange cheery girl act. She can win over people, I know she can. The camera zooms in on the carriage, and I frown when I see something that I evidently missed before at the actual ceremony. Katniss and Peeta are…holding hands. Like they are a team or something.

What the fuck? Tributes rarely even acknowledge each other, much less present themselves together. It's a fucking death match after all-only one comes out alive. Was this her idea? I think back to when Haymitch said that Katniss was defending Peeta's wish for getting seriously trained, and how she indicated that she would explain later. Well this better be a good fucking explanation, because this is counteractive of her chances of winning. She can't tie herself to another tribute that way, especially when she promised she would win to me and Prim. Besides the fact that I still don't know why she's helping him. If this was her idea, I'm just going to have to remind her of the exact rules of the Hunger Games. Kill or be killed; twenty-four go in, one comes out. It's not fair, but I need her to be that one, not him. She needs to know helping him now isn't going to help her.

"Whose idea was the hand holding?" Haymitch asks the question I was just seething about in my head. It seems silly, but hearing it out loud just makes me feel jealous. Yes, please tell me whose idea it was so I can rip them a new one. If I'm not allowed to show my feelings, then why the hell is Peeta of all people allowed to hold her hand? He's her competitor; I'm her best friend.

"Cinna's" the other stylist who I just learned name's Portia answers with a hint of pride. Cinna huh? I take back what I said about liking him. I fucking hate him.


	7. Save Me

"I like it. It's the perfect touch of rebellion." Haymitch replies. Rebellion? Well, I guess it is sort of rebellious to present tributes holding hands, but I still don't like it. Fine, maybe it's because I'm jealous that now everyone will think that they're together or something, but I still don't see how it's going to help her win.

I'm still internally brooding over this when Effie turns off the television. I know Katniss catches onto my mood, but it's probably a good guess that she thinks the cause is that I think that it was a bad idea to present them together. She would never pick up that it's also because I'm jealous, which I guess is for the best because that would only complicate things for her.

"Alright kids, off to bed. The grown-ups have some talking to do." Haymitch orders. I'm about to get up off the couch when I realize that means I stay. Great. I was hoping that Katniss could explain to me why the hell she's helping Peeta tonight, but I guess that will have to wait. Well, at least if I have to stay I can tell them exactly why I think Cinna's idea was fucking horrible.

They say goodnight and leave, Katniss looking like she wants to tell me something but instead gives me a weak smile. Once I hear their doors shut, I waste no time getting to the point.

"Are you nuts? How the hell is holding hands going to help!" I seethe.

"Kid what's your problem? This is going to get a shit ton of sponsors. That's what your goal is anyway right?" Haymitch retorts.

"They are the talk of the city! Everyone is curious about them because they looked like they're friends." Effie adds.

"Yes, it made quite an impression." Cinna adds quietly. I glare because I'm still pissed at him, but I'm beginning to see the point they're making. I remember back to the roof before dinner, how Cinna said that he wanted to help them make an impression. How he curiously said that he wanted our district because we deserve it. Is he honestly trying to help our district win?

"Alright so it gets sponsors." I grudgingly admit, but then point out,"So what? It's not like both of them can win."

"True. But presenting them as friends will get the initial attention she needs to win. It's only helping her kid." Haymitch explains. I'm sort of amazed that he's blatantly saying that Katniss will be the tribute winning, but no one seems the least bit surprised. I thought Portia might care seeing as she's Peeta's stylist, but she appears as unfazed as the rest of them so maybe she saw it coming. After all, it's not a secret that Katniss and I are close; it wouldn't take a genius to realize that I would want her to win. I really doubt anyone here aside from Haymitch even knows the half of what I'm willing to do to help her though. Which reminds me-my first appointment tomorrow is right after their training begins, so I should probably try to get some sleep. Besides, I don't really want to talk about this anymore anyway.

"Fine." I let out as a huff. "I'm going to bed."

I stalk off to my room and slam the door shut. Before going to bed though, I do my ritual of taking a blazing hot shower which calms me down a little and makes me feel a lot cleaner. When I have appointments, I always feel like their Capitol grim and sweat and all their other disgusting things stick to me and it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I discovered early on that the burning water helps me. I'm sure a normal shower would do the job physically, but to mentally take away the feeling, only having my skin red and a bit raw works. It's almost like I can believe that it actually burned away-it helps me sleep better. Well, slightly better because the nightmares still come.

I don't think I've had a full night's sleep since before I got reaped last year. Every time I have a nightmare I wake up in terror and most of the time I scream. My family ignored it, but I felt guilty for their exhaustion and dark eye circles because they were being awakened in the dead of night by me. So I decided that it wasn't fair to them; just because I couldn't sleep well didn't mean that the rest of them couldn't. So despite my mother's protests, I dragged a bed into the basement and my mother and siblings sleep upstairs where my screams will be muffled by two floors if they are heard at all. But being here I worry, because there isn't a basement I can hide in to not disturb the others. Haymitch deals with his nightmares by drinking himself into oblivion, but I don't know what all the more sober victors do. I should probably find out tomorrow and pray that my nightmares aren't too horrible tonight.

Fat chance of that. Katniss is aware of my nightmares, but she doesn't know the extent of it. I really don't want to let her hear me scream, especially since she needs all the sleep she can get this week. So I try to stay awake as long as I can, but utter exhaustion eventually takes over me and I slide into unconsciousness unwillingly. Of course my nightmares would feature my Games, like usual.

I survey around my target area for my snares with a slight limp, trying mostly in vain not to show the pain I still feel on my face for the cameras. I got attacked by a large bear-like muttation yesterday. I managed to kill it before it did any fatal damage, but not before it grabbed hold of my left thigh and sunk its sharp teeth in, leaving a gaping bloody bite mark the size of my hand in my leg. My wound caused me incredible agony, but I somehow managed to bring my knife to its chest and stopped its heart with three consecutive stabs before it rolled over dead. Dripping blood, I crawled over to a nearby bush for some cover before collapsing to the ground. I allowed myself a few minutes to let the relief of being alive take over me before I glanced at my thigh.

The bite was causing sharp shoots of pain to pass through my body with every slight movement, effectively taking over my complete concentration. It would be extremely difficult to focus on anything except the pain as it was, but once I actually forced myself to see the cause of my throbbing I wished I hadn't. It's a miracle that I couldn't see bone, and what was left of my skin around the raw red flesh were simply strips of skin hanging on. All I knew about medicine was what I had learned from Mrs. Everdeen, which is very little since Katniss couldn't handle it too well and pulled me out to the woods with her every time a wounded person made their way into her house. But I had been stitched up myself before by Mrs. Everdeen a few years back, and I know that my current wound will require stitches if I want to live. But I don't have a needle or thread, and I'm not sure I would have the willpower to do it to myself in any case. So for now I try to sit up and hold my mostly clean t-shirt to stop the blood until I can come up with a better solution.

After what seems like hours but was probably only about ten minutes, a parachute glides its way down and lands a few feet from me. I open it quickly, and to my relief find not only a needle and thread but some sort of liquid which I'm assuming is disinfectant, all wrapped up in a large white bandage. This disinfectant stuff must have been really expensive, so I'm sort of surprised to get it. Do I really have that many sponsors? Well, now that I have no excuse not to help my wound, I grit my teeth and sloppily stitch my scraps of skin together, making sure to use a generous amount of the disinfectant as I go. It fucking hurt like hell and I really didn't want to do this to myself, but I had to. After I was finally done and bandaged up, I rolled myself into the bush for a pitiful amount of cover and rested, knowing I still wouldn't be able to move easily.

That was yesterday. This morning I looked at my wound and to my surprise it was healing nicely into a scab already. Must have been some kind of miracle medicine, but it still hurts like hell. But it's not undoable to move around, so I need to get moving on these Games. I don't want it to be a repeat of yesterday's slow day and have another mutt or something sent after me for entertainment. And one way to mostly guarantee that is a cannon or two as horrible as that sounds.

I'm setting up snares near the Career base in hopes to ensnare someone. My plan is to hide in one of the nearby trees, and when they trigger my snare and are helplessly dangling there, I would quickly make them a booming cannon. After setting up three snares, I shakily and painfully made my way up a birch tree several yards away and sit down on a branch about thirty feet up to wait for my prey. God, I hated using the word prey for humans, even if they are Careers. But I had to come home a Victor, so I tried not to show that it bothered me-looking like I hated killing would not get me sponsors. After waiting a few minutes, I was rewarded with a scream and quickly made my way down the tree to see who had been caught in my trap. Like I wanted, it was a Career; one of the girls, I think from District 4. But as I was silently walking over with my knife in hand, I heard another scream from behind me and my panic rose. This voice I recognized-Katniss.

I whip my head around and see her in another Career's grasp, with his knife at her throat and her attempting in vain to pull his hand away from her. The Career boy was laughing as well as the girl in my snare behind me.

"So what are you going to do, 12?" the boy holding Katniss snickered, "You kill her; I kill your precious girlfriend." he smiled menacingly at me and pushed the knife even closer to Katniss's neck. I falter, dropping my own knife in surrender. They know that they have me caught, and I have a feeling that this will be the death of me. But I refuse to be the cause of Katniss's death. The Careers begin laughing at me again, and I lock eyes with Katniss. To my surprise, she's angry.

"What are you doing? You promised me you would win any means necessary!" she yells, no longer struggling in the Career's grasp.

"I'm not going to let you die!" I shout back bewildered. I feel arms come around me, holding me in place so that I have to watch. I struggle, but I can't seem to move. In response to my statement, she gives me a serious and knowing look, a sad glint in her eyes.

"You can't save me, Gale."

With that, she closes her eyes in defeat as the knife begins to cut her.

"No!" I scream, waking myself from my nightmare. I sit up and clench at my sheets, trying in vain to calm down my breathing enough so that I'm not gasping for air. My head is spinning in agony and despair, and the horrible line keeps repeating itself. You can't save me, Gale.

Fuck that was a horrible nightmare. It played on my biggest fear at the moment, and made me watch it play out with stunning clarity. I've always wanted to keep her safe. Ever since we became hunting partners, I helped her not starve. My desire to save her grew last year when Snow threatened to kill her if I didn't agree to being sold to Capitolites. But now especially, when it's so dangerous for her. She's going into the Games, and I have this desperate need to save her. So much so that I am willing to do anything at all, no matter the consequences to myself to do it. I love her, and I don't believe that I can live without her ever again. Seeing her like that, helpless to save her from death is my worst nightmare. And her telling me I can't save her just made it worse. My heart is still going a mile a minute, my breath catching every time I repeat the line to myself.

"You can't save me."

"You can't save me, Gale."

"You can't save me."

No. I have to save you. I will save you if it's the last thing I do. Seconds later the door busts open. It's Katniss, and she's panting, a worried expression plastered on her face.

"Gale! What's wrong? I heard you screaming." she frantically asks as she comes over to my bed. Shit, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Now I'm taking sleep away from her, taking away even that advantage in the Games. You can't save me, Gale. No, push away that thought. It's only going to make it worse.

"It was just a nightmare." I tell her, attempting to not let her see that my breathing is still uneven. But having hunter's senses, she picks up on it anyway.

"It must have been a really bad one. You've been screaming for the past few minutes." she informs me with concern, sitting down on the edge of my bed and placing her hand on top of mine. "What was it about?"

I really hate to feel vulnerable and actually talk about my fears. But this is Katniss-the only person in Panem I can be myself with. Plus her stubbornness will shine through and she will refuse to go back to bed until I comply.

"I was in the arena. I had that Career girl in my snare but then you were there being held with a knife to you by another boy, and he said that he would kill you if I killed the girl. So I put my knife down but they were going to make me watch them…kill you. I couldn't do it. I woke up before they could." I say, not telling her the worst part. You can't save me. I glance up at her and she gives me a look of compassion and understanding.

"Watching was bad. When I watched you in the Games last year, I felt so helpless." she confesses to me, "I..I couldn't save you. That was the worst part; I couldn't do anything." she continues, and in the moonlight I see a tear beginning to run down her face. I cup her cheek in my palm and wipe the tear away with my thumb, staring into her worried grey eyes so much like my own.

"I'm safe. And you're going to be safe too. Promise." I declare, and pull her to me. She readily comes, curling up on the bed next to me, and we stay like that for a long time in silence. We hold each other and will ourselves to believe my promise. My fear ebbs every few minutes inside my head, and I fight it internally. It almost seems to be mocking me now.

"You can't save me."

I think of the time that you twisted your knee in the woods and I helped you then, carrying you all the way home. It was barely a year after we met but I couldn't leave you there. I couldn't just not help you. I saved you.

"You can't save me, Gale."

Snow threatened to kill you if I didn't do appointments last year. I would never let him kill you for something I did or didn't do. Even if I'm too chicken to actually tell you what I have to do or that I'm keeping him from killing you because of me in the first place. I saved you then.

"You can't save me."

I think of your too near in the future Games, how if I can't save you I might as well die too. I won't live without you, so both of us have to live-for us, for our families. There is no other option.

"You can't save me."

No. I can save you. I will. I think forcefully as I push away the fear as hard as I can while subconsciously pulling Katniss in even tighter as I do so, wishing I stay just like this forever. Where we're both safe and together-like it should be.


	8. Guilt

When I wake up in the morning, the sun is already brightly shining and my muscles feel stiff. After all, sleeping sitting up is not the most comfortable position. But interestingly enough, I don't remember having any bad dreams after falling back asleep. In fact, I didn't dream at all; much better than nightmares anyway. Then I realize that Katniss is gone, and I look at the clock which reads 9:32 AM. Wow, I really slept in late-no wonder Katniss is gone, the first day of training starts in a little less than half an hour. I instantly feel guilty for not being up since I'm her mentor, then remember that I woke her up in the middle of the night as well and took away some of her sleep. Not to mention since we fell back asleep sitting, she's probably sore for training. Wow, some mentor I am. Really, I should get an award for worst first year mentor ever. I hope Haymitch at least is awake and making up for my lack of helping at the moment. Well damn it's really bad if I'm counting on Haymitch of all people to be the good mentor.

I slowly get out of bed and attempt to stretch out my stiff neck and muscles. Doesn't do much, but I'll live. I go to the enormous closet and pick an outfit to change into, not really caring what I put on because I know I'm just going to be changing again very soon. Walking out to the dining room, I hear voices coming from the table, Haymitch's loud guffaw unmistakable. Good, at least he's up to mentor since I'm doing such a poor job. I turn the corner and freeze when I see the table. Haymitch, Katniss, and Peeta are there like they should be, but there's an extra guest at the table who should definitely not be there-Jullus.

"Well look at that! Sleeping beauty finally decided to wake up. Some mentor you're turning out to be." Haymitch acknowledges me with a chuckle. Wanna talk about bad mentors? Look who's talking. But at the moment he has a point; he's the one that's been out here while I've been asleep.

"Sorry. Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask Katniss. She really should of, I feel horrible that I'm being less than helpful to her with anything besides getting sponsors.

"Because you needed sleep." She answers curtly, giving me a knowing glance. Great, now that she knows how awful my nightmares are she's sacrificing her own help to help me. I really need to find out how other Victors deal with their nightmares so I can actually be a mentor.

"You still should have woken me up." I retort as I sit down at the table to which she rolls her eyes at me, as I am doing my best to not glare at Jullus. Is he fucking crazy, I don't need my appointment manager here where the others can see him! They're going to find out what I'm doing. Hell, why did Haymitch even let him in? This is not going to help hide my duties from Katniss or even Peeta for that matter. If either of them find out I'm screwed-it would be awful if Katniss found out, and I'm guessing if Peeta did he would tell her. Haymitch realizes exactly why I'm uneasy, and explains himself.

"Don't worry kid, I got her covered. By the way, this is Jullus, our Sponsor Organizer." He says, gesturing to Jullus. I do my best not to snort at that explanation. Sponsor Organizer huh? Yeah, I guess that's one way to put it.

"Nice to meet you, Gale. I will be keeping track of the sponsors you find as well as taking you to events for potential sponsors. The first is a brunch at 10:30, so we will be leaving as soon as your tributes leave for training." Jullus explains. Oh, I get it now. He's going to tell them I'm simply going to parties and social meals to get sponsors. Better than the truth anyway.

"Alright." Is all I reply with a sighing shrug. I can't really think of a better way to hide my appointments at the moment, so I guess this is the way to go for now. I'm still uneasy that Katniss now knows who Jullus is, but not much I can do about that at this point.

After a few minutes, Effie comes in a bit flustered and says that Katniss and Peeta have to go downstairs immediately for training before they're late. When they get up, I pull Katniss to the side. I may have failed miserably at being a mentor thus far this morning, but I can at least tell her something before training quickly.

"What did Haymitch tell you?" I ask her. Or maybe I should have asked did Haymitch tell you anything to begin with? Nah, he would have-he knows how important this is to me despite my horrible mentoring thus far.

"He told me to stay away from archery and play down my skills until the private training session." she replies.

"That's good." I tell her, "Let the other tributes underestimate you. Surprise them with a high training score and they won't know how you got it." Last year I didn't hide my archery skills in training, though I did hide my ability for making snares. There was a bow in the Cornucopia, but the Careers took it before I could get there because they knew I wanted it. It pissed me off to no end and I can't help but think how much easier winning would have been had I had that damn bow.

"How do you know I'm going to get a high score?" she scoffs. In response I roll my eyes at her.

"Please. You're going to get a better score than I did. Just don't use a bow at training like me so the Careers won't take it because they don't want you to have it." I advise her. Effie begins to tap her foot and is frantically saying that they're going to be late. Katniss gives me a quick hug and gives me an amused smirk.

"Alright. Have fun at that brunch. I know you're going to have a great time." she teases me as she walks to the elevator. She knows that I hate anything to do with Capitolites, especially if I have to be nice to them. If only she knew what I was really going to be doing-that I really hate. I watch her get in the elevator with Effie and Peeta when I notice something strange. She and Peeta are dressed in matching outfits. Seriously, Cinna? He's taking this togetherness thing a bit far. The sponsors aren't even going to see them at training, since it's closed to the public. This twins act he has going on has got to stop-it's going to bite them in the ass eventually. And I plan on telling him so the very next time I see him. Once the elevator closes I go back over to the table where Haymitch and Jullus are still sitting.

"Sponsor Organizer?" I say with an eyebrow quirked, still uneasy about them knowing who Jullus is. Couldn't he have just waited for me downstairs?

"Well we figured since you want to hide it from her, this was the best way kid." Haymitch tells me once he's finished taking a swig of his drink.

"Did you really have to come up here though? I mean, now they know who you are and they could get suspicious." I say warily.

"I wasn't going to come up, but Haymitch told me to. He thought that Katniss and Peeta knowing who I was would be better than you sneaking off without an excuse. It makes the cover story more believable if there's a face to it." Jullus explains. Oh, I guess that could make sense. If I tried to just disappear Katniss at least would get suspicious, but with Jullus here she at least thinks she knows what I'm doing.

"I guess that's a better plan than I could come up with." I concede. "Any chance that we're actually going to a brunch?" I ask jokingly, knowing that's wishful thinking on my part. I may hate Capitolites and parties, but considering the alternative I'd take it any day.

"Sorry, I wish I could tell you yes." Jullus answers regretfully, "We'll be leaving here shortly, so if I were you I would eat fast." I nod and stuff myself with as much food as I can in the next ten minutes before I go change into nicer clothes.

On the way down to the waiting car I remember that I have four appointments today. Awesome.

"You said I have four today. How am I going to hide it from her if I'm going to be gone all day? No one's going to believe that a brunch lasted until night." I ask Jullus with concern.

"I know. You will have two appointments and be back before training ends, and have the other two after dinner." He informs me. Well I guess that's one way to do it. Not going to be fun, but it wasn't going to be anyway.

"What am I going to say I'm doing after dinner?"

"Parties. And that's not actually a bad lie, because there are potential sponsor parties going on. We will just dress you up for one to leave the floor and then I will give you your real clothes once we get downstairs to change into." Jullus replies. Wow, he's really got this whole cover thing down pat. I nod, and walk out the door to the car.

"I have the same appointment schedule for you for the next two days as well, two during training and two at night. But I still think that you should slow it down." He voices after a few minutes.

I sigh, "You know I can't do that."

"I'm just concerned. You will soon find out that this is going to be exhausting, and you won't have much time to sleep. It's going to make it incredibly difficult to hide it from her." Jullus warns me, willing me to cancel a few appointments. But I can't-I won't. Not if it means losing sponsors.

"I'll manage." I assure him. He gives me a defeated look but doesn't say any more about it for the rest of the ride, knowing it's futile to try to persuade me right now.

When I get back from my first two appointments, I'm happy to see that training hasn't ended yet. So I take my time in my burning shower ritual and stretching out my even sorer muscles, and go out to the couch to wait for their return. I somehow manage to fall asleep on the couch though that was not my intent; though I guess it's for the best since Jullus assures me that I won't be back until probably 2 AM at the earliest. And I don't plan on missing breakfast tomorrow morning again so I can actually be a mentor, so I can use all the rest I can get.

When I wake up I curse myself because it's almost time for dinner, and I missed Katniss coming back. Strike two for Panem's worst mentor. To make up for it, I go to her room in hopes that she can at least tell me about the first day of training quickly.

I knock on the door and enter, and find that she's sitting on her bed eating a snack.

"Hey Catnip."

"Hey." she smiles.

"How was training?" I ask her, sitting down on the edge of the bed and facing her.

"Fine I guess. I learned new things and avoided archery, but I got weird looks from the Careers when I went to the knot-tying station." she informs me.

"Why?" I ask, perplexed.

"I...I think that since they knew that you won your game with snares, they expect me to be good as well." Katniss replies, "I think they might be catching on to me playing down my skills. But you're the one good at snares, not me." she frowns. Great, not only am I a bad mentor, but the other tributes will catch onto her training strategy because she's my best friend and they think she can do whatever I can. Strike three for the worst mentor ever.

"Well you can't let them catch on then." I declare, "Besides, your better at archery, and that's what you're really avoiding."

"True, but don't you think that if they think I'm playing down my snares that I'm avoiding a bow for a reason?" she asks. I really don't know what to say to that. I mean, it's very possible that they could catch on if they're watching her. With six Careers, they could easily keep track of where she goes if they wanted to.

"Well, you have to be better at tying snares then. Tie a really good one so they don't catch onto the rest of your strategy." I tell her.

She scoffs at that, "Yeah I'll get right on that. What am I supposed to do, have you go down to training in disguise of me?"

"No." I retort, rolling my eyes at the thought of anyone believing I was a sixteen year old girl. "It wouldn't take a lot I bet. Just one complicated snare would do the trick. I could teach you a fairly simple one that looks impressive." I suggest.

"Would it take long to learn?" she asks, warming up to the idea.

"I could probably teach it to you in an hour." I reply, hoping we actually have that kind of time before dinner. I won't have time after because of my 'parties'.

"Okay." she agrees, and looks around for something to tie. But there's really not anything-no rope, no wire in this huge room. Finally, I catch sight of the decoration on the bed spread. On the lining of the comforter is a thing decorative cord. Well, it's not like we have a lot of options, and I'm pretty sure they change the bedding every day here. And the only people that will see it are avoxes, who couldn't tell them it was us anyway. So I order a steak from the food tablet because it comes with a knife and use it to start cutting off the bedspread cord.

"What are you doing?" Katniss questions me, her concern and panic evident. She doesn't want to get in trouble, but I really don't care.

"I'm getting something for you to tie. Do you see any other options?" I ask rhetorically, knowing that there aren't any. She doesn't reply, so I continue cutting until I have a sizable piece. I hand it to her and for the next 45 minutes teach her the snare. She gets frustrated easily by it, but by the time we're done she can make it almost passable for a correct snare.

"Close enough for now. It doesn't have to be right, it just has to be good enough for the others to think it is." I tell her. She still looks unsatisfied though, so I know she's going to practice more tonight after dinner.

We are about to go out to the dining room for dinner when the red haired avox comes in, presumably to take Katniss to dinner since she's late. Her eyes go wide when she sees both of us and she turns to leave.

"Wait!" Katniss cries, trying to get to her before she goes out the door. She does, and closes the door and faces the avox, blocking her only exit. I come to Katniss's side and see that the avox looks a bit terrified.

"We just wanted to say we're sorry." Katniss whispers to her, knowing that we're really not allowed to speak to avoxes unless it's to order them to do something.

"We should have helped you." I add. In response, the avox girl shakes her head. She puts her hand to her mouth and then points to both of us. I think she's saying that we shouldn't have helped her because it just would have resulted in both of us in her situation as well.

"We're still sorry." I protest. She gives us a small smile in thanks, and Katniss moves away from the door to let her out. We stare at her quick steps down the hall, thinking about what just happened. We may have said we were sorry, but it doesn't help the guilt much.

"Well, at least we got to apologize." I say bitterly after a minute, shrugging as I do so. Katniss sighs and nods in agreement, but I know she wishes she could do more. I wish we could do more as well, but it's too late now; it's not like we can give the avox her tongue back. So with our guilt only slightly lifted off our shoulders, we go to dinner and join the others who have no idea of the connection we have to the avox girl serving us. At least we can keep that a secret-a small payment for the girl we didn't save.


	9. Silent Conversing

We eat dinner and I go change into party clothes while Jullus tells the table about this fake party I'm going to, coming up with the most random details. Since he said that there actually are parties though, I'm guessing he just did his research and is describing one of them. I come out feeling ridiculous in my light blue tux, which Katniss tries to hold back a laugh about by covering her mouth. I roll my eyes at her so she knows that I don't approve of the apparel, and follow Jullus out after saying goodnight. When I get downstairs, Jullus hands me my real clothes for the evening and I change and follow him out to the car to my appointments.

I end up coming home much later than expected, at 4:15 AM, too exhausted to even take my burning shower. I simply shrug my clothes off and set my clock for eight so I can be at breakfast. It's a good thing I took that nap earlier, because I don't think I could have made it through tonight without it. But I didn't get a chance to ask another Victor how to deal with the nightmares. Well, I just hope I don't scream tonight. With that wish in mind, I willingly and easily slip into unconsciousness, praying for a dreamless night.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

What the fuck? I frantically wake up, my eyes burning from the lack of sleep. Oh, it's just the alarm clock. I turn it off, and drag myself out of bed. I change into something from the closet, not even paying attention to what I'm wearing but take a glance in the mirror before leaving. Shit I look awful. I have dark bags under my eyes and my hair is still mussed because I didn't bother taking a shower before sleeping. Which means of course that I also feel dirty without burning the Capitol grime away. But I don't have time for one now so I splash cold water on my face and comb my fingers through my hair. Better, but not great. Knowing that I'm not miraculously going to find energy or make myself look any better, I walk out to the dining room in a half daze. Naturally Katniss would notice what I tried in vain to hide.

"Gale, you look exhausted!" she claims when she takes me in. No shit.

"Couldn't sleep." I tell her vaguely, hoping she will just think its nightmares again. And that is part of it, but I didn't actually wake up last night from any. No, it's my quadrupled appointments and getting home so late that's causing this. But I can't stop-I won't. It's just for a few more days anyway that I have to do this, because once the Games start mentors have a respite on appointments until their tribute is dead or back a Victor. And Katniss isn't dying, so it's going to be a while before my next appointment after they do. I have to take advantage of these awful appointments I have to do in next couple days to get sponsors out of them. I feel like it's the only thing I can do to help.

"Oh." she replies in a way in which anyone else at the table would take as her accepting my explanation, but I know better. Her eyes are telling me that she's not buying it, that there's something I'm not elaborating on. And she's right, but I can't let her catch on-harder said than done in our case. One of the few disadvantages of our relationship is that it's extremely difficult to hide anything from each other, especially when we want to so badly. And I desperately don't want her to know what the real cause of my exhaustion is, so that only makes her more suspicious. Great. Hopefully I can find a way to help my exhaustion or at least keep our conversations away from the topic.

The conversation is luckily dropped and we continue to eat breakfast while Haymitch talks to Peeta and occasionally Katniss on training today. I try to pay attention so I can put in my own advice, but I'm going in and out of focus too often because of my lack of sleep the past few days that I don't say much. Effie eventually takes them to training, and I drop my fork and close my eyes as I lean back into the comfortable chair, hoping for a little more sleep before I leave in about half an hour.

"Gale I think you need to drop at least one appointment. You're lack of sleep isn't going to help hide it from Katniss nor help get sponsors." Jullus almost begs.

"No, I can do it. It's only a few more days." I insist stubbornly, not even bothering to open my eyes. When did these chairs get so soft? I could fall asleep right here.

"Well you at least need to seem awake. Hmm, I'll be back in a minute." Jullus sighs, and I barely register the chair pulling out before I slip into a half consciousness. After a minute I feel a shaking and force my eyes open. I would be annoyed at the interruption if I wasn't so damn tired. Or at least have glared at whoever is waking me up, but instead I don't do anything but look to see who my interrupter is. In front of me is Jullus, with some type of green wrapped food bar.

"Here eat this. It's called an Awake bar; it will help. It gives you energy for up to five hours instantly." Jullus says as he hands me the bar. I slowly rip it open and take a small bite.

Almost immediately after swallowing, I feel so much better. I feel focused, aware and actually pretty good. Damn, this thing is fucking amazing. I scarf down the rest of the bar quickly and feel good as new. Even better, I feel like I could run ten miles without stopping and not even be tired at the end.

"This is great! Why didn't you tell me about these before?" I ask him, excited about this new discovery. I can just eat these for the next few days and never get tired. I can hide the exhaustion and the appointments from Katniss, and I could probably even take on another appointment. Not that I would enjoy it; I just have the energy to do so and I could get more sponsors.

"They're dangerous if you eat them too often." Jullus warns me. "Really, they are just for an emergency; if you take more than one per day your evident crash once it wears off will be even stronger."

"Okay." I reply to pacify him, but I really don't feel like following that advice. I mean, if I just take them until I don't have to anymore, then I can avoid the crash before the interview day when I can sleep. I'm tough; I'll be fine.

When it's time for dinner that night, I'm actually feeling pretty good. That could be because I ate another Awake bar when the other one started wearing off, but I personally believe it's because of the list Jullus gave me about an hour ago. On it were a list of sponsors which I had to sign for to seal the deal, and I couldn't believe how many there were. Not only were there the names from the last few days of my appointments, but plenty more that I had nothing to do with. And all of them want to sponsor Katniss, the Girl on Fire. I don't even care that I still have to do my appointments tonight and the next few days; just seeing this list has given me the boost I'll need to get through, to know that all this work is actually paying off. So with my mood uplifted, I actually listen to the dinner conversation and even join in some myself.

"…and the girl from 2, I think her name is Clove, is amazing at knifes. I swear she never misses her target." Katniss continues as she and Peeta tell us what the other tributes skills seem to be. It's good for Haymitch and I to know this information while we are mentoring because it could give us the upper hand in what to send them, and who to look out for. Since we can see what all the tributes are doing at all times in the mentor room, it will help us know what could be coming. Not that we're allowed to send the hints or notes in the arena because that would be cheating, but it will help us nonetheless. In Katniss and I's case, we know each other so well that we wouldn't need notes anyway. I could send her something that would look random to anyone watching, but she would know exactly what I meant by it. For instance, I could send a parachute which contains a cup of beef stew. To all of Panem it would just be beef stew-to her it would be a message that someone from District 10, who raise cattle, is near her and she should be prepared.

"And then there's the little girl, the one from District 11. She's been following us around." Peeta continues to tell us about training with.

"She probably doesn't know what else to do. Most twelve-year-olds don't. It's best to just let her be. " Haymitch advises before kicking back his drink to finish it so that he can refill it again. I think back to the reaping, how awful it was when that little girl got up to the stage. How no one volunteered for her like Katniss did for Prim. I take a glance at Katniss, and see her avert her eyes from Haymitch as he says to let the little girl be. She looks up and I can tell exactly what she's thinking. I know that look-it's a look of compassion, but it also shows me she's planning something.

"Katniss." I say with a warning tone. I know exactly what she wants to do. She wants to be allies with that little girl. She wants to protect her because she reminds her so much of Prim. But she can't do that, not if she's going to win. I know she would protect that girl over herself because that's the kind of person she is, and she promised she would win. No, she needs to stay far away from that girl.

She meets my glare, and gives me a look of pity. I can almost hear the words she isn't saying-But she's only twelve, she's so much like Prim. She doesn't have anyone to help her. Why can't I help her?

In response, I give her my own silent pained look. You know why. You promised Prim and me you would win. Helping that little girl will not help you at all. Remember my games? Jacob, the thirteen year old from District 8 was the worst death for me to handle because I cared too much. I cared because he reminded me of Rory. You don't want to help her because her evident death will be even harder.

Well she will probably be a bloodbath anyway. Why can't I at least help her in training? Her challenging eyes ask me.

Yeah, that's what I said about Jacob. Just stay away from her. I see her falter at my look of confidence and I know I'm winning this battle (which is a rarity in itself-she almost always wins these kinds of things). I give her a slight smirk which she gets mad at, but she knows it's because I know I've won. She won't help that little girl, because I just gave her a foolproof example of why it's a bad idea.

"Fine." Katniss says out loud with a huff, and goes back to eating her food.

"Um what just happened?" Peeta asks, alternating between giving me and Katniss confused looks.

"What do you mean what just happened?" I question in confusion. I look around the table, trying to see if anything is oddly out of place. Instead I find every face at the table staring at Katniss and me.

"You two looked like you just had a conversation without talking." Jullus explains the table's confusion with. Shit. Katniss looks up at me, and I can tell that she looks a little embarrassed. Yeah, I guess it would be weird to see us converse without words. When we hunt we don't want to scare off the animals so we have almost perfected knowing what the other is feeling and usually thinking. But we aren't in the woods, nor are we in District 12; we're in the Capitol, at dinner with other people. Who most likely think we are the strangest people they have ever met right now. In response to the explanation, I just shrug it off and focus on my food again with the hope that everyone else follows suit. It's not like anyone's going to understand anyway, and I really don't have an explanation that will sound good to any of them.

The table follows my example, but the conversation is mostly nonexistent after that because the whole table feels awkward at Katniss and mine's silent conversing. Luckily dinner was almost done anyway, and I follow Katniss to her room afterwards.

"We really shouldn't do that anymore. Not in front of the others." Katniss suggests once the door's closed.

"Sorry I'm just used to it." I say, because I really don't have any other excuse.

"I know me too." she sighs, "Did you help that little boy in training last year."

I swallow before I answer. I really don't want to think about Jacob right now, because I feel so guilty that I didn't save him. But I did what I had to do. "No. I wanted to but I thought he would die the first day so I tried to stay away. If I had it would have been even worse."

"Oh." she says. "Well I guess I can't stop her from following us around. I'll try not to pay attention to her." she changes the subject with, knowing it's a difficult thing for me. Wait, there's that us again, which reminds me. Why the fuck is she helping Peeta?

"Why are you helping Peeta? You don't owe him anything, and it's just going to make it as hard as the little girl when he dies." I say.

"I..I do owe him actually." she tells me guiltily, and I realize she's been hiding something. I give her a look that says explain and she continues with a deep breath.

"It was a few months after the mine explosion. We were starving and I was sitting outside the bakery, defeated. Peeta burned bread on purpose and gave it to me, though I don't know why. His mother even hit him for it. That bread saved my life. It gave me hope, and the next day I remembered that I could get things to eat in the woods. That I could hunt and gather." she explains, her face an expression of pain and guilt.

"Katniss," I reply, my voice softening as I cup her cheek in my hand, "Owing him doesn't mean you have to help him at all costs. You promised Prim you would win-you promised me. Helping him is not going to help you."

"But how am I supposed to pay him back then? It's not like I have many other options here." she reminds me, exasperated. She hates owing people as much as I do. Hell, as much as anyone from Seam. I understand why she's doing it, but this is the Hunger Games; only one person can come home. Repaying a debt in a death match is kind of crossing the line, even for someone like us. There are other things she can do to repay him.

"Just…tell him thank you I guess. It's something at least." I offer as an alternative.

"Alright." she sighs after a minute, "It's not enough, but it's all I'll ever get to do."

I give her a pained smile back, and leave to change for my appointments tonight. At least now I know why she's been helping Peeta. I just hope she does what I say and leaves that baggage behind when she goes in. That will be one less distraction for her, and one less complication for me as a mentor. And neither of us need any other distraction or complication-hell, we have enough of our own without adding more.


	10. Proud

As I slowly open my eyes, the first thing I register is that the sun is brightly shining out the window. When did that happen? The last thing I remember was coming home in the car with Jullus after my appointments, and he was talking about some kind of special appointment I have tonight. Now I'm in my room in the Training Center, and the sun is shining bright. I look at the clock-2:17 PM. Fuck. It's the last day of training and I didn't get a chance to see Katniss today before it. And it was important for me to see her today of all training days, because of the private session today. I didn't even get to warn her that the bows there are not like ours at home; they have tighter strings and the feathers are straighter on the arrows, so she would need to adjust her aim a little. And since she hasn't used one all week because she was advised to stay away from archery, she won't know and will be pissed that she misses. Some mentor I am.

Groaning, I get up out of bed and take a burning hot shower before changing and going to grab something to eat. I can't believe Jullus didn't wake me up-I've missed my first two appointments, and that means I've lost sponsors. Hell, I don't even know how I ended up back in the Training Center. What the fuck happened? Well, only one way to find out. Hopefully Jullus or Haymitch happen to be in the dining room or even on the floor so I can ask.

"What the hell happened?" I ask Jullus when I find him reading something on the couch, some special about this year's tributes on the television that he's not really watching. I hate this feeling that I have no idea what's going on, especially if it involves me not knowing how I got somewhere. It is vital for me to not miss something important, and I've already done that.

"How many Awake bars did you have yesterday? Be honest." Jullus asks me instead of answering the question.

"Uh…three I think." I reply with a shrug.

"Remember that I told you they were just for emergencies, and having too many at one time will cause a stronger crash once they wear off?" He asks in almost a warning tone. Shit I get it now. I didn't eat another one once the third started wearing off so I fell asleep in the car. Which means that I did this to myself, left Katniss without a mentor because of my stupidity. I feel really guilty and ashamed. My face falls.

"I think it's time to stop taking the Awake bars." he suggests. I think I might actually listen to his advice this time. I can't afford to be a horrible mentor anymore to Katniss if I miss the most important day and two appointments for sponsors.

"Fine." I concede grudgingly, "You could have woken me up for my appointments though. Now I have two less sponsors."

"I tried." Jullus tells me with raised eyebrows, "You were dead to the world and I couldn't even shake you awake. The bars have that effect if you eat too many."

"Oh." I reply. I hate that I missed the opportunity for sponsors, but I do actually feel a lot better. Probably because I got a solid twelve hours of sleep. I don't think I've ever slept that long before, especially after my Games. Guess I've found one surefire way to deal with the nightmares-not that I want to repeat it here. Katniss will need me to be a real mentor until we go home from the Games, and I can't be to be dead to the world if I'm going to do it.

"Well, to make up for the lost appointments, I have one very special appointment tonight." Jullus exclaims.

"What is it?" I ask warily though I vaguely remember talking about it last night. Capitolites and I have very different definitions of special I've found. For all I know' special' here could mean that I would have an appointment with two women at the same time. Disgusting.

"It's not so much a sponsor opportunity as an important opportunity to help Katniss in the Games." He continues and I perk up at that. Oh really? Well that's even better than a sponsor.

"It's one of the Gamemaker's daughter's birthday, and as a present she wanted an appointment. This particular Gamemaker is in charge of all the muttations in the Arena." He tells me excitedly. He's right; this is a great opportunity. If I can make a deal with this girl that the mutts won't go after Katniss, that will help her immensely. Having first-hand experience with a mutt on a slow day in the Arena, I could only be grateful for this opportunity to spare her that pain and extra stress and time. It could very well be the difference between her life and death. Yes, I'm going to make a deal with this girl to keep the mutts away from Katniss-I really don't care what it takes. It's not like the Capitolites can do anything worse to me than they already have in appointments.

"How'd you pull that one off?" I ask Jullus. I really don't care how he did it, but I'm really glad he did. Jullus really isn't a bad guy.

"Some connections I have. It's your only appointment today, and we will be leaving after the Private Session Scores are announced." He explains. Well I guess you would have to have connections for his job. I'm just lucky one of them is so vital for Katniss and that I can put it to good use. And I can't say that I'm not happy I only have one appointment. Sure, I'm losing sponsors, but when I pull off the no mutts after her thing it will all be worth it. Plus I get to spend more time with Katniss this way. Win-win situation.

While I'm waiting for her to return from the Private Sessions, I sit down and eat with Haymitch, who strides in about twenty minutes after I start eating. I hadn't really thought about it before, but what the hell does Haymitch do with all his free time? It's not like he has appointments to go to, and he's usually a less than helpful mentor anyway. Drinking bar maybe? Not necessary since there's plenty of alcohol on our floor, but he could be catching up with some of the other Victors. I know for a fact that one of his favorite drinking friends is another Victor from District 11; Chaff I think? Perhaps he goes to 11's floor. Unfortunately Haymitch interrupts my musings when he sits down, so I don't have the focus for more guesses.

"So missed your appointments this morning I see. Told ya you were going to wear yerself out kid." Haymitch says while pouring himself a drink.

"I didn't wear myself out." I protest, "I had too many Awake bars and crashed." Not that this explanation is much better, but I'd hate admitting that Haymitch is right.

"Oh really? And why did ya take'em in the first place?" Haymitch replies, and laughs at my defeated, angry expression. He knows that he's right, and I just can't admit it.

"Exactly." he says with a hint of smugness and takes a long swig of his drink. Does he always have to be right? Damn I hate this guy sometimes.

I ignore Haymitch for the rest of my meal and he does the same. After about an hour Peeta comes up from his private session, and I'm actually kind of happy about it. After all, this means that Katniss should be up here in about fifteen minutes, and I haven't seen her since dinner last night.

"How'd ya do kid?" Haymitch asks Peeta when he comes in. Hmm, looks like Haymitch is actually trying to be a mentor this year. Oh well, not that he knows it matters, but at least he's showing effort for Peeta's sake.

"Fine I guess. I did what you told me, but they weren't really paying attention. Some of them were even singing a drinking song." Peeta replies with a shrug. Oh shit this is bad. Katniss is not going to take being ignored very well, especially when it's her life on the line. I'm sure I would have been the same as Peeta and they would have ignored me last year if I hadn't used a bow in training. But the advice this year was to hide their talents. I just hope Katniss shows off her skills so well that they have to look.

"Ah well. If ya don't get a good score then they will at least be surprised by you in the arena." Haymitch laughs. Well looks like Haymitch has gone back to the not so helpful mentor. I can't say that I care too much, though I still feel sorry for Peeta. After all, it isn't his fault that he got reaped with someone that I would be hell-bent on taking home alive.

"Underestimating someone can be the difference between life and death." I tell Peeta. I may not want him to come out a Victor, but I can at least make him feel a little better. It's not like Haymitch is doing a stellar job of it.

"Yeah I guess…Katniss it's only been like five minutes! What are you doing up here?" Peeta says in surprise.

I turn around and see Katniss almost in tears. She doesn't answer Peeta's question and ignores all the staring going on from everyone in the room. As soon as she gets near us, she grabs my hand without a word and pulls me to the nearest bedroom, which happens to be mine. Once the door is closed, she pulls me into a tight hug and lets her tears fall on my shirt.

"Katniss what's wrong?" I ask her with concern. This is not like her at all. All I can think is that something very bad happened down in that private session.

"Prim, my mom! Oh god, what are they going to do to them?" she cries, worry and panic evident in her voice. Alright, so she obviously did something stupid if she's worried about her family's safety.

"Katniss, what happened?" I pull her back a little and ask forcefully.

"I…I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers." she struggles to get out.

"You…what?" I ask in shock. I mean I knew she would get pissed if they weren't paying attention to her, but damn. I'm more of the rebel out of the two of us, and that's something even I probably wouldn't have done. I've got to say though, I'm kind of proud of her. Those fucking idiot Gamemakers deserve that and more.

"I just…they weren't paying attention to me. No, they had to pay attention to they're stupid pig that someone ordered. I just got so mad that without thinking I shot an arrow at an apple in the pig's mouth and walked out." she explains. I really try not to burst out laughing, because it's fucking awesome of her. Pissing off the Gamemakers may not get her a good score, but I'm sure proud of her. Unfortunately she sees that I'm enjoying this a little too much, and she hits me on the shoulder.

"This is serious Gale! What's your problem?" she asks, obviously annoyed with my reaction.

"Sorry Catnip, I can't help it. I just wish I thought of doing something like that last year." I reply honestly.

"But it was so stupid. Now they're going to do something to Prim or mom. Hell, they might arrest me or worse!"

"Katniss." I say seriously, taking her face in my hands, "You're family's going to be fine. They couldn't do anything to you or your family without talking about the private session. Private."

"Are you sure? They could still kill me now for it." she replies, clearly not convinced.

"Where are they going to get another tribute this far in?" I ask sarcastically, "The worst they can do is something in the arena." I tell her honestly. Oh great, a complication already. Now she's going to have the Gamemakers after her, it's going to be twice as hard to bring her home. But it's still happening, and I can't find it in myself to be mad at her for it. Suddenly the door opens, and Katniss and I turn to see none other than Haymitch.

"He's right sweetheart. The worst they can do is make your life a living hell in the arena. Which they've already promised to do anyway." he says. Who knew Haymitch listened at people's doors. I didn't think this was the way he seemed to know everything. It's probably not how he knows everything, but the most convenient way at the moment.

"I'll get a very low score." Katniss replies back to him. Well, she's probably right about that. But it's like what I told Peeta earlier; underestimation can work in your favor sometimes. I was hoping for a high score I know she can get because it will bring in more sponsors, but hopefully we have enough right now until she can show off her skills in the arena.

"Probably. So how'd they react when ya shot the arrow at them?" he asks, clearly enjoying this situation of getting back at the Gamemakers. I can't say I blame him. But damn, did he hear our entire conversation? He must have if he knew to ask in the first place.

"Umm a lot of them jumped or spilled their drinks. Some screamed in surprise. One man even fell into a punch bowl." Katniss describes, warming up now that she's more certain that nothing will happen to her family or her at this point in time.

In response Haymitch starts guffawing, his drink sloshing out of his cup and onto the floor as he does so. I give a small snicker, and Katniss even smiles. It really sounds ridiculous, and they totally deserved that and more. I'd kill to have actually seen it happen.

"Well ya do have spunk after all sweetheart!" Haymitch tells her, clearly amused still.

We go out to dinner after we compose ourselves, and the three of us try to avoid bringing up Katniss's private session in front of the others. We know that at least most of them will not react the way we did, laughing at the stupidity of the Gamemakers and her rebellious act. We come pretty close to that conversation but Haymitch steers it away from it by spilling his drink, effectively changing the course of the conversation. I'm actually glad that Haymitch is so helpful even though he doesn't appear to be sometimes, because I don't know if I could have gone through this alone. He may be a crazy drunk-ass, but he sure as hell knows what he's doing.

After dinner we all go sit on the couch to hear the scores be announced. The Careers get typical scores of the 8 to 10 range, with both tributes from District 2 with 10s. I knew that boy, who now I know is named Cato was going to be her biggest competition, but this just proves it. I'm a little wary that the girl from 2 got a ten as well, but as long as Katniss can stay away from her knives she will be fine. Most of the other tributes average a 5 like normal as well. District 11 pops up soon, and we see the boy, Thresh get a 10. Damn, definitely a competitor. I'm sure now that the Careers asked him to join them, but I'm also pretty sure he declined. He still worries me though, because he got an even better score than I did-I got a nine. The little girl, Rue pops up, and gets a surprising 7. Shit, what the fuck did she do? Must have been impressive for such a little kid.

Soon Peeta is up, and he comes up with a surprising 8. The room bursts into applause, because that is amazing for a non-Career. What the fuck did he do? He's a baker's son. I wasn't really worried about him before, but I am now. Lots of surprises this year it would seem. Next Katniss comes up, and she grips my hand tighter than she ever has before. I know she's nervous, because we both know that she's going to get a low score. I'm just hoping it's not a one or something, because that's sure to lose sponsors. If she gets at least a three we can play it off as she's trying to look weak on purpose. That's what one tribute did about five years back; Johanna Mason from District 7. She played the weak little girl so she would be ignored and then when it came down to the final 5 she took off that mask and became the tough girl with the surprisingly awesome murdering techniques. She won in a matter of hours after that. But any less than a three and Katniss is in trouble. I grip her hand as the score comes up.

11

My mouth drops open in shock. An eleven? Shit, that's the best score of the night! And she totally deserves it, but what about the arrow at the Gamemakers?

"Looks like they like your temper sweetheart!" Haymitch says through a laugh. Everyone else is beside themselves cheering and laughing at the same time. Well, all except Peeta, but that's to be expected.

I pull Katniss into a hug and spin her around. She laughs when I put her down, but I keep her in my arms.

"Well, that could use some improvement." I tease her, smiling like an idiot. I'm so proud of her. In response she smiles back with her eyes shining. This is more than we hoped for. This is exactly what she needed to win. And she will; this just proves it.


	11. Seal the Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter is not pretty.

After Effie turns off the television, Katniss and Peeta are sent to bed. The atmosphere still has an air of excitement to it though, so I doubt anyone is going to go to sleep for a while. In fact, I see that Haymitch is already breaking out the champagne and Cinna, Portia, and Effie look like they're actually going to join him in that celebration.

I walk Katniss to her room before I go change for that special appointment, but before she goes in she turns and gives me a hug. I eagerly return it, not that I know why she's hugging me. I really don't care either.

"Well now people at that party are going to be tripping over themselves to sponsor you." I tell her with a chuckle, knowing that I have to leave now if I'm going to get to that appointment. This is one appointment I don't intend to be late for, even though I'd much rather stay here with Katniss.

"Sure they are." she rolls her eyes with a smile, joking. But then she turns serious, "Gale…why are you going to so many parties? I know you hate them and I never see you anymore it seems." Great, now she's making me feel guilty. I really don't want to go, but I feel like I have to. And unfortunately that means leaving her and being a horrible mentor.

"Katniss, I have to. I'm getting you sponsors." I tell her with a frown.

"Couldn't you just skip one? I really don't need that many and I hate that you hate them and you're going anyway." she almost begs. Yes, I would love to skip all these damn appointments and stay with her. I would love if I was actually going to a party instead, or that I didn't even have to do appointments at all. But this appointment is so vital for me to pull off if I'm going to keep the mutts away from her that I could never skip it.

"I can't." I answer, defeated.

"Why?"

In response I take her face in my hands, looking straight into her confused and begging grey eyes. "Because it's the only thing I can do. Sponsors will help you, and I'm going to get as many as I possibly can. Please, just let me do this one thing." I'm almost pleading with her now, trying to keep how hard this is for me from her. I have to be strong for her. If I show any more weakness, she's going to think I don't believe in her. But I can't tell her the truth; not about the appointments, not that I can't live without her because I love her. But she confessed to me how helpless she felt in my Games, so hopefully she will see that I feel helpless as well and I'm doing the only thing I can think of to help her best in her Games-no matter the consequences to myself.

"Okay." she sighs, understanding why I'm doing it finally but still wishing I didn't do it. "I'll see you tomorrow then." She gives me another hug and closes the door. I grudgingly walk to my room to change, and meet Jullus at the elevator to go to my appointment.

This house is ridiculous. Seriously, it's in the middle of the city and it's almost as big as my house in Victor's Village, and it's completely painted in a bright green to boot. How rich is this fucking Gamemaker? It pisses me off that this Gamemaker is so rich because he finds ways to attack children fighting for their lives with horrible man-made beasts, but I can't let my anger rise and go on a rant now. No, I have to put on my best Capitol mask for his daughter, so I can manipulate her into promising that her father will not send the mutts after Katniss. If I can make a deal with her it could be a game changer, and I have every intention of pulling this off. I really don't care what it takes. After all, the girl is only just sixteen; how hard can it possibly be?

I knock on the door and put my best Capitol mask on, and after a minute the door opens. It's a girl with tattoos of gold stars on her cheeks and arms, and light blue hair. She's in a white dress down to her knees, and has a sweet smile on her face. This girl is sixteen? She looks like she's only fourteen at the most. In fact she looks like an angel almost, which is what I'm assuming is the look she was going for. This is going to be so easy to convince her.

"Gale! So glad that Daddy got you for my birthday!" she exclaims, "I'm Poena!"

"So nice to meet you as well." I give her a fake sweet smile, my confidence growing with every second that I'm going to pull this off. She pulls me inside, and I see a man who I'm assuming is her father the Gamemaker. He actually looks pretty normal for a Capitolite other than that his hair is purple, but I'm pretty sure all Gamemakers keep their body fashion to a minimum so that's not surprising. Poena gives her father a big hug and kisses him on the cheek before coming to grab my hand and pull me upstairs.

"Enjoy your birthday present darling!" he calls up. Alright, so even if he looks more normal he's still sick like all Capitolites. Who buys someone for their sixteen year old for sex as a birthday present? It's so fucking wrong that I want to hit someone-preferably Snow or a Capitolite. But I'm guessing this is this girl's first time, which will make it a bit awkward, but it will also make it that much easier for her to make a deal with me. Innocent people are easy to manipulate, and this girl screams innocent.

When we get up to her room, she goes over to her dresser and comes back with a wad of cash that she hands me. But I smile and give it back to her.

"Instead of that, isn't there something else you can do? I mean, it is your birthday; I wouldn't want you to be just like everyone else and give cash." I say sweetly, hoping to lead her to the idea of keeping the mutts off Katniss without actually saying it.

"Oh? What did you have in mind?" she smiles, eager to get on with the show. But I can't give in before she agrees.

"Well, you could help my tribute. She did get an 11 after all, and I can guarantee a meeting with her when she wins." I suggest, easing her into it.

"Well I could sponsor, but Daddy's a Gamemaker so I can't." she says, her face falling. Perfect, now we're getting somewhere.

"Oh, that's too bad. I just thought you would want this to be extra special." I tell her with a sighing shrug. But on the inside my hope is growing, and I'm starting to get excited. Almost there.

"Hmm. Well, Daddy is in charge of the muttations in the arena. Perhaps we could make a deal so I could be even more sure that the Girl on Fire wins." she explains, closing in on the idea I'd hope she would.

"How so?" I ask, even though I know. Don't show you're excitement Gale. That's not going to help you any.

"Well, I could tell Daddy to not let the mutts attack her." She suggests. Hell yeah!

"That sounds extra special to me. I think it's perfect." I say, smiling. But I try to hide my real smile, because this is exactly what I wanted. But she can't know that I manipulated her to this point or she might take it back.

"Alright!" she exclaims, "But I have a few conditions." Conditions? Well, I've come this far, I can't turn back now.

"And what would these conditions be, beautiful?"

"I will only guarantee that the mutts won't go after her for the first three days. If she's still alive at sunset on the third day, then you come back here for some more fun to guarantee more days." she says. Technically I wouldn't be allowed to go on appointments when the games are going on, but technically she's not supposed to make this deal with me anyway. And I can hide it with some help from Haymitch and Jullus-not that I would turn back now. This is almost too easy.

"I would love more than anything to spend more time with you. Your condition sounds great." I tell her.

"I said conditions, not condition. The other one is that I'm allowed to do anything I please with you. I did buy you after all." she continues. Oh, well that's harder to say yes to, but I'm assuming this girl has no idea what she's doing anyway. It can't be that horrible.

"We have a deal then." I tell her, and shake her hand. She giggles as I do so, more than ready to get started.

"Excellent. Now to get the show started." she exclaims. With the deal sealed, Poena drops her innocent act completely and gives something of an evil grin. Something tells me that this is really bad, that she wanted this deal to happen all along. Shit. What is she planning on doing? She pulls out some rope and begins tying my hands together.

"What are you doing?" I ask, trying not to let my panic show through my Capitol mask.

"You said anything, now shut up. Oh, and another condition, you must call me Mistress." she says icily.

Shit. She was pulling an act with that sweet girl stuff, probably for her father. There's no way she can be a sweet little girl with the voice I just heard come out of her mouth, the things she is most definitely planning. I have a bad feeling now that Poena is not a virgin after all, and has some very dark evil side to her if it's not all of her. She continues to bind my hands, and leads me to the bed, where she strips me of my clothes and ties my feet to the posts as well. Fuck what the hell did I get myself into?

"Now look at this! I've ensnared you now." Poena gives a smirk. Fuck I hate that line ensnare me more than I ever have. Never did I think it would turn around and bite me in the ass like it is now.

She gives a seductive devilish laugh as she takes off her innocent white dress, and reveals a black and red lingerie. Then she goes over to her dresser again and pulls out about five different whips, all of different sizes and shapes. Fuck.

"Now where to start?" she contemplates. "This looks good." she pulls out one that looks like a paddle, and starts spinning it around in her hand.

I try to hide my gulp as I realize I'm in for a rough night. What the fuck did I just do? I'll tell you what I just did; I just made a big fucking mistake. No, I did this for Katniss. I need the mutts to not go after her; I need to get through this for her. I feel the whip come down on my stomach hard and try not to groan in pain.

"Oh, this is going to be fun, isn't it Hawthorne?" she smiles wickedly at me. I think I just made a deal with the Devil, and her name is Poena. Those gates of hell I talked about that I said I would go to so I could bring Katniss home alive? I've arrived.

"Yes Mistress." I force out, and the whip comes down again.


	12. Out In the Open

I stumble onto the 12th floor of the Training Center after my appointment, exhausted and aching. That was by far the worst thing I have ever gone through in an appointment. I should have listened to Haymitch when he said that I didn't know what these damn Capitolites would do to seal a deal. No, I really should have seen it coming; I'm a lot more intuitive than that. But I guess I was just so focused on getting her to agree to the mutt deal and she seemed so innocent that I was blind to the truth. Never again will I underestimate a Capitolite's cruelty. I'm wincing with every step from the whip marks she gave me all over my body, trying to make it to the shower before I can't take it anymore and scream. Unfortunately on my way, I see Haymitch sitting on the couch with a drink in hand. Shit. I didn't think anyone else would be up. Luckily, he just lets me go by with an 'I told you so' smirk, and I get to my burning hot shower quickly.

I take my time in the shower, the burning water and my stinging skin not mixing too well so I have to alternate between hot and cold water. When I'm done, I step out and take a look at the damage. The red whip marks cover most of my torso and some of my back, but I think I can get away with wearing a shirt and it being invisible. Luckily none of the whips broke skin, or I'd have a whole other problem to deal with. I put on a pair of shorts and open the door, eager for the sleep I will hopefully get without nightmares, because I plan on being up early tomorrow. But when I see whose sitting on the bed, I stop short. Finnick Odair and Johanna Mason.

"Um…Hi?" I say, confused. What the fuck are they doing here this late, and in my room? They don't reply for a moment, just staring at my chest with wide eyes. I look down to see what they're staring at. Shit, I don't have a shirt on. They can see all my whip marks clearly.

"Wow you really love Katniss, don't you?" Finnick replies after a minute, still staring at my chest rather than me. Well no shit I love her. Why else would I have gone through this?

"You have no idea." I say honestly. Pretty much everything is out in the open now, there's no use hiding it from these two.

"Haymitch told us you were crazy in love, but I think you're just plain crazy." Johanna states.

"Wait, Haymitch told you?" I ask astonished and pissed at the same time. Haymitch is the reason they're up here? Fuck you Haymitch, this was supposed to be a secret.

"Don't blame him; he was worried you were going to kill yourself trying to get her sponsors." Finnick tells me in Haymitch's defense.

"Looks like he was right. You're halfway there already." Johanna smirks.

"And he sent you two up? Why?" I ask, ignoring Johanna's comment.

"Because you need help Gale. You can't do this alone, especially your first year mentoring." Finnick replies with confidence.

"Really? And how are you two supposed to help me?" I ask, perplexed. I really can't believe that they're even willing. What can they do, tell their tributes to not kill Katniss? Gee, that's not suspicious, and you can bet that they would never agree to it.

Finnick and Johanna give each other a knowing look, and nod in agreement at something. "We're going to help you help her win." Finnick replies for them. My mouth almost drops open in shock. Are they really giving up on their tributes in favor of Katniss? Why would they do that?

"You want Katniss to win over your own tributes? Why would you even help me?" I ask, astonished.

"Because we're Victors; we have to help each because no one else will. No one else understands like we do. And you, Gale, need help. You can't do this alone." Finnick replies.

"But how? You have your own tributes. And would you even know what to do to help me?" I ask, grateful that they're willing to do this but still uncertain of how they can help me.

"Our tributes are nothing special this year. Mine are bound to be bloodbaths anyway." Johanna assures me nonchalantly, rolling her eyes.

"And we've...sort of done this before. We know what to do." Finnick adds with a look of guilt in his eyes.

"You've done this before? With who?" I question curiously.

"Annie. Annie Cresta." Finnick answers almost immediately, "She won four years ago. She…I loved her-I couldn't watch her die. So I did whatever it took to help her win. Johanna even helped me. I wouldn't live without her, and we did whatever it took to make her the Victor. It's worked before, it can work again."

I get it now. It's almost like déjà vu with me and Finnick. Both of us taking on appointments to save our families. Both of us have had the girls we love reaped, and we would do anything to bring them home alive. I'm starting to feel hopeful despite myself, since it worked with his Annie. It can work again, especially if Finnick and Johanna are helping and they know what they're doing. I normally don't like accepting help, but in this case I feel like it's my best choice.

"I…Thank you." I say with relief, even though the words are strange in my mouth. I know if we pull this off I owe them big, but I really don't care. Maybe they're right; Victors got to stick together.

"No problem. Now we can't help much until our tributes die, but once they do we will help you in any way we can." Finnick says.

"Yeah, just don't kill yourself off beforehand or you won't be here when she comes back. Lay off on the violent appointments or I'll make you." Johanna orders almost viciously. Something tells me she's not kidding when she says that she'd make me, and I'm guessing it wouldn't be fun. For me at least; after all, Johanna can wickedly murder, and something tells me she would enjoy hurting me into agreement a bit too much.

I'm still a bit shocked at this turn of events, and don't say anything in response. I can't believe that they're helping me, that they're even willing to give up their tributes for me. That they would help Katniss because I can't live without her. Finnick sees my shock and comes over to me and friendly slaps my shoulder.

"Hey, Katniss is going to win. We'll make sure of it." he assures me with a smile.

I'm about to reply back when the door comes open, revealing someone who is obviously up when they shouldn't be and listening to conversations they should never be hearing. I don't know who's more shocked.

Me.

Finnick and Johanna.

Or Peeta.

The three of us just stare at Peeta for a silent minute, while he stares back at us with a surprised, loaded expression. Shit. Why did it have to be him? Why did he of all people have to hear our conversation? He now knows that other Victors are helping Katniss win, knows that I have appointments. He sees the whip marks on my body, knows just how far I'm willing to go to bring her home because I love her. Fuck, now he's going to tell Katniss, and all that hiding of the appointments is going to blow up in my face when she finds out. Not only will it be a distraction for her in the arena, but she will probably get pissed that I didn't just lie about it, but I was doing it in the first place. Fuck you Peeta.

"Umm we're just gonna go now." Finnick says awkwardly, breaking the silence. Johanna follows him out, and I'm left in the room with Peeta, who still hasn't said a word. I take advantage of the silence and slip on a shirt, hiding all visible evidence of my marks even if it stings more with the fabric rubbing against them. He still hasn't said anything, so I guess I'll start.

"You tell her a word of what you have seen and heard, I'll kill you." I threaten him. I really can't have her knowing.

He gives a small chuckle in response before he answers, "Go ahead. You've already planned my death anyway. You chose her to win before I even stepped up on stage and now you have other Victors helping you."

"True." I answer, not backing down on my stare. I need him to not tell her anything, and obviously a death threat isn't going to cut it. He's right, after all-I did choose her before he was even reaped to be the Victor. And now he knows that lots of people are helping me accomplish that goal.

"I am curious though why she doesn't know. Seeing as you two are so close, I would think that it would be difficult to hide anything from her." Peeta continues.

"It's not exactly a walk in the park." I concede grudgingly. What's it going to take to shut him up and not tell her? I'm willing to do just about anything except promise to keep him alive instead of her. Not even I will stoop that far to hide it from her, because then all this work would be completely pointless.

"I can see that." he muses.

"Alright, what's it going to take for you to not tell her?" I spit out, just wanting to get on with it so I can go to bed.

"I have a plan to help her at the interviews, seeing as I know I'm not coming out alive anyway. As long as you don't interfere with it or tell her not to go with it, I won't tell her anything." Peeta offers. Something tells me I'm not going to like this plan if he doesn't want me to interfere with it. I know he likes her, but what the fuck is he going to do?

"Something tells me I'm not going to like your little plan. Why don't you tell me what it is first?" I say.

"I really doubt you will. And does it really matter if you know? All you have to know is that it's going to work, and I won't tell her your secrets if you don't interfere." he fights back with, almost cocky now. Fuck, now I'm really curious what the hell he has up his sleeve.

"It's not going to hurt her is it?" I ask, knowing that I'm never going to get this plan out of him. But he could at least tell me that she's going to be safe.

He rolls his eyes in response, "Hardly. In fact, I'm positive it's going to get lots of sponsors. I'm sure going to enjoy it." he grins at me, knowing I have to go along anyway even though I'm not going to like it.

"Fine, we have a deal." I grudgingly agree with. He nods, and proceeds to walk out the door.

"You know, you don't have to worry really. You're going to get her in the end anyway since I'll be dead." Peeta says when he gets to the doorframe. Well damn. I can't believe he's actually telling me that he likes her when he knows how I feel about her.

"What makes you think you would have gotten her anyway? It's not like she likes talking to people." I ask, hoping to keep the scoffing tone out of my voice. He can still go back on this deal and saying it meanly might make him do it.

"I would have found a way eventually. Of course you weren't making it any easier being around all the time." he replies before studying for a moment. When he obviously decides on something he predicts to me, "You know, if you weren't her mentor, it might have worked even now when I'm the only companion she had. At least for a little while anyway. But I can't change the past, nor can I change the fact that I'm going to die soon. So I'm going to make every moment count." Peeta continues, and closes the door before I can respond.

Well, I really don't know what to make of that. At least he won't tell Katniss about my appointments or anything. But I know for sure that I'm going to fucking hate what he plans to do in the interview, especially if I can't say or do anything to counteract it. Oh well, guess I'll find out in a few days what this new complication is. I wince as I slide into bed, and slip into unconsciousness much quicker than I expected.

I wake up in the morning and go to breakfast, for once on time. Everyone is here, and since its mentoring day for the interviews, I don't have to go on an appointment today. It's for the best anyway, since I'm still wincing from my red whip marks-not exactly something I could hide in an appointment. And I can't really complain about spending a lot of time with Katniss. Haymitch tells the plan for the day; Peeta will be with him and Katniss will be with Effie for four hours, then a lunch break, then Peeta will be with Effie for another four hours and Katniss will be with me.

After breakfast, Katniss unwillingly follows Effie but before she goes she gives me an pleading look. I know she's going to hate whatever Effie has planned for her and I'm assuming it's going to include ridiculous high heels and a ball gown; this is Effie after all. I'd love to see Katniss in that, since I'm sure she's going to look gorgeous, but I might laugh at her attempts to walk in heels. Correction-I would laugh, and she would get pissed at me and Effie would probably scold me. So instead of following them, I give Katniss an apologetic look as she walks away. As soon as they're gone, Jullus pulls something out from under the table and hands it to me. It's a tube of some kind of medicine.

"I'm sorry. Haymitch told me about your marks. I didn't know that would happen, I really didn't." Jullus apologizes to me, "That will take away the pain, and the redness will subside in about a day."

"It's okay, I believe you didn't know." I assure him, because I don't really think he would have planned that appointment if he knew. He genuinely cares, I'm coming to realize. "Hell, she even fooled me until I made a deal with her. Then she completely dropped the innocent act."

"I'm so sorry. I truly thought she was a good girl." he says, shaking his head in almost disappointment, and I nod in understanding. I take off my shirt and he actually winces a little when he sees, but doesn't comment further. The medicine eases the pain almost immediately, and I feel so much better.

"So you made a deal. I hope it's at least a good one for all you went through." Jullus says.

"It is. The mutts won't go after Katniss for the first three days, and if I want to guarantee more I'll have to go back on the third night." I tell him.

"That's good, it could be a vital deal." he replies, "But you know it's against the rules to go on an appointment when your tribute is still living. Plus you will most likely go through this pain again."

"I've never been huge on following rules anyway. And besides, the deal is technically against the rules anyway, so I figured as long as I could hide it that it would be okay. And now that I have this medicine I can handle the pain for a little while. As long as Katniss can be a little more safe." I tell him defiantly. He sighs, but doesn't try to dissuade me anymore. He has obviously learned by this point that it's like pulling teeth to get me to not do something when I'm so determined. Instead of replying, he takes out a sheet of paper with a lot of names on it.

The paper has so many names that I can't even count. They're sponsors, all for Katniss. All because she's the Girl on Fire with the score of 11. Because she volunteered for her sister, and people like her-this just proves it. I give Jullus a real smile as I begin to sign by each name so that the sponsors are official. Yes, Katniss can do this-no complication, no distraction will stop her. She's going to pull of being the Victor, I know it.


	13. Distractions

Katniss comes in for lunch frustrated so I'm assuming she hated whatever Effie had her do, which is what I expected. But after lunch she's with me until dinner, and I don't intend to make it hard for her. In fact, I don't really plan to do much mentoring at all, and I'm going to take this opportunity to just spend time with her. So after lunch, I tell her to go change out of the ball gown she's still in and I'll meet her outside her room with a mischievous grin, and she quickly changes. I pull her up to the roof, the only place I can think of that's close to home in this fucking city, with its gardens and fresh air. It's exactly what she needs, I can tell.

"Gale, why didn't you bring me up here before?" she exclaims, walking around the plants and breathing in the fresh air.

"I knew you'd love it up here." I grin, "And there wasn't really time to come up here before. Cinna showed me it earlier this week." We sit down facing each other in the middle of the garden Indian style, our knees slightly touching.

"So what's the plan for my interview." She asks.

"I don't know. Just be yourself I guess." I suggest with a shrug. I don't know what Peeta's planning, so I can't give her a specific angle to go with. And she doesn't need an angle anyway; she's perfect the way she is.

"Oh that's helpful." she states sarcastically, "How am I supposed to answer the questions? What should I say that will make them like me?" she continues apprehensively.

"Catnip, they're going to love you; you have an 11 and you're the Girl on Fire. Just answer the questions honestly and you'll be fine." I insist confidently.

"But I don't want them to know the truth. They're already trying to take away my future, why should I give them even more?" she replies stubbornly before hiding her face in her hands. I gently pull them off and keep her hands in mine.

"Katniss, look at me." I say gently. She complies, and I continue, "Answer the questions how you would answer them to me. I'll be in the audience and you can look at me the whole time."

"Really?" she says, a bit hopeful.

"Really. Now I'd love for you to tell them how much you hate them, but I have a feeling the Capitolites won't enjoy it as much as I would. So just answer them honestly to me while keeping away from that stuff." I tell her with a grin. She rolls her eyes at that, but is obviously feeling a little better.

"Alright. Anything else?" she asks.

"Nope." I answer with a smile, "Feel lucky you don't have Haymitch as your mentor. I doubt you would have gotten off so easy."

"So what are we going to do? Just hang out up here?" she questions with a playful smirk.

"Sure why not. I could use a nap anyway." I reply jokingly.

"Sounds good to me." she replies, and comes to sit next to me. I put my arm around her shoulder, and we talk for a little bit about District 12, our families, the woods. Everything but the Games that are far too near in the future. It's really a great afternoon despite where we are, and I can tell she needed this. She needs to get away from this reality as much as I do, even if it's just for a little while. We stay up on the roof until dinner, and then go to bed early, knowing that tomorrow Katniss will be up very early for her day of prep for the interview. I actually have appointments in the morning, so I go to bed as well.

The day has gone by in some kind of blur, because I'm too nervous about whatever Peeta has planned. All I know is that I'm not going to like it but it will get her sponsors. I want to ask Haymitch, but I can't risk it now when Peeta or Katniss could walk in at any moment. After all, we have to leave soon to go to the interviews.

After another five minutes of waiting, Katniss comes out with Cinna in tow. She looks stunning; she's truly the Girl on Fire now. It looks like with every step she's engulfed in flames. I can't even hide the impressed and pleased look on my face. Fortunately, she doesn't notice because she's taking me in as well and I see almost the same expression on her face that I'm sure is on mine. I don't know why she's looking at me that way, because I'm only in a black suit; it's not like I'm wearing jeweled flames. She looks up at me after a few seconds and blushes, though I don't know if it's because of her reaction or mine. Haymitch, as usual, notices.

"Alright you two stop staring at each other." he jokes, which only makes Katniss blush harder, "Sweetheart, you know what you're doing in the interview?"

She doesn't respond immediately and I can tell she's having trouble meeting my eyes, clearly embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm just going to be myself."

Haymitch turns to me and gives me a disappointed look, "You call that an angle, kid?"

"Yeah, she doesn't need to be anyone but herself." I declare defensively.

"Well maybe if she was really that cheery girl from the chariot I might agree. You think you can pull that off again sweetheart?" Haymitch asks her. She nods, and we follow the newly arrived Peeta and Portia to the elevator to meet Effie, and go down to where the interviews are.

While Haymitch, Effie, and I are just waiting in the audience for the interviews to start, I take this opportunity to ask Haymitch what Peeta's plan is. It's too late to change it anyway, and I figure I might need the heads up.

"Haymitch." I call him to attention quietly.

"What kid?"

"What's Peeta's interview plan?" I ask, trying to keep it casual. He gives me a hard stare before smirking.

"Oh yeah, the boy told me about you're little deal. You shouldn't have gotten caught if you didn't want this to happen." He tells me. Well shit, now I really know I'm going to hate it.

"I wouldn't have gotten caught if you hadn't sent up 'help' in the first place." I argue.

"Well, you needed the help kid. You fucked yourself up for not being quieter." he claims.

"Just tell me what the damn plan is!" I try not to yell, but our conversation is obviously getting louder because I'm getting a few looks from people around us.

"Fine kid. I'll tell ya. It's probably better if you're prepared anyway seeing as ya can't burst into flames with the show starting in a minute." Haymitch states. Fuck what the hell is it!

"Well?" I ask in annoyance.

"He's going to say that he loves her." Haymitch informs me, looking straight in my eyes. What the fuck? He can't do that, it's going to be embarrassing and horrible for Katniss. Not to mention me.

"What the fuck Haymitch? You agreed to it? That is not the kind of distraction she needs going into the arena!" I half yell, gripping the armrests with all my strength. I'm so fucking angry and upset right now that I can't handle it.

"Don't lie to me kid. I know you're just jealous." Haymitch retorts back.

"That's beside the fucking point! It's still a huge distraction she doesn't need." I argue back.

"So what kid? It's going to get her a shit ton of sponsors. It's going to make her desirable, and frankly, she could use it." Haymitch replies back with just as much verve. I'm about to answer back colorfully, but the show is starting so I grip my armrests even harder and try not to explode.

"Just watch the show kid. We'll deal with it after." Haymitch whispers. I give him a death stare which he replies with a 'you did this to yourself' look.

I spend most of the interviews brooding in silence, not really paying any attention to the interviews. But when Rue, the adorable little girl from District 11comes up, I try to relax my face a little. Katniss will be up soon and she will be looking at me for most of her interview. If I look the least bit worried or pissed she will notice and it will distract her in her interview. No, I need to calm the fuck down; I can get pissed again when she leaves the stage and fucking Peeta goes up.

Before I know it, Katniss is on the stage, and I have somewhat calmed down. It helps that I can distract myself with how incredibly beautiful she looks. She's evidently nervous, and she fumbles out answers to the questions Ceaser begins to ask her. Mostly just benign things like her costumes or her favorite thing in the Capitol, which she answers nervously, scanning the audience desperately. I vaguely hear him ask her how she got her 11, which she answers with something like, 'sorry, that's private, but I'm sure it was a first.

I know she's looking for me, desperately looking around the audience while not trying to look like she is. The Capitolites laugh at her honest answers, and I want to kill them all. This isn't funny; she's nervous and her fucking life is on the line. Would you want people to laugh at you if you were up there? Luckily, she locks eyes with me right before Ceaser asks her a more serious question, and she instantly relaxes.

"Now Katniss, a little birdy told me that you know your mentor very well. Can you tell us about that?" Ceaser asks her, leaning in for her answer. I see her trying to resist, not wanting the Capitol to have this part of her life. Because it's none of their business, and she doesn't want them to have this. But she has to answer, and she knows it. So she looks me straight in the eye with a small smile, no longer paying attention to Ceaser or the cameras. Come on Catnip, just answer the question as if I was asking.

"Yes. He's my best friend." she answers quietly, and I hear the audience aww. I give her my own small smile back.

"Just your best friend? Are you sure there's not something more going on with that handsome boy?" Ceaser pries, going for juicy gossip or something. What the fuck? That's none of your or anyone else's business. Yes, I would love for us to be more, but that's crossing the line.

"No, just best friends." She answers almost annoyed, but I can see a glint of sadness in her eyes that passes as quickly as it came. Is she just upset that he's trying to get this information out of her? It must be.

"Well that's wonderful too." Ceaser replies, obviously unsatisfied with her answer. But luckily he just moves on when he clearly realizes he's getting nothing more. I'm sure her time is almost up anyway.

"Now, I must ask this one question that's been on everyone's mind before your time is up. What were you thinking when you volunteered for your sister at the reaping?" Ceaser asks seriously. No, that's way too private. This is none of their damn business, and Katniss and I both know it. But she swallows her pride and just keeps looking at me when she answers.

"Her name's Prim, and she's only 12. I love her more than anything, so I couldn't let her go." she says softly.

"I see. And did your sister say goodbye to you?" Ceaser asks, matching her tone. She nods, probably not trusting her voice right now. "What did your sister say to you?"

"She made me promise to try to win for her." Katniss replies. That's when the buzzer goes off that her time is up.

"And try you will. Good luck to you Katniss Everdeen, Girl on Fire!" he says as the audience cheers loudly and she quickly leaves the stage with a small smile. I'm relieved that she didn't blow it, but unfortunately now it's Peeta's turn. I tense up again, knowing what's coming in the next few minutes.

Peeta turns out to be a natural in front of the camera, and I think he could even give Ceaser a run for his money as a television host. He starts out with a few effortless jokes, has the audience cracking up at some shower pun where he and Ceaser take turns smelling each other. Then Ceaser gets to the more serious questions after the audience has died down some. I grip my armrests hard and bite my lip.

"Peeta! Handsome man like you, you must have a girl back home."

"No, not really." Peeta answers almost bashfully.

"Aw come on! I don't believe it, do you?" he asks the audience, and they laugh and shout out 'no way' and 'you're kidding.'

"Well, there is this one girl. But I don't think she noticed me until the reaping." Peeta concedes. I'm now so tense I'm almost shaking in my seat.

"Aw that's too bad. Well here's what you do-win this thing, go home and go get her. She can't turn you down then right?" Ceaser advises, and the audience cheers loudly in approval.

"Winning…wouldn't exactly help in my case." Peeta replies. Not that it ever fucking would. She would never have looked at you anyway, even if you hadn't got reaped.

"Why not?" Ceaser asks, confused. Fuck, here comes the bomb.

"Because…because she came here with me." Peeta spits out. Fuck there it is, all out in the open. They cut to a screenshot of Katniss's face, which looks like nothing but pure shock as the audience goes wild. You can't even hear the buzzer that signifies that his time is up over the audience, and he leaves the stage without another word. Peeta has entirely blown all the other tributes out of the water with this one move. Despite knowing from Haymitch that this is going to get her sponsors, I still fucking hate it.

I deliberately stay behind from the elevator that Katniss gets in, not wanting her to see her just now. It will only make it worse. So as soon as I see her elevator door close, the shocked expression still plastered on her face, I go over to the elevator. When it opens, I quickly get in and push the 12 button, but just before the door closes someone slides in; Finnick.

"That's a low blow. Sorry man." He tries to comfort me with.

"He fucking made me make a deal with him so he would keep everything secret from Katniss. I should have known it would be something like this." I seethe, wanting to punch the wall.

"Damn, the kid's got balls. Never saw him for a blackmailer." Finnick says back, impressed despite himself.

"Yeah well apparently he is. And now she has this distraction in the arena." I say back.

"Probably will be a distraction. But it will get lots of sponsors. The star-crossed lovers angle is going to be big." He replies. I give him a look that could kill.

"Easy man, I'm just telling you the truth. Just calm down a little before you get up there, okay?" Finnick states, his hands in the air. He gets out quickly on his floor, and I spend the rest of the trip up to the 12th floor trying to calm down again.

When I step out, I find Katniss in a complete rage, her flamed dress just adding to the image. She has Peeta pinned to a wall, and I can see his hands are bleeding, a broken pot on the floor. That's my girl. I try not to laugh, because now I know she does not approve of his little plan. And she's getting back at him for me just fine.

"You think he hurt you girl? No, he made you look desirable, which is going to get you sponsors." Haymitch claims in Peeta's defense. At this point Peeta sees me and gives me a glare.

"You told her?" he accuses. Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I have gone back on our little deal even though I hate it? I'm still hell-bent on her not knowing about the appointments or anything. No, this response of hers is all her own. You fucked yourself, Peeta.

"No, I didn't actually." I smirk back. Ha! Now he knows this reaction is all her, and it had nothing to do with me. You mess with the Girl on Fire, you're going to get burned.

"You knew?" Katniss now spins around and turns her fury onto me. Shit, should have seen that coming. I open my mouth to respond, but I can't seem to find any words to explain. She comes up to me and shoves me hard before storming to her room. Well, better than her knowing the truth anyway.

"I didn't think she'd react that way." Peeta muses, evidently still surprised by her reaction. He looks a little hurt by it too, and not just in the physical sense. Good, now he can see that it would have never worked out for them anyway.

"I could have told you that." I mutter, but he still hears me.

"Remember our deal. You need to get her to go along with it." Peeta says. I glare at him in response.

"Kid, he's right. It's her best chance at getting sponsors. She doesn't have to do anything; she just has to play along." Haymitch adds. I roll my eyes, but say nothing else.

I leave to go to my room to change for dinner, and when I come out I can see that Katniss is not present. Fair enough, I guess she's eating in her room. Probably pissed off at everyone right now, so it's best to just leave her alone for a while. No one comments on her absence, and I go to bed soon after the meal, skipping the recap of the interviews. But I can't sleep, so I wander the halls for a bit before going up to the roof.

I don't do anything; just stare up at the stars while I think about everything. Katniss's Games tomorrow, Peeta's interview, Finnick and Johanna's assurance that they're going to help me get Katniss out alive. How the hell I'm going to mentor. I'm up there for a long time, just lost in thought. I'm so lost in thought that I don't realize that someone else is on the roof until I feel arms come around my waist from behind. Knowing who it is immediately, I turn around and pull her into a hug.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask her.

"No. You either?" I reply.

"No. I'm sorry I hit you." she says quietly.

"I'm sorry too. I should have told you." I say back.

"Why didn't you?" she asks, pulling back a little.

"Because it will get you a lot of sponsors. All they want is a show, and this will give it to them." I say. Hell, I wish I could have told her. I wish it didn't fucking happen, especially since it's going to get her tons of sponsors.

"So what? And why do you even care if it gets more sponsors?" she asks, a little hurt.

"I can't believe your even asking. Because I need you to come home." I answer her, my eyes going wide in disbelief. She can't be fucking serious. And I'm straying far too close to the truth right now-she doesn't need any more distractions.

"You don't need me. Not really. You're already a Victor, so you don't need a hunting partner anymore. You could even find another best friend." she replies, the pain and confusion evident in her eyes. Is she serious? Does she really not know how much I need her? That I can't live without her?

I don't even think about what I do next; I take her face in my hands and kiss her. Her lips are warm and send an electric jolt through my body, and when I pull away I look her right in her shocked eyes.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me." I tell her honestly, pulling out of our embrace before going down the stairs to my room, leaving her up there by herself.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the hell did I just do? That wasn't part of the plan! I wasn't supposed to do that! Well this is just so fucking great, now I'm a hypocrite; I didn't want her to have any distractions going into that arena, and now I just added a huge one. I'm an idiot. She'd kill me now if I were going to see her before she goes into the arena tomorrow. Well I can't take back the kiss now.

Oh well, I think darkly, If she's going to kill me, at least she'll have to come out of the Games a Victor to do it.


	14. Let the Games Begin

I have horrible nightmares that night when I finally get to sleep, and they all feature Katniss. Katniss, who is going into the Games in a matter of hours. Katniss, who could die today or in the very near future. Katniss, my best friend, the girl I love that I stupidly kissed last night. I really don't know what overcame me; Peeta's interview, her idiotically saying that I didn't need her, or simply the buildup of six months of desire to kiss her exploding out, knowing it could be my last chance. I'm sorry I gave her that distraction before the arena, but I can't say that I'm too sorry I did it finally.

I grudgingly get out of bed for what could possibly be the worst day of my life, and go to breakfast even though I'm not really hungry. Jullus is sitting at the table along with Haymitch, and but they stop talking until I sit down. When I do, Haymitch gets up and goes to the elevator, leaving me alone with Jullus. Jullus slides some kind of black rectangular block across the table to me, and I pick it up. I don't really know what it means or what it even is.

"What's this?" I ask, still examining it.

"That is me saving Katniss's ass." he says. Damn, I don't think I've ever heard him curse before. How is this black box saving Katniss? He's too serious right now to be joking.

"Do explain." I reply.

"That right there is the only recording of what happened on the roof last night. You know, where you and Katniss were?" he enlightens me. My face instantly drains of color. Shit, I should have known there were cameras up there. I really am an idiot sometimes. "You're lucky that I happened to be in the Security Room talking with a friend of mine last night, and I convinced her to give me that evidence. Do you understand that if that had gotten in anyone else's hands, the whole star-crossed lovers angle would be shattered to pieces? That she would probably lose a lot if not all of her sponsors?" he continues completely seriously and his tone has a hint of frustration to it, willing me to see how much I fucked up.

"I…thank you. I should have known there was a camera up there. I wasn't even thinking." I apoligize, a little embarrassed. He relaxes a little, his face becoming less tense.

"It's alright, I don't blame you for kissing her; you just needed to be more careful. There are eyes and ears everywhere in this city." Jullus states. A clear warning for the future.

"I'll remember that." I assure him.

"In the meantime, it would be a bad idea to destroy it or throw it away because someone could easily find it and we'd never know, so we will have to hide it. See here, I've labeled it for you." he tells me. I look again at the black thing in my hand, confused.

"I don't see a label." I say, wondering for the first time if he's not a little crazy.

"Here, look at this." He whips out some kind of metal stick thing about six inches in length, and he flips a switch on it. It glows a bright purple, and he puts the light over the black box. I can now see that there is hidden writing glowing in the light from his stick thing. "It's called a blacklight; that label will only be visible with this, so only people with one of these will know what's on the tape. We can hide it with the other tapes over there in the cabinet and no one should think anything of it." He explains. Damn, I really owe this guy so much. I've officially decided I like Jullus. Who knew I would ever consider a Capitolite a friend?

"Jullus, why are you so helpful to me? I mean with everything, not just this. You really didn't have to be, and I wouldn't have expected it." I ask him out of sheer curiosity after a minute.

He gives me a smile, and plays with the blacklight in his hand. I see the light go over his hand, and strangely, there's something hidden there like there is on the tape; it's a mockingjay. I stare at it while he answers. "Because you deserve help." He turns off the light and walks away, and I sit at the table dumbfounded.

Interesting, that's almost what Cinna said when I asked why he chose District 12. And the mockingjay…what it's for? What does it mean? Why is it on Jullus's hand, hidden, and Cinna obviously finds some deeper meaning about it? Why did Madge insist that Katniss wear the mockingjay pin as her District token? I shake my head, and go down to the Mentor Room. I'll get answers eventually, but for now I need to focus on Katniss.

When I get down to the Mentor Room, I can see that it's already bustling with activity. Most of the mentors are already down here, what with the preview of the Arena for mentors one hour in advance of the Games being in a few minutes. I see a big 12 on the wall between 1 and 11 with a bunch of screens opposite it at a huge circular table with two chairs, one already filled with a drinking Haymitch. Shocking, isn't it?

I go over to him and sit down in the other chair, staring at all of the screens that I have no idea what to do with. I didn't find the time to learn all the mentoring stuff between my appointments and actually mentoring, so I still have no idea what I'm doing. Luckily Haymitch seems to actually try to be helpful today though.

"Alright kid, I'll make it simple for you. These screens will focus on Katniss and Peeta at all times. That screen in the middle shows what the public sees. This here is your tablet." he states as he hands me a thin black thing with a screen, "On it will be sponsor money, list of kills, her rating, and Katniss's vital signs like her heart rate. These tablets go black once your tribute dies, but it doesn't turn on unless your tribute lives past the bloodbath. Got it?" I nod in response, knowing that I'll eventually have to learn in more detail but all we have time for right now is this crash course.

The viewing of the arena pops up on the table screen in front of me, and I tentatively touch it. It moves with my hand, going along the virtual arena. That's kinda cool, actually. As I explore the arena, I see a giant grain field, which is less than helpful, a lake with a stream and a few ponds, and I'm happy to say that over half of the arena is a forest with the same kinds of trees as our woods back home. Thank you Gamemakers; really, you have no idea how much of an advantage you gave Katniss in these Games with that forest. It's absolutely perfect.

I spend a good amount of time just exploring the virtual forest, mentally marking where the nearest sources of water will be to the Cornucopia and where the best places to hide are. The nearest water source besides the lake and the stream which she should stay far away from is at least six miles in. A long run, but as long as she goes in the right direction she should find it before nightfall.

Once I'm done exploring I look around the room. There are eleven other stations just like ours around the giant circular table and all the mentors are present now, some still exploring the arena and some chatting with each other. In the center of the room, is the big hologram screen which shows what the public sees, and below it is two clocks; one that is set at all zeros, which I'm assuming counts the time past in the arena and one that is set for twenty-four hours.

"What's that for?" I question Haymitch, pointing to the 24 hour clock.

"It's the wait time for sending sponsor gifts. They don't want mentors to interfere with the first day of the Games." He informs me, clearly bored.

"Oh." I respond. Wouldn't want to help the tributes through the bloodbath or the annual first night Career hunt, now would we?

I explore the arena for a little more, but quickly abandon it once I see that the tributes will be up in one minute. I glance nervously at the screen in front of me, which comes to life as Katniss goes up her tube. She looks around at here surroundings, seeing the forest she will undoubtedly run for. But then she looks at the Cornucopia, and gets into a running position. What the fuck is she doing? I told her to not go for the Cornucopia, to stay far away from that damn bloodbath. I can't have her do something that stupid and die the first day!I take a glance at the virtual Cornucopia surrounded by supplies on the table screen, and I see what she's going for; a silver bow, right near the heart of the Cornucopia. Which she knows is meant for her. Shit-I mean I'm glad it's in the arena, but they shouldn't tempt her like that, having it in the center of the bloodbath. She can always find a way to get it later since the Careers don't know it's her weapon.

As the clock goes down, I apprehensively watch her, willing her with all my might to not go for it. She was right; watching is so much harder than actually being there, because I feel sick to my stomach watching her and knowing I can't help her at all for at least 24 hours. But something makes her lose her focus for a split second; Peeta, who is shaking his head slightly telling her no, obviously seeing like me what she wants to do. Despite not really liking the guy, I can't help but be grateful for that.

She loses her focus long enough that when the timer is up, it's too late for her to run for the bow, so she runs about twenty yards in for a backpack. Unfortunately, another tribute grabs it as soon as she does. But he doesn't put up a fight for long, because he drops dead from a knife in his back from the District 2 girl, and Katniss runs with it. I see the District 2 girl ready her next knife, and it's aimed at Katniss. This is the girl that never misses with knives-shit.

"Block it Katniss!" I yell at her screen, as if she can actually hear me. And as soon as the knife almost hits her, she does, putting the backpack protectively over her head so the knife embeds itself in there instead of her skull. Thanks for giving her the knife. I think smugly at the District 2 girl as Katniss runs through the forest with no more pursuits from other tributes. I'm glad she has a weapon now since she left the Cornucopia without one. It's not a bow, but a knife can come in handy as well. It will do for now.

"Are you two mind readers or something kid?" Haymitch asks me, clearly amused that Katniss did exactly what I told her screen right after I said it. I'm not a mind reader, but with her I'm close enough I guess-I know her like the back of my hand. I give him a roll of my eyes, relaxing a little since I know that she's temporarily out of danger. I still keep an eye on her screen every few minutes, but I primarily watch the bloodbath in the center.

There are so many kids lying dead on the ground already, and the fighting is still going on. After about half an hour, the fighting ends, with all six Careers predictably alive and starting to gather in a group to strategize. I'm curious why the cannons haven't gone off yet to signify that the bloodbath is over, but I don't have to be for long. Because as Peeta walks out of the Cornucopia with a knife in hand, I realize that the bloodbath isn't in fact over.

What the fuck, Peeta? You're a dead man walking, staying there until the fighting is over with all of the Careers alive and gathered together; it's practically suicide. And to think that I thought he was smarter than that. What happened to his stupid star-crossed lovers thing? Did he give up on it since Katniss wouldn't cooperate? I glance over at Haymitch, who looks more than pissed, so obviously this was not the plan. Guess Peeta actually pulled one over on that crazy smart drunk-gotta give him credit for that.

When the Careers see him, they don't immediately attack, but collectively laugh at him. After all, they can take that time to be confident; Peeta's ridiculously outnumbered and everyone knows it.

"Well look who we have here-it's Lover boy. What do you want?" The boy from District 1 snickers. Lover boy huh? Why can't you just call him Peeta or District 12? Anything but fucking Lover boy.

"I stayed to join your alliance." Peeta states with sheer determination. What the fuck? Now he's not just committing suicide, but everyone in the non-Career Districts now hate him-we call Careers the Capitol's lapdogs.

"Oh really? And what makes you think we would let you?" the District 2 girl laughs at him. All the Careers are clearly amused by Peeta, enjoying themselves a little before they undoubtedly kill him.

"I got the same score as him. What makes him so much better than me?" Peeta defends, pointing to the District 4 boy.

"Alright then, Lover boy. Rudd, why don't you do the honors and show him why your better?" Cato challenges the Distict 4 boy with a cocky grin. In response, the District 4 boy smirks and gets in position to fight Peeta.

"With pleasure." the boy grins confidently, and lunges for Peeta with two knives in hand. But Peeta is ready for it, and tackles him quickly to the ground. They wrestle around in the dirt for about 30 seconds before Peeta has the boy pinned under him and quickly slits his opponent's throat. Shit, I didn't know he could do that! He's a fucking baker's son! Where the hell did he learn how to wrestle? He stands up quickly, bloody knife in hand, taking on a defensive position. The Careers are in complete shock, their mouths hanging open as they alternate glances between Peeta and their dead ally on the ground.

"Glimmer, watch him for a minute." Cato, the boy from District 2 spits out, the first one to speak. The girl from District 1 who I'm assuming is Glimmer (Such a stupid name. Seriously District 1?") gives Peeta, who is still on the defense but not moving, a death glare, and the other four Careers huddle together.

The camera watches them, seeming to be in the middle of their circle so we can easily hear their conversation. I glance quickly at Peeta's screen in front of Haymitch and see that Peeta is having a stare down with the girl, Glimmer, who has an arrow pointed at him. An arrow? She fucking has Katniss's bow! Well at least she seems to be one of the weaker Careers. It will make it slightly easier for her to get the bow that way. He can't make a last ditch effort escape now-its death or they let him join, because if he runs she can shoot him at long distance.

"We can't let him live. He just killed Rudd!" the District 4 girl orders in defense of her dead District partner.

"We could overpower him if we all take him on at once." the District 1 boy suggests.

"No, we'll let him join us." Cato orders, clearly the leader of this Career pack.

"Why?" the District 4 girl asks, clearly pissed at his verdict.

"Cato's right. Lover boy's our best chance of finding her." the District 2 girl claims viciously, clearly referring to Katniss. I shudder internally at that, but I know that Peeta would never help them. After all he does like her, as much as I hate to admit it. On that note, I glance down at her screen. She's still on the move, but is at a jogging pace now, the knife still embedded in her backpack. Good, run as far as you can before they start hunting tributes.

"Plus he probably knows how she got that 11." the boy from 1 adds, warming up to the idea.

"Right. So we will let him in until he's no longer...useful." the girl from 2 says with finality. I can tell the girl from 4 is still not on board, but she knows that she's outvoted so she says nothing more.

"But when we do find her, I kill her and no one gets in my way." Cato says menacingly. Shit, I knew he was going to be the number one competitor. And now he's hell-bent on killing her. So fucking awesome.

"But I wanted to kill her. Why do you get dibs?" the Distict 2 girl pouts. Seriously, you're whining about not murdering someone? What the fuck do they teach these Careers? Obviously they cut out their hearts and destroy their humanity.

"Because I have a better reason to kill her than you, Clove." Cato seethes back, superiority dripping from his tone.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Clove demands back, crossing her arms across her chest with an eyebrow cocked.

"Revenge."


	15. Lies

"Revenge? Just because she got an 11 and you got a 10? If you hadn't noticed I got a 10 too. What gives you the right to kill her over me?" Clove argues.

"Because I'm the leader here, Clove. She's mine." Cato fights back, but I think he's holding back on something. What is this personal vendetta of his for revenge on Katniss? Maybe she did something in training that pissed him off? After all, Clove did get the same score as him and being the leader wouldn't necessarily give him any right because of that-it is the Hunger Games after all.

Clove rolls her eyes, but doesn't say anything else. They break their circle and tell Peeta that he's in, to which he just nods in agreement. His personal guard for the last few minutes, Glimmer, looks angry and confused at this verdict, but simply puts the bow down and joins the other Careers and Peeta in the gathering of supplies. While they are gathering, the cannons start going off that signal that the bloodbath is over. Guess the Gamemakers decided that the Careers really aren't going to kill Peeta then-at least for now. I count the cannons and hear eleven go off, a pretty average number for a bloodbath. It's not so average for one of those cannons to be for a Career, but I'm not complaining-one less predator hunting Katniss.

As soon as the cannons end, my tablet comes to life, showing me Katniss's vital signs which I know nothing about. I'll need someone to teach me what's good and bad on those numbers. I check the screen in front of me to see what Katniss is doing, and I see her sitting down looking through her backpack. She goes through it and comes up with a water bottle, which is unfortunately empty. Shit, how far is she from the nearest water source? I can't send her water for about another 22 hours.

I look at the virtual arena screen, and discover that she is four and a half miles from the stream. But she when gets up, she goes in the opposite direction. Come on Katniss, the other way! But our 'mind reading' skills as Haymitch put it appear to be malfunctioning at the moment, because she is still jogging in the same direction. Great. I just hope she finds the pond before the first day is up about eight miles away, or dehydration will set in quickly. Very unlikely that she will get there before dusk, but hopefully she can find it tomorrow. I'm completely helpless for now, which feels horrible. If I could just send her a gift of water or even a sign that she's going the wrong direction, I wouldn't have to worry. Damn you Gamemakers for not letting us help the first day.

I go back to primarily watching the center screen and find that it is still focused on the Careers, who are talking about their hunt for tributes tonight. But the conversation isn't about the weaker tributes and where they're hiding-no it's them grilling Peeta about Katniss.

"So Lover boy, what's her weapon?" Clove asks him, playing with a dainty knife in her hand.

"Knives." Peeta answers with a smug grin at Clove, obviously knowing that she practically gave Katniss one. Knives? He's lying-he knows that her weapon is the bow; his father buys enough of our squirrels that he would be stupid to not know. Is he really helping her somehow with this 'join the Career pack' move?

"Well as long as she doesn't have one, we're fine." the boy from District 1 states nonchalantly, evidently not knowing that Katniss has a knife.

"But she does have one. Clove threw it at her on her way into the forest." Peeta replies almost innocently, pointing at the District 2 girl. Clove shoots daggers at him with her eyes at the mention of it.

"And she's alive? Clove, you never miss." Cato states, astonished at his District partner's mishap.

"She blocked it with her damn backpack right before it hit her." Clove spits back, clearly pissed at herself for missing as well as giving Katniss her 'weapon of choice'. I don't see how teaming up with the Careers is helping with the star-crossed lover angle, but Peeta's still helping Katniss. It's not going to help with sponsors since the Capitolites don't know that he's lying, but I can't be too sorry that he seems to have given up the angle. But something tells me he hasn't.

As I'm watching the screen intently, I hear people come up behind me and spin around in my chair- its Johanna and Finnick.

"Well we're out." Johanna informs with a shrug. You would have thought that she would be a little upset, but she predicted that her tributes were bloodbaths days ago. And this is Johanna Mason after all-not exactly a sentimental person. She pulls an extra chair from behind my station and sits in it, and Finnick follows suit. Once he's sitting, he offers his hand to Haymitch to shake.

"No hard feelings, man. Rudd was too cocky for his own good-I didn't expect that from your tribute though." Finnick says honestly, and Haymitch accepts his handshake before turning back to his drink, not even bothering to watch Peeta's screen.

"Me either. That wasn't the plan, but he pulled it off somehow." Haymitch replies almost annoyed, and then takes a swig of his drink. He's obviously still pissed that he didn't know something for once.

"Guess he's given up on the star-crossed lovers angle then." Finnick says to me with a grin.

"I would agree with you, but…" I hesitate.

"But what?" Johanna asks.

"Well, he might just be playing the Careers, that's all." I reply, not really going into more explanation than that. I would tell Finnick my suspicions about Peeta because I'm beginning to trust him, but I'm not quite sure about Johanna yet. I'll tell Finnick the truth when Johanna's not here.

For the next six hours or so, Johanna, Finnick, and Haymitch teach me all about the technology in front of me. What the numbers on the vitals mean, how to choose and select sponsor gifts, and where the list of dead tributes is located are included in my learning. I scan the eleven dead tributes and I'm surprised to see one name not on there-Rue, the little girl from District 11. Shit; just like Jacob last year, she surprisingly made it through the bloodbath. Exactly like we thought wouldn't happen. I just hope Katniss still remembers Jacob and how hard his death was-and still is-for me so she won't team up with Rue if they happen to cross paths. I know Katniss won't kill her if that happens, but hopefully if it does she does nothing.

Psh who am I kidding? This is Katniss. So the best thing would be for her to just not run into Rue at all.

Not much happens on the screens that exciting in those first hours of the Games. Peeta and the Careers are setting up camp by the lake and the other tributes are still on the run, most taking refuge in the forest. Katniss is one of those on the run, and maybe about an hour before sundown she sets up a few simple snares before climbing up a willow about a mile away. The commentators get a kick out of the snares, saying that she's just like me; that she'll win these Games with snares as well.

I roll my eyes when I hear that. Please, that simple of a snare makes you think she's a 'genius' with them? She may be my best friend, but she never quite got the hang of snares like me. No, her weapon is the bow, which is like a natural extension of her arm. Fine; let the whole fucking country believe that's so. They won't see it coming when she gets her hands on that bow.

"Is she really as good at snares as you are?" Finnick asks me, obviously paying attention to the commenters as well. Since Johanna left to get something to eat and Haymitch grudgingly went to talk to the Career mentors since the Careers are Peeta's allies I decide to tell Finnick the truth. I trust he won't go telling the other mentors.

"Not at all. Her weapon's the bow and arrows." I whisper to him.

"Really?" he asks, matching my tone of voice, perplexed. "So Peeta lied about the knives?"

I nod in response. "Yeah; she can throw a knife but she's absolutely lethal with a bow. That's part of the reason why I think Peeta has some plan up his sleeve because he knows that." I confide.

"Interesting. Maybe he hasn't given up on the star-crossed lover angle then. I wonder how he's going to play it." Finnick replies.

"You and me both." I answer.

With that said, I look up at the center screen. Darkness has just begun to fall, and the Careers get ready to be on the move once the pictures of the dead tributes fade away with the anthem. They decide to leave the District 4 girl behind as a guard for the supplies, and the other four Careers and Peeta go to the forest to hunt tributes.

I take a glance at Katniss's screen and see that she's tied herself to the tree she's in, wrapped up in a black sleeping bag she obviously found in her bag. She settles in for the night, and I sincerely hope she gets some rest. Unlikely it will be good rest being in a tree and with the knowledge that she is currently being hunted, but any is better than none.I decide to stay up the whole night and make sure she's safe. I know I can't help her tonight, but at least I can watch her at all times-a perk of being a mentor and not in the districts. I can't imagine how her family is feeling, knowing they can't be absolutely sure she's safe because it's not shown to them.

Johanna comes back after a few minutes with some drinks in her arms. She hands me one, and I examine it, preparing to take a tentative sip. She notices my hesitancy.

"Relax it's an energy drink. I figured you would stay up all night watching her you crazy lovebird." Johanna says, rolling her eyes. I take a big sip then-it tastes like cherries, and it's bubbly. It's actually pretty good and I finish it quickly. I'm not as wide awake as I was after eating an Awake bar, so hopefully I can drink more of these without the side effects of the bars.

I look around the room, and see that a lot of mentors are either not here because their tributes are dead or are sleeping on the beds that come out of the wall under the District numbers. Most of the ones that have tributes alive like me are still at their stations, but most are just talking, not really paying attention to the screens. After all, the Career hunt has just begun; it's not likely that there's going to be any action for at least a few hours.

I wonder how Katniss is going to take it if and when she finds out Peeta is with the Careers. Or could she know about it? Maybe it's some kind of plan they worked out before they got to the arena. After all, I left her on the roof last night and that's the last I saw of her-she could have easily seen Peeta this morning before they left and they could have come up with this plan on their own. Sure, Katniss hated the idea of the star-crossed lovers last night, but she was told to play along with it. I truly hope this is not the case, but you never know-Katniss can do some pretty crazy things when she's motivated. And if she wanted to come back to kill me for kissing her, that would be a pretty good way to do it without her actually having to really play the angle.

About four hours, dinner, and one and a half energy drinks later, something actually happens on the screens. A tribute lights a fire about a quarter mile from where Katniss is currently. Are you fucking joking? The fire starter might as well have sent up a flare saying 'Here I am, come and get me!' I look to see who the tribute is on my tablet, and see that it's the girl tribute from District 8. Well this is so fucking great-Katniss is a stone's throw away from the biggest idiot in the Games. I turn to where District 8's station is to give the girl's mentor a glare, and find that her mentor is pissed at her tribute as well. Good, at least we're on the same page. I look at Katniss's screen, and see that she has woken up to the fire's crackling. She also looks pissed. But she can't very well go anywhere since she probably realizes that the Careers have now seen the fire and are on their way, so she tries to go back to sleep.

And see the fire the Careers do. They had been hunting for hours and still hadn't found any tributes, so when they see the smoke rising they whoop and holler like someone just told them that they got a lifetime supply of candy. Seriously? Typical Careers, jumping for joy at the chance to murder. They quickly run in that direction, eager for their first kill of the hunt that night.

A few hours later, the four Careers and Peeta are about three quarters of a mile away from the fire starter, but they stop short and examine something-shit, it's one of Katniss's snares. Johanna went to sleep about an hour ago in one of the beds behind us, so it's just Finnick and I intently watching the Careers and Peeta at 12's station.

"Hey, look at this! That fire starter must be her." Glimmer says with glee.

"She's not stupid enough to light a fire, Glimmer. It's got to be someone else." Peeta insists. Well, he's right; she would never light a fire at night, even if she didn't have the sleeping bag. She just happens to be dangerously close to the idiot that did.

"But is this her snare?" the boy from 1 asks him.

"Yes." Peeta assures him. Fuck you Peeta, why didn't you lie? Now they know for a fact that they're on her trail.

"How do you know?" Cato asks, suspicious.

"Because that's her other weapon. You already knew that her best friend won with snares last year, right? Well she can make all the snares he can even better." Peeta informs with confidence. Lies, more lies. Not true at all. But the effect on the Careers is instantaneous-Glimmer goes pale, and the District 1 boy starts looking around, frantic. Cato and Clove have matched fuming expressions.

"Shit. I knew she was hiding her knot-tying skills in training!" Clove seethes.

"Well, we better be careful then. Watch your step." District 1 says tentatively as the group quietly and more attentively stalk towards their prey, completely trusting Peeta's words.

I snicker quietly, but I'm dying laughing inside. Finnick joins me in my amusement because he now knows the truth. You have got to be fucking kidding me! Thank you Peeta, for that wonderful lie of yours. They all know that I won with snares, and now the Careers are terrified because they're convinced that at any moment they could trigger a snare made by Katniss. With this one lie, Peeta has me indirectly helping Katniss- I have helped place fear into the Careers' minds for her. If she plays it right, she can take that fear all the way to the end of the Games if she finds out about it somehow.

And the Gamemakers thought that they could prevent mentors from helping tributes in the first 24 hours.


	16. Arguments

When the Careers and Peeta arrive at the District 8 tribute's camp, they see that she is fast asleep. You would hope that they would just save her the terror of dying and slit her throat now, but the Careers are too sadistic for that. Glimmer kicks the girl in the stomach hard, and when she wakes up with a start she is met by wicked grins and snickers. She gives an ear-piercing scream as Cato embeds his sword into the right side of her chest. Laughing, the rest of the Careers look through her disappointing supplies but take whatever's there anyway. The girl is still miraculously alive but it's obvious that she will die within minutes, so the group leaves her and begins walking away. Unfortunately, they're walking in Katniss's direction. Shit.

Luckily the Careers are so high on their successful murder that they don't bother to be quiet, and as I watch her screen she wakes up with a start when she hears them. I can tell she's reluctant to even move an inch, but I see her grip her knife in her hand just in case. From the look on her face, I can tell that she's trying to hide her fear, and willing the Careers to just not look up into her tree. I wish with her as hard as I can, my eyes glancing between Peeta's screen next to me and hers.

The Careers and Peeta stop about ten yards from Katniss's willow, and pause to listen. Frowning, the District 1 boy looks in the direction they just came from.

"Are you sure you killed her? We should have heard a cannon by now." he states.

"I know where I hit her Marvel. She's good as dead." Cato glares at him.

"But what if she isn't?" Marvel argues back. Cato's about to say most likely some very choice words back but Peeta cuts him off.

"We don't have time to argue! I'll just go finish her myself." Peeta exclaims, and stalks in the direction they just came from before the Careers can disagree. I glance at Katniss's screen to see if this Career plan was agreed on by them at some point. I don't know if I'm happy or not to say that it evidently wasn't. When Katniss heard Peeta's voice, she was so shocked that she actually almost fell out of the tree. She's holding on by one hand and a foot right now, not moving for fear that the Careers heard her. Shit did they? I tense up, hoping with all my might that her movement is not one of her last. Luckily, the Careers are deaf or simply don't know the unnatural sounds of a forest like Katniss and I do, because they don't acknowledge her in any way. I sigh in relief.

"Go on Lover boy." Clove muses in Peeta's direction once he's out of hearing range.

"I don't understand. Why don't we just kill him now?" Glimmer whines, evidently not amused that she's still out of the loop since she played Peeta's guard at the Cornucopia.

"Because he's our best chance of finding her." Cato argues back with a note of finality, efficiently ending the argument. Glimmer pouts a little, but just changes the subject, probably knowing its best not to argue with Cato when he gets like that. They begin discussing how they need to get back to camp to rest and find a better way to guard the supplies while they wait for Peeta.

I take a glance at Peeta's screen next to Katniss's, and see that he has just arrived at the dying girl's camp. The girl is panting and has tears in her eyes, clearly in agonizing pain and well aware that she's dying. He kneels at her side and she looks up at him through her watery eyes.

"Please. Just please, end this." she begs as a whisper, obviously wanting her pain eliminated.

Peeta takes her hand in his and quickly squeezes it, taking a gulp before speaking. "I'm sorry. I'll take away your pain." he whispers back with compassion.

"Thank you." she exclaims quietly, and shuts her eyes. Peeta takes his knife and has one side of her throat slit when he hears a noise. Obviously he thinks it's a mutt or something, because he gets up from the girls side and runs back to where the Careers are waiting. He makes it back in about five minutes.

"Well, was she dead?" Glimmer asks him. At that moment, the cannon fires for the District 8 girl.

"No, but she is now." Peeta answers. He takes a quick glance up in the trees, and when he looks at the willow Katniss in, and I could swear that he sees her. Shit. But thankfully he doesn't acknowledge it if he does, because he just wipes his bloody knife on the edge of his shirt and tells the Careers they better get back to camp. The group leaves, and I notice that Katniss sighs in relief.

She rights herself and packs up her supplies, and about fifteen minutes after the Careers and Peeta left she swiftly climbs down the tree. She looks up with a knowing grin, which the commenters take as the star-crossed lovers have something planned, that they are separated on purpose. I roll my eyes because I know better. Not only would her almost falling out of the tree (which the public apparently didn't see) when she heard Peeta's voice have told me that she's clueless, but her knowing grin could fool anyone but me. She's putting on a show for the cameras, obviously attempting to at least appear on top of things even though she's undoubtedly didn't know about Peeta's alliance. Her grin says she knows something, but her eyes tell me she's confused and angry.

"So they did plan this together." Finnick muses beside me.

"Not exactly. She has no clue what Peeta's doing." I inform him.

"You sure? She looks pretty in the know to me." Finnick asks, not quite believing me.

"Yep. I know her better than she knows herself sometimes. She's acting on top of things for the cameras." I say with confidence.

"Well alright if you say so." Finnick shrugs, but I can tell he's not all the way convinced. I turn back to her screen to watch again. Oh well, at least her fooling the country will probably get her more sponsors.

About ten minutes later she's found a rabbit in one of her snares. I'm glad she has food already even if she still has no water, because snares are currently her best option for food since she doesn't have a bow. But she can't eat the meat raw, and it's too dangerous to start a fire to cook it. We learned not to eat rabbit raw the hard way-we were stuck behind the fence about two years ago because the electricity was on late in the evening. We were starving because we hadn't eaten since breakfast, but it was too wet to start a fire to cook something. So we took one of our rabbits and ate it raw. Both of us came down with Rabbit fever for the next few days, and we vowed to never do that again. Our families couldn't afford for us, the providers, to not be hunting because we were the source of food, and being that sick meant our families went hungry.

Thankfully she thinks of using the District 8 girl's dying fire, and cooks the rabbit on the still hot coals. The commenters applaud her resourcefulness and say that she's one smart tribute for not lighting her own fire. Well no shit she's smart; if she wasn't stupid enough to light a fire hours ago, she's certainly not going to now.

As dawn breaks some hours later, the Careers and Peeta make it back to their camp and Katniss is on the move again. Fortunately she's going in the right direction, but she's still a good four miles away from the pond if she finds it at all. I glance at the first day clock and see that I still can't send anything for about three and a half hours. This annoys me to no end, because she's bound to be feeling the symptoms of dehydration by now. She's currently sucking on a rabbit bone, probably trying to forget how thirsty she is. Just a few more hours, Catnip, and I'll send you water.

Knowing that she is in very little danger of being killed right now because the Careers aren't hunting and no mutt will come after her because of my deal, I primarily watch the center screen while Finnick goes to sleep. I know I should go to bed as well since I've been up about 24 hours with no rest, but I have to make sure Katniss gets water first. So it looks like I'll be up for a while still. Obviously Finnick woke up Johanna when he went to bed, because she groggily comes over to the chair next to me and orders a cup of coffee, not even acknowledging me. Fine by me, I'm too tired to talk anyway.

The Careers and Peeta are in for a surprise when they get back to camp. The District 4 girl looks tired from being up all night, but she's aware enough to have a spear pointing at a smallish boy on the ground who I think is from District 3. Why the fuck hasn't she killed him?

"What's this? You're not going soft on us are you Marisol?" Clove asks with a chuckle. Gee wouldn't want that. That would mean that a Career actually had a fucking heart. Oh wait, I guess Finnick has one-but I don't really count him as a Career even though he technically is. He's just too nice of a guy, and he did win his Games at a pretty young age. Maybe the heart removal of Careers doesn't take place until they're older.

"No of course not. He claims that he has a surefire way to protect our supplies so I thought I'd run it past you before I killed him. It's not like he's going anywhere." Marisol claims, defending herself. Well she's probably right about that last part. It's almost like Peeta with the suicide thing, but I don't think this kid could fight like Peeta can. For one, he's just too tiny, and two, District 3 is known for their intelligence, not their brawn.

"Well then, what's this brilliant plan of yours? You got one minute to explain and if I don't like it you're dead." Cato threatens. The kid noticeably gulps, but he graciously takes Cato's gift for the chance to explain himself.

"I know how you can keep the supplies safe. The mines by all the tribute platforms are deactivated, but I know how to reactivate them. We can put the supplies in a pile and I can put the reactivated mines and place them back in the ground in a pattern around the pile so only the tributes who know the path through them can get the supplies." the boy rushes out, obviously praying that Cato and the rest of them will agree and let him live. I got to give props to the kid-it's a brilliant plan. Not to mention it will probably piss off the Gamemakers because they never intended for tributes to use the mines, just like Haymitch and the force field in his Games. But I'm curious if he has a plan after replanting the mines so that they don't kill him. After all, if he's no longer useful, then the Careers will see no value in him living another minute. For the kid's sake, I hope he does.

Cato examines the kid for a minute, evidently thinking it over. "Alright you can do it." Some of the other Careers begin to argue with him, but he shuts them up quickly, reminding them that this will allow them all to hunt tributes now. And with that, the District 3 boy is officially in the Career alliance. The Careers are most definitely different than most years, letting not one but two non-Careers into their alliance. It just might be their doom, and I hope for Katniss's sake it is. He begins to tell them the plan, and the Careers and Peeta grudgingly follow his orders and a few start digging up the mines from around the platforms while the others sleep. It's going to take a lot of work, probably all day, but I can't complain. The task of digging up all the mines means that the Careers are too occupied to hunt tributes, which is better for everyone hiding, not just Katniss.

For the next three hours until I can send a sponsor gift, I mostly just sit around, almost bored. The most exciting thing I do is drink two more energy drinks because I'm really tired. I didn't realize that being a mentor could be so tedious, despite being worried sick over Katniss. But her only real threat right now is dehydration, which I can't do anything about at the moment. Stupid Gamemakers for that fucking no helping for 24 hours rule. It's annoying as hell. Unfortunately she took a wrong turn somewhere, so now she's going in the wrong direction of the pond once again. Fuck, not again! She knows the signs of water on the ground, but since she keeps changing direction there must be an underground source or something. Or perhaps the Gamemakers are playing games with her? I fucking hope that's not true, because that could be very bad for her when she eventually does find water. They could do a lot worse than leading her off track of water for their own amusement. And those fucking Gamemakers would too.

Haymitch comes back to our station a few minutes before I can send a sponsor gift, and he sees on my tablet that I have about half a gallon of water ready to send Katniss.

"Kid you need to save that money for something bigger. She'll find water." he insists.

"She needs the water. She's miles from the nearest water source and she hasn't had any for at least a day." I argue back. I will not watch her be dehydrated a moment longer than I have to. There is no guarantee that she will find that pond soon, because she could take another wrong turn or something. It's hard enough to watch her in the Games as it is, so is he insisting that I shouldn't give her the little help I can?

"She'll find it. Save the money." Haymitch says. I give him a glare, and he just rolls his eyes at me, "Well alright then. I promise this will bite you in the ass later, but then I'll just get to say I told you so, so go right ahead. At least send less than half a gallon."

I sigh, but in the end I go with his compromise and only send her a pint of water. When she gets the parachute, she grins and forces herself to drink it slowly, but it's obviously gone too soon because she still looks thirsty. Apparently she takes this small amount of water as a sign that she's close to a water source, because continues walking in the right direction of the nearest pond with new confidence. Not exactly why I sent only a pint, but I'll take it. At least she's only about three miles away now. I watch her for another half hour before the effect of being up for more than 24 hours shows. I try to hide my yawn in vain.

"Kid, have you slept at all?" Haymitch asks me while pouring something from his flask in a glass of orange juice.

"Yes." I lie, but he evidently doesn't believe me.

"Go to sleep kid. She's fine, and we'll wake ya up if anything happens." he says.

"No, I'm good." I reply back stubbornly, but I can feel my eyes starting to burn from the lack of sleep.

"If you don't go to bed on your own, I'd be happy to knock you out myself." Johanna suggests with a grin. Yeah, I'm sure you would enjoy that. I sigh and roll my eyes, but decide to go with the former plan and go to sleep. I really don't need a concussion or something on top of everything else right now, and I am really tired. I trust that they would wake me up if anything goes wrong. I crawl into the second bed behind our station because the first is occupied by Finnick, and easily slip into unconsciousness, praying for no nightmares because I really don't want everyone to hear my screams.


	17. Making Some Strides

I wake up to the sounds of a busy loud room. Where the hell am I? Why is there so much noise in my room? Are the kids playing tag or something this early in the morning? I open my eyes and it takes me a minute to realize that I'm not in my room in my old Seam house, that I'm in the Mentor Room in the Capitol. Because Katniss is in the Games, and I'm her mentor.

"Well good evening Sleeping Beauty!" Haymitch smirks at me sarcastically. Evening? Shit how long was I asleep? I can't be sleeping forever, I have to watch Katniss and make sure she's safe. I glance at the clock and see that I've been out for about ten hours.

"Why'd you let me sleep so long? I needed to be up to mentor Katniss." I argue with the group of people at my station, which includes Haymitch, Finnick, and Johanna. I know I shouldn't be complaining, especially since they're only helping me and Finnick and Johanna technically don't have to be here anymore, but I'm still worried about Katniss. I'm her mentor, and I'm not being very helpful sleeping away the day.

"Oh relax your girlfriend's fine. She even found water and nothing exciting has happened all day." Johanna rolls her eyes at me. I check the screen behind her and see that Katniss has finally found the pond, and she's currently eating katniss tubers and just sitting there peacefully. Well, s peaceful as you can be in the arena. My demeanor instantly relaxes when I see that she's safe.

"What did I miss?" I ask.

"Well the Careers and Peeta mostly just dug up the mines which the District 3 boy is currently working on reactivating. Now the whole group minus the boy is on the hunt for tributes, but they just started. Besides that it's been a pretty dull day." Finnick informs me.

"Dull huh? Think they're going to try to make their own excitement tonight?" I ask, worried for Katniss's safety. The Gamemakers don't like their audience to grow bored, so if there are no deaths for a while they step in. And Gamemaker involvement is usually very bad for anyone not in the Career pack, because most of the time it either hurts them or leads them to the Career pack to be slaughtered. For getting a score of 11, Katniss really hasn't shown much 'excitement' yet which is why I'm so worried. I'm sure the Capitol is getting impatient for her to show her skills.

"Probably going to send mutts out. I haven't seen one yet." Haymitch answers me. I hope that Haymitch's eerily good intuition is correct, because the mutts won't go after Katniss because of my deal. I give Haymitch a look which says 'let's hope so' and sit down in a vacant chair.

"Well I'm going to get some dinner. Why don't you join me Gale?" Finnick states about five minutes later. I hesitate before answering, taking a glance at Katniss's screen. I am actually hungry because I haven't eaten in probably twelve hours, but I just woke up; I don't want to leave my station so soon. What if Katniss needs me? Finnick sees my hesitation for what it is and gives me a small grin.

"Come on. I bet you're hungry, and you can take your tablet with you. You can keep an eye on her while you're getting food and come right back." he offers. I agree finally, and follow him and Johanna, who at last second decided to join us, to the food room down the hall.

When we get there we quickly gather the food we want from the large machine that will give us our stomach's desire, and turn to leave with trays and drinks in hand. When we're about five feet from the door, it opens and I see two other mentors whom I believe are from Career districts walk in. One of them gives a sigh of relief when she sees us.

"Oh good I was looking for you." she says to Finnick, "You're manager just called our station and wants you upstairs to change for an appointment immediately. He didn't sound very happy he couldn't find you." she informs with a regretful smile. This middle-aged woman is evidently the other District 4 mentor, and I can tell that she feels sorry for Finnick. Maybe it's an all-around thing to feel bad for Victor's that have to do appointments. For sure I feel terrible that Finnick has to do them as well-no one deserves them.

"Alright. See you later." Finnick grimaces, sighing as he turns to leave. I'd actually forgotten that he's available for appointments since his tribute is dead. I idly wonder just how many appointments he has to do, because he's never told me. I'd guess probably a lot. For one, he's the sex symbol of Panem so he's the most popular, and second, I really doubt that all managers are as kind or understanding as Jullus. For all I know his manager gives him as many appointments as possible, while Jullus tries to keep me at the bare minimum and genuinely cares for me, I believe. I really should appreciate Jullus more than I do-if I have to do these appointments at all, he's probably the best manager there is.

The District 4 mentor goes to get food but the other mentor with her doesn't and just stares at me. What's her problem?

"Aw how cute. You can't stand to be away from your precious friend for even a moment. I'll enjoy seeing how you react when my tributes rip her to pieces. It's just so sad when a friend dies, isn't it?" She taunts me with a wicked grin, pointing to my tablet in my hands. I can feel the anger bubbling up inside and I'm about to lunge at her or at least show her how out of line and angry I am with her with words, but Johanna beats me to it.

"Like you fucking have any friends to know how it feels. You'd just rip the throat out of any idiot who was moronic enough to try, you heartless bitch." she seethes back, venom dripping from her voice. The woman's pissed, curling her hands into fists and almost growling, her strangely golden sharp teeth exposed. But before she can say or do anything, the District 4 woman is back and gently pulls her out the door with an apology to me evident on her face.

"Come on Enobaria, we need to get back. Don't want to cause trouble and have the Peacekeepers come." the District 4 mentor says as she pulls the angry woman still shooting daggers at Johanna out the door. I look over at Johanna and see that she's smirking, clearly enjoying the woman's anger. Damn, I didn't see that coming from Johanna. Not that I need anyone to fight for me, but Johanna of all people defending me is surprising.

"Thanks." I tell her, and she shrugs with a devilish grin.

"Well I hate that bitch and you just gave me the perfect excuse to give her a piece of what she fucking deserves." Johanna exclaims, and walks out the door back on the way back to the mentor room and I follow her with an amused grin. I wouldn't exactly call me and Johanna friends, but I think we're making some strides. It's a start anyway. And she really can't be as bad as she appears if Finnick of all people genuinely cares about her, and she him. I have a feeling that she's just a tough nut to crack.

Johanna and I get back to 12's station in the Mentor Room and find Haymitch sleeping off his drink, not even bothering to go to a bed but slumped over in his chair. I roll my eyes at his laziness, but perhaps I shouldn't judge-after all, I've only slept basically under force and there very well may be a time these Games where I fall asleep in my chair as well.

Johanna goes to sleep on one of the beds as soon as Finnick gets back and takes his place next to me in a chair. I'm not quite sure, but I think those two planned this-to have one of them up with me at all times, even if it means Finnick is becoming nocturnal. I feel bad that they don't even have to be here and they're doing their best to be here for me. I appreciate it, but I still don't know exactly why they're helping. There's got to be more reason than Victors stick together. I mean, Finnick is just in general a nice guy and I think he would have tried to help me anyway, but Johanna is still a mystery to me.

"Finnick, why is Johanna helping me?" I ask him after curiosity has finally gotten to me a few hours later. I know it sounds bad, but I'd rather ask Finnick than Johanna herself. I have a feeling that Johanna would either lie or the answer would be laced with sarcasm and little to no help.

"It may not seem like it, but I think she's starting to like you as a friend." he grins at me, "Don't worry, she's got a tough exterior, but when she finally lets you in she's an amazing person."

"Oh." I say. I guess I was right earlier about us making some strides towards friendship. "How did you get so close to her?" I know I might be going into dangerous territory, but I think it's better to know than to be in the dark. After all, probably most of the Victors here know already. I don't see anyone too surprised that those two are always together, including the one in the cafeteria, Enobaria.

He gives me a regretful smile, but he does answer my question. "She's just like you and me. A popular Victor that Snow wanted to go on appointments. That's how she helped me with Annie-by going on appointments and getting sponsors since I couldn't leave."

"Really? I haven't seen her go on any." I say in surprise. I can't see how with that demeanor and personality anyone in the Capitol would want to get that near her. She would just as soon tear them apart than be good on an appointment.

"That's because when her last family member died, Snow had no one to use against her anymore." Finnick informs me with a sad expression. "She…wasn't like you and me, agreeing to the appointments right away. She initially refused, being too naive then to think that Snow would actually kill her family."

"Naïve? This is Johanna Mason you're talking about, right?" I ask with a skeptical face. He gives a small chuckle before he answers.

"Yeah. It may not seem like it now or then since she won in a matter of hours once she dropped the weak act, but she was only fifteen at the time. She was stubborn, and believed herself almost invincible. When Snow killed all of her family in an 'accident' about a week after she returned to her District, her nativity was shattered. That's when she complied, and put on the beginnings of the tough girl act you see now."

"But you said that her family died." I say in protest. How could she have helped Finnick by going on appointments if she didn't have anyone left to save?

"Her nine year old brother was spared, probably to show her how serious Snow was without completely freeing her from the appointment s like Haymitch. So for the first year after she was Victor, I helped her through it. I was the closest in age to her for Victors that had to do appointments so I guided her through it like I did you. She said that I reminded her of her older brother and I took on that role for her, calling to make sure she was okay or just to cheer her up."

"When did…the appointments stop?" I question hesitantly, not wanting to ask when did her brother die. Because of course he was probably killed for some reason if she no longer goes on appointments.

Finnick lowers his voice as he answers my heavy question, "Around Annie's Victor tour, about a year and a half after she began appointments. He died of pneumonia, and with his death she was not only free of appointments, but vowed to never love anyone again. She would never put herself or another person through what she went through, so Victors are the only people she would ever get close to now."

"Oh." I respond, still processing the information. Now that I know Johanna a little better, I can see why she puts on her demeanor. How could she not, when she has no one left to love? It's her shield, her way of keeping others away while at the same time keeping herself from caring too much. I might be the same if it were me.

"That's part of the reason we decided to help you with Katniss. We know that she's part of the reason you do appointments, and we know that the only completely safe way to love someone is for them to be another Victor." Finnick informs me. It's strange to think about, but absolutely true. Victors are the only truly immune from dying because someone didn't do appointments.

"What's the other part of the reason?" I ask.

"Well honestly, I wasn't quite sure what would be left of you if she died, and I don't want to find out." he says with regret evident in his eyes. So he knows then-how I can't live without her. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's nice to know people care about whether you live or die that aren't family members. But I guess Victors do make up their own strange connected family, minus maybe a few of the Careers. Finnick was right before; we probably are the only ones who completely understand each other.

A few minutes after our discussion, I hear from the station next to me a string of curse words coming out of one of the mentors. Shit, what's wrong with them? My guess is that their tribute is probably close to being a victim of the Careers.

I glance up at the center screen and I freeze with terror for a moment. No its not the Careers, and it's not only the station next to me's tribute that's in trouble. Because when I see it, I know the Gamemakers have felt that the Games are too boring and they're stepping in to make excitement. But for once, Haymitch was wrong-it's not mutts. No, it's a wall of fire in the forest, coming right for Katniss. And that's when I know-they chose this particular torture because of her. Because she's the Girl on Fire, and they want to see her burn.

"Shit. Get up Katniss! Run!" I yell at the screen in front of me in a sheer panic.


	18. Girl On Fire

"Wake up! Run!" I continue to yell at the screen, not caring at all that I am undoubtedly getting odd looks from the others in the room. I don't really give a shit-they don't have anyone they love about to get burned to death by the fucking Gamemakers' fire wall.

She finally does what I've been telling her, opening her eyes to the sound of the stampede of animals fleeing the forest fire. It takes her a few seconds to understand, but when she does her face has an expression of sheer panic as she fumbles with the rope holding her to the tree. Once she gets it undone and quickly frees herself from the sleeping bag and places her things in it, she jumps down from the branch she was on and runs for her life. I'm sure my panicked expression matches hers as I will her to run like hell away from the damn fire. Luckily she's fast, faster than probably any runner I've come across before. As she bolts across the forest floor to escape the inferno, I'm happy to say that she's outrunning it enough to be safe for now. But as soon as I'm about to let out a sigh of relief, a burning tree crashes in front of her, nearly taking her out. She changes direction after that, stumbling a bit but never falling. She's coughing from smoke inhalation, but she never lets up on her pace, adrenaline pushing her over the edge and making her go so fast that she is actually gaining. She can escape this, she's fast enough, I realize.

Unfortunately the Gamemakers realize this too, because that's when the first fireballs fly. One nearly hits her, but she dodges it at last second and keeps fleeing. At one point she jumps over a burning log, clearing it by just over two inches I'd bet. But she doesn't appear to be harmed by it, because she keeps running, barely escaping the fireballs which curiously seem to be aiming right at her. Damn the bastard who's shooting the fireballs. I swear if I ever find out who they are I'm going to fucking kill them. One fireball near her head she ducks, but it sears her hair a little. Oh well, better her hair than her head-if she noticed she doesn't show it.

She keeps fleeing the area on fire and dodging fireballs for a few minutes, and then the worst possible thing happens-she gets hit by one. The commenters laugh that the Girl on Fire is actually the girl on fire. Fuck you all, you damn bastards-this isn't funny. Come on Katniss, just get out of there, please. I know you're hurt but I'm going to send something as soon as you stop. It's not a fatal blow, but as it grazes her leg I can tell that it burned her. She pulled off the fabric that is on fire, and I can tell that was a bad idea. She winces, but keeps running until she finds a pond, and the fireballs curiously stop. Really? Fucking Gamemakers just wanted her to get hit and stop the fireballs when it happens?

As she gets to the pond, she slowly places her hands in the water which I'm certain got burned when she tore off the fabric that caught fire. She is still coughing from the smoke, but otherwise it appears that she'll live. That's a small relief, but I'm still in pain because she's in pain. I need to help her, need to get her medicine-and fast. She slowly places her leg in the water, and lets out a small cry of pain as she does, steeling herself to look at her burn for the first time. She's not good with wounds or anything, and while she can deal with pain I know this is probably the worst she's been in thus far. And I can't deal with watching her be in pain-it would be agony to watch this much longer without helping her when I can.

I quickly glance at the sponsor money, and frantically look in the sponsor gifts available for something, anything to take this pain away. I find something after a minute-it's a Capitol-made burn cream, which not only instantly cools and takes away the pain, but works miraculously fast to heal burns. This is it, this is what I'm going to send her. But then I look at the price, and I feel useless again. This is a premium kind of gift, and the further along one gets in the Games, the more expensive something is. The price is astronomical, and unfortunately even with the ridiculous amount of sponsor money I have, it's not enough. Not by a long shot. Fucking Gamemakers probably jacked up the price so I would be hard-pressed to be able to send it.

"Shit." I curse out loud.

"What is it?" Finnick asks.

"I don't have enough. Even with all this fucking sponsor money it's not enough." I answer, dropping the tablet on my lap and pulling on my hair in frustration.

"Here, give that to me." Haymitch says, and grabs my tablet and glances at it, "Well, looks like we can't send it right now. She's tough, she'll get through."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I yell at him, the anger and frustration bursting out the surface and my panic is evident, "She needs that damn medicine! I need to give it to her, need more spon-" I continue, but then I feel a hard pressure at the back of my head by my neck and my world goes black.

As I come back to consciousness, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings without opening my eyes yet, I feel almost disoriented. What the hell happened? I hear loud noises which confuse me at first but then I slowly come to realize where I am-the Mentor Room. Where Katniss just got burned by a fireball, and I was in a panic because there wasn't enough medicine for burn medicine. I slowly open my eyes, my vision a bit fuzzy and black around the edges. There is an immense pain at the back of my head, and I rub the sore spot with my hand as I blink rapidly for a few seconds, clearing my vision. I look around for a minute, getting my barings and still trying to figure out why my world went black. I see that I'm still in my chair where I was yelling at Haymitch, and Haymitch and Johanna are in chairs next to me. Haymitch is drinking something from his flask and paying attention to the screen in front of him for once. Johanna sees I'm conscious and gives me a smirk.

"Feel better?" she says to me. I give her a confused look.

"Feel better? What the hell happened to me?" I ask.

"Well you were panicking so much and not listening to us, so Johanna here knocked you unconscious so we could deal with this calmly." Haymitch answers me. Knocked me out? So that's why my head hurts. I'm kind of pissed that she did that.

"Damn Johanna, why'd you do that?" I ask her angrily, rubbing my sore neck.

"I don't want my knocking out skills to get rusty. Plus you woke me up with all you're yelling and you needed to calm the fuck down. I didn't see that happening while you were awake so I took care of it." she grins at me.

"Really? That was you're solution?" I roll my eyes at her, still pissed.

"Yep." Johanna smirks back. I'm about to spit back at her why it was a bad fucking idea, but Haymitch cuts me off.

"Just say thank you kid. We're getting her the damn medicine soon." he tells me. I huff, but I let the knocking out thing go for now. I need to get my focus back on Katniss.

"How? I don't have enough money for the medicine." I try to say as calmly as I can. Don't want Johanna to get any ideas and have her 'not let her skills go rusty' excuse again.

"We combined her money and Peeta's, but it was still a little short. So Finnick is out now finding the rest of the money." Haymitch answers me.

"Finnick? How?" I ask.

"You know how." he answers me with a stare, and I nod in understanding. I automatically feel guilty as well as so thankful to Finnick for everything. I do know how-it's the same thing he said that Johanna did for him with his Annie-he's going on appointments. I will truly never stop owing that man, especially when Katniss wins.

"So…how long was I out?" I ask after a minute of silence.

"Only about an hour. I must say, that's better than I expected." Johanna answers me, clearly proud of her skills. Damn, an hour knocked unconscious for one press in the neck? Pretty useful skill, if you ask me. I bet that's what Johanna does with her free time-find ways to hurt or knock people out just for her own amusement.

"Yeah, well don't do it again." I order her, even though I don't really expect her to comply.

She laughs at that, like I predicted, "Well don't give me a reason to again then."

I roll my eyes at her, but drop the subject and go back to focusing on Katniss's screen. She has her burned leg in the pond, and she's laying there dozed off. She's not exactly in the safest spot to sleep in, but I figure she can't really climb a tree right now with that burn without being in extreme pain. At least the grass around her is quite tall, and her burn in the water is probably the best thing for it right now until I have enough sponsor money for the medicine. I watch her sleeping, but watch the center screen more than check on her.

When I glance up, the screen shows a red headed girl scavenging for food. Oh right, the girl from District 5. I had actually completely forgotten about her until now, so focused on Katniss and watching the Careers and Peeta's ever move. I bet that's her strategy-be invisible and forgettable to the other tributes until the very end. Not a bad way to go actually. I hope that Katniss hasn't forgotten her, though I really doubt the girl would be much competition in a death match against Katniss. Even without a bow, Katniss could probably take the girl on with just a knife. She had told me that the District 5 girl spent a majority of her time on edible plants in training, and couldn't really handle weapons. Perhaps she would be the best person for Katniss's final opponent, though more likely than not it will be a Career like usual.

The screen switches to Thresh, the huge guy from District 11 I was worried about. But he is luckily nowhere near Katniss-in fact; I believe he's the only one who ventured into the huge field of grains. Oh right-District 11 is agriculture. He probably knows what plants are good to eat or not. He's not doing much, just chewing on some type of grain that I'm sure he knew was edible that is grown around him, keeping a watch on the area. Not exactly necessary to watch for other tributes since he's the only one for miles, but he could be watching for mutts.

The center screen goes back to the Careers and Peeta, who are coughing from the smoke that they probably inhaled but otherwise they seem okay. Looks like none of them got attacked by fireballs. No, that fucking little entertainment was especially for Katniss it seems, who the commenters are still chuckling over because of the 'girl on fire' thing. I should be more pissed at Cinna for coming up with that theme for her, but I realize that he could have never seen that coming. And he does actually like Katniss, so he's probably beating himself up for being part of the cause for this particular torture. I would. Hell, I'm beating myself up anyway, and I had nothing to do with it. I just hate more than anything to see her in pain, and I hate that I couldn't help her right away. It makes me feel almost useless against the bastards who undoubtedly planned this.

They are still going more slowly than they normally would, but only the tribute from District 1 is checking carefully for snares anymore. Shit, so much for that lie helping her.

"Are you sure that she does snares? I haven't seen another one yet." Cato asks Peeta suspiciously.

"Yes I'm sure. Isn't the point of snares to not see them?" Peeta asks with confidence, but I can tell that he's losing the confidence of the Careers in this strategic lie.

"I think you're lying." Clove says with a glare. Fuck. Maybe once I get this burn medicine I'll send Katniss something to tie a snare with once she has more sponsor money. She needs to keep this charade up, and to do that she'll need a snare. I know she doesn't know a lot of snares, but even a simple one would help the image Peeta created for her.

"Why would I lie about that? I'm helping you find her, remember?" Peeta replies, his eyebrows going up in arches. Yeah, you kind of are helping them but not really. I glance back at Katniss's screen and see that she's still sleeping by her pond. But then I glance at Peeta's and my heart drops to my stomach. He actually is helping them find her, though I doubt he knew it. Because they happen to be only about 100 yards away from her. Shit. Hopefully they turn another way or don't see her. But of course that's too much to ask.

"Hey look!" Glimmer announces, whispering and pointing to Katniss. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Wake up Katniss! Run!

"Shit." I say out loud.

The Careers grin wickedly and quickly make their way with Peeta towards her sleeping form. But luckily they're too loud for her, because she wakes up with a start and evidently hears them. She quickly gets up from her dozing spot, luckily having her backpack on and sprints in the opposite direction from the Careers. Her leg has to be killing her, but I guess the pain can be ignored when she's about fifty yards from death. The Careers whoop and sprint after her, but she's got a lead and she's faster, even with her burn. But she can't run forever-there are six of them and one of her, and they have long range weapons. She realizes this as well, and after running about another sixty yards, she begins to climb a tree. Even with the burn, she goes up the tree like it's nothing.

By the time the Careers and Peeta arrive at the base of her tree, she's about thirty feet up. The Careers are all grinning like they've been given the best present ever, weapons ready.

"Why hello." she shouts down with a light tone. What the fuck is she doing? Oh right, she's giving the audience a show. The Careers look taken aback by her mood, but Cato answers back once he recovers quickly.

"Hello there. How are you doing?" he replies, matching her tone. Ah, so he knows how to play the audience as well. Didn't think a Career would do that.

"It's a bit warm for my taste." she answers back with a grin. Yeah you could fucking say that. Fire and fireballs, not to mention that I think that the Gamemakers are purposefully making the daytime temperature extra hot.

"Yes I agree." Cato replies, still playing along. But I have a feeling his patience is running out on this little game.

"It feels better up here. Why don't you join me?" she offers with a grin.

"What the hell is she doing?" Johanna asks me, lost because no one taunts the Careers. Especially if they're trapped in a tree.

"She's part squirrel. She can climb fast and high." I answer back, thinking of my joking for so long in the woods about her climbing skills. Plus she weighs less than all those Careers and Peeta, so she can climb higher than them just based off that. Johanna gives me a look like I'm crazy, but she probably knows that the part squirrel is a figure of speech. She goes back to watching the screen.

"Don't mind if I do." Cato answers back with a menacing grin, eager for a kill.

"Here, take this Cato." Glimmer says as she offers him the bow. Katniss's eyes give a slight expression of rage and possessiveness when she sees her bow so close and in the hands of a Career, but says nothing. Cato declines the offer in favor of his sword, and begins to climb. As soon as he gets a foot off the ground, Katniss begins climbing even higher, quickly and way out of reach. Cato falls to the ground with a thud when she's about fifty feet up, but he's unfortunately fine.

Glimmer takes her turn, and Katniss climbs up to about 80 feet. Glimmer stops when she is precariously close to breaking her branch, and awkwardly tries to hit Katniss with an arrow. But she's really bad with it luckily, and it lands a few feet away in a branch. Katniss takes the arrow and taunts her with it, grinning. Glimmer is frustrated, and gets down. The Careers gather up again, trying to come up with a plan.

They argue for a few minutes until Peeta exclaims, "Oh just let her stay up there. It's not like she's going anywhere and we can deal with it in the morning." Loud enough so Katniss can hear. The Careers agree after realizing they don't have much choice, and gather firewood. Thank you Peeta, for at least saving her for now. She'll figure out a way to be safe. All she needs is time.


	19. Escape

As the Careers and Peeta settle down for the night at the base of Katniss's tree, I frantically try to think of any way at all she can escape this. She could wait for them to fall asleep and quietly climb down, but the Careers aren't stupid enough to let that be an option. Surely they'll have a guard all night. She could try jumping to another tree, but that's dangerous and it would be loud so she wouldn't get very far. Plus with that burn, even with medicine that is hopefully coming soon, she wouldn't want to risk it. Come on Gale think. There has to be a way out of this. Nothing's impossible.

I'm so deep in thought that I almost miss the exchange that Katniss has with someone in the tree next to her. I see Katniss trying to be quiet and gesturing with just hands and it appears that whoever is doing the same to her. Who is it? I look up at the center screen, and find out. It's the little girl, Rue from District 11. The little girl is pointing up to something above Katniss. Katniss looks up and freezes. What is it? Katniss doesn't scare easily, and she certainly wouldn't show her fear on the fucking Games unless it was serious. The announcers answer my question before I find out myself. Shit. There is a tracker jacker nest, which are so much worse than regular wasps or bees. Every time Katniss and I come across a nest in the woods, we immediately turn around. They cause horrible hallucinations, and if you get enough stings it's deadly. So naturally it would be in her tree, where she is stuck. As if there aren't enough problems tonight for Katniss. But…wait a minute. She could saw it off with her knife and send it crashing down to the Careers! It's dangerous for her because of the risk of being stung, but if she could do it fast enough she could hopefully escape this mess mostly unscathed. And if she does it now, the smoke has probably sedated the tracker jackers from the recent fire, so that decreases her chances of being stung. The only problem is that the Careers will undoubtedly hear her sawing and leave the tree before she could finish.

But Katniss solves that problem herself. She starts precariously climbing up the slender limbs right before the anthem begins for the death toll for the day. Of course, the anthem. Why didn't I think of that? It will be loud enough to drown out her sawing, and if she can do it fast enough it will take the Careers out right now. I knew she was smart enough to figure a way out of this, I think proudly.

As I watch her take a deep breath and begin to saw through the branch, the commenters figure out what I did before about the smoke sedating them. Shit, will the tracker jackers even be provoked up enough to attack when she throws down the nest? Hopefully the fall will anger them enough.

I feel a light tap on my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my chair because I was so focused on Katniss. I turn around for a brief second and I'm relieved to say that it's Finnick.

"I would send the medicine now. We have enough money for it." He grins at me.

"Thank you. Really, you have no idea how thankful I am." I tell him as I press the button for the gift to send. Katniss will have a nice surprise when she gets back down to her supplies, and I can breathe a little easier knowing she won't be in so much pain.

"I know." he says with a smile, shrugging it off and sitting down in a chair.

When the anthem ends, unfortunately Katniss had only gotten through about three fourths of the branch, and she climbs down slowly to her sleeping bag. But she doesn't look too upset that she didn't finish it, so I'm assuming she has a plan. And knowing her like I do, I think I know what it is. She's going to go up at dawn to finish it as quietly as she can. The tracker jackers will be more riled up anyway at that time, so it will be all the better when it comes crashing down on the sleeping, unexpecting Careers and Peeta. She looks so relieved and happy to find the medicine when she gets down that I feel almost happy again, despite the situation she is currently in. I have hope now that she's going to escape death from the Careers this time, and maybe even take a few out in the process.

I'm so caught up in my revelation that I didn't hear Haymitch whispering my name. I can tell by the time I do hear that he's said it a few times by the annoyance in his voice.

"What?" I ask.

"It's sunset." he tells me blatantly.

"So what?" I say, confused.

"It's sunset on the third day." he elaborates with a knowing look. Suddenly it dawns on me. The third night-my deal. I have to go back to that awful witch of a girl who happens to be a Gamemakers daughter to keep the mutts off Katniss. I groan internally, but I have to go. Haymitch sees my understanding and drops his voice even lower, so that I'm certain only I can hear.

"Listen kid, we have to find a way to get you out of here but it can't look suspicious. Any ideas?" he says. I shake my head at first, but then I think of a half-baked plan. Everyone in here is well aware that I care a lot for Katniss, and they have seen how freaked out and stressed I get when she's in pain or in trouble. If I could somehow look like I couldn't deal with it right now, I could make it look like I just have to cool off for a while. I could be gone for a couple of hours and no one would think any differently.

I tell Haymitch my plan in a low voice, and he calls over first Johanna, then Finnick. Of course, my two 'helpers' will be involved. Once we have the plan, we talk at a normal level for about twenty minutes. I try to make my expressions and gestures more and more frustrated as time goes on, building up the tension so that anyone watching me before the plan sets in motion won't seem suspicious. When I feel the time is right, I get the ball rolling.

I stand up, and yell something about not caring to Johanna, who yells back to me something about how I care too much for someone who's going to probably die tomorrow morning. I pick up a glass bottle on the table and throw it at the wall, where it shatters to pieces with a fuming expression on my face as I get my 'anger out.' Finnick steps in and tries to calm me down, and says out loud that I need to take a break for a while, and pushes me out of the room with my tablet in hand. Once we get to the elevator which will take me up to the 12th floor of the training center, Finnick and I drop the act and grin. That was almost too easy, and it was actually pretty fun. I do have a lot of anger and frustration, but I don't think I would have gone quite as far as throwing the glass bottle unless I was acting. Seeing the glass shatter was actually pretty satisfying for my frustration. But I really doubt anyone in that room would question it too closely. When we arrive on my floor, Jullus is waiting for me with clothes in hand.

"I must say, that was too good. Did you see the other mentors faces?" Finnick grins at me.

"No, I didn't." I reply with my own amused expression.

"They were priceless. I'd bet anything that our plan worked perfectly." he tells me. I give him a half smile, and Jullus comes up to us.

"I was wondering how you would get out of there. Finnick, you must tell me how while Gale is gone." he says with relief, handing me the clothes.

"While I'm gone? Don't you have to come with me?" I ask him, confused.

"I would, but seeing as you aren't supposed to be doing this it at all it would look too suspicious if I'm with you. But don't worry, I trust the driver to not say anything, and he will take care of you. Just avoid contact when you're in public and try not to be recognized." Jullus tells me. I nod and go to my room for a quick shower, because I haven't had one since the Games started. I probably smell disgusting but I really don't care. It's not like any of the other Victors that have tributes still alive have probably had a shower since then either. I finish and change in about fifteen minutes, and I go quickly to the elevator, where Finnick and Jullus are standing.

"I'll be here until you come back so it looks like I'm just calming you down. Haymitch called up and said that everyone believed your little outburst, so no worries on that end. I'll keep an eye on her tablet for you." Finnick says.

"Thanks." I reply. I trust Finnick with her tablet, and I'm sure he will take care of her if something unexpected happens.

"Good luck, and don't get caught." Jullus exclaims with worry plastered on his face as I hit the elevator button to go downstairs. I don't reply, but I do think of a comment I would have made to ease his worry-illegal activities and I are well acquainted. I didn't hunt for years and not get in trouble to get caught now in the Capitol. I'll be just fine.

When I come back about two hours later, other than fresh red marks which I'll take care of soon I'm pretty content. I didn't get caught going in or out of either the Training Center nor the Gamemaker's house because there happened to be no one around, and I have guaranteed another two days mutt-free for Katniss. When I step off the elevator Finnick and Jullus turn to look at me from their places on the couch in relief, and I grin at them.

"Two more days." I tell them vaguely, though I know that they will know what it means. They nod in response. "How's Katniss?" I ask. I know I probably sound like an addict always asking about her safety the second I wake up or return, but I don't really fucking care what people think. At least these two understand, anyway.

"Sleeping. As is everyone else except for Marisol who's guarding right now." Finnick answers and hands me her tablet.

I just kind of play around with the tablet for a minute, glancing at her vitals and such. When I take a tentative look at the sponsor money, I'm in for a pleasant surprise. She has more sponsors? I didn't expect that, especially since she's currently treed with six guards below her. I guess some people actually have faith in the tracker jacker nest drop that will happen most likely at dawn. For that I can't complain.

I take a quick shower again and put on the medicine that instantly eases the pain of my new marks, and change into regular clothes before going out to meet Finnick. But before we go downstairs, I scarf down an Awake bar. I know I promised myself not to use them during the Games, but this is an emergency. I haven't slept in over twenty four hours again (if you don't count Johanna's knock out practice), and I'm not about to fall asleep on Katniss when she's treed by Careers. I'll crash when she's safe again.

I take the second Awake bar that I ordered down with us for later, and right before we walk into the Mentor room I put on a calm but still frustrated expression. I get more than a few looks when I walk in, but most of them are ones of concern and sympathy. One of the Career mentors, the same woman that taunted me earlier rolls her eyes at me, but for once I decide to ignore it. I sit down next to Haymitch and Johanna, and Finnick goes to sleep in one of the beds behind us.

The rest of the night is mostly uneventful, other than the changing of guards from Marisol to Glimmer. Glimmer, however, is not the most alert guard, and falls asleep about two hours into her guard shift. All the better for Katniss. If only she wasn't asleep then she could climb down the tree and escape now, but I know it's just wishful thinking. At least when she drops the tracker jacker nest on them they will all be asleep. Well except for Peeta, who's been wide awake just lying there the whole time. What the fuck? He's not the guard. But then I realize, he's either making sure Katniss is alright or he's figured out what she's going to do with the nest. Maybe that's why she has sponsors. I forgot that she had acted like they had planned for Peeta to be with the Careers, so he's probably still working the star-crossed lovers angle. I'm not amused by this, but at least he's not trying to kiss her or anything instead of being with the Careers. I'm not quite sure I could have handled watching that.

When dawn is approaching, Katniss wakes up and quietly packs her supplies. She drinks some water and eats a cracker and a piece of dried beef that she undoubtedly found in her backpack before she begins to climb back up to the tracker jacker branch. I don't quite know if it's a good or bad thing that the tracker jackers are obviously not sedated anymore, because I see one is lazily flying outside the nest as she begins to saw quietly but quickly. It's more of a risk that she will be stung this way, but if she can pull off getting the nest to go down quick enough the tracker jackers will be pissed and attack their sleeping victims on the ground. She eventually gets it sawed off and throws it down, but not before she gets stung by two, one on her neck and one on her cheek, which she quickly pulls the stingers out of. Shit. Oh well, at least it's only two-that's not fatal.

The chaos on the ground when the nest splits open, however, very well can be fatal. Peeta, seeing as he was actually awake, is the first one up and running, screaming through the chaos to his allies to run to the nearby lake. If they can get to the lake on time they might be able to get the tracker jackers attention away from them. I see that Peeta has actually gotten a few stings, but the Careers have gotten far more. Cato, Clove, and Marvel all run after Peeta fairly quickly, leaving their weapons where they are, but they all have at least four or five stings. Marisol is not as quick and receives about the same amount of stings as the other three Careers, but she does follow them in time to the lake and gets away. Glimmer, however, is not so lucky. Seeing as she was the closest to the nest when it erupted, she got the worst of it. She's frantic and lashing the bow in her hand around, trying in vain to get what must be at least fifty tracker jackers away from her. As she stumbles around screaming and falls down after a minute, I know without a doubt that she's a goner. She has far too many stings for it not to be fatal.

Katniss climbs down the tree and stumbles a bit when she gets down, obviously woozy from the fast acting tracker jacker venom. But she goes towards Glimmer's oozing and almost unrecognizable form with a purpose. Luckily all of Glimmer's tracker jackers have left, so Katniss is safe enough to get what was always rightfully hers-the bow and arrows. She has to break what were Glimmer's fingers with a rock to free the bow, and she struggles to push Glimmer on her side to get the sheath of arrows, but she succeeds eventually. She stumbles running with her prize, and makes it about fifty feet before she collapses on the ground in a small ditch. Shit, that's not good. At least all the predators in these Games with the exception of Thresh, who is far away, are in the same or worse condition she is.

I steel a glance at Peeta's screen, and see that he and the four Careers that made it out are in the lake. Marvel was stung again when he came up for air, but other than that when they come out dripping wet the tracker jackers have left. The girls collapse on the ground almost as soon as they get out of the lake right where they are. Marvel makes it almost to the tent about thirty yards away where the boy from District 3 is before he falls to the ground unconscious. Cato and Peeta, however, make it further, and have yet to collapse. Peeta I can almost understand since it appears that he only got stung twice, but Cato I don't understand. He's got at least five stings that I can see. Maybe he's a little better because he's the biggest and apparently the only one of the Careers or Peeta with the sense to pull out the stingers, but it's still remarkable.

Cato gets up with a look of vengeance, but even then he seems a little disoriented. Guess the venom is finally kicking in.

"I'm going to kill her." He seethes, and begins to stalk off in the direction they just fleed. Shit, shit, shit. With Katniss unconscious not very far away from that spot, if he can make it she's dead. Please don't get there Cato. Please, anyone do something to prevent this. I plead, panicking internally.

And I'm shocked to say that someone does listen to me. Because that's when Peeta lunges for Cato.


	20. The Price

As Peeta makes contact with Cato's massive form, they stumble to the ground and get up quickly. Cato's eyes go wide at first almost like he can't believe what just happened, so I'm guessing he's hallucinating or something. Or maybe he's just surprised that Peeta had the balls to attack a Career like that again. But as Peeta stares him down, Cato composes himself and smirks.

"So Lover boy wants to play." he snickers, "I'd hoped that I'd be the one to kill you anyway."

Peeta glares and has a knife in hand, one that he evidently brought with him since he was actually awake and aware of the nest falling towards them. He lunges once again, and the two boys wrestle on the ground for a while. It reminds me of a few days ago when Peeta fought the District 4 boy after the bloodbath. But this is different-it's not a surprise attack, and the opponent is far more advanced of a fighter than the District 4 boy was. Plus with both boys disoriented from the venom, there is a lack of pure focus in their eyes that will make killing each other a bit difficult.

They grapple around, but often lose their grip on the other-it would almost be amusing to watch if it wasn't so serious. Peeta has yet to cut Cato with his knife, swinging it around but missing every time, I'm guessing from the venom affecting him. Perhaps he's even seeing more than one Cato in a delusion, because he always knifes to the left or right of the actual Cato, but doesn't appear to believe he's missing him. The boys fall back from each other, and Cato gets up hastily while Peeta struggles to stand straight.

What the fuck is Peeta doing anyway, fighting Cato when he's so evidently affected by the venom? Did he think that he could take him because Cato had more stings? To be perfectly honest, I'm shocked that both of them are even conscious still. Everyone else that was stung is already on the ground where they fell. I especially don't understand why Cato, who has at least five stings, is conscious more than anything. And it appears that the venom is affecting him more slowly than anyone else. It simply does not make any fucking sense. Even the commenters are wondering this. I take a quick glance to his mentor, the bitch Enobaria, and see that she's smirking. She knows something that I, the commenters, and probably everyone except Cato don't know. What is it? What the fuck did he do to not be so affected by the venom? If it was just pulling out the stingers then Katniss, who has far less stings, would have made it a lot further than about fifty feet from the tree before she collapsed. But very soon Cato answers our question himself.

Cato smirks at the disoriented Peeta, who is struggling to keep his focus while Cato stares at him with amusement.

"Lover Boy doesn't know how to handle a little venom, I see. It's too bad that you've never experienced it before like I have." Cato says to Peeta mockingly, who doesn't reply. What? Experienced the venom? Cato has had tracker jacker venom in his system before? I would assume that he just had a run in with them, it was just an accident, but Enobaria's smirk tells me that's not the case. What the fuck did she do, inject it in him for training to build up a tolerance? That's sick.

Cato looks like he's having the time of his life- even being said, the venom is obviously affecting him despite any tolerance he has. He whips out a knife from his back pocket that I wasn't aware he had and lunges for Peeta, who still fights back but it's clear that he's losing it. Cato easily pins him down now and with his knife, jabs Peeta in the chest and abdomen once, twice, five times, the blood seeping out to the hard dirt on the ground. Shit. Cato gets up and wickedly grins at Peeta, who is writhing in pain, dragging himself away on the dirt with one hand while holding his wounded stomach in the other. Cato laughs darkly and stalks off in Katniss's direction once again, but the venom finally takes over and he falls unconscious after getting about ten yards.

I can't believe it- Peeta very well may have saved Katniss's life just now. I don't know if he fought Cato to save Katniss or if he was just hallucinating, but it doesn't really matter anymore. The price of his vain attempt to kill Cato is undeniably going to be his life.

You would think I wouldn't care or even be glad that Peeta is evidently not going to win because of Katniss, but I'm not. I feel guilty, and actually have pity for this boy who just an hour ago I hated because of his feelings for my girl and joining up with the Careers. As I watch Peeta in what are most definitely his last minutes, just lying there holding his bloody torso and writhing in pain, I want to run away. I want to close my eyes and not watch this, make it all go away like a child would. Which sounds incredibly stupid since I've killed people myself-I'm no stranger to death or watching others die. Sure, I knew he was going to die eventually. He had to if Katniss was going to win, and I didn't even particularly like him. He basically blackmailed me so he could go with his star-crossed lovers angle, which I still hate with a passion but I can't deny that it probably got Katniss sponsors. And I actually know him, have talked to him and know something about him, unlike the people I killed. Besides Jacob, I didn't really know any backstories or care about the people that I either directly or indirectly had a hand in their deaths in my Games. And now I have to watch yet another person that I actually know die. It's a fucking horrible feeling.

"I'm sorry Katniss." Peeta says out loud, shakily and gasping for air. He pants for a few seconds, and almost whispers what could be his last words, "You have to win. He needs you."

What? He needs you? What the fuck Peeta, you can't just announce to the entire fucking country that I need Katniss to live. That I love her.

"What the fuck is he doing?" I whisper to Haymitch in a panic.

"He's giving her a new angle." he replies almost solemnly. Oh of course, now that he's almost dead the star-crossed lover angle thing is going to be gone as well. I can't believe that with his last minutes Peeta is still trying to help Katniss. He must really love her, as much as I hate to admit it. Peeta whispers something under his breath that is inaudible, and closes his eyes.

BOOM!

Haymitch's tablet goes black. No one at our station says anything for a long time after the hovercraft takes Peeta's body away. I stare off into space, just thinking. We all knew Peeta was going to die. But being my first year as a mentor, it's sort of new for me. Spending time with a tribute during the prep week and watching them in the Games since it started is something different than just watching at home. The cannons seem louder, more personal than just watching in my own District. I almost feel hollow, like I failed somehow even though Peeta wasn't my tribute, even though I didn't particularly like him. Even though I had practically signed his death certificate the second Katniss volunteered. It feels more real now, like it's my fault. But it's not, not really. It's these fucking Games, the fucking Capitol's fault. That bastard Snow's fault. The Games have to end; the Capitol is so fucking wrong for doing this. All of it. And as Victors, we have to watch it year after year, adding indirect deaths to our kill lists. The Capitol has to go down, if for nothing else then to stop killing children and to stop destroying us Victors.

How do the other Victors deal with this? Well, I know how Haymitch does it-he drinks himself into oblivion and usually just doesn't try to help. In fact, that's exactly what he's doing now-he orders a bottle of brown liquor and starts downing it. I'm guessing Johanna deals with it by not caring at all, or at least pretending she doesn't. After all, she didn't seem too upset when she told me before the Games started that her tributes were bloodbaths. I don't know how Finnick does it. Actually, I really don't know how Finnick does anything, since he seems to be a nice person to basically everyone and nothing seems to affect his mood, despite all the shit he has to go through. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it at all. If I feel this guilty and hollow over someone I didn't even really care about, what am I going to do with tributes that I genuinely like in the years to come? What am I going to do if Katniss…no, I definitely wouldn't be able to deal with that. I wouldn't even try. I'd end it the minute she was gone.

Haymitch evidently sees my blank staring into space, and probably figures that I'm trying in vain to come up with a way to handle this. I feel cold glass being pressed into my hand, and I look down. It's a glass of the liquor that Haymitch was drinking. I know I said that I never want to be like Haymitch, but I don't see another good plan at this point. It's just one drink. I take a large sip, and it burns my throat but that pain almost helps me. But I can't start this, I can't turn into Haymitch. This one drink will undoubtedly lead to more if I don't stop now, so I tentatively place the glass down on the station and in a daze make my way to the beds behind us. The day and a half at least without sleep, the evident crash from the two Awake bars, and the hollowness I currently feel are catching up with me. I feel it's all drowning me into some sea of heaviness and emptiness at the same time, though that makes no sense at all. I can't think straight. Almost as soon as I lay my head down on the pillow I'm out cold.

When I wake, I feel stiff from head to toe, and not very rested. I had so many nightmares in my sleep that I still feel tired, even though I'm sure I've been unconscious for hours. My nightmares, which are usually about my Games, have some new features added to them now. A gift from the 74th Hunger Games that I wish I could send back. But it's much too late for that, and now I have new people haunting my nightmares, blaming me for their deaths.

Peeta featured prominently in my nightmares, predictably so, as I relive his fight with Cato in the middle of my own Games. I see him coming for me, walking side by side with little Jacob. Though Jacob has a slash through his neck and Peeta has his knife wounds in his torso, they walk like they're alive, and they're mad at me. Blaming me for killing them, for not saving them. Coming after me with weapons while Cato is laughing evilly in the background. I am in front of my family, Katniss, and strangely even Finnick, trying to protect them from the corpses that are out for revenge. But it's futile, and they walk through me like ghosts, and begin to slash everyone behind me while I try in vain to stop them, with laughter echoing in the background at my attempts.

I slowly sit up in the bed and stretch out my muscles as much as I can before walking over to my station where Haymitch and Finnick are sitting. When they see me they give me a terse nod, and I sit down without speaking for a minute.

"How long was I out?" I ask quietly.

"About fourteen hours. We figured you needed the rest and time to cope so we didn't wake you." Finnick explains. I feel guilty about that and not being there for Katniss when neither of them really has to be here, but I guess what Finnick said was true. I did need the sleep, and I probably did need to be somewhat alone to deal with Peeta's death. "The first is always the hardest." Finnick continues, "Even knowing it's coming, even if you don't like them, you always feel guilty when you're tributes die."

"Does..does it ever go away? The feeling?" I ask, even though I feel so vulnerable for doing so. I feel weak, and I hate it. I hate that I'm showing my weakness to them. But I have to know.

Finnick gives me a small, sad smile. "No. But that's the price of being a Victor. Sometimes I think that the dead are the lucky ones." he replies regretfully. The price of winning. Yes, that's quite a large trade-off for living through these fucking Games. The nightmares. The appointments if you're popular. The guilt of not saving your tributes, watching them die year after year. I suppose he's right in a sense-if you die in the Games then you don't have to deal with it. Hell, if we just die it will go away. But there's my family, Katniss and her family. I can't abandon them, and Katniss has to win. I'll live with this price not for myself, but for them. And maybe one day Katniss will forgive me for wanting her to live for the nightmares and guilt that come with the territory.

"So what did I miss?" I ask after a silent few minutes of deep thinking. Katniss is still unconscious in her ditch, but she looks unharmed.

"Not much. Since the Careers and Katniss are all out in a sense right now, the Games have been incredibly dull. The Gamemakers are undoubtedly going to step in soon to make excitement with the currently conscious tributes." Finnick replies. Yes, I suppose you take away the majority of the 'real' tributes, the audience would get bored.

I look at the center screen, and the tributes that are conscious are taking the spotlight now. The boy from District 10 with the crippled foot, who I hear one of the commenters call Chuck, is currently struggling to climb a tree. It's not that entertaining unless you were going to make fun of his lack of ability, so the screen switches over to the District five girl with red hair whose name I finally know is Quinn, is at the edge of the dwoods by the Cornucopia, watching the boy from District 3, Taniel. Taniel is just guarding the unconscious forms as well as the supplies, but not really watching too closely. He has his eyes on the forest, the opposite direction of where Quinn is currently hiding. What the fuck is this kid doing? Is he a moron or something?

"Why hasn't he killed them yet? It would be so easy." I voice out loud, incredulous. The kid has an opportunity that's one in a million in these Games, and he hasn't taken it. He could kill off every single Career now and guarantee that another District would win this year. All it would take is a knife, a spear, anything at all. They're all unconscious; it's not like they can fight back.

"He doesn't have the heart to do it." A kind voice that I don't recognize answers me. I turn around and see that the answer came from an intelligent looking man of about fifty with glasses and a balding head. He gives me a sad smile at the truth behind his words. Yes, this kid won't win because he can't take this opportunity.

"I'm Beetee, from District 3. It's nice to meet you." he introduces himself, offering his hand to shake. I take it and introduce myself, even though I know he probably already knows who I am anyway, being the most recent Victor and my 'outburst' earlier.

"Gale." I reply, and take my hand back as he elaborates on his tribute's poor choice.

"I wish he did have the guts, but even before the Games I knew he didn't." he tells me honestly, "Tanny is only fourteen. He's quiet, and quite intelligent, but he never had the heart to kill people with his own hands. I knew he didn't. That's why he came up with the mines around the supplies idea."

"That was his idea? It's brilliant." I say, impressed once again by this kid even if I still think he's stupid for not killing the Careers.

"Yes it was. I wasn't quite sure it would work, but he pulled it off. His plan was to set an intricate maze with the mines so that the Careers would forget the path and kill themselves off trying to get supplies. What he didn't realize was that the Careers would be smart enough to make him get all the supplies himself instead of them risking it. He had to comply because they would have killed him if he said no. I fear that they will soon kill him anyway." Beetee tells me with a sigh.

"It's the Hunger Games. All except one of them is going to be killed too soon." I reply darkly. It's true, though I wish it wasn't. All too soon that arena will be down to one. That one better be Katniss, who is currently sleeping away her tracker jacker venom while all I can do is watch, helpless against the Capitol, its damn Games, its tricks, and their requirements of us 'lucky' souls who become Victors.


	21. Boring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I killed Peeta. Sorry if you're disappointed, but my plans for this story wouldn't work if he was still alive. Plus I promised that this story was not a cop out and would just be the same as the books, so things have to change.

The Gamemakers have indeed decided to step in to make these Games less dull while half the tributes sleep off the tracker jacker venom. Their choice of entertainment is muttations, the one thing I luckily don't have to worry about for Katniss. Since Thresh is evidently the only real competitor conscious, and like Katniss has a high score and very little to show for it, he is their predominant victim. In his field of grains with no one else for miles, Thresh battles strange large cat mutts with black and orange stripes, which the commenters call tiger mutts. Except, they explain unlike real tigers, these have teeth and claws like razors, and regenerate almost immediately any body part except for their heads. For hours, three or four of them chase and fight Thresh, pushing him slowly out of his field. But Thresh fights back, showing that his pure strength with the help of a scythe he found at the Cornucopia is worth something. Once he figures out that hacking off arms and torsos won't stop the tiger mutts, he inadvertently realizes how to kill them when he beheads one by accident and it doesn't regenerate. He fights the other two tiger mutts for another hour or so, but knows where to aim now so eventually he is victorious, and stalks back to his grain hut with nothing more than some scratches that aren't fatal. Damn, this guy's good. If he can beat mutts like their almost nothing, then I can only pray that he fucking dies before he encounters Katniss. He's easily the most dangerous competitor here other than Cato.

Another mutt is hiding out at the lake where the Careers are still unconscious, but it doesn't attack just yet. It's something like what the commenters call a crocodile, and it's apparently going to lie in wait until a Career is conscious. That will be a lovely surprise for the first Career who wakes up. I'd almost feel bad for them if I gave a shit about Careers. I can only be thankful that the mutts can't lie in wait for Katniss to wake up; it makes all I had to go through for my deal worth it.

Haymitch has been gone for a while doing whatever the hell Haymitch does with his time, and I'm left with Finnick and the newly awakened Johanna. Since the Games are rather boring now and Katniss is relatively safe in her unconscious slumber with her hallucinations and nightmares from the venom, which unfortunately I could never help with, the three of us just kind of sit around and talk. I really didn't realize how boring being a mentor could be. At home, they cut out most of the dull moments, but here we have to wait them out. All there is to do in these kind of times is talk or sleep. We don't talk about the Games though. They don't mention Peeta, and I don't bring it up. I'm still feeling a bit hollow and guilty over his death, still trying to deal with it but I guess distracting myself talking about other things with them is helping. Maybe if I can just try to not think about it I'll feel alright. Though it will still haunt me in my dreams without a doubt, hopefully I can find a way to get through the waking hours without feeling so damn guilty.

Haymitch comes back after about two hours of us talking quietly and gestures for me to come outside and talk to him. I check Katniss's screen like an addict to make sure she's alright, even though I know it's futile. She won't be awake yet-in fact, an expert that the commenters had on said that none of the tributes with stings should be conscious for at least another twelve hours if not more. Guess the venom takes a while to work its way out of their systems. As expected, she's still in the ditch curled up unconscious, so I sigh and follow Haymitch out the door and to the elevator to wherever the hell he's taking me.

When we step off the elevator, we're on the roof of all places. Why would Haymitch take me here?

"So I just talked to the mayor about the new angle the boy gave her." Haymitch begins in a low voice.

"The mayor? Why?" I ask, confused. I really have no idea what the mayor of District 12 has anything to do with the Hunger Games.

"He's got a separate phone that can't be hacked." Haymitch answers me. Interesting. What we're the mayor and Haymitch discussing that they evidently didn't want the Capitol to know about?

"Oh. What we're you talking about?" I ask.

"Things. Of course as soon as the boy mentioned the 'he needs you' thing, the Capitolite reporters would swarm District 12 trying to find out who he is. And of course the logical guess from everyone would be you." Haymitch replies.

"And?" I really don't know where he's going with this.

"And there's confusion. Though everyone has suspected you two would be together at some point, no one knows anything for sure. We think the best way to go around this is to keep it a mystery, not say anything for certain at all. So the Mayor's daughter is going to mention to your family and hers to stay away from the reporters, and if they're unlucky enough to get cornered by one to avoid answering for certain either way."

"How is that helpful?" I ask. Seriously what is with this roof? I swear that almost every strange conversation I have at this damn building happens up here.

"It will help in the long run. The longer the sponsors don't know for sure the more they will be interested. Trust me kid, we'll figure this out. Understand?" he answers, taking hold of my shoulders and willing me to just not question him for once. Figure what out? What the fuck is with this guy? Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?

"Yeah." I answer, still confused. I glare at him until he lets me go. Oh well, I'll go along with this plan until I figure out on my own what the fuck goes through his crazy head. Easier said than done in that drunk fuck's case. He nods at me in approval and we go back down to the Mentor Room.

Not much has changed in the time I was gone, the focus still being on the conscious tributes and the mutt silently watching the Careers' sleeping forms. I'm just sitting there with Johanna and Haymitch, as Finnick has gone on yet another appointment and should return soon. A lot of mentors are walking around and chatting with one another, because they are either out of tributes, bored, or just socializing. Despite where we are and how many incredibly different people are gathered in this room, a majority of the Victors seem to get along. It's that family thing that Finnick was talking about earlier, I think. Victors understand other Victors unlike almost anyone else would, and they see each other year in and year out. Most people here have been friends for years, I think. I guess that's one of the few advantages of winning-you get friends from other districts who you get to see every year. It's kind of nice, I guess. I have definitely relied on Finnick as a friend, and I'm even warming up to Johanna. Friends that I would never have met, never even have looked twice at if I hadn't won the Hunger Games. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I'm just observing the room when I see the District 5 male mentor walk past me, and he gives me a dirty look as he walks away. What the hell was that for? The District 5 tribute died in the bloodbath, and they only have Quinn as their hope now. She's not really his responsibility, so I guess he's just here helping his fellow mentor. But that wouldn't give him the right to give me a dirty look, because neither Katniss nor Peeta killed the boy from 5. But then I think on it…of course, it makes sense now. I killed the District 5 boy tribute in my Games-that has to be the reason for the dirty look.

It was the second day in the arena, and I had just received more rope from Haymitch as a sponsor gift because he knew what my plan was. I was actually thrilled that I had sponsors and got a gift, because I didn't quite expect it. It's not exactly common for a District 12 tribute, but perhaps my training score of 9, which was the highest a tribute from our district had ever received, made some people have hope in me. I didn't necessarily need the rope since I had grabbed some at the Cornucopia, but extra couldn't hurt-it just meant that I could use it to make more snares, which was currently my best chance to win since my other choice was taken from me.

Once the cannon started the Games I had my eye on the prize of the golden bow and sheath of arrows about thirty yards to my right and center, but the District 1 boy took it before I got there, giving me a smirk. I was so pissed because he did that on purpose, knowing that I wanted it-he didn't even know how to use a bow like I did; his attempts in training were amateur at best. But I couldn't go fight him for it, not if I wanted to live past the first day; I already had a huge target on my back, courtesy of my training score and refusing to accept being in the Career alliance. He aimed an arrow at me as I ran but missed by a few feet. The second time he aimed it was a little better, nicking me in the arm and drawing blood. I grunted at the pain but never stopped running, getting out of his range. I had to get away before he could get the others to attack me or find a weapon he could use against me, grabbing ropes, a knife, and a blue backpack on my way to the woods. I didn't recognize most of the trees, them not being like the woods back home where I practically lived with Katniss, but I'd manage. Any woods are much better than none at all.

I ran like my life depended on it (which it did) through the unfamiliar woods and only stopped when I found a water source. I filled up the canteen that I found in my backpack and bandaged up my cut from the arrow while listening to the cannons that signaled that the bloodbath was over. I heard thirteen cannons, which is a sort of high number for a bloodbath-the average is between nine and twelve. I expected it actually, because the Career pack was pretty damn good this year; specifically Emerald and Glaze from 1, the girl from 2, Audrey, and the boy from 4, Sebastian. All four of them had gotten nines or tens in training, and they were ruthless. They did have a humane side though, as much as I hate to admit it-I heard them joking around, teasing the girl from 4 who had a soft spot for her little brother, whom she had taught to make sandcastles. Or even Audrey, joking with her district partner about how her boyfriend was pissed off because he lost a bet to him over a weight-throwing contest and she had to comfort him. I didn't want to believe that they were people, that they had background stories because I knew they would either be dead soon or I'd have to kill them myself to win, but you can't help hearing sometimes. I tried to wipe all the stories from my mind before the Games. If anger or uncaring was the only thing I had left for them, it would make it a little easier to kill them.

That night I climbed a tree and watched the death toll. Both from 3, the girl from 5, both from 6 and the boy from 7. The girl from eight. So little Jacob made it-I was actually shocked by that, and a little proud of the kid. The girl from nine, and both from 10 and 11 were next. Which left my district partner as the last death of the day. I can't say I'm shocked-even she knew she was probably a bloodbath, so I ignored her for the most part as to not get too attached. Of course all the Careers would make it the first day, and I climbed as high as I dared for some rest before they started hunting tributes.

The second day after Haymitch sent me the rope I got to work on my plan. I knew that if I could do this correctly, transfer my hunting skills with snares to the Games, I could pull off making it far. I hated actually being a predator of humans, but I didn't want the Gamemakers to get bored with me and send something against me I couldn't control too well, like a mutt or a natural disaster. So I grudgingly got to work and set up the largest, most complicated snares I had ever done, almost hoping that no one would get caught in it. Well, at least it would be easier for me if a Career was trapped by my snare, but it would still be hard to kill them.

After setting up three snares around my area, I hiked myself up a tree to lie in wait. Not much happened for hours, and I was getting edgy. What if this doesn't work? What if it does? What if the audience is getting bored with me and they send a mutt up my tree for me to fight with nothing but a knife? No, I decided, they aren't going to do that. Either there is a damn good fight going on, or they are just curious to see if my snares work. Or perhaps the audience's vicious appetite for killing is sated for now, seeing as I've heard two cannons since last night, undoubtedly victims of the Careers.

Suddenly about an hour before sundown, I hear a scream of someone who is unquestionably male. Even as I climb down the tree swiftly but silently, I don't want to do it. But I have to, I have to kill. At this point I'm just praying it's not Jacob, because he reminds me too much of Rory-it would be like killing my brother, which I would never do. I creep quietly along to see who fell victim to my snare, and after about fifteen minutes I find out. It's a boy of about my age, with almost orange red hair and he seems a bit frightened, struggling in vain to get out of my snare. I'm relieved to see it's not Jacob, but I really wish it was a Career. Not this boy from another district, from District 5 I think who pulled off a seven in training. But I have to do this. I have to win-any means necessary. Before he can see me, I slip behind the tree that he is hanging from and closing my eyes, I quickly slit his throat from behind before he sees it coming.

BOOM!

I feel so fucking guilty, so ashamed of myself. I'm a killer. I'm a murderer, someone with human blood on their hands. I thought it would be like hunting. And it is in a sense; set the snare, and if the prey is still living give it a quick, painless end. But the after effects of it are so different when it's a human. This boy had family, friends, maybe even a girlfriend. And I'm certain all of them hate me with a passion right now. Hell, I hate myself. But using any means necessary to win makes me have to do this. I don't want to, but I have to appear like this doesn't affect me for the cameras-I don't want to look weak. So I put on my best mask to hide my pain and self-loathing and stalk back to my tree for the night. The anthem plays soon, and I see the boy I killed, the girl from seven, and the boy from nine staring down at me from their pictures in the sky. Damn, these Games are going quickly-it's the second night and we're already down to eight tributes. Six Careers, little Jacob, and me.

I hope the mentor from District 5 can forgive me eventually. I mean, I didn't want to kill his tribute, who actually had a small chance with his seven. But in the arena, things are necessary to win, and they aren't always pleasant or pretty things. And I certainly didn't know the effects it would have on me that day, with the snares. The line dubbed by the Capitol women that apparently started that day with the boy from 5, ensnare me. I wish I could tell the mentor from 5 that karma is biting me in the ass just fine, it's not really necessary to give me a dirty look. Or maybe it is, maybe that's protocol here. What the hell do I know? I'm only a first year mentor.


	22. Reminds Me

Thinking about my Games reminds me that the Careers need to believe that Katniss really is good at snares. I know it's stupid to hold onto that lie in a sense because she really only knows a few basic snares, but I feel like this deception could actually help her. It's not even gaurunteed that any tribute would even pass by or see a snare that she made, but the audience would see. The audience would believe the lie, and just maybe that would get her more sponsors. You never know.

I glance at the sponsor money she has and I'm thrilled to say that her money is slowly growing despite her being unconscious currently. I guess people liked the trick with the tracker jacker nest even though it resulted in a rather boring arena for the past day and a half. I take a look at how much rope is, just in case-she has more than enough money for some. The problem is that if I send her this rope, she may not know to make a snare with it-she really doesn't know many, and she couldn't possibly even begin to replicate the ones I used last year. But then I think of the simple snare I taught her to trick the Careers in training, and I think that could do. It wouldn't have to necessarily work; it just has to appear like it would. But how would she know that's the snare I wanted her to do? Hmm….the bedcord! Yes, the one that I taught her it on, the cord I cut off her bedding in her room with a knife. She would recognize it, I know she would. Though she would be confused as to why I was telling her to make that snare, she would trust me and do it anyway. Katniss would know that I wouldn't send her a clue to make a snare unless it was important.

I glance at the screen and see that she's still unconscious before I startle Finnick and Johanna with my sudden moves. I get up immediately and my mood is lifted somewhat, so I can see why they are confused at my actions. But I don't explain just quite yet. I just hand Finnick Katniss's tablet and mumble something about being back soon. I turn around and briskly walk out the door with no more explanation than that. I'll tell them later.

I race up to the 12th floor of the Training Center and make my way quickly to Katniss's room. Good, the bedding is still the same kind, with the same purple cord decorating the bottom of the comforter. I go order a steak for the knife, and wonder idly why the hell I didn't think about getting scissors or something. It would have been easier to cut, but I need to get back down to the Mentor Room soon. In the middle of my ripping and sawing off a piece of the cord, I hear the door open and turn around to see who my intruder is. This is going to take some explaining.

Luckily it's just the avox girl, who looks at me like I'm a bit crazy. Maybe I am-after all, this half-baked snares lie is probably not as important as I think it is, and I'm cutting bedding with a steak knife. Not exactly a sane-person alert.

"I know this is crazy. I'm just trying to help her." I tell the avox girl, and she nods at me but is still obviously confused as to how it's going to help Katniss. I finish cutting a piece of cord long enough to tie around the rope I'm going to send and turn to see that the girl is still there, watching me.

"Sorry about the bedding." I say to her vaguely. She shrugs, and I notice for the first time how skinny she is. How gaunt her face looks, her pale complexion. What the fuck do they do to these avoxes? She looks like she hasn't eaten enough in years, much like a lot of Seam people do. I see her eyeing the steak longingly that I left on the table, but she tries not to show it.

"Are you hungry?" I ask her, startling her out of her gaze, and she looks at me guiltily. I don't know why she looks guilty, because I'm part of the reason she's in this situation in the first place. If we had tried to save her, then maybe she wouldn't have been an avox and neither would we, despite what this girl believes. Maybe I can make it up to her in this small way though. I go over to the food ordering station and order soup, mash potatoes, pudding, anything I can think of that's soft because I don't know what you can eat without a tongue, and come over with the large tray. She eyes it and looks up at me confused.

"Here." I tell her. She looks at me strangely, but doesn't move to take the tray. Why won't she take it? I'm just trying to help her. Oh right, avoxes have to be ordered to do things.

"Eat this. That's an order." I say firmly but not unkindly as I shove it at her. She gives me a look of thanks as she understands what I'm doing for her and smiles as she digs in. I sit on the bed until she finishes scarfing down all the food, not wanting her to stop nor having her get in trouble for stealing. When she's done, she looks up at me with gratitude and tears in her eyes. She mouths thank you to me as I give her a small smile and leave with the cord in hand.

When I get back, Finnick looks at me with relief, "Good you're back. She just got up."

"Already?" I say in surprise. According to the expert, she wasn't supposed to be conscious for at least another four or five hours. But she did have the least amount of stings, and she pulled the stingers out almost immediately.

"Yeah she's the only one up so far. Where were you anyway?" Johanna asks.

"Getting this." I answer, holding up the cord. She glances at it and eyes me with confusion.

"And why is a purple cord so damn important. What are you going to do, make a necklace with it?" Johanna questions with an amused smirk.

"No, it's a message. It's not exactly like I can send a note to her." I say back.

"What message?" Finnick asks.

"It's for a snare I want her to make with rope I'm going to send her. I want her to keep up the good with snares lie." I tell them.

"And what does that have to do with it?" Johanna asks, pointing to the cord.

"She doesn't actually know a lot of snares, but I taught her one about a week ago with this. She'll know that this is the snare I want her to make." I reply.

"She doesn't know about the snare thing though. How do you know that she'll even do it?" she asks, more curiously than meanly. Maybe I'm actually cracking through Johanna's tough girl mask.

"She won't know why." I concede, "But she'll trust that I wouldn't want her to make it unless it was for a damn good reason."

"Well okay then, if you say so." Finnick replies, but it's evident he's not entirely convinced. He tells me where to send the cord and give instructions to tie it around the rope for the people who send sponsor gifts.

About five minutes after I send the cord and instructions, a parachute floats down to Katniss near where she's cleaning off her newly acquired arrows. She goes over to it and is most certainly confused but tries not to show it. She fingers the purple cord and grins as it clicks in her mind on what I want her to do. Shrugging, she sets to work on making the snare, and I can't help but smile at Finnick and Johanna's surprised and impressed faces when she does exactly what I wanted her to do. It takes her a lot longer than it would take me to make the snare and tie it to a tree correctly, but it's better than nothing. The commenters get a kick out of it, saying that Peeta wasn't lying about her being good with snares. Good, that's exactly what I wanted. Of course if someone were to actually fall into it…no, one thing at a time, Gale. Be grateful that at least this has a shot at getting her sponsors.

Once she's done, she takes the length of purple cord and ties it around her wrist a few times until it's like a bracelet. Well I guess she doesn't really know what else to do with it-I kind of like that she has a little memory of me with her at all times anyway. And who knows? Maybe the cord will come in handy at some point.

She walks along with her silver bow, and within fifteen minutes she's shot a rabbit right through the eye, like usual. But the commenters of course don't know that this is normal, and I get a kick out of them saying that it was a lucky shot. Lucky shot my ass. Well, they'll see soon enough that it's talent and not luck. Maybe the audience will finally understand part of the reason she got an 11 in training. She quickly guts the rabbit and slips it in her bag and moves on with her bow strung. She sees about five birds sitting on a branch of a tree and takes two out before they even know what hit them. The commenters' eyes go wide and their mouths almost drop to the floor when they see that, and I can't help but laugh. Yeah, not so lucky of a shot before. You should see her do that in almost complete darkness-now that's something impressive.

She's walking pretty slowly, so I'm guessing she's really sore and stiff from lying in a ditch for almost two days. It takes her twice as long as it should to get to the stream about two miles away, and when she gets there she cleans off a little until dusk is coming. Now is the time if ever to start a fire to cook her meat, and she does, but only a small one. It's still a risk to start a fire, but maybe she's correctly assuming that the Careers and Peeta are still unconscious from the venom…shit, Peeta. She doesn't know he's dead. Will she find out? How will she react when she does? It's a slippery slope with that one, because she only knows about the star-crossed lover thing, not this mystery thing with me Haymitch concocted with Peeta's last words. It could go very badly on the sponsor end if she doesn't react just right to the news. If she acts nonchalant or not too caring about his death, then people will realize that the lover angle was a sham. But if she acts too heartbroken, then people would assume that she and I are nothing more than friends and the mystery angle will disappear, leaving her with no angle at all for sponsors. Somewhere in the middle would be best, but I really don't know for sure for once how she will react. She hadn't even told me about the bread thing until last week; who knows what else they had as a connection. Oh well, one thing at a time. I'll find out soon enough.

As Katniss is cooking her rabbit and birds, I see something on the center screen that Katniss doesn't sense yet. It's Rue, the little girl from District 11. She's behind a tree about ten yards from where Katniss is cooking and my heart falls to the pit of my stomach. No. Why the hell did it have to be her? Why is this little girl watching her, hiding so close to Katniss that I know she will sense Rue soon enough, being a hunter. She cannot see Rue or get close to that little girl. I know Katniss well enough that she probably wouldn't have listened to me when I said to stay away from Rue, but what can I do now, when Rue may very well go up to Katniss? I know Katniss-she will feel like she owes Rue for helping her come up with that tracker jacker trick. But it will cost her a lot if she does-I know she won't be able to kill Rue. She reminds her too much of Prim. It's exactly why I told her to stay away from Rue in training. She knew how hard Jacob's death was for me, but she doesn't know the half of it. I told her that I didn't help Jacob in training because I knew he reminded me too much of Rory. I lied.

It was the second day of training, and I had just left the archery station and went to the fire making station. I already knew how to make a fire, but I wanted to see what kinds of things that I may have to make a fire with in the arena; it could be matches, flint, or even two sticks or something. When I got there, the only other person at the station was Jacob, and he was struggling with the flint. I couldn't help myself because he reminded me so much of my brother; I crouched down next to him and gave him a soft look, a small smile. I taught him how to use the flint, and I swear the first time he did it on his own his face glowed with such pride that I wanted to hug him. He thanked me and I slapped him lightly on the shoulder, saying that it was no problem, and left for another station. If only I hadn't helped him, if only I hadn't seen that damn smile of pride on his little face, it would have been so much easier in the arena. I might have even not been the cause of his death. Now he haunts my dreams more than any other tribute, always with a smile on his face that kills me even more every fucking time.

So I lied to Katniss, because I didn't want her to have a similar situation. But it appears it may not matter. Hopefully she listens to me for once and just leaves the girl alone. As long as she doesn't ally with Rue, she may be alright. About five minutes later Katniss does indeed sense Rue's presence, and calls out her name softly. The sort of frightened little girl tentatively peeks out from the tree she's hiding behind, and gives Katniss a guilty and scared look.

Katniss gives a small smile and says sweetly, "You can come over. I'm not going to hurt you."

Shit, why couldn't you just pretend she wasn't there? If you're going to give her food, please leave it at that.

Rue quietly comes over, a little less scared than before but still eyes Katniss a little warily. Katniss smiles wider at her, and gives her a look. Shit, I know that look.

Don't do it.

Rue comes closer to the fire, but she doesn't sit down. Katniss still hasn't said anything more; she's just observing the little girl.

Don't do it Katniss. Remember Jacob? Remember how hard it was for me because I cared?

Katniss opens her mouth to speak.

For fuck's sake Katniss, please just listen to me for once!

"Allies?"

Fuck.


	23. Useful, Useless

I bang my fists on the table and curse under my breath as Rue accepts and sits down next to Katniss to start eating. Why would you do that Katniss? Why? You know how difficult Jacob's death was for me, and I didn't even ally with him. How the fuck are you going to handle it when this little girl dies? I know you won't, can't kill her yourself, and that you would try to protect her. You promised you would win Katniss. You promised. And this alliance may very well have just ended you're chance of winning.

Rue's mentor slides over to me in her chair with her tablet in hand. She's an older lady, probably in her late fifties or early sixties, and she gives me a smile. What is she doing here? Oh right, Rue is Katniss's ally now. Mentors of allies help each other.

"Name's Seeder. I'm happy that Rue is allies with her." she says to me with a warm smile.

"I'm not." I blurt out without thinking. I see the woman's face fall into a frown and I feel bad, so I explain. "No it's not that she's not worthy or anything. It's Katniss I'm worried about."

"Why would you be worried about her?" Seeder asks me, perplexed.

I give her a regretful smile as I answer, "Because she won't be able to kill Rue. I know she can't. It ruins her chances of winning by being in an alliance with her."

"I understand. Rue is a little girl, much like her sister she volunteered for if I remember correctly." Seeder answers me. I'm sort of surprised she understands.

"Yes exactly. And she will protect Rue like she's Prim because of it. That's why I told her to stay away from Rue, but of course she's too stubborn to listen to me." I reply, still frustrated.

"Hey it's alright. Let's just focus on them right now, okay?" she says with a smile, trying to calm me down. It's working, as much as I hate to admit it. She's almost like a grandmother, and she certainly gives off that vibe. I nod with a sigh, and turn back to the screen in front of me where Rue and Katniss are eating one of the birds.

"Rue, how long was I out?" Katniss asks the little girl.

"A little over a day and a half." Rue answers.

"Oh. What tributes did I miss in the death toll?" Katniss asks her. Shit. How is she going to react to Peeta?

"Just the girl from one and um…" Rue hesitates, not knowing how to tell her that her 'star-crossed lover' is dead.

"And who?" Katniss asks, but I think she already suspects because of Rue's hesitancy. Rue lets out a deep breath and answers.

"Your district partner." Rue answers, almost flinching as if she thinks Katniss will get mad and hit her or something for telling her.

Katniss's expression is a little blank at first, and then I see pity, remorse, and almost acceptance run through eyes. After a few moments of silence, she asks Rue in a low voice, "When?"

"The same morning as the tracker jackers." Rue replies.

"Oh. Was it…was it from the tracker jackers?" she asks in an almost guilty voice. I get it. She wants to know if she's responsible for killing Peeta.

"I don't think so. He ran away faster than anyone." Rue replies, and Katniss sighs in relief, though she still doesn't seem too sure.

"Okay." She replies quietly, and goes back to staring into the fire. After a minute, Rue works up the courage to ask her what I'm sure is on everyone in the audience's mind.

"Was all that true?" she asks Katniss in her chirpy voice.

"What?" Katniss asks her, still staring at the fire.

"The star-crossed lovers. Was that true?" Rue asks her again. Here it is Katniss. Remember there are cameras, but don't make it too bad. We don't want to ruin your new angle. Of course it would have been helpful if she fucking knew what the new angle was.

"He really did like me." she says honestly, "But…I couldn't, though I wanted to be friends. It's part of the reason why we split up at the bloodbath. But it was too late to be friends or even think about being more, because we were both going into the arena." Katniss tells her quietly. Well…I guess we can work with that. Not the best, but not horrible.

"Couldn't you have tried for a little bit?" Rue asks in her innocence. She seems so grown up, but she is only twelve. I guess she still has some optimism left in her.

"I…" Katniss starts, but Rue interrupts her.

"Oh! Is there someone else? Do you have a boyfriend he didn't know about?" Rue asks excitedly, and I freeze. How did Rue know that's useful for Katniss's new angle?

Katniss just stares at her with her mouth open a little. With her slightly confused expression and small blush, I know exactly what she's thinking. She's thinking about our kiss on the roof the night before the arena. She plays absentmindedly with the purple cord on her wrist while she's thinking about it. Why aren't you answering Katniss? What if she doesn't say the right thing? I still don't know how she felt about it since I was an idiot and left her on the roof before she could say anything. She could tell Rue anything about it and I would have no clue until she said how she felt. But if she tells Rue no or even about our kiss, the angle is shot.

"Come on you must be hungry still. Take my drumstick too." Katniss says, avoiding the question completely. Rue looks at her funny but drops the subject. Well that couldn't have gone better for the new angle. Mystery indeed. The sponsors are probably flustered right now for not getting an answer.

Katniss and Rue start talking about their respective districts, and I see that the center screen is focused on the Careers again. Huh, wouldn't want the districts to hear about other districts, now would we? Fucking Capitol. I bet this is one of the reasons that they've been so successful in keeping control for the past seventy-four years. If you have no contact or know very little about any district outside your own, it makes it extremely difficult to gather up and rebel as a whole.

Cato is the first Career up, and I'm hoping that the crocodile mutt attacks him. That would certainly solve a lot of problems, but unfortunately the mutt is still lying in wait. Hmm, maybe Cato is just too far away. He is almost to the forest after all, a good fifty yards from the lake. Marvel gets up next, and Cato is sitting near him eating, with Taniel a few yards away clutching his spear. Still the mutt doesn't attack. What is it waiting for…the girls. Of course, the girls are literally on the shore of the lake. I wouldn't want to be the first girl up, but if either of them get hurt or killed it will be a good thing. One less Career is one less Career, after all.

And the winner is Clove. She gets up shakily and the crocodile mutt slithers onto land and is about to bit off Clove's calf when she sees it and screams bloody murder. Marvel and Cato hear and rush over with their weapons, and Marisol wakes up in a panic to her scream. The mutt misses her leg, but when she goes to hit it with her knife it bits on her left arm. She shrieks in pain and lets out a string of curse words, clutching her bloody forearm as Cato and Marvel mercilessly spear and hit it with a sword many times in the back and head until it dies. Unfortunately Clove's wound is not fatal-it's not even her throwing arm. But I'm betting it will slow her down anyway, and that can only be for Katniss's good. She grits her teeth as Marisol stiches her up pretty nicely (I'm guessing weaving fishing nets or something in District 4 gave her that ability) and bandages up Clove's arm before the Careers eat and leave to hunt tributes as it gets dark. I glance at Katniss's screen and see that she and Rue have climbed a tree and are sharing the sleeping bag. Well, I guess it is warmer that way. They whisper something unintelligible to me while the anthem plays and go to sleep.

As I watch Katniss close her eyes, I realize that it's been two days. My deal is up and I have to go back and renew it. I sigh because I really don't want to, but now that I know that the deal actually was held up on their end and the mutts stayed away from Katniss I feel like I should. But the problem is I really don't know how I'm going to get away again without everyone being suspicious. I can't have another outburst, and there's really no reason anyone would think I'm stressed right now. Of course I am because Rue is her ally and she didn't listen to me, but no one else knows that.

"Johanna." I whisper to her and she looks up at me. Johanna is not my first choice for help, but Finnick is asleep and Haymitch is nowhere to be found.

"You have any ideas on how I can leave tonight?" I ask her in a low voice, aware that Seeder is just five feet away from me. She shrugs, as stumped as I am. I look around the room as if that could help me for about ten minutes trying to think of anything at all when Haymitch comes to my rescue. He gestures from the doorway for me to follow him and I comply. Well I'm not sure if just disappearing is the best way, but I guess it will work. I have to get to that damn illegal appointment somehow. I follow him in the hall and catch up to him.

"Thanks. I didn't know how I was going to get away this time." I whisper.

"You can't go kid." Haymitch tells me, not stopping on his way to the elevator.

"Why the hell not?" I exclaim. I need to get to that fucking appointment, and he knows it.

"Her new angle. You can't go again."

"What the fuck does that have to do with it?" I ask, bewildered. Her new angle has nothing to do with mutts.

"After her reaction to Peeta's death, which was absolutely perfect for the angle, you can't risk being seen." Haymitch tells me as he gets in the elevator and I follow him. But instead of pushing the button for our floor, he pushes the lobby button.

"So you're taking me to the lobby? Yeah, that's not going to get me seen." I state sarcastically.

"I'm showing you why you can't go. The reporters will swarm you the second you walk out of the building because they are dying to get you to give them an answer to your and sweetheart's relationship status." Haymitch tells me.

"Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?" I ask, not believing him. I think I could make it to the car without being spotted. But as the elevator doors open, my eyes go wide in disbelief. Haymitch was wrong about not making it to the car; I wouldn't make it past the damn lobby.

There have got to be at least twenty reporters, all with camera crews hanging out and chatting in the lobby, some on camera talking to the audience it's being aired to. One of them spots Haymitch and me in the elevator and starts running over excitedly yelling my name as others follow. I quickly hit the close button and as the doors close, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Welcome to the Capitol kid." Haymitch guffaws. I roll my eyes at him, still pissed that I can't help Katniss with the mutts anymore. Haymitch of course, knows how I feel about this, "Hey kid, you gave her five days. That's more than anyone else can say."

"Yeah well now I'm practically useless to her. I'm-"

"Useless? Kid you're not useless." Haymitch interrupts me, "If you play this angle right, you have no fucking idea how helpful you would be."

"Well then what the fuck am I supposed to do?" I ask in frustration.

"Stay in the damn Mentor Room. Answer no questions about your status with her to no one at all. Got it?" he tells me. I nod, still pissed, but stalk back to the Mentor Room just like told me anyway. He chuckles at my frustration and follows.

Once back in the mentor room, I immediately go to sleep in the bed next to Finnick. I've been up for a while again and with Katniss relatively safe for now, it's really the best time for me to try to get some. Haymitch and Johanna assure me that they will stay up for the night, and I drift off to sleep.

When I get up it's around dawn. I look to the bed next to me and find Johanna, not Finnick, so I'm guessing Finnick is up already. Haymitch is slouched in his chair sleeping again holding a drink, and Finnick is sitting next to him eating breakfast. He grins at me and hands me my own breakfast, which I scarf down and realize just how hungry I am. I really don't think I've eaten enough these whole Games-too stressed I guess.

"Anything happen?" I ask him. I'm sure Johanna filled him in before she went to bed.

"Not yet, but the Careers are close to District 10 now. Everyone else is still sleeping." I look up at the screen and see that he's right. Katniss and Rue are still in the sleeping bag, and they look so sweet that I can't help but think that this is how Katniss looks when she sleeps with Prim. I study Katniss's sleeping face and realize just how young she looks. She doesn't look like my Catnip, the sixteen year old who had to grow up too fast. No, she almost looks like the girl I met long ago in the woods. It would make me feel better if it wasn't because she wasn't in the damn Games that I get to see her like this though.

I watch the center screen where the Careers have spotted the District 10 boy, who is currently waking up because he hears the Careers' excited whispers and footsteps. I'd almost believe that he could get away in time, but I know it's futile. For one, on that crippled foot he can't run fast, and two, he evidently has a hard time climbing trees unlike Katniss did. Unfortunately I'm right, and Marvel knocks him to the ground with one hard shove.

The Careers laugh as the boy looks up at them in fright, which only makes them laugh harder. Well just kill him already. You know he's dead, he knows he's dead, just get on with it. But of course that's too much to ask of the Careers. Of course an easy kill wouldn't be fun for them.

The four of them first take turns kicking the boy, in the stomach, chest and head as he squirms and screams at the pain. But that isn't enough. Now the weapons come out, and I think for sure that they will end this torture now. But no, they're fucking Careers-they're nowhere near done having fun. Sadistically, they enjoy knifing, cutting, and spearing the boy. But it's not enough to kill him. No, they aim for his arms and legs, and stomach. First Clove cuts off his fingers, and then Cato decapitates his bad foot; all the while the boy is screaming in pain, begging for death. This only makes them laugh harder. Marvel spears the boy low on his stomach next and the boy compacts into himself, crying and panting. Marisol takes her turn, but doesn't play around; she mercifully cuts the boy's throat, ending his pain.

BOOM!

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Marvel asks in an angry voice.

"Yeah, I wanted to cut off his toes before we killed him." Clove complains.

"Oh come on, we need to get back." Marisol rolls her eyes. The rest of the Careers are still pissed, but they agree since their fun is over and stalk off to the Cornucopia.

Those fucking sadistic Careers are sick. No, they're more than sick-they're disgusting. The least they could have done is killed him quickly, but that wouldn't be fun for them. I'm more certain than ever that they rip out the Careers' hearts in their training and leave them with no humanity whatsoever.

"She's not sadistic. Not many from my district are, even if we are Careers." Finnick defends, evidently seeing my horror and disgust at the Careers' behavior. I look over at Finnick, and decide to almost believe him. Finnick is certainly a nice guy, and Marisol is the one that just ended the boy's pain. Maybe 4 isn't as Careerish as 1 and 2, but the sadistic Careers far outnumber Marisol. I can only hope that the District 10 boy's fate is not Katniss's. I fucking hope she doesn't get anywhere near that pack.


	24. Smart

Katniss and Rue have awakened to the cannon, and correctly assume that the Careers are up and hunting-that the Game is in full swing again. They each have an egg that Rue found for breakfast as well as some berries and rabbit, and hop down from the tree. They start walking, and Katniss is questioning her little companion constantly for information about the Career camp, where Rue evidently observed earlier.

They decide that they are going to go on the offense, which I'm none too pleased about but once I hear what she's planning I relax a little. She wants to get rid of the supplies, and have Rue light fires as a decoy to lure the Careers away from camp. I'm a bit edgy that she doesn't know about the mines, but she's smart enough to get nowhere near the damn pile of supplies until she figures out why they are piled up at all. Plus she has the bow now; between her long range weapon and her deadly aim, she could take out any tribute from afar that gets in her way.

The Careers have made it back to camp as Katniss and Rue are planning, and they order Taniel to once again go get them food from the mined pile. I know that wasn't originally Taniel's plan for him to get the supplies instead of the Careers, but it's probably the only thing keeping him alive at this point. Do the Careers even know the path for when they do kill him? Well I guess it won't matter if Katniss finds a way to destroy all the supplies.

Katniss and Rue come up with a signal of a four note whistle to send when they are safe because they are splitting up, and Katniss helps Rue make the three fires along the way that will lure the Careers from camp. As Katniss is about to leave, Rue surprises her by hugging her and she doesn't hesitate to return it. A few people in the Mentor Room aww, but I can see the Career mentors roll their eyes. Yep, no hearts. Although I have to guiltily say I wish she didn't do that either, because she's only getting more attached to Rue. It's only going to make it more difficult for her.

As Katniss makes her way alone to the hideout Rue used a few days ago to spy on the Career camp, Rue waits by the first fire for what I'm guessing is a predetermined amount of time so Katniss has time to get to the Career Camp. She looks so tiny, but her sheer strength to not sit and cry because she's in the Games makes her appears so much older than her twelve years. These Games have aged her quickly, I'm guessing. It's horrible that the damn Capitol matures children before their time just to die.

Katniss makes it to the Career Camp spy place and observes the scene in front of her. The Careers are mostly just lounging around with Taniel standing by himself a few yards away. She observes the strange arrangement of the pile of supplies and I can see how confused she is. Come on Katniss, think. Look at the ground around the plates; look at the dug up earth around the pile. Do not even think of going near that damn pile.

At that point Rue has started the first fire and the smoke as intended shoots up a signal loud and clear. When the Careers see it, they get super excited and grab all their weapons and begin to move. But then they realize that Taniel is still there, and for reasons I can't explain they decide to bring him with them because the supplies are safe. Ha! Safe my ass. Thank you for stupidly leaving the coast clear for Katniss to destroy your precious supplies.

Katniss is about to go in for a closer look when Quinn dashes up to the supply pile and does the routine around the mines. Hmm, guess she's been watching Taniel get supplies, unlike the Careers I bet. Smart girl. She takes a little of a few things, not enough to send a red flag that someone's been stealing the supplies but enough to live off of for a few days. I really shouldn't underestimate this girl. Her game of stealth and being invisible might actually work until the end. Too bad that I'm guessing she won't win because she can use a weapon, but it's a pretty good strategy nonetheless. As Katniss watches her, she whispers to herself that the pile is mined. Good Catnip, there's your intelligence shining through. Now that you know not to get near it, what are you going to do?

There's a net around the supplies so she could try to set it on fire with an arrow, but there's no guarantee that she would hit it or even burn all the supplies if she did. Plus if they found her arrows, the Careers would know that her weapon is a bow and that would not help her any. She could try to trigger the mines, but she could only hit one at a time and that would alert the Careers and send them flying back to camp. At this point the second fire has been lit, and the Careers are beginning to wonder if they are being played. They argue when they get to the second fire about if they should continue looking or go back to camp. Rue evidently feels that it is too risky to set the third fire with the Careers so close so she hides in a tree. Probably just saved her life with that one.

About five minutes after Quinn has left, Katniss stands up and moves towards the pile a little from her hiding spot, bow strung. What do you have planned? What can you see that might work that I haven't? She lets an arrow go, and it goes through a hole in the net and rips a burlap sack of apples a little. Of course! How could I not have seen that? If the apples tumble down, it might get enough mines to go off so that all of them react and it blows the whole fucking pile. It's brilliant! She lets another arrow go, and it rips the bag even more, an apple almost teetering from it trying to break free. The commenters are completely stunned by her precision, her ability to send not one but two arrows through a net and hit the exact same place. Well no shit she can do that-the bow is practically an extension of her arm. As she lets the third arrow go, the apples start falling. Come on come on come on.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BA BAM! BA BAM BAM!

The mines go off and set off other mines with the debris and apples, blowing up the whole damn pile. Hell yeah! Since the Careers are now without the supplies, Katniss has evened the playing field. No more than that, she has given herself a clear advantage. One of the few good things about coming from a poorer district is that we know how to go hungry, unlike the Careers. They rely on those supplies every Hunger Games for their food, and always have enough to eat. Let the real Hunger Games begin.

I'm grinning like an idiot, and I can't help myself when I say out loud with pride, "That's my girl!"

The Career mentors all give me death glares when I say that. Well, they were never going to like me anyway-I personally killed three Careers in my Games, and one of them was Enobaria's tribute Audrey, who undoubtedly would have won if she hadn't stepped in my snare. I give them a smirk and a mock salute from my place at my station, which only makes them scowl. I smile at them and sit back down.

"You're alright Hawthorne." Johanna tells me, impressed by my mocking. Well I don't know for sure, but I think this means we're friends now in Johanna language.

"Thanks." I reply, still grinning from my excitement of Katniss blowing up the supplies. But as I see her on the ground from the impact of the explosion, her left ear and side of her head bleeding, my good mood disappears. What's wrong? How hurt are you? She pulls her hood up on her head to stop the blood flow and crawls to the cover of a nearby bush just as the Careers and Taniel arrive back at camp.

It's actually sort of amusing how the Careers act when they see the blown up supplies. Clove, Marvel, and Marisol are yelling and letting out a string of curse words as they look at the pile for anything to scavenge out of the debris. Cato, however, takes the prize for the best reaction. He's pulling at his hair, his face is beet red in anger, and he's stomping around, smashing any pieces remaining of what were once supplies. I'm beginning to question his sanity. I mean, who reacts that way, even if they are pissed? Taniel pokes around with a stick and confirms that all the mines have been reactivated and there aren't any left. Shit kid, you did your job too well. Cato realizes this too, and before I know he runs after Taniel and with a quick, powerful turn of Taniel's head, Cato snaps his neck.

BOOM!

Cato is still on a murderous rage and the other three try to calm him down. They point up to the sky and tell him whoever blew up the supplies has to be dead. The cannon could have easily been lost in the midst of the explosion. Too bad that their wrong-Katniss is very much alive even though it's obvious she's hurt. Luckily they don't know about her archery skills or that reassurance that is incorrect would not have calmed Cato down a little. They sit down and contemplate who their bomber could be, and who the accomplice was. Since Thresh has not left his field, and Quinn has not been seen and her game is to be invisible, they correctly assess that the bomber is Katniss and her accomplice is Rue. They wait until the death toll to hunt just to make sure, though. When Taniel and the boy from 10 are the only faces in the sky though, the Careers go into hunt mode. They are unbelieving that Katniss got away and extremely pissed.

"When we find her, I kill her in my own way and no one interrupts." Cato seethes with venom dripping from his voice. He and Clove take the night vision glasses and Marvel and Marisol take torches, and they stomp off to the woods. They probably believe that Katniss has a good two or three hour lead on them-I can only be thankful that she's actually quite near the Career camp. It's probably the safest place for her at this point, especially since all four Careers are so out to get her. She stays where she is in the bush, covers herself with leaves for warmth and goes to sleep.

The Careers are off hunting in the woods for a few hours when they come to the third unlit fire. They decide to split up and meet back at the unlit fire in about an hour to look two ways. Cato and Clove go one way, and Marvel and Marisol go the other. Once the first two are out of hearing range of the others, they talk quietly.

"We're down to the final eight. It's time to break the alliance." Cato tells Clove.

"But I want to watch her die!" Clove says exasperated. Actually, I don't believe for a second you would just stand there and let Cato have all the 'fun,' but I doubt Cato sees that.

"I know. That's why I think you and I should stick together until she's dead." Cato tells her. I'm sort of surprised by this, but I guess inter-district alliances run deeper than the full Career alliance.

"Good. When should we kill them?" Clove asks with an evil looking smile. Being a target is fucked up for Katniss, especially since the Careers have it in for her. At least these two are willing to take out two Careers for her.

"Earliest chance. Who first? I'll let you have the honors." Cato says graciously. Yeah, you'll let her do it so she doesn't interrupt if and when you find Katniss. Asshole.

"Marisol. She ruined our fun with that cripple." Clove decides carelessly after a minute, and they turn back to meet their 'allies' at the unlit fire. Only Careers could make choosing which ally to kill sound like they were deciding what kind of soup to eat. Disgusting.

When they meet up with the other two Careers, the four of them choose a direction to head in where they think Katniss would have gone. After about three miles of walking with nothing to show for it later, something happens. Marisol steps near a tree and next thing you know, she's entangled in rope.

Shit she actually stepped in Katniss's snare. I knew it was the right thing, I could feel it. The snare didn't actually work right because Marisol should be more tightly entangled, but the Careers and the audience won't know that. The effect is a desirable one anyway. The Careers are confused at first as to what just happened, but then they look angry.

"What do you know, Lover boy didn't lie." Clove smirks.

"Wow Marisol way to go. At least she's not around to kill you." Marvel snickers.

"Ha ha very funny. Now would one of you get me untied?" Marisol exclaims, still struggling against the rope. Cato gestures to Clove to go ahead and she nods. Clove slips two knives out of her pocket and begins to walk up to Marisol like she's going to cut her free. Instead when she's about three yards from the ensnared girl, she throws one of her knives into her chest.

Marisol gasps, choking on the blood that is probably coming up from her wound. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"This is for ruining our fun with cripple. Any last words?" Clove asks her with a malicious smirk. Marisol's eyes go wide as Clove comes up to her with a knife in hand, but she stares her down instead of crying or screaming.

"You're a heartless bitch." Marisol spits at her. At least the girl's going down fighting, gotta give her that. Thank you for telling a Career what they truly are. Maybe Finnick was right about District 4 being the best Career district if there had to be one; at least Marisol doesn't seem completely inhumane.

"At least I'm not dead." Clove answers with a laugh, clearly unaffected as she slits her ally's throat.

BOOM!

Marvel looks absolutely shocked and a little horrified by this turn of events. Does he know what this means? Does he know that the Career alliance is basically broken, that he's the next target? I can't be sure, because he just follows Cato and Clove as they begin walking again. But he falls slowly behind them more and more, and when he is sure that the two are engrossed in their conversation, slips into the bushes on his left and makes a break for it. Smart boy, leaving those two. He probably would have been dead very soon if he hadn't run off. Cato and Clove evidently didn't see him go, and it takes them a full thirty minutes to realize that Marvel is no longer with them. They scowl at letting him get away, but they just start heading back to the Cornucopia instead of looking for him.

Haymitch comes in and comes over to sit in the chair next to me. "Well, the reporters are after you again. Final eight you know, they want an interview." Oh yeah, when it gets to the final eight, or more like the final seven now, they interview families and friends. But Haymitch told me not to leave the Mentor Room for the new angle.

"What am I supposed to do then?" I ask. I know I'm the logical choice for an interview, being Katniss's best friend/mentor and the mystery angle thing, but I can't risk it. Not now anyway.

"Go to sleep. If you're unavailable, then you're unavailable." He tells me with a wink, "And if they insist on an interview, I'll give them one myself." he laughs, and I have to say that would certainly be amusing. Not to mention that they would be even more interested in Katniss because I'm not answering any of their questions.

"Yeah I'm sure they'll love that." I tell him with a smirk, and walk towards the bed behind me. But when I'm about to get in it, someone stops me. I turn and see that it's the mentor from District 1, though I don't recognize her. She's gorgeous, though- long blonde hair, striking hazel eyes, and she looks around her mid-twenties.

"So what's with you and fire girl?" she asks me, stroking my arm with a seductive grin. Seriously, she's trying to seduce me into telling her? That's sick. I may be a guy and I may be from the poorest district in Panem, but I'm not stupid.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I answer her, "Good night." I say promptly as I get into bed. Right before I close my eyes I see her give me a pissed off look and stomp her foot, angry that her seduction got her nowhere. Good, maybe these fucking Careers will get a grip on reality-the other districts are smarter than they think. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep with that thought in mind.


	25. Cannons

BOOM!

I wake up with a start, damn near almost falling out of the tree I was sleeping in. What the fuck? Who's cannon was that? My guess is Jacob, since he is the only non-Career left besides me. But since it's down to the final eight, the six Careers could be getting antsy and break their alliance. I really don't know which one I prefer more at this point. On one hand, I don't think I can be the one to kill Jacob, so it would be good for me if someone else did it already. But on the other hand, if this indicates that the Career alliance is broken, that means that the Careers are officially broken up, meaning that it is all the more likely that someone will find me. Though I guess it's good if they're broken as well because that means there are more targets than just me, and I think I might have a chance to take one or two on myself, but not six. I really don't know what I want it to be.

The rest of the day goes by without any action, or at least on my end. I take down my two remaining snares and relocate about four miles away and set them up again before climbing a tree for the night. As the anthem goes up I see the boy from District 2. The Career pack is officially broken I'm guessing. Down to seven now.

I go to sleep and the next day is much like the day before, except that I'm not awakened by a cannon. In fact, there hasn't been a cannon in over a day and a half-the audience must be getting bored by now. I walk along and around mid-afternoon, I'm checking one of my snares for food when I see someone out of the corner of my eye-Jacob. He looks at me, frozen in place because of his terror. I know what I should do. I know what the audience expects me to do. But as I stare at this thirteen-year-old boy, so scared of me that he couldn't move to save his life, he reminds me so much of Rory. Fuck the audience, fuck the Games.

"Get out of here kid." I tell him, pointing in a random direction. He looks at me incredulous, like he can't believe that I'm letting such an easy kill get away. He smiles in relief and thanks me before running. But as he smiles, he turns into Rory, and Peeta is coming at him with a vengeance to get back at me for letting him die.

"Don't!" I scream in a panic, waking myself up from my nightmare. Shit, I'm still in the Mentor Room, but this must be normal behavior for Victors since no one gives me more than a glance as they go back to their business. Of course I would dream of Jacob now, with Katniss allied with Rue. I particularly don't like reliving that scene because of what I found out what happened at the three hour review of the Games after I won. Yes, I let Jacob go, and I don't regret that-my punishment for not killing him was the mutt attack a few hours later to entertain the audience. But that's not really why I hate that dream. It's because I didn't know that two Careers saw the whole exchange.

I shake off the last dregs of sleep that I still feel even with my panicked awakening, and go take my place at 12's station. I'm beginning to feel like this is my new life, that I will never leave this damn room again. It's like I'm trapped here, and I hate it. I only wish that I was with Katniss in our woods, breathing the fresh air and being in nature. Not surrounded by technology in the Capitol watching her fight for her life in a different woods where I have very little control to help her.

She doesn't do a lot that day; she walks back to her and Rue's fire from the night before and spears two fish. She and Rue had planned to meet back here but Rue isn't there. No, Rue is stuck in her tree that she climbed the day before, scared to get down because Marvel is lurking around, far too close to her for comfort. Katniss climbs a tree and eats a lot of her food, and I can tell that something is wrong with the ear that was bleeding yesterday from the explosion by the way she frowns as she rustles a leaf by it constantly. Is she deaf in that ear from the explosion? Fuck I hope not. Hearing is just as important as a hunter's sense as sight, and maybe even more important a lot of the time. If she's one ear down, that can't be good for her. But there's nothing at all I can do for a deaf ear. Even if there was a medicine for it, the price would be so astronomical at this point that I'm guessing even if everyone here combined sponsor money there still wouldn't be even close to enough. Though I know that the Capitol can fix just about anything with their surgeries and medicine, so when she gets out it will be fixed. Of course that doesn't help her now, but I fucking hope it doesn't deter her too much.

At some point during the afternoon Katniss evidently decided that she's been patient enough waiting for Rue to come so she gets down, leaves mint leaves at their spot as a sign for Rue, and goes looking for her. Rue is also walking along now, because she believes that Marvel is gone. Unfortunately he's not that far away, but she doesn't know that. At least he can't physically see her. Rue decides that she is safe and sends the whistle signal to the mockingjays that she is safe, which Katniss hears and replies back with her own whistle. But then Rue gets caught in a net, and I stop breathing for a minute. Shit, I forgot that the Careers set up their own traps. As long as she stays quiet Marvel might not check the trap and Katniss could find her. But of course that's too much to ask.

"Katniss! Katniss!" Rue shrieks for help. Shit! Don't you know that you will just get Katniss in trouble too? This is exactly why I didn't want her to ally with Rue-she will try to protect her if she gets there the same time as Marvel or before him.

Marvel and Katniss both hear Rue's cries for help, and Marvel grins wickedly as he swiftly moves in Rue's direction.

"Rue! I'm coming!" Katniss calls out, trying to take the focus off the little girl for anyone who might be able to here. Fuck Katniss, don't do that! It's practically suicide! I don't give a shit that you have the bow, you are a bigger target. Why did you fucking have to ally with her? Now protecting her may kill you.

I'm pulling at my hair at this point, trying in vain to keep calm. At least I'm not yelling and screaming out loud-yet. Katniss continues to call for Rue as Rue calls for her. Marvel gets to Rue just seconds before Katniss, and as soon as Katniss is in the clearing Marvel, with a devilish grin, spears the little girl in the stomach as she screams. But before he can do anything else Katniss shoots him in the neck with an arrow. Shit, her first real kill. Sure it was to protect Rue, which was in vain since she's evidently going to die, but it's still her first kill. I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. She's going to have an even harder time with Rue's death than I had with Jacob. But she's a better person than I am; she was trying to protect Rue-I didn't protect Jacob.

The day after the mutt attack and when I let Jacob go, I had set up more snares with the intent of catching a Career. I knew that if there was another slow day that I may very well be the target again, so I had to give the audience a show; I wasn't entirely sure that I could make it if I got attacked again, even with my newly acquired miracle medicine. Late afternoon I heard a girl shriek and knew that I had ensnared one of the Careers. When I got there, the one from District 4 was hanging upside-down by her ankle, and she had dropped her mace on the ground out of reach. When I crept up to her with a knife in hand, she seethed at me.

"This is yours 12? You fucking bastard!" she yells at me. I ignore her and start getting in position to slit her throat. But then I hear a voice behind me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, twelve." a male voice speaks. I turn around but get behind the ensnared girl with my knife at her throat before looking up. It's Glaze, the District 1 boy. Shit, I thought the District 4 girl was alone. But no, she's not alone-not only is there Glaze, but there is another person with them. Someone that Glaze is holding with his own knife to their throat-Jacob.

"I think I do." I say, never taking my eyes off Jacob. Why the hell is he with the Careers? He looks terrified, which is unsurprising given his current predicament. I later found out that the Careers had seen me help him in training and they were watching us when I let him go yesterday instead of killing him. So when Jacob ran away they caught him quickly, but didn't kill him. No, they planned to use him against me when they found me.

"Oh I really don't think you do." Glaze continues, "You kill her, I kill him."

I freeze where I am, not moving. Shit, how the fuck did they know that I let Jacob go? That I wouldn't kill him. Jacob looks up at me with a hopeful expression, thinking I'll save him like I did before. And I almost do. But then Katniss's voice is whispering a reminder in my head-any means necessary. You have to win. And then I sense it-they won't actually let him go, or probably me for that matter if I comply. I stare at Jacob while Glaze gives me a wicked grin, thinking he has me caught. Jacob reminds me so much of Rory that I want to protect him. But protecting him will be the death of me and probably him as well. So I make my decision. As Glaze begins to laugh at my hesitancy, I slit the District 4 girl's throat.

BOOM!

Glaze falters for a second, but wastes no time in slitting Jacob's throat as I run at full speed for him with my bloody knife in hand. I know that I'm too late to save Jacob, but I can't let the Career get away regardless, especially now that he knows my secret weapon is snares.

BOOM!

I tackle Glaze to the ground and we fight for a few minutes, but since I took him by surprise I have a bit of an advantage. But he gets in a good swipe at my arm as I plunge my knife into his chest and twist it.

BOOM!

I roll off the now dead Glaze and rip a piece of my shirt off to use as a bandage for my cut on my arm. I look over at the little thirteen-year-old Jacob, now dead, and I want to cry. I want to scream, rip out my hair and hurt myself. I can't believe I let him die. I regret more than anything in my life for not even trying to save him, the boy that reminded me so much of my brother. I promised to come home any means necessary, and this just proves I will. I'm not proud of what I did, but at least I'd kept my promise. I whispered sorry to Jacob before leaving, the only chance I would get to make it up to the little boy I didn't try to save again. That's most of the reason his death was so hard for me-that I didn't try to help. I knew he was going to die, but it would have been so much easier if I hadn't seen, or hadn't cared in the first place-then at least the Careers wouldn't have captured him for the purpose of using him against me. It only makes my guilt that much worse.

I come back to the present and see a parallel in Katniss and Rue to me and Jacob. Though the situation is different, it feels remarkably similar to me. Except Rue is still alive for at least a few minutes, and Katniss tried to protect her. Katniss has taken the little girl in her arms.

BOOM!

That one was for Marvel-Rue is still hanging on, but barely. The little girl asks Katniss if she got rid of all the Careers food and Katniss assures her she did, barely holding in her tears.

"You have to win." Rue whispers to Katniss, and she tells her she will in a shaky voice. Yes Katniss, you have to win. You have to. And if you had listened to me you wouldn't be in this situation, though I'm sure she knows that.

"Sing?" Rue asks her as a last request. For a second I think that Katniss is not going to, but I should have known that she would never deny this little dying girl who reminds her so much of Prim anything. She sings Rue to death, and the entire Mentor Room is silent, listening to her. After all this time and even knowing Katniss better than myself sometimes, I have never heard her sing. I never imagined her voice would be so beautiful. It's heartbreaking given the situation I finally hear it in, and I somehow think I love her even more now. Before she finishes the lullaby, Rue closes her eyes and takes her last breath.

BOOM!

Katniss begins to let her tears fall now on the little dead girl still in her arms as she finishes the song. Once she completes the lullaby, the Mentor Room is still silent, some mentors crying along with Katniss. Katniss has brought humanity to an extremely inhumane place, and the effect is immediate and the sadness can almost be felt in this room, and I'm guessing the rest of the country as well. Good, maybe the fucking Capitolites will see what they've done, what they watch year in and year out without so much as a thought to thinking that the tributes are actually people. That children that young shouldn't even be allowed to fucking get reaped.

"What's wrong with you people? She was going to die anyway." Enobaria breaks the silence with, scoffing at those of us under the spell of Katniss's humanity. I shoot her daggers for being such a heartless bitch and I'm about to shout some very choice words at her when someone does something about it. Johanna happened to be walking around and she comes up behind Enobaria and punches her in the neck so hard that Enobaria slumps in her chair unconscious. The whole room stares at Johanna in shock because of what she just did.

"Oh come on I know all of you wanted to do that." Johanna exclaims, rolling her eyes, "I just took the honor." Well I can't say that she's wrong. Thank you Johanna, for once your knockout skills are actually handy and most of this room is grateful.

The room goes back to their business quietly after that, no one calling the peacekeepers because they know Johanna is right. She comes back to 12's station and sits down with a smirk on her face.

"Thanks for that from everyone." I tell her. Perhaps Johanna actually has some sympathy and compassion in her.

"You know, for once I actually agree with her, but I'm not stupid enough to say it out loud. Plus she's just a bitch and now everyone knows it." she says and turns to watch the center screen. Well, maybe she doesn't have any sympathy left. Still, I can't disagree with the results of her actions, so I guess I'll let it slide.

The center screen is focused on Thresh now, I'm guessing because they don't want people to see Katniss crying over Rue dying more than they have to. But then I see the real reason-Katniss is gathering flowers, and she's decorating Rue with them. I can't believe that she's doing this-it's so downright rebellious and humane that surely the Gamemakers are angry with her and annoyed that they cannot take Rue's body yet. I for one am proud of her. She's doing what I didn't for Jacob-honoring the children that shouldn't have been in the Games, shouldn't have had to die. Though the Gamemakers are making sure the country doesn't see, the mentors can from my screen and many do, staring at it from behind me where they gather. But the country will see when they take her body away in a hovercraft, and they will all know Katniss did it. Once Katniss has covered Rue's wound and braided flowers in her hair, she makes a bouquet and places it in the little girl's hands. But then as an afterthought almost, she unwinds the purple cord from her wrist, cuts about half off with her knife, and makes a second bouquet for Rue to hold. She's doing it for me, for Jacob. She's giving me a signal that she's making up for my lack of honor for Jacob that I regret so much, I know she is. It's also a signal to me that she knows she should have listened to me, because I knew it would be hard for her if she cared.

As Rue's body is lifted and Katniss gives her District 12's three finger salute, I know that she has made a difference in these Games. I can only hope that helps her instead of harms her.


	26. Popular

About an hour after Rue's death, the Mentor Room is still relatively quiet. Katniss has finally pulled herself together somewhat and is on the move again, but from the look in her eyes I can tell that she is still sad and angry at the Capitol. I also see a bit of guilt clouding her expression. I don't know if it's from not saving Rue or not listening to me in the first place, but I'm guessing it's a combination of both. Seeder comes over to me from her station with her blank tablet still in hand, though I can't imagine why. District 11 still has Thresh as a hope, but Seeder no longer needs to be here.

"How's she doing?" Seeder asks me.

"Not well, but she's trying to look strong . Hopefully she doesn't let this affect her too much for the rest of the Games." I reply. Seeder watches Katniss on the screen to see for herself I'm guessing. It's a few minutes before she says anything more.

"I have a rather odd request, but I hope you accept it." she says to me, fidgeting with her tablet in hand.

"What is it?" I ask, perplexed.

"Well, District 11 had pulled together money to send Rue a loaf of our district bread but I wasn't able to send it in time. However, the mayor called me and told me not to pull the gift. District 11 is insisting that I send the bread to Katniss as thanks for honoring Rue. I was hoping you would allow me to transfer the gift to you to send to her." Seeder tells me. I'm in shock. Can we even do that? This has to be a first, a District sending a gift to a tribute from another District. I have to say that this would be by far the strangest gift sent probably in the history of the Games.

"Yeah, sure." I say after I have recovered from my shock. I really doubt that Katniss will know that it's from District 11, but District 11 will know. I can tell Katniss when she gets out why she got this particular gift.

"Thank you." Seeder replies in relief, and quickly transfers the money to buy the gift onto my tablet herself since I don't exactly know how to do it.

When the parachute comes down a few minutes later Katniss looks at it strange for a minute. She's probably wondering why I'm sending a gift now when she's fine on food, but maybe she thinks it's to cheer her up. She can't know what it really stands for-defiance and appreciation. But for reasons I don't understand, she does know that it's from 11 and thanks them out loud for the gift. How the fuck did she know? Seeder is evidently wondering the same, because she has a confused look on her face, but she seems content that the gift was acknowledged even though she didn't expect it to be. I think she's impressed with Katniss, as she pulls her chair up behind where Finnick and I are currently sitting and watches my screen with us. Huh, looks like Catnip has some fans in the Mentor Room.

The death toll comes up for the day and its Marvel, Marisol and then finally little Rue. That's a lot this late in the Games for one day. Perhaps the Gamemakers will even give them a day off to prolong the Games. The Careers are surprised at Marvel's death, and I see a slight hint of fear in Clove's eyes. Damn straight you should fear her, you fucking heartless bitch. I don't know why Cato doesn't seem to fear Katniss. But then again, Cato doesn't seem to be one that fears anyone or anything-plus he might not be totally sane. They assumed correctly that Katniss killed him to avenge Rue, but are still clueless as to how she really did it. What they believe is that she set up yet another snare that he stupidly got caught in. Hell yeah, you think that! Best lie ever-it's working out even better than I thought. Now they will most likely be more careful when they go through the woods looking for her, giving Katniss ample time to sense them near.

As I watch Katniss settle in for the night in a tree, Haymitch comes up and takes the chair that Seeder left vacant when she went back to her station so that Chaff could sleep. He stares me down for a minute, almost as if he's trying to figure out how to say something. Haymitch at a loss for explaining? That can't be good.

"How's she doin?" he asks finally, though I really doubt he cares too much. Probably just buying time for whatever he doesn't know how to say.

"She'll be okay." I answer and he grunts in approval, "What do you really want to tell me?" I accusingly ask, because I know he's uncomfortable about something. He looks a tiny bit surprised that I caught on but doesn't let it affect his reply.

"The Districts liked her singing and flowers stunt. The Capitolites love her because of her smart moves with the tracker jackers and blowing up the supplies." he says, though I don't really think that's the point because that's not hard to say. No, he's hiding something.

"So." I reply, trying to force him to say whatever he's tiptoeing around.

"She's really popular." He replies. Alright, so what?

"Good, it will get her sponsors." I say, and almost turn back to the screen to ignore Haymitch. I don't see why that was so hard to say. But then out of the corner of my eye I see Finnick and Johanna exchange a knowing, worried look.

"Kid, you know what happens to popular Victors." Haymitch says hesitantly, his eyes boring into me to make me understand. It takes me a second, but when I do figure it out I freeze. No. No fucking way. I'm not letting them do that to her.

"No." I exclaim, but it's clear that my answer is in defiance of what I know will happen than that I don't know.

"There's not a way out of it. We'll help her." Finnick exclaims quietly, remorsefully. Trying to assure me that we can make the best out of it. No. I won't let this happen. I don't fucking care that there's seemingly no way out. There has to be.

"Well I'll fucking find a way. I'm not letting them do that to her!"

"That's only an option if she declines. And seeing as she volunteered for her sister, I really doubt she will sentence her to death." Haymitch points out. Well there fucking has to be another option then, because Haymitch is right on that front. But then I look at Finnick and I realize something. His Annie made it out-hell his Annie isn't even in the Capitol. And he is by far the most popular Victor there is, so that would instantly make her popular. How did she get out of the appointments?

"What about Annie? I don't see her around." I say vaguely, but I know he will know what I mean.

"She's…not a popular Victor. It was never going to be a problem." Finnick tells me hesitantly.

"With you as her lover? I highly doubt that." I almost scoff. Why the fuck is Finnick hiding what he did for Annie from me? It could work for Katniss too.

"That's not a well-known fact. Only Victors and Snow know." Finnick replies, almost going into defensive mode. Well, I guess I am kind of verbally attacking him, but still.

"So? She still doesn't have to do it. How did you get her out of them?" I ask, trying to calm down. Finnick gives me a look, but I can see he's struggling for the right words.

Johanna sees this too, and rolls her eyes as she answers my question for Finnick, "That's because Annie went mad when her district partner was beheaded. No one wants an appointment with a mad girl."

Finnick gives her a death glare and clenches his teeth, "Johanna." he seethes, evidently trying to keep himself from attacking her or something. The rage in his expression is so evident I wonder if he's actually seeing red.

Where the fuck did this Finnick come from? I've never seen him as anything but a nice guy, nothing ever fazes him. But apparently this blunt statement of his love's state of mind is pushing him right over the edge. I'd never thought to see him looking so dark, so menacing. It's just not who I thought he was.

It's at that point that I remember that Finnick won his Games when he was 14, one of the youngest Victors ever. He couldn't have done that if he didn't have at least some of this side that I'm seeing now. I really hope I don't see it too often, because frankly he's scaring the hell out of me, and the rage isn't even directed at me. Johanna shrugs and just says it's true, but I can tell she's sorry that she hurt her friend. Finnick plainly feels he needs to clear his head so that he doesn't rip Johanna to pieces or something, because he gets up and leaves the room without another word.

Once I recover from seeing a hint of the dark side of Finnick Odair, I work up the courage to ask what really happened with his Annie. I know Finnick wouldn't tell me, but I bet Johanna would.

"So she went mad? How did she even win?" I ask. I don't really remember, they don't replay her Games too often. Plus I didn't really pay too much attention to the Games on television over the years though I had to act like I was watching them. I spent a majority of my time trying to keep little Posy occupied enough that she wouldn't watch the television because I didn't want her to see the horror of the Games.

"Yeah, she ran from the Career alliance and hid in a cave for two days, barely eating or doing anything at all. We knew she didn't have it in her to kill anyone else, so we had to think of something to make her a Victor." Johanna informs me in a low voice, "So we did the only thing we could think of."

"What?" I ask, perplexed.

She looks me dead in the eyes, leaning in closer as she whispers it. "We cheated."

They cheated. They cheated the Hunger Games to choose the Victor themselves. Brilliant. "How so?" I ask.

"Finnick convinced the Gamemaker in charge of natural disasters to help him, and when there were four tributes left the dam broke from an earthquake, flooding the whole arena. Annie won because she was the best swimmer, but she was still crazy so she wasn't too popular." Johanna tells me. My mouth drops open in shock. Shit, didn't see that coming. Finnick used the Gamemakers almost like I did with my mutt deal. I don't even want to know what it took him to convince the Gamemaker, but if something like that could save Katniss I could really care less.

"That's great! I can't believe he got away with it." I say, almost grinning because if Finnick can cheat, so can I.

"He didn't." Haymitch informs me forcefully, giving me a stern look which tells me he knows I want to find a way to cheat too. "That move saved the girl, but it cost him his family. They were dead by the time he got home from the Games because Snow found out. The Gamemaker mysteriously turned up dead too." My face drains. Shit. It cost him his family to cheat. I could not knowingly condemn my family to death; the whole reason I do the appointments in the first place is to keep them alive. So no cheating, but there still fucking has to be a way. Shit, I feel bad for Finnick. All he has left is Annie. Annie, who Snow couldn't kill because popular or not, she's a Victor. How the fuck is he such a nice guy with all he's been through? I for sure would be a complete wreck.

"No cheating." Haymitch orders me.

"But there still has to be a way. I won't let him do this to her." I say in defiance, even knowing it's probably futile. But I'm not just going to give up.

"There may be one way." Haymitch offers alluringly, and I almost perk up. What the fuck has this crazy smart drunk thought of?

"Well, what is it?" I ask impatiently.

"End the mystery angle. Give them the answer they want and play it right." he exclaims.

"You want me to tell them that we're what? Dating?" I ask incredulously.

"Yeah exactly. It's kind of a twist on the star-crossed lovers, except not as star-crossed. They sponsors will go crazy for a love story." Haymitch replies knowingly.

"That's not going to help with Snow! He sure as hell won't care." I say, because it's true.

"Kid, it can work. Make them want her to be with you more than they want to be with her. The Capitol falls head-over-heals for that love story shit. It can make her immune to them." He tells me. I want to believe him, I really do. If this could get Katniss out of the appointments, I would be eternally grateful But still, he's forgetting one important detail-Katniss doesn't know I love her.

"She doesn't know I actually love her though. How the fuck is she going to make that work in the arena." I state.

"Who cares? Tell her when she gets out." Johanna says to me as she waves it off, clearly agreeing with Haymitch. It's cheating without cheating.

"I don't want any part of our relationship to be fake." I retort, because it's true. I want Katniss to actually want to be with me, not because she was forced to. "Besides, they aren't just going to believe me. We need proof, which we don't have." I remind them. I could tell the Capitolites anything I want, but even they aren't stupid enough to believe me without anything backing it.

"We do have proof kid." Haymitch replies, staring at me willing for me to understand what he's saying. It takes me a second but then it dawns on me, and I'm seeing red. Is he fucking out of his mind?

"What the fuck makes you believe I would let them have that video." I seethe. I refuse to let them see that video of me kissing Katniss on the roof the night before the arena. No, I can't-I won't.

"Kid, don't you fucking get it? That video goes viral and we get your families to say that you've been secretly dating for a few months, and we have a love story like no other. Not only will the sponsors race at the chance to give her money, but might save both your asses. If you really want sweetheart to not do them, then give up your damn pride kid. She'll forgive you eventually." Haymitch almost yells at me-quietly of course, there are a lot of people here. Then I get it. Why he's been gone so much. Why he wanted this mystery thing to draw out. It's all a big fucking show.

"You've been planning this." I accuse. It's not a question.

"Yep." Haymitch replies flatly. I can't believe he's not even going to deny it. Fuck you Haymitch.

"You don't know her. She'll hate me forever. And then I'll fucking hate you for making me do it." I warn with biting anger as I stalk out of the room to go clear my head.

Before I know it I'm on the roof, pulling at my hair trying to get a grip, warring with myself. I should have seen this coming, and I think some part of me knew. But I was so damn focused on just doing anything I could to help her win that I blinded myself to the obvious. I'm such a fucking dumbass sometimes.

What the hell should I do? On one hand, I don't ever want Katniss and me to have something fake. She is the only person I can truly be myself with, and I would never want to change that. Yes, I kissed her and she doesn't know that I love her, but I hadn't planned on kissing her. I hadn't planned on even telling her about how I feel until after she was out of the Games, when she was safe. And I don't even fucking know how she felt about it because I was such a cowardly dumbass and didn't wait for her to say anything.

I'm grateful for Jullus to take the video for me hid it-I hate that Haymitch probably planned to use it in this way since then. Had I known that there were cameras I might not have been so fucking stupid as to do it in the first place. Still, I can't bring myself to willingly allow the video to be seen for the Capitolites' entertainment. No, I can't do it; I have to find another way. Don't be fake with her. She would hate you forever for doing this. Don't force her into anything she may not want.

In my rage, I take a rather large rock from a pot near me and throw it off the roof. To my almost surprise and disappointment, it bounces right back off the force field and damn near takes me out-I had forgotten about the damn force field. Fucking Capitol; they can't even let me be angry properly, mocking me in this as well. I can't do this, I won't let them force me to ruin my relationship with Katniss for anything.

But then some other part of me is fighting my resistance, whether it is my conscience or my sense of strategy I don't know. It could work. It could get not only her out of the appointments but me as well…no, don't fake anything. Don't force it.

But then I see it, what will happen if I do nothing. They would force her. And before I can get the horrible, maddening, disgusting vile thought out of my head, I'm picturing it. Katniss, who has never slept with anyone, being forced into a bed as a sex slave with some creepy old man, who in my head looks disturbingly a lot like Snow. The image makes me throw the rock again against the force field in my complete rage, though I step out of the way this time so it doesn't hit me.

Would she ever forgive me for not trying to stop her from doing that? Hell, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, this disturbing image in my head is enough to make me want to rebel. But am I willing to give up our true relationship in order to save her?


	27. Anxiety

As I hold out the seemingly blank tape to Jullus with trembling hands, I can't help but feel that I am giving my life away. I might as well be; this video may be a key to getting Katniss out of appointments, but it will also most likely ruin our friendship and may make her hate me as well. But I can't just do nothing. I'm choosing the lesser of two evils, but in my mind I feel like I'm still going to get the bad end of the deal-I don't really win either way. Jullus places his hands on the tape to take it from me, but I can't seem to let go, staring it down as if it would disappear into thin air and I could magically come up with another solution. But there isn't one I can think of, and that frustrates me almost as much as the thought of having to do this.

Jullus sees that I can't seem to let go, and places his other hand on top of mine gently, willing me to look up at him. I do, and find compassion and remorse for me in his eyes. "It's alright. This will work." He assures me. While I don't believe him one hundred percent, I don't have another option so I sigh and force myself to let go. He gives me a regretful smile as he walks to the elevator with the tape in hand to give it back to his friend in the Security Room.

As I go back down to the Mentor Room, I think about the awkwardness which will be my life in the coming days. The plan is for Jullus to give the tape back to his friend so that she can 'discover' the roof scene and she'll give it to a Gamemaker or some reporter because they are trying so desperately to end the mystery angle with me and Katniss that Haymitch cooked up, courtesy of Peeta's last words. The tape will be played I'm assuming some time tomorrow morning, forcing our families to admit we're 'dating' and for me to confirm it. I'm still not entirely sure I want to go through with it, but it looks like I'll have to now that it's out of my hands. All I can do now is go to bed and pray that it works out for the best, so that's what I do.

When I wake the next morning, I half expect there to be a reporter in my face trying to get me to explain things, but things seem to be pretty normal. Or at least as normal as it gets in the Mentor Room, so I'm going to go ahead and assume the video hasn't been 'found' yet. I go over to my station and see that Katniss is up and moving again, but she seems a little down which is what I kind of expected. Rue's death is affecting her big time, more than she needs right now. I feel like she's forgetting that she has a purpose, a reason to win. I think it over and look at her sponsor money. I know I shouldn't, I know I should save this money for when she really needs it, but a mood lifter will help her immensely at this point so I feel like it will be worth it.

When the silver parachute comes down, she again looks confused as to why I'm sending her a gift for seemingly no reason like the bread last night. But when she opens it and sees the perfect flower (the most expensive flower I've ever bought, seeing as I haven't bought a flower before and the price is ridiculous since it's the Games), a primrose, I see a small smile crack though her depressed expression and I know it was worth it. Yes, that flower may look worthless-it not like she can eat it or kill someone with it-but it will remind her that Prim is waiting for her, that she needs to win. I know Prim will know this as well, and I'm certain she's smiling back home at my gift too. Katniss places the flower in her braid, and while her eyes are still sad, I know that she has a new surge of determination to get on with the Games. Mission accomplished.

By lunchtime I'm getting antsy because nothing has happened yet. In the Games, the remaining tributes are just walking around or sleeping, and the video hasn't been played yet so the Mentor Room is just like it always is. Why isn't the video on yet? Has Jullus given it to his friend, or has his friend had trouble getting the video to the media? Or worse, has Snow figured out what our intentions with the video are so he's holding it? Are peacekeepers going to be busting in at any moment to have Snow interrogate me, laughing as he destroys the video in front of me and the fact that I even attempted to try to stop Katniss's potential appointments?

I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. On one hand I don't want the video to be shown because it only means that I'm most likely ruining my friendship with Katniss, but on the other hand I'm getting so antsy that it hasn't been played yet that I'm going stir crazy. Essentially I'm a mess right now, but I have to try so fucking hard to look like nothing's wrong. People probably think I'm crazy. Who knows? Maybe I am. Great, now I'm questioning my mental state.

I wait in the Mentor Room for any news at all, any strange looks from other mentors until about three in the afternoon. When nothing at all happens up until that point, I'm getting so fidgety that I know I'm going to have to do something or people are going to catch on that I know something is going to happen. Which it should have already. Where the fuck is Haymitch, and why hasn't the ball gotten rolled yet? Sighing, I go to get some food-for one because I'm starving but mostly just to get out of this damn chair. On my way to the food room, I finally run into someone with answers-Haymitch.

"Well?" I say vaguely with an annoyed tone.

"Taking longer than we thought. It will be tonight." He answers. No specifics of course, we wouldn't want anyone to know what we're talking about.

"Good." I say, even though I'm still not positive how good it will be. After all, there is a chance that this will all be for nothing-I could have just ruined our friendship and not stopped her potential appointments anyway. I should be more optimistic, but really, that's not me. It's not like I have had a life to be very optimistic about.

Haymitch goes in the direction of the mentor room with a knowing smirk on his face and I continue to go down the hall to get food. So tonight then. Tonight will change everything-for better or worse I still haven't decided. At least I'll have another few hours if not more to calm myself down and figure out how I will react. I should look really surprised, since of course I should have never expected there to be a video in the first place, let alone seeing it played on television. Well, that's not hard, I really didn't expect it. But since I do know it's coming, I can't come off fake surprised and definitely not expecting because that would be too obvious.

The second my foot is in the food room, everyone turns and stares at me-some smirking, some trying mostly in vain to hold in a smile. What the fuck? I'm confused until I look up at the television screen on the wall and my mouth drops open in shock, and I stop short where I am. On the screen is a mostly dark screen, but the light has been changed enough so that you can quite clearly identify the two people on the roof are. Kissing.

Damn you Haymitch for lying to me.

My cheeks go red in embarrassment before my expression turns to anger, which makes a few of the mentors in the room chuckle under their breath as they pass me in the doorway where I am frozen in place. I'm still pissed that Haymitch told me it was going to be on tonight when he so obviously knew that this would happen the second I walked into this room, but I guess it was for the best. My reaction is definitely believable enough; don't have to worry about that one.

"Secret's out Hawthorne." One of the Career mentors, I think the one from District 1 tells me, laughing as he goes out the door back to the Mentor Room. This snaps me out of my frozen state and I go further into the room, eyes glued to the television.

The reporters keep going back and forth between the video that they 'found' and clips of Katniss in not only the Games but in the week before them. They are connecting things that aren't connected to us being in a relationship at all, but I have to say that they're doing a damn good job of making it appear we are. Me being the one to take a screaming Prim off of her at the reaping. Katniss's interview where she appears annoyed that Ceaser is asking if we are more than best friends (her annoyance was from him prying, but it works into the plan right now so I'm not complaining). Katniss avoiding an answer to Rue's question when she asked if there was someone else and that's why she and Peeta weren't really star-crossed lovers. My refusal to answer any questions about if I was the one Peeta was talking about that needs Katniss or what our relationship status was. The reporters go on and on how they suspected it all along, but this recently found video on the roof just proves it. That Katniss and I are together. What they can't figure out is why we were hiding it. Probably because we aren't really together dumbasses.

Still, I have to say they are doing a splendid job of making it appear that we are dating. Of course we aren't-we are (and hopefully still after this) really close best friends, but they don't need to know that. In fact, they are doing so much of the work for me to make this believable that I might take back my hatred for Capitol reporters. Might. Hopefully Snow believes this shit that they are pulling out of thin air to make it seem that we are dating, because his opinion is unfortunately the one that matters in our case. The Capitolites and probably even the Districts believe it, but I'm willing to bet Snow won't-the bastard's just too fucking smart to, as much as I hate to admit it. I'm going to have to go above and beyond to make him believe. And I'm guessing a part of that will be explaining why we hid our 'relationship' not just from the Capitol, but from the District besides our families as well. Fanfuckingtastic.

"So your tribute's your girlfriend?" I hear a voice behind me ask curiously. I vaguely recognize the voice but I can't tell who it is so I turn around to see. Surpisingly enough, it's Enobaria. No wonder I didn't know it was her; I've never heard her tone of voice be anything but scowling or yelling.

"Yeah." I confirm, suspicious of why she's asking. I think it's pretty damn obvious according to the television, even though it's not true at all. Plus I don't trust her, nor do I particularly like her. And I know she doesn't like me-she's made that clear enough. Though I get the feeling she doesn't like a lot of people though I'm guessing that's a mutual feeling, especially after her comment about Rue's death.

"I see." she nods in understanding, "It must be horrible for you to have someone so close to you in the arena." she says, attempting to make it sound compassionate and failing miserably because being Enobaria, it still sounds sarcastic. Which is probably what it really is anyway.

"It is, but I really doubt you care." I state bluntly, calling her out on her bluffing sympathy.

She gives me a wicked grin, her golden sharp teeth shining, "You're right, I don't care."

"So what do you want then?" I ask, exasperated and even more suspicious. Not that I would put it past her to just rub it in, but I have a feeling it's more than that.

"Confirmation." She tells me, and I roll my eyes at her.

"What, this fucking video wasn't enough?" I say, pointing angrily to the television. I hope it's enough-if it can't fool Enobaria, there's no way in hell it's going to fool Snow.

"No it was. I just wanted to know why you would hide your relationship and do something as stupid as kiss her in the Capitol." She says. Good fucking question. I don't know what reason I would have to hide it.

"We didn't know there was a camera up there." I defend, deliberately avoiding the first part of her curiosity. Why am I talking to her anyway? I should have left when she came in so I wouldn't be trying to defend myself for things that aren't actually true and I don't know how to defend them in the first place.

"Shame you didn't. Would have been better for you if you'd known about the cameras." she declares, her expression unreadable as she walks away from me. What the fuck did that mean? It must have been sarcastic, because I really can't see her saying that sincerely. But even if it was, does she know something? Does she think that Katniss will get appointments and I will have to watch my 'girlfriend' do them? Was this really all for nothing?

Shaking my head to clear it, I grab the closest food item to me and turn to stalk back to the Mentor Room. Last time I go to the food room alone-don't want any more strange or awkward conversations with Enobaria of all people. When I turn around, I see Johanna looking at Enobaria and then her eyes fall on me.

"So, what did the Wicked Bitch of District Two want?" she asks with a smirk, to which Enobaria turns in Johanna's to give her a look that could kill before turning back to the food. I expected Enobaria to snap something horrible back or worse. Maybe Johanna knocking her out did the trick to shut her up-for now at least.

I roll my eyes. Johanna knows the truth about the video, but I'm guessing she couldn't pass up an opportunity to take a jab at Enobaria where she could hear it. I kind of like the sound of this name though; it's got a nice ring to it. I answer "confirmation" with air quotes quietly, to which Johanna gives me a short chuckle to and follows me back to the Mentor Room.

I take my chair and I see Haymitch already sitting at our station with a confident smirk that I'd love to punch off his face.

"So I see you've seen the news." He guffaws, but I know the real reason he's laughing is because he knew that I would be shocked when I saw it because he lied to me.

"Asshole." I mutter back, knowing he will find the double meaning in it. Thanks and no thanks for lying, and fuck you for making me do this in the first place. But to anyone else it will seem like I'm just pissed that he's laughing at me, which is also true.

He raises his glass of liquor at the jab with a cocky grin as he goes back to watching the center screen and I follow his example.

As night approaches and the death toll shows no deaths today, I'm sort of surprised that the Gamemakers allowed such a boring day in the Games this late into them. Well, that very well could be because there were three deaths yesterday, but still. I'm sure Katniss is getting anxious because nothing happened and expects some 'excitement' Gamemaker style soon. I would too, to be honest, but it's not like the tributes know what's going on outside of the arena. And it still might happen anyway. But perhaps the entertainment outside the arena was enough excitement for the day-after all, I really doubt that the audience is bored with the 'news breaker.' Guess this is better timing than I thought to break out the video.

I watch Katniss tie herself to the tree she's climbed and get into the sleeping bag with a nervous look on her face. As I predicted, she's evidently worried about the Gamemakers making entertainment for the Games and she doesn't want to get caught unawares again like the fire earlier on. Just in case I'm wrong and the video wasn't enough entertainment, I decide to stay up all night with the help of Awake bars and watch her.

As she closes her eyes cautiously, I touch my hand to the screen, wishing I was actually touching her face rather than just the cold plastic (or whatever it's made of) screen. Don't worry Catnip, I'm trying to take care of you. Whether you like me or not afterwards is another question, but I'm going to try to stop this for you any means necessary. Snow will not get the last laugh on this one.


	28. Be Vulnerable

Two Awake bars and twelve hours later, I'm still up and Katniss is already on the move. Luckily the Gamemakers didn't play with the tributes last night-guess the video really was enough entertainment. But all that means is that something is bound to happen today in the arena if the tributes don't do it themselves, and my evident crash from the Awake bars will be for nothing. I know I shouldn't –I know I really fucking shouldn't but I grab a third Awake bar. Sure the last time I had three I crashed for like fourteen hours, but I can't go to sleep now-not when something is bound to happen today that I should be awake for to see in the arena. People are going to be paying even closer attention to Katniss than usual courtesy of that damn video, and you can bet your ass if she doesn't do something soon, they'll force her to.

"And the newest hot couple of Panem is…" Finnick teases me as he sits down.

"Funny," I roll my eyes at him in response, "So how's it look out there?" Seeing as I can't really leave, Finnick has become my own reporter on how the Capitolites are reacting to the video and the 'relationship' since he can leave.

"Crazy. The Capitolites are all over the Galeniss." He grins at me with a playfully evil expression.

"Galeniss?"

"Yeah, you know, they smushed your names together-Gale, Katniss; Galeniss. That's what they're calling you two." He explains with a laugh.

"That's…kind of retarded." I answer. Seriously, can't these fucking Capitolites even call people by their own names? Do they do this for all couples? Hell, I'd almost prefer star-crossed lovers. Almost.

"Hey you asked for this." he chuckles, "I think it's kind of cute." he teases me. Cute? Well two can play that game.

"Oh so you think it's cute, huh? What if it was you and Annie…Fannie!" I reply back with my own playful smirk. I really shouldn't be having fun with this because the name does irritate me. But Fannie sounds so much stupider than Galeniss that I can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of this whole thing.

"Oh god that's even worse." he half grimaces, "I take it back, Galeniss isn't cute-it's dumb."

"Oh no, you can't take it back now! I now dub you and your love Fannie." I say with a cocky grin, to which he just rolls his eyes with a light smile.

"Yeah the Capitolites will be thrilled with me being connected to someone that way." He jokes, which sobers us both almost instantly. That's another thing I'm worried about. Will the Capitolites love us as a couple enough so that not only Katniss but maybe I don't have to go on appointments? I know for a fact that Capitolite women don't like to think that Victors that they think might love them because we have to act that way would be too thrilled to know it was an act the whole time. It's one of the main reasons that not many people know that Finnick loves Annie.

"Really-I think this might work in your case." He says after a minute quietly, both of us back to being serious now.

"I hope so." I respond with a sigh. He gives me a hopeful smile and we silently go back to watching the arena.

Not much happens again today, but I don't dare to hope that the Gamemakers will allow another boring day, even if yesterday they did nothing because there was more than enough entertainment outside of the arena. Katniss takes the opportunity to make this a hunting day and by noon she has two of the birds that Rue called groosling and two squirrels. Since she's just feeding herself it's more than enough, but I think she really keeps hunting just to do something. After all, she may look like she's concentrating hard and might be hunting other tributes, but I know better. She's getting more fidgety by the hour that she hasn't been entertaining enough, so she's attempting to look like she's doing something entertaining. I can't say that I blame her-I'm on edge too, waiting nervously for whatever the hell the Gamemakers undoubtedly have planned.

Thresh is still in his field, but he's at the edge of it, chased there by mutts. Not exactly as entertaining as it was before, but I have a feeling that was because they threw something worse at him then because he was the only real competitor conscious at the moment. Now they leave him mostly alone, since he is venturing for what I'm sure is the first time into the woods. However, this plan to get him out of the grain field practically bit the Gamemakers in the ass because now the remaining Careers, Cato and Clove, are on the hunt in them, undoubtedly looking for Thresh. Why are they looking for him? Could they…be scared of Katniss? That would certainly be helpful, but I really doubt at least Cato is. Perhaps they feel as if they have been ignoring Thresh, an evident competitor for too long? Maybe a little of both? Either way, it's not going to do much of anything at the moment because they are further in the field than Thresh is.

Quinn is as usual, being her invisible self and doing absolutely nothing but scavenging around, though she does appear to be closer to Thresh than I bet she would like to be. She's the one I'm really surprised that the Gamemakers have yet to do anything to. After all, she's killed no one and she's not done anything enormously entertaining the entire Games. Maybe her invisible strategy is working on them as well-it's a miracle that she's in the top five when she's done shit.

Around one o'clock in the afternoon, there is a huge clap of thunder in the arena and a terrencial downpour begins out of nowhere throughout the entire arena. Not sure how a thunderstorm is going to create entertainment-in fact, it seems to be to the contrary as everyone aside from the Careers take cover. Which can only mean one thing-this thunderstorm's real purpose is to be a dramatic backdrop for whatever the Gamemakers really have planned for entertainment. And it's going to be big I'm guessing.

All I can hope is that it better not fucking be Katniss as their entertainment target, but somehow I don't believe in miracles for that one. These entire fucking Games have basically been about Katniss; the fire couldn't have been a coincidence, the bow in the arena was meant for her. Hell, they even gave the tributes a dull day yesterday and half of today, just because of the video. Okay, well technically that last one was me, but that video was about her too. I don't dare to dream that she won't be their target for whatever evil entertainment they have hatched for this afternoon. Which leads me to my next decision. I've already had three Awake bars in the past twenty four hours, but I can already feel this one wearing off. I can't crash now, not when I feel positive that she's going to be in trouble in a matter of hours if not sooner. So I decide to eat a fourth Awake bar.

Even as I take the first bite I hear Jullus's voice in the back of my head warning me that eating too many of these will harm you more than hurt you, but I don't see another option so I ignore the voice. Almost immediately after taking my first bite, I realize something off. Usually when I take the first bite of an Awake bar, I instantly feel like I could run ten miles without ever having to stop and still have the energy to swim five miles afterwards. But this time, I only get a hint of that feeling-it's more like I could still run the ten miles, but I would still be tired at the end. Maybe it's just because I have been up for a really long time and that has an effect that even the awake bar can't control. After all, I have been up well past two days at this point. I shrug it off and eat the rest of the Awake bar quickly, and once I finish I finally feel the effect that it should have had on the first bite. Satisfied, I go back to watching the screen, ignoring the strange alarmed look Finnick is giving me. What, like he's never used Awake bars before?

As the afternoon goes by, still not much happens in the Games. What are they waiting for? Why haven't they done anything yet? Thresh has ventured back into his grain field, which would be good for a potential confrontation with Cato and Clove. That is, if they were coming out of the grain field, evidently giving up for now on hunting Thresh. They sit down by the Cornucopia and eat what they got as a sponsor gift. I haven't been paying as much attention to them as I should, but I'm guessing that this is the only way that they are getting food now. Katniss really did level the playing field with blowing up their supplies-the Careers don't know the first thing about finding food in nature. Maybe that's the reason they gave up so early on hunting Thresh. Between the torrential downpour and probably for the first time in their lives not having three meals a day, I bet they ran out of energy faster than they would like. Not that they would ever admit it, but still.

Somewhere in the middle of me contemplating on sending Katniss a sponsor gift of food myself since she didn't have time to cook the food before the rain and wondering what the fuck the Gamemakers are going to pull out of their asses for entertainment, Haymitch comes in. He slumpos down in his chair and watches me, waiting for me to speak first.

"What do you want?" I ask. I try to make it sound harsh, but strangely all I can muster is an almost drunk tone. What the fuck? I haven't had any alcohol, why do I sound drunk?

"They want an interview." he tells me, ignoring my strange tone. Well, he's probably drunk himself, so maybe he doesn't notice. Or maybe he thinks the stress has gotten to me and I've slipped a few drinks myself.

"Oh okay." is all I reply. I kind of expected this. In fact, I'm surprised that I wasn't dragged down for one sooner. Considering the video was shown over a day ago, I thought that reporters would have been up my ass this morning at the latest. I stand to follow him, and feel a bit whoozy. What the hell? I know I didn't drink, and now I'm feeling drunk too. Unless someone slipped some in my drinks….no, I know the taste of alcohol. I would have recognized it if I was drinking it. Maybe this is what it feels like to not sleep for two days.

I follow Haymitch to the elevator while concentrating on walking straight, which shouldn't be this hard. However, I can do it with all my focus so I don't get any strange looks on the way there thank god. I'm in such a daze that I don't realize that Haymitch hit the button for the Remake center instead of the lobby or even our floor until I step out of the elevator. I give him a confused look to which he luckily answers.

"Your interview's with Ceaser. Ya know, it's important enough." He says. While his tone is nonchalant almost, his hard concentrating eyes tell me a different story.

Snow wanted this to be with Ceaser. Snow feels it's important to see me on that stage, to prove myself. It's at this point that I realize how incredibly dangerous this could be. If I fuck it up or am not convincing enough on that stage, everything could go to shit. "I can understand that." I say, expressing with my eyes that I know what this is really about. How serious this is.

"You know what you're going to have to do then kid." he warns me.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I'm going to like it." I nod with a sigh. I know exactly what this means. Very much like with Katniss not wanting the Capitol to pry in her life, to take everything from her, I don't want to either. But if this has any shot in hell of convincing Snow that we are together, I'm going to have to go above and beyond that. I'm going to have to open up completely, be vulnerable. I'm going to have to tell them all how much I truly love that girl. And I'll hate every second of it. Not just because I have to show that side of me to them, but because if anyone at all, Katniss should have been the one to see it first. And since I don't really know how she feels about me and I'm saying that we are already a couple, she may very well hate me for going this far. Hell, I'll probably hate myself. But I can't let Snow get his filthy hands on her for appointments. That in itself is worse than not knowing what Katniss will do to me when she finds out what I've done. At least Katniss won't kill my family, unlike Snow might do just to spite me for trying to undermine him.

An hour later, I'm in a suit which feels too tight and I unfortunately have some makeup on my face. I'm about five minutes from being called onstage with Ceaser and I'm standing on the side of it, holding onto the chair in front of me so I don't fall. What the fuck is wrong with me? I took that Awake bar, I should be fine. I almost feel like I'm in a daze right now, like I'm somewhere between reality and a dream. Or in my case, a nightmare. Haymitch comes up to me and scrutinizes me for a second.

"You ready for this?" he asks almost cautiously.

I give a short snort, "No, but I don't think I'll ever be."

"You okay kid? Ya look kinda out of it." He asks with general concern. Haymitch concerned? Now I know I'm dreaming. But if he's saying something about it, I probably look almost as out of it as I feel. That's not good. I nod, but I don't think he buys that I'm fine.

"When's the last time you slept kid?" he asks. I shrug because I honestly can't remember at this point, and he stares at me for a minute. He pulls something out of his pocket, a pill, and hands it to me. I take the pill in my hand and scrutinize it for a second before he enlightens me on what it is.

"It's an adrenaline pill. It will get you back to yourself, but it only works for about an hour." Haymitch informs me. That's all the information I need to know. I find a glass of water as soon as I can and swallow the pill quickly. Like the Awake bars, I feel almost instantly better. It pushes away the daze I've been in for hours and I can actually walk and stand straight again without concentrating. I still despise the Capitol, but damn, they know what they're doing with medicine and shit.

Before I know it, I'm onstage shaking Ceaser's hand with a smile plastered on my face, the crowd's loud applause drowning out the doubts in my head. As I sit down in the chair next to Ceaser and he quiets down the audience, I mentally collect myself. Okay Gale, be vulnerable about the true parts and lie your ass off about the relationship part. I cringe internally about being vulnerable, but I'm just going to have to suck it up. There's a lot more on the line with this one interview than I could have imagined. Convince Snow, gotta convince Snow. I tell myself like a manta.

"So Gale, I'm sure you know why you're here with us tonight." Ceaser gets the ball rolling with.

I give him a sheepish grin and answer, "Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever see myself kissing on a television either."

The audience along with Ceaser laughs at that, and the interview continues, "We most certainly didn't. So, you and Miss Everdeen are in a relationship?"

"Yes. I think the Security person took care of answering that question." I answer, and the audience laughs again. Good, I hopefully have them in the palm of my hand.

"It most certainly did. Now can you tell me, how long have you been together?"

"Four months." I answer. Haymitch told me that's what our families agreed on to tell the reporters back in 12.

"I see. What a whirlwind it has been for you I'm sure, to just begin to know each other and have Miss Everdeen be a tribute." Ceaser comments. Well no shit, it's still bad even if we aren't really dating.

"It is, but luckily we weren't just getting to know each other. Katniss and I have been best friends for years, long before we began dating." I inform them. Well, that's pretty much a true statement. I get an aww from the audience and a warm smile from Ceaser at that one.

"Well that's lovely!" he replies, "Tell me, what changed to make you begin dating after so long?" he pries. I internally gulp, knowing this is where I'll have to start being vulnerable.

"Well…I don't know if it was just years of knowing each other better than ourselves, or just a moment of clarity, but suddenly I couldn't see myself with anyone but her." I reply. Well that much is true. It really was a moment of clarity for me, when I strangely found myself jealous around six months ago when Darius was teasing Katniss about buying one of his kisses. We were just friends, but I found myself minding. All I could think is that Katniss was mine. I confused myself for a while until I realized that I really did have feelings for her.

The audience is almost beside themselves now, and Ceaser has a genuine smile on his face. "Now Gale, would it be true to say that you love her?" he asks, leaning in with the question. The audience shushes themselves, not wanting to miss one word. Come on Gale, don't hold back. Just pretend the audience isn't here. Let them see how you really feel.

"Yes, I love her-more than anything." I give a sad smile, the truth shining through my eyes. The audience squeals with joy and some are shouting sweet things. Good I think and take a deep breath internally. Come on Gale, don't fight this.

"Aw well that's great. Now tell me, why did you hide your relationship?" he asks curiously. I knew this was coming. It's what everyone has been asking in the first place. I still don't know what to say, but almost as if I'm unconsciously answering him, the words start pouring out of me.

"We knew there was already going to be a target on her back, what with her being the first volunteer in District 12 in decades. We also knew that since people only thought we were best friends in our district, we couldn't just come out with it now. It would appear to be a strategy if we did that." I force out. I know I'm coming far too close to the truth with that last one, but my mouth seems to be separated from the rest of my body at this point. I can feel the adrenaline pill fighting my dazed state from before.

"Why did you hide your relationship in your district?" he asks, luckily ignoring that last part.

"It sounds selfish, but we just wanted to be us for a while without everyone looking at us differently, so we only told our families." I answer. Really, it's the only reason I can think of. Better to be selfish than to be outright lying to them. Snow would catch on to a lie faster than anyone.

"Well it appears that your District wouldn't have been too surprised. When we asked around, everyone assumed that if you weren't together, you would be eventually." He gives me a sly grin, but I know it's because he's teasing me rather than being secretive.

I give him another shy grin and I can feel my cheeks go a little red in embarrassment, "Yeah, I think the District knew before we did." I say as I comb my hand through my hair. The audience laughs at our obliviousness to ourselves.

"Well that might actually be true in your case." Ceaser laughs along with the audience, but then is serious again. "Now, our time is almost up…" he is cut off by the boos of the audience but he just speaks louder this time, "But before we go, I have one last thing for you to answer."

I nod for him to go ahead and ask, and he continues, "Now Gale, do you believe that Katniss can win?"

"Absolutely." I answer automatically; I glance to the audience and lock eyes with Haymitch. He gestures for me to elaborate. "She's smart, talented, and has wicked aim with a bow. And I'm not just saying that because I love her. She also never breaks a promise, and not only did she promise me that she would come home, but her sister as well."

"And if she didn't come home?" he asks me. I physically grimace, not even wanting to think about it. But I have to answer. Be vulnerable, convince Snow.

"I…I really don't know. It's no exaggeration to say that we need each other." I begin. Well that much is true; according to Cinna at least she said that too, "My world would be a dark place without her. She is my light, my love, my everything. I would be completely lost. So she has to win."

I get more awws and some cries from the audience, and even Ceaser is looking at me with sympathy. I feel raw, like an animal that I have skinned. I feel like I'm too exposed and now everyone can see my secrets and wishes because they are all out on the table now. So this is what it feels like to be vulnerable. No wonder I always wore a mask of emotional strength-I fucking hate this feeling.

"I think I can safety say that not only my heart but everyone elses goes with you on that one. We will be waiting for Katniss to hopefully fulfill her promise and come back to you." He gives me a warm, heartfelt smile. I thank him and the roaring of the audience as I climb off the stage is maddening, and I can definitely hear a few cries in there.

Well, mission accomplished on convincing the country. Now all I have to worry about is Snow. Did he buy it? Does he think we really are in a relationship? Will it be enough to get Katniss out of appointments? I meet Haymitch when I'm off the stage and in the waiting room, but I can feel my daze coming back. Why are there two Haymitchs? I didn't know he had a twin. When he speaks, its like his words are not in line with his mouth moving.

"Great job kid." I nod, feeling whoozy again. I try to walk over to the chair to sit down, but I feel myself tripping over my own shoes as I try to get there. My hearing has turned to a loud high pitched sound, my head is pounding, and I can feel my eyesight going. What the fuck? As my sight switches between black and a somewhat reality, somewhere in my head I hear Haymitch's voice.

Kid?

I try to answer him, tell him I'm fine but my mouth is running away from me. Come back!

Gale?

Okay now I know I'm dreaming. I don't think Haymitch has ever called me by my name before. What's going on? I feel for the chair that I desperately need to sit in, but as soon as I touch it I feel myself falling and the world goes black.


	29. If Only

As the haze lifts and I blink my vision clear, the first thing I realize is that I have no idea where the hell I am. The last thing I remember is coming off the stage after the interview and something about Haymitch having a twin, and then my memory goes blank. Wait, Haymitch doesn't have a twin-was I hallucinating? I go to rub my eyes with my hands and I feel a slight tug on my right arm when I lift it. What? I see that I'm hooked up to some machine and the slight tug was the tube I'm connected to that is filled with a muggy white substance. What the hell is going on? I look down and see that I'm also in a hospital gown. Why am I in the hospital? I don't remember hurting myself.

"Welcome back kid." I hear Haymitch say. I search around the room and find him in a chair against the wall about three feet from the bed I'm in.

"What happened?" I ask, holding my hands to my aching head and I feel a giant lump near my forehead. Huh? I still have no idea how I ended up here or why.

"Well let's see. Oh yes, you hadn't slept for two days, ate far more Awake bars than is good for your health, and since you didn't tell me that, I gave you an adrenaline pill which mixed with the Awake bar in a bad way." He informs me with a tone that drips I told you so.

"And?" I ask. That doesn't explain why I'm hooked up to a machine.

"You passed out kid. Bad. You got a concussion when you fell." Haymitch replies.

"Oh." I say. Well that explains the headache and the lump on my head.

"No more Awake bars for you." I hear Jullus say from the doorway, "I was worried that you wouldn't heed my warning. They are really dangerous if you take too many-especially if you add something else on top of it, like the adrenaline pill."

I'm slightly embarrassed, but Jullus's warning reminds me why I ate so many Awake bars in the first place. Considering that she's my first priority, I should have asked this first. "How's Katniss? Is she okay? Did it work?" I spit out the questions, the desperation evident in my voice.

Haymitch just guffaws at all my questions and after I stare at him in irritation for a moment he answers, "Yeah she's fine. And we still don't know about Snow, but the country is sure buying it."

I relax a little bit after that. Thank god she's okay. "How long was I…you know…out?"

"About a day." answers Jullus.

"A day!" I exclaim. I'm a fucking mentor; I can't be gone that long!

"Hey kid, you did this to yourself." Haymitch reminds me. Oh is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it only makes me feel more guilty.

"What happened in the Games?" I ask, shaking my head in disbelief at myself. I recall something about being worried about the Gamemakers whipping up some entertainment and a thunder storm, but other than that I can't really remember why I took that fourth awake bar.

"It's still raining buckets, but it's down to four." Haymitch answers me.

"Who died?" I ask. I know it's not Katniss because I know Haymitch wouldn't dare lie to me about that, nor would Jullus. I hope it's Cato or Clove-preferably Cato.

"Quinn." Jullus answers me. Wow, I'm a little surprised by that, but not really. I mean with her be invisible game, she must have died courtesy of the Gamemakers, but I would have thought she would have lasted a little longer than that.

"Mutts?" I guess. Really, I think it's the only thing that she couldn't beat if it wasn't another tribute. She's too smart to get caught by another tribute or get killed by a mudslide or something-or was anyway.

"No, suicide." Jullus answers with a grimace.

"What?" I say, baffled. It's not unheard of for tributes to kill themselves but it is certainly unusual, especially this late in the Games. She was so close to the end; why would she kill herself now of all times? If she was going to commit suicide, then she could have saved herself a lot of trouble and died in the bloodbath.

"She got cornered by Cato and Clove. Some mutts drove her to them." Jullus explains. I fucking knew it-the Gamemakers felt like she hadn't done anything so they sent mutts after her. Thank god Katniss has done a lot aside from the last few days.

"The girl panicked and took out some berries from her backpack. She hit the ground dead in seconds." Haymitch continues. Interesting. Well, it was probably a faster, more painless death than it would be by the Careers hands. I can almost understand why she did it-she knew she had no chance against them and she definitely wasn't a fighter. Katniss said that she spent a majority of training at the edible plants station, so I bet she knew those berries were poisonous. Sounds like it was nightlock-you eat one, you're dead before it hits your stomach.

"I'm sure the Careers loved that." I respond sarcastically, rolling my eyes. Probably pissed that their first fun thing in days killed itself before they could.

"You could say that. Did enough stomping around and slicing a tree once they figured out what she did." Haymitch snorts.

"I bet." I grin. The Careers being pissed off somehow makes it seem sweeter. "So can I go back to the Mentor Room now?"

Haymitch guffaws again, "Sure kid. If only that one track mind of yours didn't bite you in the ass so much." I roll my eyes at him and I take the tube out of my arm. Jullus hands me clothes from my room on the 12th floor and once I'm changed I follow Haymitch back to the Mentor Room.

On my way there, I think about how it's down to the final four tributes now-Katniss, Cato, Clove, and Thresh. The top four according to training scores and most likely the top four contestants all along. The Capitolites must be excited and I bet the Gamemakers are too. It's not rare to have the final four be some of the highest scores, but it is certainly not normal for half of them to be non-Careers. Add that to the 'relationship' thing, this must be the most exciting Games to the Capitolites in a long time. Even with the strange suicide of Quinn. All the more better for the Capitolites-it adds more drama anyway.

Of course I can't escape thinking about my own Games now that my mind is focused on the final four tributes. My Games was down to four after Jacob died and I killed the girl from District 4 and Glaze. In my Games, it was down to me, the boy from District 4, Emerald from 1 and Audrey from 2. I knew it would be bad, but damn, just the thought of going up against three Careers scared the shit out of me, as much as I hated to admit it. Especially since I'd guessed that up to that point, those remaining three were in an alliance still since the two I killed were alone and the District 2 boy was killed earlier on. I was partially right, but I didn't know until the review of the Games after I was already a Victor. The two remaining girls, Emerald and Audrey, were the ones who broke the Career alliance. Emerald killed the District 2 boy in his sleep and Audrey was about to kill the District 4 boy when the cannon for the first went off. The District 4 boy awakened immediately to Audrey with a knife in hand over him. He fought her and got injured, but surprisingly made it off alive into the woods. The other two Careers, the ones I killed slipped away together when they realized what Emerald and Audrey were doing. Therefore, the alliance was mostly broken, and Emerald and Audrey's plan to kill off at least three of their allies that morning failed miserably, what with them only killing one person. The District 4 boy had run off with nothing but his spear, so he was injured badly with no way to treat it. Luckily for him, he got a sponsor gift and bandaged it up. Unfortunately for him though, the day after it was down to the final four he got attacked by mutts. He died from his fatal injuries a few hours later, and just like that it was down to three. If only Katniss was so lucky! Even if it was only one of the other three injured badly, that would immensely help her. Since usually when there are only three left the Games go rather quickly, I knew that the Games would be over the next day at the latest. Wow that was the weirdest feeling in the world-knowing that by tomorrow you would be dead or a Victor.

If only I knew before that no one really wins the Hunger Games; in a way, the dead are really the lucky ones. They don't have to deal with all the shit that comes with being a Victor, especially if you're popular. It's almost better to be dead than to essentially be owned by the Capitol. I hate to admit that, but it's pretty much true. But even after everything I've had to go through, after everything I'm still going through, I can't regret not dying in that arena. The look on Posy or any member of my family's faces reminds me that it was worth it. That I would do anything to give them the best possible life, no matter the consequences to myself. I know Katniss would feel the same, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to get her out of the appointments. Maybe it's partly selfish because I do love her and wouldn't want her in bed with anyone besides me (you know, eventually) but it's horrible for anyone to have to do. Snow fucking better believe that we're together or we're in much deeper shit than just appointments.

As we enter the Mentor Room, I'm immediately greeted with a lot of smiles and looks of relief. Shit, does everyone know what happened? Guess I didn't really have to convince the Victors that I was crazy in love-I actually am. I warily take my chair next to where Finnick and Johanna are sitting at 12's station, and they both look happy to see me. Well Finnick does-Johanna gives me a playful smirk, but I think that's the closest to a happy or relieved Johanna I'm ever going to see.

"Hey, glad you're back." Finnick says with sincerity as he hands over Katniss's tablet. Really, I honestly couldn't ask for a better friend in Finnick-considering how much I'm going through this year (and I'll admit some of it I did to myself), I feel like I owe him big time. And I do actually trust that he would have taken care of Katniss if it was needed when I was out. I'm still working on trusting Johanna, but I'm getting there.

"Thanks. And thanks for this." I reply gratefully, gesturing that I'm talking about essentially taking over as mentor for me in the last day. He looks really tired so I'm guessing he's been up for a while. But he doesn't show it, he just gives me a warm smile.

"Hey, what are friends for?" he asks rhetorically.

I sit down with a grin and check not only on Katniss but the center screen to see what's going on. Katniss is eating some bread and I give Finnick a questioning look.

"She wasn't able to cook her meat because of the rain; I hope you don't mind my going ahead and sending her food." Finnick informs me, but he still looks a bit regretful, like he doesn't know if he will get in trouble.

"No it's fine-I'm glad you did." I assure him, and the regret immediately leaves his expression when he sees the honesty in mine. I knew it would be a good thing to trust him, and I'm kind of glad that he was the one taking over as mentor while I was out instead of Haymitch. Haymitch might have had the audacity to not send her food just to save sponsor money…speaking of which.

"So did that take up all the sponsor money?" I ask a little worried. I know it was the right thing to send her the food, but she might desperately need something in the next few days and I'll hit myself for not having the money to send it.

Not even close-your girlfriend's got loads." Johanna answers with a smirk. I give her a questioning look and she gestures for me to look for myself on the tablet in my hands. My eyes literally go wide when I see how much she has. Damn, that video really did help her.

"Yeah, we had the same reaction." Finnick chuckles when he sees my face, "Told you it would work." He gives me a knowing grin, speaking about how the 'relationship' will get lots of sponsors. I guess between the video, my interview, and Katniss just being a popular tribute on her own equals Capitolites probably selling off their family jewels to sponsor her. It almost makes me laugh at how pissed they would be if they knew it wasn't real. But that reminds me of the real reason I did it, and my mood darkens immediately.

"Yeah, but will it work in the other way is what I'm worried about." I say with a strained voice. They both shrug with hopeful looks on their faces and we turn back to the screens without another word.

Thresh is once again in his field, and I'm sure the Gamemakers are just thrilled to death about that. Even with the pouring rain he seems to be thriving in that grain field. In fact, he looks like he's actually gained weight in the arena. In the Hunger Games? Oh right, he's from District 11-agriculture. Pretty fucking convenient. I bet he knows which of those grains is edible, and he can eat as much as he wants there unlike probably at home. He's not even really injured-has he killed anyone? He might have in the bloodbath, but certainly not since then. But his entertainment value comes from him fighting off those mutts that the Gamemakers keep sending after him, which pretty much got nothing on him. I trust Katniss's fighting skills, but if she gets anywhere too near him and not far away with a bow she's in trouble. Hopefully Cato will take him out-he's probably the only one left who would stand a chance at hand to hand combat against Thresh.

Around dusk the Gamemakers finally let up on the thunderstorm and it disappears almost as quickly as it appeared yesterday. Katniss takes advantage of the lack of rain and the time of day to build a small fire to cook her food, for which I'm glad. She has more than enough food now to last her the rest of the Games, however long that may be. Since it's down to four tributes, I can't see this lasting more than another two days at most. Perhaps the Gamemakers will even drive them all together tomorrow for a huge showdown. If that happens, it would be best for Katniss to be up high in a tree near the other tributes, where she could pick them off with her bow without being in immediate danger. But somehow I don't believe the Gamemakers would let that fly. No, she would have to get there on her own long before she was driven there. Since I can't send her notes or hints and I'm not certain when or even if that will happen, unfortunately all I can do is wait and see on that one.

As the anthem plays, Katniss is already ready for bed in her selected tree for the night, and the death toll is once again nill. I can tell that Katniss is still wary that she hasn't been entertaining enough, but not as much as before since there was a death yesterday. Of course she doesn't know how Quinn died, but a death is entertainment for the Capitolites no matter how the tribute died. She settles down for the night once the anthem is gone, and I go back to watching the center screen.

It's focused on Cato and Clove right now, and they are settled around a fire, debating quietly about who will take the first watch. They decide on Cato guarding and Clove slips into unconsciousness gripping one of her ever present knifes. About an hour after Clove drifted off, Cato is staring into the fire holding his spear at the ready in his lap, stroking it absentmindedly when a parachute drifts down near the fire. Perplexed, he leaves his spot on the ground and takes it back to his guard spot before opening it.

I don't give much thought to what he got, assuming that it's food or matches or something since they don't have many supplies. However, my unease grows and my curiosity is burning when I see Cato look into the box that the parachute dropped off without taking out whatever is in it. He first looks a bit confused, like he's trying to figure something out. Then as a lightbulb evidently goes off in his head, his face lights up like he just got the best present in the world and he has the most menacing, wicked grin I have ever seen plastered on his face.

He starts laughing darkly, and whips his hand on whatever it is in the box before dumbing the item in the box into the fire. As it drops into the fire, I see that it is what I think is a cupcake, which I believe is confirmed when Cato licks his hand that is white and blue, I think icing. What the fuck? I glance over at Enobaria as if that would give me a clue as to what the hell she sent him, but her wicked grin is almost a perfect match of her tribute's. I grow even more uneasy, because she doesn't seem surprised or even upset that her sponsor gift to him was strangely tossed into the fire. He's way too happy for being in the Hunger Games, even if he is a Career that might not even be sane. I have a really bad feeling about this.


	30. Predictions

"What the fuck?" a confused Johanna voices. Damn good question-that's exactly what I was going to say. I shrug in response and turn my eyes back to the screen, but I'm not actually looking at it because my mind is far away from it.

I'm really worried about whatever the hell Enobaria sent Cato too even though I know I should just let it go. I know Enobaria wouldn't tell me even if I had the nerve to ask her-she would more likely than not just laugh at my face. But I can't help myself from obsessing over it. Besides since I woke up around dinner time from my self-induced concussion/stupidity, I'm wide awake when everyone at 12's station with the exception of Johanna goes to bed. Which is quite a lot of people now-Katniss appears to be popular with the mentors too. There are at least five people watching from our station besides the usual ever since the video showed. I don't know all of them, but some regulars are Beetee from 3 and Seeder. Lots of mentors like her already, which will be good for her when she has to (hopefully-no she better) mentor from now on. I have nothing else to occupy my mind since nothing interesting happens in the Games all night so I can't help but think about another mentor's damn sponsor gift.

Why a cupcake? What did it have on it that made Cato act like he just got the best news ever? Why did he throw the cupcake into the fire? I mean, I know that he might be insane, but still; it's the Hunger Games. Not even an insane Career is stupid enough to destroy food, especially when they are low on food and supplies as it is. I mean, it obviously wasn't poisonous-Cato did lick the icing off his fingers and he's undesirably still alive. Plus if it was poisonous, he would have been smart to keep it and give it to Clove or something. It would be an easy way to kill her off. Although, maybe he wouldn't have. For starters, he promised Clove that she could watch him kill Katniss (which is not happening), but second…well he's just too sadistic of a person to allow anyone to have that easy of an out-even his District partner. Could it have been a note of some kind, written in icing? No, that's illegal in the Hunger Games-the Gamemakers check the sponsor gifts before sending them, and notes or hints aren't allowed. Or at least in writing. Sure, I sent Katniss messages with my gifts-the bedcord so she would know what to do and the primrose for a determination and mood booster, but those weren't notes-they were the convenient products of the two of us knowing exactly what the other is thinking a majority of the time. And somehow, I can't see Enobaria and Cato being that close. Although I do question the sanity of them both sometimes…Actually I think Enobaria is just more of a bitch than insane, so that's out too. Evil maybe? Evil people stick together? Wow I really need to stop overthinking this.

I shake my head to clear it and try to focus on the screens in front of me. When that works for only about an hour, since it really is boring at night, I go get some food in the food room. I come back and sit down in my chair and fidget. I repeat this pattern a few times during the night, sure that I look like a crazy person to anyone still awake. Well, Johanna probably already thinks I am crazy because she doesn't comment on my strange behavior-all I get is a constant smirk of amusement. I could blame it on the concussion, but I don't think concussions work that way. Well, I at least have never heard of one making someone impatient or overthink too much. Although I don't know much about medicine or healing, so maybe it is. Or maybe it's another side effect of too many Awake bars. Or the adrenaline pill. Or perhaps both together plus the concussion is causing this? Fuck I'm doing it again! Stop overthinking, Gale. Focus on the screens. Focus.

I don't think I've ever been happier for dawn to approach in the arena. Finally, something to focus on other than people sleeping! Around mid-morning, Katniss is already up and on the move but not really doing anything. The other tributes are up as well and are doing about as much as Katniss. The Gamemakers won't allow this for long. They will drive them together to fight or something. I have a feeling that this might be the last day of the Games. Sure there are four left instead of three, but what better ending could the Capitolites want that the four best tributes in a battle to the death all in one sitting? It would make for an epic ending. My first guess would be the Cornucopia, but I don't know for sure that it will be the last day, so I don't want to send a message to Katniss to get near there without being certain just to climb a tree for a better distance fight. The longer she stays away from those crazy Careers, the better-no matter how much of an advantage she would potentially get by being nearer.

I remember my last day in the Games. It was horrible as predicted. Like I expected, it was the day after the boy from District 4 died. I had set up snares by where I was currently camping in a tree, praying that if there was going to be a final fight anywhere and the Gamemakers drove me and the other Careers together, I would have a small advantage if it was here. Around noon I heard a cannon and just like that it was down to two. I was curious as to which Career girl I would face. Emerald and Audrey were by far the fiercest Careers-I knew that from the beginning. Honestly, I'm surprised that they wouldn't come together and team up on me, assuring in their minds that a Career would win regardless. Which lead me to believe that the one I would face would be Audrey. Of the two she was certainly the more ruthless, and I could totally see her being confident enough to face me alone as well as being selfish enough to want to have the claim of my death all to herself. She didn't ever seem like one who would like to share glory.

I had set up three snares around my immediate area, and to try to get the Gamemakers to lure whoever the other tribute was to me rather than the other way around, I stayed put by my tree. Hell just to show them I was ready to fight, I climbed down and assumed a relaxed pose leaning against the base of the tree. Thankfully it worked. I had made the correct assumption on which girl I would face, though I don't necessarily think that it was a good thing-she wouldn't make it too easy to win, that's for sure. By early afternoon, Audrey was there with a knife and two axes at the ready, and a menacing grin on her face. I took a deep breath and readied myself as well-do or die. This was it. Sadly I only had a knife as a weapon, but my advantage came with the snares and her not knowing about them. After all, I had made sure that no one would get that information back to someone alive.

It's almost comical how right I was about the Gamemakers not letting the tributes have much rest. Not five minutes after I thought that they would drive the tributes together, Thresh is once again being chased out of his grain field. Thank god it's not Katniss. But just to be safe, I send her half a dozen arrows since she's down to about five. I know she has lethal aim, but more arrows can't hurt. Besides, she has so much sponsor money that I don't know what else to do with it. When she gets them, she looks at them curiously as if she's trying to understand what message I'm sending her. Shrugging, she places the newly acquired arrows in her sheath and walks in the direction of the Cornucopia. That's my Catnip! Now hopefully she'll be careful and pick a tree where she can't be seen but she's still in range of shooting the others.

Thresh is chased all the way to the opening with the Cornucopia, much to Cato and Clove's delight. Their faces light up like they just got a wonderful present, and before Thresh can even focus on the tributes coming after him with weapons in hand, they are well within range of killing him. He realizes what's going on just as Clove's knife leaves her hand, and he just barely misses being hit in the chest. Instead, he takes a hit to his upper arm. There's barely a grimace on his face as he pulls the bloody knife out of his arm and he secures it in his belt look as he readies his larger weapon, the scythe. He blocks the spear that Cato throws with all his might, but that doesn't deter Cato. Instead of stopping, Cato keeps barreling on in the direction of his target while Clove throws yet another knife. This one hits Thresh in the arm again, but he doesn't bother to do anything with it except pull it out, because Cato is just five yards away.

Cato has his sword in hand and Thresh has his scythe ready. As soon as the two boys meet I am instantly absorbed in their fight. Thresh has the upper hand in weapons, but Cato is a trained Career so it appears that they are about even. They fight for a minute to no avail before Cato shoves Thresh hard which gives him just enough time to grab his spear which is about four feet from him on the ground and their fight continues.

"Gale." a concerned and slightly annoyed Finnick says. I have a feeling he's been calling me more than a few times and I haven't been paying attention.

"What?" I ask, irritated myself.

"Katniss." He replies, and points to her screen. I do and my heart drops. Shit she's being chased by mutts-and she is far too close to the Cornucopia for her safety. Fuck this means that she won't be able to climb a tree to pick off the other tributes-not when her only concern is to not get bitten by one of the wolf mutts that are currently chasing her. Shit shit shit. She's going to be pushed right into that fight. I was right-this probably will be the last day of the Games. Come on Katniss, you have to win this thing. Pull it off for me, for Prim. For everyone.

Katniss, as predicted, is chased right into the opening. She had dropped her backpack somewhere along the way so all she has is her bow and arrows and the knife that is in her belt. Well, she probably won't need the backpack again anyway-not when this is most likely the last day of the Games. She readies her bow with an arrow automatically, even while being chased. The mutts mysteriously disappear as soon as she is in sight of the three other tributes. Clove unfortunately is the first to see her and throws a knife in her direction instead of Thresh's. Shit I knew that she wouldn't just let Cato have all the 'fun.' And he's far too preoccupied with Thresh to notice. When the knife is whizzing through the air towards Katniss she lets her arrow fly and blocks the knife with her bow. Unfortunately the arrow hits Clove in the arm instead of her chest, as she moved at last second. Clove readies another knife without blinking an eye, but she is far too close to Katniss now for her safety. Katniss gets hit in the forehead while she was releasing her arrow, so the arrow misses Clove completely. Katniss pulls the knife out of her forehead-luckily the cut wasn't as deep as I thought. But unluckily, Clove lunges for her in her brief undertaking and pins Katniss to the ground.

"Katniss!" I scream in a panic, and I'm about to get out of my chair to throttle something when I feel arms holding me down to my chair by my arms and shoulders. I struggle but whoever is restraining me is damn strong. Or more than one person that is probably. I don't look to see who though-I'm still really tense but I quit struggling and my eyes are glued in horror to the screen in front of me.

Clove has her pinned to the ground, and she struggles to break free to no avail. Clove takes out an almost dainty but obviously deadly looking knife from her jacket and outlines Katniss's features with it, not cutting her quite yet.

"Aw, looks like fire girl isn't as tough as she thinks." Clove almost purrs. I'm breathing hard now-am I really going to watch my best friend and the girl I love die right in front of me? After all that we've been through? Just like that?

Katniss just stares her down, not giving Clove the satisfaction of seeing her fearful or scared. Clove just laughs at her bravery and continues to caress her face with the end of the knife. "Oooo tough girl. I think…I think we'll start with your mouth. Want to blow your fans one last kiss goodbye?"

It's at this point where Katniss spits blood in her face, not giving into Clove's taunting. Despite being horrified by the whole thing, I'm glad that she's going down fighting. Clove looks at her in disbelief and almost growls, "Oh, I'm going to enjoy killing you." And somehow, I know that this is going to be a slow painful death. I'm dreading it but I can't quit watching.

BOOM!

I don't even look to see who that was for, knowing that it was either Thresh or Cato. Soon I find out though, but not in the way I expected.

As soon as Clove makes the first indention near Katniss's lip with Katniss still staring her down with fire in her eyes, Clove is taken by surprise when she is lifted by her shoulders from her place pinning down Katniss. I can't believe someone is helping Katniss! She can still make it. But when I see who currently has a hold of Clove with the most insanely angry face I have ever seen, my eyes go wide.

"I fucking told you I was killing her!" Cato growls at his district partner, who now understandably looks frightened, despite being a Career.

"But, I…" Clove stutters out, but she doesn't get a chance to finish because Cato takes hold of her hair and in one clean swipe decapitates his district partner.

BOOM!

Alright it's official-Cato is certifiably insane. I mean really, who kills their district partner? Especially when it's down to three and it was obvious that he could have guaranteed that District 2 had a Victor this year. Katniss is extremely confused by this turn of events as well, but she has taken this small opportunity to scramble up from her place on the ground. But as she just reaches for her bow, Cato grabs hold of her as well and I stop breathing as he pins her against the side of the Cornucopia.

"Perfect-just what I wanted." Cato says with a crazy menacing grin and a maniac laugh. He really does look like he's evilly insane now, and Katniss is trying her best to not look scared but I can see the fear in her eyes.

"Why did you want to be the one?" Katniss spits at him in a voice much steadier than I thought she could use at this point.

His grin turns wicked as he answers her, his voice dripping with evil intent, "Revenge."

"Just because I got a higher training score than-" Katniss starts, bewildered, but Cato cuts her off.

"Oh no no no. Well that is part of it, but a very small part." He concedes, his expression now turning to one of knowing and delight. He is enjoying this way too much.

"Then what?" Katniss questions with wide eyes, trying not to pant in fright.

"This isn't revenge on you. Oh no, the entire reason I volunteered was my revenge on your dear mentor, Gale Hawthorne." He spits out and my face drains. Me? What the fuck? Shit, what does this crazy person think I did to him? Is he really going to say that I'm partially responsible for her death? I'm filled with dread and guilt and horror as the living nightmare before me continues to unfold.

"What did he ever do to you?" Katniss defends, just as bewildered as I and I'm sure everyone else is.

"Oh you silly fire girl, don't you get it?" Cato asks with glee, pushing her harder against the wall by her upper arms.

"No!"

"You see, Hawthone killed my girlfriend last year-it's only fair that I kill his!"


	31. The Victor

What the fuck? Audrey was Cato's girlfriend? Well I guess it makes a little sense-it's certainly a match made in ruthlessness. Or was in their case. But how was I supposed to know that Cato had some connection to her? It's the Hunger Games-kill or be killed. Surely even a Career understands that they can't win all the time. What surprises me the most though is that he's doing this to avenge her. I should have realized this seeing how much I love Katniss and would do anything to save her, but I didn't realize that Cato would be one of those people as well. Or avenge her in his case since she can't really be saved.

It makes me think back-should I have seen this coming? When I was on the Victory tour, I did take a look at Audrey's family because every person I killed personally that I would see the effect I had on their living relatives. I know it's kind of beating myself up in a way, but it did slightly help with the nightmares. In my mind, if I had the courage to look the families of the ones I killed, I could face the nightmares. It pained me to do it every time, but usually all I got were sad, pained eyes glaring back at me. After all, everyone knows that there has to be a winner, and only one comes out. That is a small forgiveness that most people are willing to give I've noticed. But Audrey's family was different-they weren't sad, they were seething. Of course I almost expected that-they were from District 2 and Audrey almost won. I stole her 'glory' in their eyes. But thinking hard on it, the only people I saw were her parents, an older sister, and a younger brother-no Cato. Which is strange because if the dead tribute had a boyfriend or girlfriend, they are always with the family on the Victory tour. So does that mean that Cato wasn't really Audrey's boyfriend? Or had he been planning this revenge since the day I became a Victor, and didn't sit with the family deliberately so that it would come as a surprise to me?

How could he have possibly known that Katniss would be a tribute in these Games? She volunteered for Prim, so it's not like it was rigged or anything even if he could do that. Aside from the fact that there was no guarantee that she would have volunteered for Prim. And how the fuck did he find out that she's my 'girlfriend' in the first place? According to Panem we were hiding our relationship, so he couldn't have possibly known about it beforehand. The cupcake? Damn it Enobaria, the fucking cupcake! But how? She can't send a note, that's illegal. But could it have been some kind of code? It would explain why it took him so long to figure it out. It doesn't explain why he threw a perfectly good cupcake in the fire, but I could just put that down to him being insane.

"But…but I don't-" Katniss starts evidently confused, but Cato cuts her off.

"Oh you don't understand huh? Well let me tell you." Cato smiles crazily, clearly over the moon that he is right where he wants to be. He pushes her harder against the wall, but he hasn't raised a weapon yet. What is he doing?

"Audrey and I had been dating for two years. We flipped a coin to see who would go in last year and who would go in this year so that we both could win. And she should have fucking won! She was right there! If not for that fucking snare! And because of that, because fucking Hawthorne stole her glory and the girl I loved, I set out to take my revenge on District 12. I planned on killing both of the District 12 tributes myself, a small revenge for Audrey but a good one. I planned to tell Hawthorne why I personally killed his tributes when I got out. And I kept part of my promise; I personally killed your pathetic district partner. I must admit it was fun, he was an entertaining kill. But you-you made this so much better! Just finding out that you were best friends made my revenge even sweeter! But to find out that you were actually his girlfriend? Oh yes, that was a sign to me that I was meant to kill you. Revenge is so sweet, don't you agree?" Cato goes on and on. Really, a monologue? I know I shouldn't be sarcastic because I really feel like I'm falling into a bottomless pit of dread and horror. I can't fucking believe that Cato set out revenge on me by killing my tributes. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's right-it sounds like he was meant to take revenge if you take the lie into account. But shit, he wasn't supposed to know about that. Damn you Enobaria! And she can ruin this entire fucking thing now, because she will (rightfully) deny it all. Shit shit shit.

"But I'm not his girlfriend!" Katniss protests, evidently confused but it comes out more like disbelief.

"Oh really? I know you tried to hide it-what did you know I was coming after you or something?" Cato replies with a wicked cackle.

"No, I'm-" Katniss begins again, but Cato once again cuts her off, too engrossed in his revenge to let her even have a word of protest.

"Oh you're still denying it?" Cato laughs, "Well no need for that-the whole fucking country knows!"

"What?" Katniss replies, evidently confused but now believing like I do that she is being pinned by a crazy person.

"Oh yeah, your little kiss on the roof the night before the Games? Yeah, everyone has seen that video." Cato informs with delight. He is seriously insane. But shit. Fuck Enobaria! How the fuck did she get a note past the Gamemakers?

"You fucking told him! You can't do that, it's illegal!" I hear Haymitch yell across the room to where I'm sure Enobaria has a smirk on her face. I wouldn't know because I can't take my eyes off the damn screen in front of me, realizing that these may very well be the last minutes that I see Katniss alive. Johanna was right though-Enobaria really is the Wicked Bitch of District Two-or Panem in general, I believe.

"Well he can't make deals with Gamemakers in charge of mutts either. So please, call the peacekeepers on me-I dare you." I hear Enobaria growl back. Shit how the fuck did she find out about that? I don't have any more time to contemplate though, because the nightmare on the screens is continuing.

Katniss's face has turned beet red, she is clearly embarrassed. I know it's because of the video, but hopefully everyone else will take it as she's embarrassed that we couldn't hide it any longer. Then I see her turn angry, and I don't know if it's at me, Cato, or the video. Probably all three. She doesn't know that I approved the video being shown, but she's probably still pissed that there is a video of us kissing in the first place because I was the idiot who kissed her. And it was so much worse than the distraction I thought it was at the time-now it may very well make her death slow and painful, and get me in a shit ton of trouble. After all I did lie about it, and she can easily ruin it right now.

"Huh?" is all Katniss gets out, almost speechless. Well at least speechless can't get us in too much trouble.

Cato laughs at her again. Seriously, he is enjoying this way too much. And why the hell hasn't he killed her yet? What the fuck is he waiting for? Did he just want her to know why he was killing her? Did he want me to know? "Oh so you didn't know that there were cameras?"

"No, but I-" Katniss begins again, clearly embarrassed again. Why should she have known there were cameras up there? It's not like I did either.

"Well guess what?" Cato growls, becoming serious again, and brings his sword up in one hand while still pinning Katniss to the wall with the other. Fuck. "It doesn't matter if you knew or not. What matters is that you are making my revenge too sweet. And you know what I'm going to do when I'm a Victor?"

He is cutting off most of her air, holding her by her throat at this point so all she can do is grimace and give a small shake of her head. He smiles menacingly, "After I kill you, I'm going to kill your boyfriend too."

Her eyes go wide in disbelief and fear, and despite the fact that she probably can't breathe too well, she looks angry. Cato sees this and laughs like a maniac, and yells, "You hear that Hawthorne? I'm coming for you next!"

Fuck. I really am dealing with a crazy person. And what makes it worse is that part of this I did to myself. To Katniss. If only I hadn't let that video be shown-no, if only I hadn't fucking kissed her in the first place, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Or maybe it would have. After all, I did win the Games. And even if I lost, I might have still not prevented at least part of this from happening. Cato did say that he was going into the Games this year anyway, and Katniss still would have volunteered for Prim even if I was dead. So yes, she still might be here, but I can't help but think that I made this so much worse for her. I don't even fucking care that Cato claims he's going to kill me-I might beat him to it just from the self-loathing I feel, especially if these Games end the way I think they are-with Cato as the Victor. I'm sorry Katniss. You have no fucking idea how sorry I am.

Katniss looks incredibly pissed by this and I can see the fire return in her eyes. Well, I guess it's good to know that she still doesn't want me dead-yet. Or maybe it's like I thought before, and she wants to kill me herself. No, even then she wouldn't kill me. But she may very well hate me, and that's almost worse than death. Cato turns back to looking at her and gives her an evil looking smile as if he's contemplating something. When he decides on whatever it was, he gives her a laugh, "Now, before you die, I want one more thing. Care to give it to me?" he begins. It's not like she has much of a choice in the matter, he's got her pinned to a damn wall at his mercy. He lets up on his hold on her throat for a moment, and she coughs and inhales hard, not acknowledging his statement other than the fire that still has not left her eyes.

"A kiss." Cato grins wickedly.

My face drains when he says that. Are you fucking serious? Isn't this bad enough already? Katniss's eyes go wide again as if we are on the same wavelength in thinking. He can't do this. But to my horror, that doesn't stop him from leaning in to kiss her. She pulls her lips into a thin line in disgust, the only thing she can probably think of to somewhat stop this from happening.

But as soon as his lips almost touch hers, he grunts in pain. Katniss takes this small opportunity that his short release on her has given her to escape his grasp, thank god. But why the hell did he grunt as if in pain? He looks down briefly and sees a knife embedded in his stomach. He just laughs as he pulls it out, incredulously more amused than anything. What the fuck? He just got stabbed and he's laughing? Thank god Katniss had that knife in her belt-in the horror that was unfolding in front of me I uncharacteristically forgot that she still had it. Of course there was no way she could have reached for it when he was pinning her by her arms, but when he moved to her throat that gave her the opportunity. I know it sounds ridiculous, especially given the situation, but I'm glad she stopped him from kissing her because it means that she wanted me to be the last to kiss her. Or maybe not-I'm the one crazy in love so maybe that's just my wishful thinking.

"Oh feisty! I like em that way." Cato exclaims as he pulls the knife out from his torso. Katniss is panting, running for her bow and arrows that are about twenty yards away. Cato is running for her again laughing insanely, but she luckily gets an arrow nocked before he gets too close. Come on Katniss, finish this! You may only have one chance!

Cato sees that he has let his revenge practically slip through his fingers-without her firmly in his grasp and her with a weapon now, he luckily can't waste the time to kill her slowly like I'm sure he intended to if for nothing more than to make me suffer watching it. But he growls and doesn't even seem fazed by the stab in his stomach as he readies his spear to throw, of which he picked up somewhere along the way of running towards Katniss. Come on Katniss, you can do this! Don't give him the chance to get close or throw that fucking spear!

Cato throws his spear with all his might directly at Katniss's chest as she releases her arrow, unfortunately her only one since she didn't have time to put on the sheath. Shit shit shit! Katniss ducks as soon as she releases and the spear misses her head by an inch on her way down. Thank god she's still alive! However, Cato is not so lucky. The arrow gets him awkwardly by his shoulder, as he moved at last second but he is still coming for her with his sword. Shit-can anything stop this guy?

Katniss runs away from her sheath probably because Cato was far too close for comfort and about thirty yards away she picks up an arrow that she fired at Clove earlier. She nocks it and once again releases the arrow; this one gets the target in the chest. It's hopefully enough to kill this insane beast of a crazy person.

Cato falls to the ground with a grunt, and Katniss is panting, still gripping her bow even though she doesn't have any arrows. They stay like that for a few minutes, Cato grimacing and bleeding out and Katniss standing there not talking and breathing hard. Yes! She's going to win this thing! Any moment now…

BOOM!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Victor of the Seventy Fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen of District 12!" Claudius announces to the arena to with a background of insanely loud cheering.

The Mentor Room is cheering as well and I am over the moon. Yes yes fuck yes! She won! Catnip won! She's coming home to me! To Prim! To everyone in District 12. I am so excited and relieved that I feel like nothing can bring me down at this point. People behind be are clapping me on the shoulder in congratulations and some of the female mentors are awing that the lovers of District 12 will be reunited at last and be together safely forever. Which brings my excitement down a notch but not by much. I knew that this would be risky, faking that we are dating especially since Cato got that illegal note and almost ruined it, but for now I can't seem to care. Oh sure, I'll be in trouble with Katniss when I see her soon for doing it, but I'm hoping once she understands why she will forgive me. She's not the most forgiving person and it's going to most likely be the most awkward conversation of my life, but I don't care. She's alive and she's a Victor-I can deal with whatever the consequences of my actions are for what I've done.

As Katniss boards the hovercraft that will bring her back to the Capitol, all the Victors besides Haymitch, Johanna and Finnick leaves. Well all of the others except for the District 2 mentors; the male mentor is trying mostly in vain to comfort an extremely pissed off Enobaria. I can understand that-she has had back to back tributes in the final two and lost both times to District 12 of all districts. And it probably wouldn't have happened if it wasn't me and Katniss because to be honest, we are probably were the two most capable people to be in the Hunger Games from our entire district in a very long time.

Finnick and Johanna congratulate me one more time with smiles on their faces (yes, Johanna Mason is actually smiling; where's a camera when you need one?) and I thank them vehemently for everything as they leave. Johanna is on her way back to District 7, but Finnick will still be here for a few days for appointments.

"Well, ya did good kid. It was rough but she made it." Haymitch says.

"Yeah she did." I answer with a smile that I'm pretty certain won't leave my face for a while.

"Good thing-this means I won't have to mentor anymore!" laughs Haymitch, to which I just roll my eyes and grin. Yeah, he may not need to mentor anymore, but he's still going to come to the Capitol-if not to see the other Victors than just because of all the booze he can drink.

I'm talking with Haymitch still when Enobaria comes up to me with her hand out to shake, a grimace on her face. What the fuck? I glance at Haymitch to see if he knows what this is about.

"Tradition for second place to congratulate the Victor." He explains. Oh. I cautiously shake Enobaria's hand as Haymitch leaves.

"Congratulations." She mutters, evidently not happy.

"Thanks." I say, and she turns to walk away.

"Wait!" I stop her, and she turns around confused. I can't believe that I'm stopping her from leaving either, but I'm too damn curious about something. I have to know.

"The note on the cupcake-how'd you get it past the Gamemakers? I thought notes were illegal." I ask, my curiousity evident. She looks taken aback that I'm asking but she answers in an almost normal tone.

"I didn't think it would actually get sent, though I bought it anyway as a sponsor gift." she explains.

"Really?" I ask, confused. Alright, I get that she would try to send it in anger. But that doesn't explain how it actually got to Cato. Who cleared it?

"Yeah, it got cleared. Trust me, I was just as surprised as you." Enobaria says, and my eyebrows go up in shock.

"Then who cleared it?" I question. Maybe the Head Gamemaker just for a more interesting show?

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She states with a shrug.

"Try me." I declare, almost desperate now.

"President Snow."


	32. Puppets

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion at Enobaria's confession and she shrugs again and walks away. Good thing I didn't show her my true emotions about that name, because on the inside I'm exploding with worry and disbelief. What the fuck? Snow allowed that damn note? There's only one reason I can think of that he would approve the cupcake-he doesn't buy the relationship thing.

Oh sure, he might buy that I actually love her-I think that's pretty fucking obvious that I really do. But I'm guessing that he caught on to our fabricating Katniss and I being in a relationship. Shit. So he probably approved the cupcake to what? Give Cato motivation to kill her? Or was it simply to test Katniss to see if we really are in a relationship or not?

I think back to the end of the Games when Cato confessed everything that he wasn't supposed to know to Katniss. Was it good enough? Oh sure, she was denying it, but she could just say that she was trying to hide it still and thought Cato was bluffing that he knew. After all, I'm pretty sure the guy was insane, and he could have very well been making that up just to make his revenge sweeter in his mind to her. But he did cut her off enough that she basically couldn't complete a sentence, meaning she couldn't fully deny anything. Plus she didn't want him to kiss her and she looked pissed that he wanted to kill me. All that could possibly be put down to her disgust in him and us just being friends, but I'm really concerned if Snow bought that it was her simply denying it just because she wanted to hide our 'relationship.' And I really really hope he does buy it, but since it's Snow I'm not so optimistic.

The majority of my previous excitement and relief has disappeared now unfortunately. Damn Enobaria for taking that away! No, I can't really blame her; in this case at least, she was simply the messenger. She doesn't suspect that the relationship is fake; I could tell because she had no idea why Snow cleared the cupcake. For all she knows, he either wanted Cato to win or just wanted a more exciting Games. And I wouldn't put that last one past him because he seems like the type of guy to want to control everything to his own pleasure, much like a puppet master. After all, aren't tributes little more than entertainment? Aren't the Victors little more than puppets that have to bend to Snow's will? Which brings me to another point. Did Snow figure out that the reason we created the fake relationship in the first place was to get Katniss (and hopefully me) out of appointments? He certainly wouldn't like one of his puppets cutting the strings and breaking free, pulling one over on him essentially. Which is what I probably am in his eyes. Well guess what? I didn't ask to be a fucking puppet, nor do I want to be.

I realize that I've been down here far too long by myself, so I shake my head and try to put on the smile I had on my face just ten minutes ago as I go to the elevator and up to the 12th floor to await Katniss's return. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I have to talk to Haymitch. He may not be my favorite person in the world, but he knows the Capitol and he knows Snow-he can help me with this, as grudgingly as it is for me to admit it. Perhaps he can even tell me what he thinks this implies and how Katniss can play it, if she chooses to go along with it in the first place.

When I get up there, Haymitch, Jullus, and Effie are waiting for me. Effie literally squeals in delight when she sees me.

"Oh Gale isn't it wonderful! I knew that District 12 was the best! Now everyone is jealous that I have two Victors in a row. And lovers at that!" she exclaims, clapping her hands giddily. Effie was kept in the dark on the whole relationship not being real thing-Haymitch, Jullus, and I felt that it wasn't necessary for her to know. After all, all Effie really cares about is the attention she's getting and being able to go to all the parties and such that comes with being the escort of a Victor. Plus she's not the most secretive person; if we had told her, she could have been sworn to secrecy but somehow I don't think that would stop the truth from slipping out somehow. Not on purpose probably, but in general Capitolites aren't too good at keeping things secret.

"Yes, it is wonderful." I smile at her, but I can tell that Haymitch knows something is off by the way my eyes probably aren't lit up with joy or relief anymore-I'm certain he can see the worry in them that Effie can't.

"Oh I can't wait! Well, I'm off to plan for the Victory tour!" she smiles happily and practically skips to the elevator in her ridiculous high heels. I watch her go and don't speak again until the elevator doors close so I'm certain that Effie can't hear me.

"What's wrong kid?" Haymitch asks immediately when the doors close, obviously waiting for that moment like I was.

I frown at him, "Snow cleared the cupcake." I try to keep my voice nonchalant because I'm sure there are cameras or bugs in here. I know anything we say will have to be very cryptic in here so I'm going about this carefully.

"Oh?" Haymitch replies in an uncaring tone, but his eyes tell me that he's groaning on the inside and his crazy mind is gearing up to pull some plan out of his ass to fix this. He knows very well why Snow would allow that note on the cupcake to be sent to Cato like I do, but he's not going to say it out loud-not here anyway. If the cameras weren't too focused on us before, even here, you can bet your ass that they are now. If not only because we have the Victor from this floor but because Snow himself might have told someone to watch us.

I nod and none of us say anything for a minute, the pregnant silence making me antsy. I feel like I have to spill the beans even more or get advice or something but I know that we can't do it here, and that just pisses me off even more.

"You look a bit antsy waiting for Katniss to return. Would you like to go up to the roof for some fresh air? It might help." offers Jullus, and I accept gratefully. Good, the wind is loud enough up there that we can talk in a whisper without being heard. Sure there are cameras up there (I evidently learned that the hard way) but at least we can talk truthfully. It's better than this awful silence anyway. He and Haymitch follow me up to the roof and once we are certain that the wind is loud enough, Haymitch begins in a low voice.

"You know what that means kid." Haymitch says.

"Yeah, nothing good." I reply with a grimace, "Does this mean he doesn't buy it? I'm guessing that it didn't stop the appointments from happening."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Jullus states, and I look at him hopefully.

"How so?" I ask, confused.

"Well you see, I haven't had any appointments for you yet and I should have received them already." he explains.

"Really? So do you think she still might be safe?" I ask, immediately perking up. This is good, but I still don't trust Snow to not make sure the appointments still go on for either of us.

"Yes I do. All of Panem believes it; especially the Capitolites and they're the ones who matter in this case. And if they don't ask for appointments-" Jullus relpies, but I cut him off to finish his sentence, excited by this news.

"Then there aren't any to go on." I give a small smile, my hope returning. Oh sure, Snow might not believe it, but if there isn't anyone to have appointments with, then it's not like he can force them to. Well, he probably could but I doubt he would.

"Exactly." Jullus smiles at me confidently.

"So I'll just have to talk to her, make her see that playing along with it might be the only way to guarantee that she doesn't go on them?" I ask. That's going to be an awkward conversation-probably the first awkward talk we will have since the year we met. Namely because I will not only have to fess up to going on appointments all year and lying to her about them, but the fact that I really love her. And that I approved the video of us being shown even though I didn't want to. Oh yeah, and that she's going to have to love me back for the country or she might have to go on them as well and if she doesn't than we will both be in a shit ton of trouble. Yeah, nothing awkward about that.

"Yes, it should work." Jullus declares. I give a sigh of relief, but Haymitch being Haymitch quickly takes that relief away.

"Yeah there's just one problem with that." he states, and I glare at him.

"What?" I question, irritated.

"The Gamemakers just called a few minutes ago and they want your reunion to be live on television at the recap. Which means you can't see her before then." Haymitch explains and my expression darkens. What the fuck? I mean I get it; it's all a big fucking show, but still. They aren't going to allow me to see her? After her being in the Games and all the stress I've gone through?

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do? She needs to know the truth! I have to see her before then." I whisper angrily.

"Relax kid, I'll tell her everything." he assures me. It's better than nothing, but not by much.

"She should hear it from me." I insist.

"I know she should, but there's nothing I can do about that. Sorry kid." Haymitch shrugs, and he actually does appear to be sorry so I try to make my anger at him subside.

"Well, we could try something." Jullus offers, and I stare at him questioningly, "My friend in the Security Room, she can turn off the cameras. She could probably only give you about five minutes though, and it would have to be in the dead of night so there are less people around."

"Yes, please. It's better than nothing." I gratefully agree. I knew there was a reason I liked this guy.

"Well okay then kid. I'll still have to explain it to her because it will take longer than five minutes, but I'll be sure to do it before you see her." Haymitch says. I sigh but nod in agreement. At least I'll get to see her for a few minutes; it's better than nothing.

The three of us go back down to our floor and eat lunch while we are waiting for word on when Katniss has returned. I'm actually pretty hungry, but I mostly just pick at my food, too worried and pissed off still to eat. About half an hour later, the phone rings and Haymitch answers it. He has a short conversation with whoever is on the other end of the line and comes back to the table, taking a swig of his drink before telling us who it was.

"The Gamemakers just called. Sweetheart is back, but she's in surgery right now." he explains. I tense up, but then relax once I realize what this implies. Oh good, her ear will be fixed. And the burns and cuts that she acquired will be erased as well.

"Oh right. How long will that take?" I ask.

"Few hours at least. Even when she gets out she will probably be asleep for a few days." Haymitch answers. Well that makes sense on the sleeping part. I'm not sure if the doctors here induce the sleep for that long themselves or if it is just from pure exhaustion, but I'm guessing a combination of the two. After all, I'm guessing sleep is the best thing for a body after surgery, and after days of sleeping in a tree even a hospital bed feels pretty damn soft.

There is always a few days in between the last day of the Games and the recap of them, mostly because the Capitol needs time to put the usually broken and torn up Victor back together again. Not to mention getting food in their systems since a majority come back with their ribs clearly visible- it is the Hunger Games after all. Last year I would guess that I lost at least fifteen pounds if not more in my Games, and that includes the extra weight I gained gorging in the Capitol beforehand and a relatively short Games; I can't imagine what the Victors of the longer Games lose.

"Alright." I sigh. This means that I won't be able to talk to Katniss for at least two days if not more most likely.

"Hey kid, you'll see her soon enough." Haymitch offers as some form of comfort. Haymitch is comforting me? "Your girlfriend is fine. You can wait a few more days." He continues. Ah, all for the cameras and the bugs that we are both positive are in this room. Well, at least that makes more sense than Haymitch being comforting on his own free will. Thank god, it was kind of freaking me out because it would be so uncharacteristic of him to say it so softly.

"I guess. It's going to be forever until the recap." I sigh, playing along. He nods with a wink at my playing along and goes back to focusing on his drink.

Since I'm done eating and Haymitch evidently is not going to be any help distracting me during my wait for more news on Katniss, I turn on the television of all things. Damn, I must be really desperate if I'm doing that at all, much less in the Capitol of all places.

The only thing on is the recap of the end of the Games that ended this morning and some interviewers that aren't Ceaser talking to some Capitolites about their opinions on the Games and the 'lovers of District 12' getting to be reunited. Most people appear to love how dramatic the end of the Games was despite the illegal note that was given to Cato. Perhaps the Capitolites don't know that notes are illegal? I mean, I certainly didn't until I became a mentor. I just didn't think about how helpful a note or something would be until that point, even though I should have. I mean come on; you could totally just send a note to a tribute that another tribute was close to them and send them in the opposite direction of the person coming to kill them. The Games would basically never end that way, but still. You would have thought that people would think about that. And everyone is estatic about the relationship thing, which only fuels my belief that I did in fact make the Capitolites want me to be with Katniss more than they would want to be with me-or her for that matter. Perhaps Jullus was right in his assumption that Snow couldn't do much if no one wanted an appointment after all.

Sometime a few hours later, I'm still watching the television for any sign that someone doesn't buy the relationship thing. Luckily I don't find anyone who suspects the truth in that time. But I'm still watching for any sign or hint that Snow might not. Oh sure, he wouldn't come on to a show himself and outright say that or anything, but if someone mentioned him or something I would be worried. Thankfully or not, no one mentions him or anything. I hope this means that he buys it.

The phone rings again and since Haymitch is once again the closest, he answers it. I'm hoping this means that Katniss is out of surgerty, but from Haymitch's reaction I doubt it. He frowns and almost growls something under his breath before slamming the phone down.

"What's wrong?" I ask, worried now that Haymitch looks extremely annoyed and pissed.

"Seems they want to pretty up sweetheart with plastic surgery." he grimaces, evidently annoyed.

"What the fuck? She's fine just the way she is. They can't do that to her!" I exclaim, annoyed and pissed myself now. Victors may be little more than puppets, but like hell I will allow them to change her in any way, shape or form. No fucking way.

"Then come on." Haymitch almost growls and stalks off towards the elevator. He pushes the button as soon as I get beside him and I follow him into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I question.

"We're going to have a little 'talk' with some idiot Gamemakers who think they can pretty anyone they want up." He explains.

I grin and crack my knuckles unconsciously. Well I'm ready for a fight. Oh sure I'll only be using words, but you can be damn sure that they will be fighting words. Watch this puppet break free and get what he wants.


	33. All For the Show

On our way to our smackdown (or at least in my point of view it is) with the Gamemakers, I think of why on earth they would want to change Katniss. Is it because they don't think she's pretty enough? I think she's the most beautiful girl in all of Panem although I admit I might be a little biased. But even then, she isn't short of admirers in District 12-in fact, even though the girl was completely oblivious to the opposite sex and never wanted a relationship or anything, quite a few boys at school liked her. And it wasn't just boys from Seam either-evidently Peeta liked her, and I know of at least three or four more boys from town that admire her as well. She's just got something about her that you can't help but love her. But why would the Gamemakers want to physically change her? Just because she's basically owned by the Capitol now doesn't mean that they should make her look like a Capitolite.

But what do they specifically want to change about her? Fuck, I hope they don't want to like paint her blue or give her flamed cheeks or something. Just my prep team was freaky enough to make me think that Capitolites don't really know what real beauty is. And I really don't think they do. They are so fake, changing themselves constantly and dying themselves bright colors that they wouldn't know what natural beauty was if it smacked them in their painted faces. Is that why they want to change Katniss? Because they don't see her beauty, and they want to truly make her the Girl on Fire? Shit I hope not. That's going to be a lot harder to fight, because I can't think of a good alternative for that. And I really don't think these fucking idiots will see sense, so I have a feeling an alternative is the only way I'm going to get them to not have them do plastic surgery on her.

As we storm the entrance where the Gamemakers are convened, Haymitch and I have matching determined and pissed expressions on our faces. The Gamemakers immediately stop whatever they were doing and look at us in confusion. Well, all except one who is grimacing with a knowing look on his face, so I'm assuming he's the one that Haymitch talked to on the phone.

"To what do we have the pleasure of the audience of the newest Victor's mentors?" One of the Gamemakers asks, I think the Head Gamemaker as his purple robe has some extra fur on the lining that the others do not have.

"I assure you it is not a pleasure, Seneca." Haymitch almost growls. Damn. Haymitch versus the Head Gamemaker? I may not know Seneca Crane very well, but my money is on Haymitch-especially a pissed off Haymitch.

"Then what is your displeasure Mr. Abernathy?" Seneca questions, evidently confused. But he doesn't seem too phased that Haymitch and I are almost seething-yet.

"My 'displeasure' is that you think that you can pretty up my Victor! She's not a fucking doll!" Haymitch yells. The Gamemakers around the room look surprised by our anger and start murmuring to each other nervously, but the only thing that Seneca does is raise his eyebrows a little at the argument. Dang, this guy is good. Well, I guess if you get to be the Head Gamemaker you can't lose you cool very much and you have to stay under control under stressful situations. Maybe I'm putting my money on the wrong person? No, I'm still betting on Haymitch-after all, I'm not going to bet against someone on my side.

"Ah this is about the implants I'm assuming." Seneca replies coolly.

"Implants?" I ask angrily. I don't know what those are, but it doesn't sound good.

"Yes, the plastic surgery are breast implants and perhaps a few flame tattoos on her arms." He replies to me.

"And what makes you think she needs any of that?" I seethe. I know I'm playing with fire here, what with me arguing with some very powerful people-especially since I'm probably already knee-high in shit with the President, but I don't care.

"Honestly Mr. Hawthorne, I'm surprised you do not want this. It will only make her prettier and more popular." He raises his eyebrows in what looks like genuine surprise but I can tell he's a little mad that I care. Well fuck him.

"I don't care about that! What I care about is that you are trying to change my girlfriend and I think she's perfect just the way she is." I almost yell back. Sure she's not my girlfriend really, but they don't know that and it gets the point across a lot better than saying that she's just my best friend anyway. Now I can play it off as mostly selfishness than just outright rebelling. Selfishniss will be bad too in their minds but at least that's forgivable; rebelling is somehow not I imagine.

"Mr. Hawthorne, with all due respect we are aware that you don't want your girlfriend to change. However, as a Victor she must play her part. It's all part of the show." Seneca says, and I think he almost looks remorseful that he must say this. It's…all part of the show? Really? That's what they're going with. How the fuck is changing her part of the show?

"The show? What the hell does that have to do with it?" Haymitch questions. Well guess I'm on the same wavelength of thinking as the drunk. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

"Mr. Abernathy, everything we do is for the show. Including bending the rules." Seneca replies to him.

"Bending what rules?" Haymitch asks. Seriously, is the plastic surgery bending the rules? Are they even allowed to do that? Fuck I hope not because then I can counter that they need to follow their own goddamn rules. Wow, never thought I'd tell people to not behave illegally-talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

"The cupcake of course. The one that Cato received with a note on it with information from the outside?" he replies, his expression indicating that he's surprised that we didn't know what he was referring to.

"That was you?" I ask, astonished.

"Of course. Who else would have cleared that gift, Mr. Hawthorne?" he replies, almost looking at me like I'm dumb. But I thought…damn Enobaria, she fucking lied to me! She probably just told me that it was Snow so I would freak out because she was pissed that Katniss won! She just wanted me to get off my high of excitement and relief and be worried for nothing! Fucking Wicked Bitch of Panem!

"I don't know." I say almost sheepishly, trying to hide my real anger at Enobaria from him.

"So it's all for the show?" Haymitch asks quizzically.

"Yes of course." Seneca clarifies, confused as to why he's asking such a dumb question. I would too if I didn't know that look. Fuck yes Haymitch has thought of some brilliant plan!

"So it wouldn't be necessary to change her permanently then." Haymitch replies.

"How so? I believe that it is." one of the other Gamemakers, a woman with purple dotted hair asked.

"Couldn't there be a way to have the changes just for when she's on camera?" Haymitch questions.

"I don't see what you mean Mr. Abernathy. Surgery is by far the easiest way to make sure that she looks perfect for the show." Seneca says warily.

"Well…there might be a way." The woman that questioned Haymitch before offers.

"What?" I ask, ready to pounce on any idea that doesn't involve implants or god knows what else they would do to my Catnip.

"Padding in her dresses. We could adjust the size of the padding accordingly as she gains her previous weight back and it wouldn't be permanent. And we could paint on the flames with makeup." She states. Alright, I've decided that I love this woman. I'm still not too thrilled that they want to change her at all, but at least it's not permanent-I'm willing to compromise.

"That sounds like a much better plan." I agree eagerly with the woman and she rewards me with a smile.

"Well, we would have to have a vote." Seneca claims, but I can tell that he's not so sure with the idea. What, does he really think he's going to get in trouble for not allowing the surgery? It's not like anyone will know the difference. He starts shoving us out the door so that they can vote. But before I follow Haymitch out, I turn around to address them.

"Please-I just want her back just the way she is." I almost plead. Pathetic I know, but it just might work.

"We'll keep that in mind." A man I don't recognize states with a warm smile and the door shuts on me.

Haymitch and I decide to wait right out in the waiting room for their decision. We sit down on the plush red chairs that are in there, but after about five minutes of fidgeting nervously I get up and pace the room.

What if it doesn't work? What will I say to Katniss if she wakes up with implants and tattoos? Oops sorry I tried but I failed? No, I can't do that-she'll still be mad at me. Actually she's probably pissed at me anyway for the whole kiss/video/oh yeah we have to fake that we're dating thing. Just adding one more thing to the pile is not going to help me at all. Thank god that the Snow clearing the cupcake wasn't real-that's a little relief anyway. It means that he still might buy the whole relationship thing. It would also explain why I have yet to hear from him on it. So maybe he does buy it? Does that mean that we're in the clear? No, Katniss is still going to have to pull it off in her interviews and the recap or we could be fucked still. Of course that involves her actually knowing about the appointments and the fake relationship thing and deciding to go along with it…

"Sit down kid. You're makin me dizzy watchin you." Haymitch orders almost annoyed. I look over at him and see him with an half empty bottle of wine and another empty bottle on the table next to him. Seems like he's stressed-or he just actually drinks that much on a normal basis and I haven't really payed attention to just how much he drinks and how fast before.

"You're drunk; a bug flying would make you dizzy." I point out, but I do stop pacing and stand in front of him.

He laughs at that and answers me, "That doesn't bother me kid; I'm always drunk. You just need to calm the fuck down."

I roll my eyes at him and begin pacing again, to which he rolls his own eyes and goes back to drinking when he sees that I'm evidently going to ignore his advice. What the fuck is taking them so long? How long does it take to vote yes or no? It's been like twenty minutes!

After another ten minutes of pacing the door to their meeting room finally opens. The man that gave me a warm smile before I left smiles weakly as he sees us. Oh shit this must be bad.

"Well it was a close vote, but we decided to take into account your feelings on the matter Mr. Hawthorne. After all, she is your girlfriend and you should have a say." He says to me.

"So…no surgery?" I ask hopefully.

He gives a light chuckle, "No surgery."

I smile in relief and he walks away. Yes! I can't believe I won that one. Haymitch almost smiles too, but I can tell he's satisfied with the conclusion as well. We go up to our floor of the Training Room, and even though it's almost dinner time and I'm hungry, the exhaustion wins out and I go straight to bed.

The next two days pass in almost a blur, mostly just prep work for the recap and Katniss's final interview and visiting Finnick when he's not on appointments. Appointments I haven't been on since apparently there aren't any for me to go on according to Jullus. I can't believe that worked. I mean, I was hoping it would but I wasn't counting on it. I was just focusing on getting Katniss out of them and almost believing that I would still have to go on them myself. Well, I suppose that Snow could still have that talk with her since she apparently just woke up today for the first time, two full days after the Games ended, but this no appointments for me thing is making me oddly optimistic about it.

Since I have nothing else to do, I keep watching the reporters and reviews of the Hunger Games. I know that I'm sort of obsessing over it, but I can't help it. Although everyone clearly buys the story I'm still looking for any sign or clue that someone doesn't. I realize I'm just being pessimistic but I could put it down to I'm trying to think about something else other than Katniss finding out the truth about everything.

Around dinner time today Haymitch goes to Katniss's room to speak to her. He's going to tell her everything; the strategy, the appointments, my appointments, the video, how our families played along even though they don't know the reason. I'm still uneasy that it's not coming from me, but I know that it's better than nothing for Haymitch to tell her. It still pisses me off that they won't allow me to see her because they want our reunion live. All for the show they keep telling me. Well all for the show my ass; life isn't a show, it's real. And what's real is that I have no fucking clue how the girl I know better than myself sometimes is taking the news, and that pisses me off more than anything. Not only that I'm not there, but that I can't guess how she's reacting-a first for me in a long time when it comes to Katniss.

Luckily Jullus did talk to his friend and I do have five minutes of unrecorded, off the record time with her. At 3:15 AM, but under the circumstances I'm not complaining. If five minutes in the middle of the night is all I can have until the recap tomorrow with her, then I'll gladly take it. I don't know if Haymitch is warning her that I'm coming or not, but I would guess not since he probably is on some sort of camera. Plus it will be better for all of us if we keep this meeting as secretive as possible, since I, Jullus, and his friend could be in deep shit if anyone else finds out. Alright, I might not get in too much trouble because they could just write it off as a crazy with love thing that I can't spend another minute without her, but the other two would get in serious trouble for helping me. And honestly, I like Jullus too much to want to get him in trouble; he's already gone through many hoops for me, and I'm eternally grateful for that. And even if I've never met his friend, she's been more than helpful as well so I don't want to hurt her either.

When Haymitch comes back, he finds me waiting for him. He just shakes his head and tells me to get some rest before I see her. I wonder why he isn't telling me how she reacted to the news. Does that mean she's really pissed at me? That she might not even want to see me? God I hope not. I mean I sort of expected it but it would still be bad. But I've got to suck it up and be a man and go see her anyway. With that in mind, I go to bed and set my alarm for three o'clock.

At 3:14 AM I'm standing just outside of Katniss's door, trying to work up the courage to turn the knob and go face her. I know it sounds ridiculous that I'm afraid of her, but it's true. Not so much her, but what will be left of us after I walk into that room. I know it's going to be bad, and I'm not looking forward to it. The clock turns to 3:15 and I know I'm wasting precious time, so I close my eyes and boldly turn the knob to face the inferno.


	34. Broken

As I enter the room I quietly shut the door and soon I see that this might have been a mistake-it's pitch black in here. I let my eyes adjust to the room and once they do I see a figure on the hospital bed. Luckily she's not wired up (I can tell from what little light is coming from the window behind her) but she's still in a hospital gown I think. I take a deep breath and silently creep over to the bed and just stand at the side of it by her head for a few seconds.

I know I'm wasting my already very little time, but I can't help it. Wow I can't believe I'm scared of her. Well yes I can, but what I'm more scared of is what she's going to do when she wakes up. I'm sure there will be some yelling and she'll probably hit me or something as well. Plus she's had hours to let the brew of her anger boil since Haymitch was here and I know that's going to make it worse. That's okay though because I probably deserve it. What I'm really worried about is how the hell I'm going to convince her in like four minutes that she has to go along with the fake dating thing. For a girl who never wanted marriage, kids, or a relationship of any kind, I know for a fact that she's going to hate being forced into one even if it's not real. Sure it might be me that it's with, but that doesn't make it much better in her mind I'm guessing. Plus she's probably already pissed that I lied to her all year about the appointments on top of it.

Suck it up Gale-now or never, the clock is ticking. With a quiet sigh, I lower myself on to the side of the bed and study her sleeping face. "Catnip." I whisper, gently shaking her shoulder.

Her eyes instantly open and she looks at me strangely for a moment before the haze of just waking up disappears and she realizes what's going on. She sits up immediately and stares at me for a moment, as if she's trying to decide if she's dreaming or not.

"Gale?" she whispers almost with relief. And then she throws her arms around me and buries her face in my chest. Well that is most definitely not what I expected-in fact, this reaction wasn't even on my radar because I was so sure that she would be pissed or at the very least angry. Not hugging me surely. But what does this mean? Does this mean she forgives me? Does this mean that she may love me back?

Almost as quickly as she hugged me she pulls out of it and I feel her hand slap me hard on the cheek-oh yeah, that's more what I expected. Guess she remembered after her initial relief that she's supposed to be pissed at me.

"I…deserved that." I admit, rubbing my stinging cheek which I'm positive is turning red. I knew she was strong but damn, I didn't think she could hit that hard.

"What the hell Gale?" she seethes in a low voice, her expression quite easily read as pissed off and confused. Yeah, that's the girl I was expecting to face.

"I'm sorry. Really. But I promised I'd make you safe any means necessary so I had to." I defend, even though I know that it's not going to help much; she's not a very forgiving person, even when it was mostly out of love that I did everything she's mad about.

"You had to what? Lie to me? Make up things? Without even asking me first?" she bites back in a quick succession of questions, her eyes fiercely glaring at me and she's almost barring her teeth. Despite the obvious anger I can also tell she's hurt by this. Well, I guess that's understandable.

"How was I supposed to ask you?" I point out first. Yeah let me just ask you about a strategy to hopefully get you out of appointments that people outside the Capitol don't know about with a note that's illegal to send. Oh and did I mention that you would be on camera all day everyday and you were in the fucking Hunger Games? Come on Katniss, be serious about that one.

"Okay fine you couldn't have asked me." she concedes easily to my evident surprise, "But you shouldn't have lied to me! And why the hell would you do those…things anyway?"

"Katniss…I…" I try to get out, but it ends up being broken and I can't bring myself to finish the sentence. I close my eyes and drop my head, mad at myself. I know I shouldn't have lied to her all that time. I knew that she might be pissed originally if I told her about the appointments a year ago like I should have, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Hell, she probably would have even understood why I did them because it was to protect my family. She and I have the exact same feelings about putting our families first. It's part of the reason I wanted to even avoid the possibility of Snow telling her to do them because she would agree right away like I did no matter how horrible it was. So what is it? Why didn't I tell her all that time?

Then I realize what it was-I was ashamed. If I had told her, it would mean that I was showing her how weak I was, how I was allowed the Capitol of all things to control me. That I was some sort of puppet after all. It ashamed me that there was absolutely nothing at all that I could do to stop them. I was horrified with myself for not even trying to think of a way out of it, just going along with the motions of something I despised so much. I hated myself for having to do them, I hated myself for being a good little slave. I was the rebel, the one who broke the rules. And to tell Katniss about something that I hated myself for would just be the cherry on top of the humiliation.

"Gale, why didn't you tell me about the appointments or do them in the first place?" she asks again, but softer this time with most of the anger no longer evident in her tone. I don't think she realized how incredibly hard this all is for me. I might not have my eyes open, but even without sight I can tell that she's surprised by my almost breaking down by just thinking about this. I think she's realizing for the first time just how broken I am because I'm letting down all the carefully built walls that hid it for a year.

The Games change you; I had heard that before I was a tribute and I watched Victors year after year on the television change before my eyes from innocent (or mostly innocent) children into murderers. And in the interviews after the Games, in the recaps, you could see the change in them; even the Careers. In the recap when the Victors physically see themselves kill or see others killed you can see it in their eyes, in their very mannerisms. Most are in shock, but you can tell that many are also remorseful. Some you can tell hate themselves but try hard not to show it. They hate the person they have become, either just a shell of their former selves or a completely new person that they don't recognize. So I should have known that would happen to me as well when I was a tribute, but I was so focused on just staying alive that I forgot. And then came the blow of what happens to popular Victors. And then having to actually go through with it just to save those you love by doing something you shouldn't have to do in the first place. Being a sex slave. Putting on a mask as to not show the people buying you to abuse you how much you despise them. Taking whatever they do to you with a smile, whether it be cuddling with someone with spikes on their hair that prick you or being 'playfully' whipped until your skin is the same color as a lobster. It wears on you, breaks you down so you are beaten into shape and Snow can make you do whatever he chooses no matter how horrible.

And then you see what Victors have to deal with and how they deal with the self-loathing, the nightmares, the hatred from the families of those killed towards you. Some drink themselves into oblivion like Haymitch or Chaff. Or they drug themselves until they are shriveled and barely human until they die of their nothingness like some of the Victors in District 6, where morphling is produced and easily acquired for someone with money. Or they try to tell themselves that they are the ruthless killers they have become and throw themselves into mentoring ruthless people like themselves like most Career Victors. We forget who we were before the Games-we become broken people, slaves of the Capitol and Snow and the fucking Games that we were 'lucky' enough to survive. I imagine that most Victors hide from the world how broken they are, but at some point everyone comes crashing down to reality much like I am now. I can feel tears brimming in my closed eyes, my body weak and limp, my head hanging low in my total humiliation. I'm the broken rebel, completely at the mercy of the girl I love that is pissed off at me and I can't even bring myself to fight for my side.

I feel a tentative warm hand on my still barely stinging cheek, a thumb rubbing under my eye where I'm certain she feels the wetness of my tears that are fighting to break free. "Gale." she whispers again, but this time it's with worry and concern. I can tell that she sees how broken I am, she's talking to me like a child. She almost seems scared to see me so weak. Well I can fathom that-she knows me better than anyone, but she has never seen me cry before. Ever. To see me, usually such a strong person like this must make her believe that there is very little hope in anything when it comes to being a Victor. All the money in the world is not worth being this broken.

I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself down and find the courage to speak again. Without opening my eyes, I find myself speaking in a low voice that sounds almost in pain, "I had to do them or Snow would have killed my family and you. I couldn't let him get his hands on you and make you do the same so I did whatever it took to prevent it."

She lets out one quiet sob and softly caresses my face with the hand that is still on my cheek, trying to comfort me. I find the courage to open my eyes and look at her. I see worried grey eyes that are a mirror of mine staring back at me in remorse and guilt. She doesn't ask again why I lied to her about the appointments. I showed her well enough for us, two people that don't need words to understand each other, why I didn't tell her. Which I'm forever grateful for because it was bad enough to give her a glimpse of it, I don't want to hear it as well.

She bites her lip and I can tell she's contemplating something. After a moment, she speaks softly, all the anger gone now, "If I…" she takes a deep breath, "If I played along, would it work?" she dares to ask.

I nod in response, unbelieving as to how quickly this conversation has turned around. I half expected to have to beg her to listen to me and see sense through her anger. "It should." I reply.

"Would it…would it get you out of them too?" she questions hopefully. I honestly think she doesn't want to see me this broken again and will do anything to prevent it. That's my Catnip, always putting others above herself. I hate that it's me she's putting above herself because I'm her partner and she shouldn't have to, but I can't find it in me to protest at the moment. Probably a combination of being uncharacteristically emotional and the fact that it's the middle of the night.

"It already has." I declare quietly. She looks a bit surprised by that, but doesn't comment further. She probably didn't realize that appointments start up again the day the Games end.

She takes another deep breath before she answers me, "Okay, I'll do it."

She might have agreed to play along which may very well save both our asses but I can tell that it's still making her uncomfortable. Well she's been more than reasonable which I didn't expect, so I decide to offer her a compromise to make her more at ease. I understand that the very idea of a relationship is hard for her; especially when you are forcing yourself to have one just to get out of this shit that the Capitol pulls.

"We could just do it for the cameras if you want. We could just be friends when they aren't there." I offer. It's not exactly what I want, but if it makes her feel better about this then I'm willing to do it. I'm hoping that with time she can become comfortable enough to have a real relationship, one on and off cameras, but I know it's going to take a while. I'm willing to wait.

"Really?" she asks a bit relieved, despite the fact that I know she almost regrets how relieved I can tell she is as soon as the word comes out of her mouth.

"Really." I assure her, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it once. She nods in agreement with a small smile and I let out a sigh.

I lower my forehead to hers and we just sit there in silence for a minute with our eyes closed. I drink in the feeling of being near her again, touching her and knowing that's she's real and alive. The fact that I nearly lost her numerous times in the past few weeks bears down on me, and I realize how much I truly missed her. How I feel whole again, like a part of me was gone and it's filled by just simply being with Katniss. How she is the only person I would ever allow myself to be as weak as I just was in front of. How she's the only person I can truly be myself with. Is this what love is? I mean I know I love her, but I didn't realize it until about seven months ago.

Did I always love her and I was just oblivious to my own feelings? She's always been the one person I could be myself with and I always felt better around her, but I just put that down to the bond of friendship that we have that is so deep it's practically impenetrable. But it might have been love the whole time. After all, the District apparently thought we would end up together from the beginning. Could they see the love that we couldn't see in ourselves?

But that brings me to another point-does Katniss love me back deep down? She's too terrified to have a relationship or kids or anything, (understandably) afraid of the reapings and having someone she loves in the Hunger Games. But could she truly feel the same as I do and just doesn't realize it? She knows the bond we have and admits to it, but she doesn't see it as more than a deep friendship. After all she's been through I can understand her being frightened to admit to herself that she can love because that would open the doors to most of her fears. But now that she's being forced to open them at least partially, will she see something more that's real? Or will she despise it forever because it was forced onto her, because she never wanted it?

After sitting there thinking in silence, I realize that my five precious minutes are probably up. I sigh and let go of her hand, opening my eyes and forcing myself to get up from the bed and stand. Katniss opens her eyes and looks at me questioningly.

"I have to go. I'm not even supposed to be here." I regretfully remind her. She sighs but nods. I regret having to leave her when she doesn't even appear to be mad at me anymore and I miss the contact of her skin on mine already, even if it was totally chaste. I feel the warmth slowly seep out of those places where her skin just was and I miss it when it's gone. I really want to stay here, with her, and say fuck you to the world. But I can't-we're in the Capitol playing a dangerous game to get the reward of no appointments and pulling one over on an extremely powerful man and every second I'm still here I'm risking fucking it up.

I slowly walk to the door and open it without making much sound, looking left and right just to make positive that no one is there. Stupid because it's the middle of the night, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I'm about to shut the door when I hear a quiet voice.

"Gale?" I hear her say quietly.

"Hmm?"

"So the roof before the Games-it was all for this? To get out of the um…appointments?" she questions, seeming mostly curious but I can hear her voice wavering. Huh? What does she want to hear? Shit I don't have time to argue so I tell her one part of the truth that I won't have to explain.

"Katniss, I didn't know there were cameras up there." I declare honestly, and with a squeeze of my eyes I shut the door before she can answer and silently make my way back up to the 12th floor of the Training Center without encountering another soul.


	35. Suspicions

The next morning when I wake up, I half believe that I dreamed my meeting with Katniss. Was that real? Did she really agree to go along with the relationship thing? Did I…did I actually show her how broken I am? I get out of bed and look at myself in the mirror. One of my cheeks is a little red, and when I tentatively touch it it's a bit tender. Well, looks like I actually did get slapped at some point, so I guess that answers my question. It definitely wasn't a dream.

Shrugging to myself in the mirror, I go take a quick shower and change before coming out for breakfast. Since it's the day of the recap, I unfortunately have to go to the Remake Center later this morning. I don't know why I have to go so early since I'm not the Victor this year, but I am the mentor; guess they want to 'pretty me up' too.

When I walk into the dining room, the only person there is Jullus. He's reading something but once he sees me he puts down his book and gives me a warm smile, "Good morning. How was your meeting?"

"Better than I expected actually." I tell him frankly. In no way did I see half of what happened last night with Katniss coming. The slap and yelling-yes. The whole breaking down and her complying so fast-hell no.

"Sounds like it went well then." he replies as I sit down with a plate of food.

"It did. I can't believe it was only five minutes. It seemed longer." I state before I take my first large bite of my eggs.

"It was longer." he informs me, and I stop chewing immediately and my eyes go wide with guilt and panic. Shit, I was on camera for part of it? So they're going to know I broke their damn rules and saw her. I really should have been more careful; now not only am I going to be in big trouble but Jullus and his friend will be too.

Jullus sees my panic and he actually chuckles at it. Really? How the fuck can he be laughing when we're in such deep shit because I couldn't keep track of time? "Relax Gale, it's alright." He assures me.

"But how? How long was I in there?" I ask confusedly. Hopefully it was just like a second or something and he's just pulling my strings to make me panic.

"About six and a half minutes. But you weren't on camera at all." he informs me, to which I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "We turned the cameras off for ten minutes and I told you that you only had five just in case."

"Oh." I reply a bit relieved. I should be mad that he lied to me but I'm not. After all, a buffer on something like that was probably a good idea, especially with how dangerous it was for Jullus and his friend to help me on this. And if he hadn't lied to me, I would have definitely used up all if not more of those ten minutes and we really could have been in deep shit.

"Well, I'll let you get back to eating. I should be going anyway." Jullus says as he closes his book and stands up.

"Why?" I question. He's been here before and throughout the Games-I really don't know why he would have to leave now of all times. Wait am I not thrilled to see a Capitolite leave? Sure it's Jullus, but it's still a foreign concept to me.

"I'm not really managing you anymore, am I?" he states, and I give a shake of my head once in response, "Then that means that it looks suspicious that I'm still here. It will be better for both of us if I'm not."

I get it-we're still in the middle of a dangerous game, and we all have to play our parts. I'll admit it would look suspicious if Jullus was still hanging around if it's clear that he has no appointments to give me. For the last few days he could get away with it because he could write it off as he was still waiting for them, but it's been three days-if they haven't come yet, then they (hopefully) never will. Plus since he's been kind of helping me do things against the rules, he would be in even more hot water if they see he's still here. And if that happened, they might start questioning me as well. Plus I doubt most Victors actually like their managers being around, and since he's been lax about the appointments in the past other than when I practically begged him to get me more he could get into a lot of trouble. And I really don't want that for him or me.

"Oh okay then." I answer, but he can tell that I'm almost sorry to see him go.

"It's been a pleasure to manage you." He states formally for the cameras, and I give a small snort at that. Yeah, because I was such a good Victor to work with, what with me groaning every time he was on the phone or something to get me to appointments in the last year. "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me. I'm just a phone call away." He says, and I give him a grateful smile. I really doubt that I will, but it's nice to know that he will still help if I need it sometime in the future.

He walks to the elevator and before he steps into it, I call for him as I get up from the table and briskly walk towards where he is. He turns around, confused.

"I just…thank you." I say sincerely. He gives me one more warm smile as the elevator doors shut. I go back to the table and finish scarfing down my breakfast.

About an hour before the recap, I'm finished with the Remake center and I'm waiting for Portia, who has my outfit for today. Apparently she insisted that she dress me for the recap, even though I don't really have a stylist and normally dress myself for these kinds of things. I'm suspicious that she and Cinna wish to dress me and Katniss in complimenting outfits since we are a couple on that stage. I kind of mind because it annoyed me when she was dressed like Peeta, but not so much as before. For one, I find I don't mind as much when it's me (go figure) and second, it will help the couple image we're trying to pull off so that's good.

Portia comes in after a few minutes and tells me to close my eyes and I comply. She helps me into my clothes since I'm doing it blind, and once everything is on she adjusts a few things until she's satisfied that it's perfect.

"Okay, open!" Portia exclaims, and I do. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I'm surprised to see that I actually sort of like what I'm in. I'm in a black suit with a red vest, and my tie and the lapels of my jacket have flame accents on them that when I move in the slightest they appear to be a blazing fire. Fire-now I'm almost certain that I'm complimenting Katniss's outfit.

"It's great." I tell her, and she gives me a grin filled with pride. I can tell she's proud of her work, and I don't blame her.

"Why thank you. Cinna and I thought it would be appropriate seeing as you're dating the Girl on Fire." she informs me. Well, guess she doesn't know that the relationship thing is fake. Though I have a feeling Cinna does-not that I think he would ever say otherwise because I think he genuinely likes Katniss.

"So am I assuming correct when I think we'll be matching?" I proclaim.

She gives me an almost devious grin, though I know it's playful, "Oh no, you'll get nothing from me. You'll have to wait to see it without any hints like the rest of Panem."

Yep, that confirms it for me. We're matching. "Well you're no help." I pretend to pout, and she giggles a little before giving me a mock stern look.

"Alright Gale, enough playing around. We've got to get you to the theater!" she declares, and I follow her with a roll of my eyes and a grin on my face.

A well-dressed Haymitch who is tugging on his tie that I'm assuming is too tight meets us outside the doors to where I will enter the stage and Portia waves goodbye to us as she goes to find her seat. He follows me inside the waiting room before speaking.

"You ready kid?" he asks me.

"Yep. Do or die." I reply with a shrug.

"You know that they want a short interview with you before sweetheart comes out?" he questions, and I give him a confused look. Why the hell does no one tell me these things? Not that it should really surprise me but still-it would be nice to have more than a five minute heads up just once in my life here in the Capitol.

"I'll take that as a no." Haymitch predicts correctly.

"Well at least it will be short." I exclaim with a sigh.

"They really just want you onstage for when sweetheart comes up." he guesses.

"Probably. All for a better show, right?" I declare. He nods in agreement and goes to his seat I'm assuming, leaving me alone for a minute. So they want me onstage, huh? Not exactly what I was planning but I can work with it. All it means is that our 'first reunion' will have to be a bit flashier than I thought. No big deal on my part, but I hope that Katniss isn't too thrown off by it. It's certainly not going to help seeing as she's actually just playing along with the whole thing and I'm only half playing along since I do love her.

First Katiss's prep team goes out on to the stage, and they are beside themselves, waving ridiculously like this is all about them. Then Cinna walks out, and the crowd cheers loudly for this newcomer stylist who started out with a bang. Next Effie walks out, and she gets a bigger cheer then the prep team but not Cinna. Next is my turn, I take a deep breath and put on a smile for the cameras as I step out. I'm blinded momentarily by the bright lights, and the roar of the crowd is deafening now. I give them a wave as I walk over to the chair where Ceaser is standing waiting for me and the crowd somehow gets even louder. When I get over to him he shakes my hand with a wide smile on his face and gestures for me to sit down. He waits for the audience to quiet before beginning.

"So Gale, wonderful night isn't it?" he starts off.

"The best. It's not every day that you get to see your girlfriend for the first time since winning the Hunger Games." I exclaim, to which the audience cheers to and I get a few awws.

"Right you are." Ceaser agrees, "So is this the first time you're seeing her since she went to the Games?" he asks with a curious look.  
"I wish it wasn't but yes. I even tried to sneak in her room but turned right around when I saw the peacekeepers guarding her door." I lie, and the audience laughs along with Ceaser. I don't think he asked because he actually suspects I went there, but just in case I might as well make it look like I tried to go but didn't if I actually happened to be on a stray camera somewhere.

"Well we won't make you wait any longer." He assures me after the laughter has died down some. "Are you ready?" he turns to audience, and he gets an enormous cheer. He takes that as a yes, and says in his best showman voice, "Then let's have it! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Girl on Fire, the Victor of the Seventy Fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen!"

The crowd erupts in another deafening cheer as a hole in the floor opens up and Katniss rises up on the missing part of the circle. I can't help my ridiculously eager and thrilled grin when I see her come up, and my eyes once again go wide at the brilliance of Cinna's designs. She's in a red dress that falls to her mid-thigh that only has one sleeve. The sleeve is a flowing one to her elbow and it's the same fabric as the flames that appear to be blazing on my outfit, just as I suspected. On the arm that is sleeveless she has some sort of armband in the same flame fabric, and her shoes are as well. Her hair is down and curled in a way that I've never seen on her, but I can't deny that it looks gorgeous on her. She's stunning.

She gives the crowd a smile and glances around the crowd, probably looking for me. I'm almost wondering if this is going to totally throw off her confidence and her courage to pull off the couple thing. But when she looks to her left and sees me, her eyes light up and she starts running towards me with a smile on her face. I open my arms and when we collide I pick her up and spin her in a circle, much to the audiences delight.

When I put her down, I give her a look which says I'm impressed because I really am. She's pulling this off better than I expected her too. Who knew my Catnip was such an actress? First the cheery girl at the Opening Parade, and now this. When she sees my look she gives me a small smug smirk, just enough that I can see it but not the audience. The knowing look in her eyes tells me You think that's good? I'm not even done yet.

I start to question her with my eyes when with a look of pure courage and determination, she snakes her hand into my hair before pulling my head down to hers. I can tell that she is still a little unsure of herself so I close the inch wide gap between us fast enough so the audience can't see her hesitation and press my lips to hers.

I feel the same fire that I did on the roof as the pressure of her lips meets mine, but the inferno grows even hotter as she kisses me back for the first time. I pull her against me with my hands at her waist and let this moment of passion take over. I don't even hear the audience's shouts of joy and crying for us until we break apart breathless. I stare at her with a loving, triumphant grin that I couldn't hide if I tried. She stares right back at me in awe as she catches her breath and she blushes beet red when she sees the pure desire for her in my eyes. She only gets redder when she finally notices where we are, to which I give her a light chuckle. She grins bashfully and rolls her eyes at me before we break apart. But I entwine one of her hands in mine and walk her over to the chair that I just recently vacated. She sits down in it but I don't give her her hand back right away-if we're playing the couple thing I'm going to milk it for all it's worth. Besides, I've never seen her blush that hard before and it's kind of adorable-not that I would ever tell her that because she'd probably hit me for using the word. But it's just too much fun to tease her about this, especially now when she can't very well get back at me for it. So I bring our entwined hands up to my lips and lightly kiss her hand before letting go. As I wanted, she blushes again as the audience goes wild for the couple scene we just played out for them. With a grin on my face I walk off the stage to my seat. It takes a minute for the audience to die down, but when it does Ceaser gets the ball rolling.

"Well that was quite an entrance! I'm sure it was a relief to have Gale back again." He exclaims to her, to which she gives him a bashful smile.

"You have no idea." She says, and the audience awws again.

"Well I can tell that you two really love each other. But we'll talk about that tomorrow at the interview!" he grins, knowing he had the audience on the edge of their seats which is confirmed by their laughing boos and slight disappointment. He gives the audience a look of contemplation before glancing at Katniss and then me in the audience.

"Tell you what? I know you want to see those two together more, so why don't we have Gale up her with her?" he asks as if it's a spontaneous decision but I can tell it's probably not. The audience shouts their approval and I give a shrug and come back up to the stage much to the audiences delight. At first Katniss looks a bit paniced through her happy mask because this wasn't planned on our part and she doesn't know what to do, but then she gets an almost devious look on her face that everyone else would take as a winning expression as she stands up from her seat and gestures for me to sit down in it. I obey her but I'm curious as to what that look was for. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

She sits down in my lap and puts her arms around my neck much to the audience's glee. But then I feel a small sharp pain where her hands are and she gives me a look of challenge as I wince slightly. Well guess she got her retribution for that hand thing after all. Not that pinching me is all she wanted to do but it works for now. And that look of challenge also tells me that she knows her move of sitting in my lap is better than the hand move. Oh so she wants to one up me, huh? Well two can play at that game.

I kiss her cheek softly and I turn to Ceaser with a grin, "I have to agree with the audience-I like this much better than sitting by myself over there."

He laughs and so does the audience. I glance at Katniss again and she's frustrated that I'm winning again, but she can't do anything because the lights have dimmed some and the recap is starting.


	36. I Don't Know

The recap begins with a view of the reapings, and the first thing I notice is that they spend a little extra time on District 2 with Cato lunging forward to volunteer. They also show the girls of our district in full, with Prim being called, Katniss volunteering and me pulling Prim off of her. Well I think I know how this recap is going-they're going to focus on Cato's revenge and Katniss overcoming it.

And then I hear the last thing I ever thought I'd hear in this recap during the reapings. Ceaser's voice comes on as Katniss climbs the stairs to take her place on the stage at the reaping.

"Now Gale, do you believe that Katniss can win?" Ceaser's voice asks. What the fuck? I'm truly confused about this, so I look over to where Ceaser is sitting next to us in his chair and he's smiling at the screens, not me. What? But then I hear myself answer.

"Absolutely. She's smart, talented, and has wicked aim with a bow. And I'm not just saying that because I love her. She also never breaks a promise, and not only did she promise me that she would come home, but her sister as well." My voice answers, and suddenly I know where this is from. They're taking lines from my interview with Ceaser after the video was shown? That's never happened before in a recap, but I guess this is a different sort of situation.

Upon hearing my voice, Katniss turns her head to me with an expression of confusion. Evidently Haymitch didn't tell her the little detail of me doing an interview. Guess that's my job now. I put my face close to her ear and whisper, "I had to do an interview after the video was shown."

I pull away and I can tell that clarified a lot of her confusion, but she still looks a little uncomfortable-probably because I was singing her praises. Or because I said that I loved her. Or because she's well aware that it's not normal for something like my interview to be in a recap. I guess she sees where the theme of this recap is going like I do and we both turn back to the screen.

The recap goes like normal for the first half hour or so after that, with the Opening Parade, some bits of training, and the scores of some of the major competitors like the Careers, District 11 and District 12. Then we go to the interviews, and they show Katniss's almost in full. When she gets to the part where Ceaser asked her if she and I were more than best friends and she says no, I hear my voice once again.

"Katniss and I have been best friends for years, long before we began dating." My voice informs, and I can feel Katniss getting a little tense. It's actually starting to annoy me too that they are using all these lines from my interview in this recap. They shouldn't be there in the first place. Although it's actually helping us probably so I shouldn't complain too much-I just wish we had a heads up.

After the interviews, it only gets worse-they show the damn video from the roof. Katniss gets very tense as she watches it for the first time, her eyes going a little wide. Even though she knew this video existed and was shown across Panem, it doesn't make her any less embarrassed to see it for herself. In fact, I'm a little embarrassed as well but mostly I'm pissed. This has nothing to do with her Games-in fact they shouldn't have even been allowed to put this in there. I mean yes, it goes with the theme that they are taking in this recap, but this has to be crossing some sort of line.

The audience awws and squeals as they once again see their favorite new video, and Katniss turns to me with a demanding expression, the questioning evident in her eyes, Did you know this stuff would be in here? they ask me.

In response I give a slight shake of my head, my eyes showing my annoyance and anger to her. No, but when I find out the bastard who did this…

She gives a small nod and her demanding expression turns to one that matches mine Right-I'll help you get them back.

I nod in response and we both turn back to the screens, piling up our ammunition for the bastards who agreed to use all this extra stuff that we will probably never find. The bloodbath takes a while to get through, as they go through all the deaths there. Then they show the Careers confusion as to why the cannons going off that disappears when Peeta walks out of the Cornucopia, knife in hand. Katniss, seeing for the first time as to how the hell Peeta got in with the Careers, watches with interest. She recoils slightly when Peeta kills the District 4 boy, amazed that he did it so quickly and seemingly without a second thought. When they show Cato claiming that he wants to kill her for revenge, she turns to me once again, asking with her eyes, He knew on day one about the video? I shake my head a little in response and with my own expression tell her No, you'll see.

I can tell that she wants more from me, but she's drawn back to the screens by the piercing scream of the District 8 girl as the Careers wake her up to kill her. She does pretty well with the deaths and events up until they show Peeta's death. She looks visibly uncomfortable and I can tell she's filled with dread and guilt upon seeing it with her own eyes. I too am swept with guilt once again, especially with his last words, He needs you. Katniss doesn't turn to question me this time like I suspected she would, but I can tell that she's trying to understand what it means. Does she get that this was the turning point? That this is when the whole mystery thing started until we showed the video? I don't know, but I'm guessing I'll find out later.

They show her with Rue and the conversation they had about Peeta soon enough and they take another line courtesy of me to go along with her hiding our 'relationship.' I can tell it unnerves her how easily it seems like she's playing along with that even if the couple thing isn't real and she didn't know anything about it, but she doesn't comment.

They show Rue's death in full, and Katniss gets to sing her entire lullaby. Like the Mentor Room when it actually happened, the room is silent and I can tell it's still giving Katniss a hard time. I pull her a little tighter to me and she buries her face in my shoulder for a few seconds, letting herself squeeze her tears onto my shoulder instead of showing the cameras before turning back to the screens. She notices that they don't show the flowers like she probably suspected, and I can tell it sort of annoys her. I whisper in her ear, "All the mentors saw the flowers. They'll tell others." She turns to me with a hopeful look, and I give her a quick reassuring smile.

The rest of the recap goes on without much insight from my interview, and they show the last day's action in full. I see how Thresh died by Cato's hands, Cato unhanding his scythe out when Thresh almost fell and plunging his sword into his chest before he could react. Cato with a look of pure anger as he sees Clove taking what was supposed to be his revenge and pulling her up just to decapitate her. Cato's entire story of why he was getting revenge on me. Trying to kiss Katniss, to which when she sees it again she gets very uncomfortable. Katniss slipping her knife out of her belt just to dig it into Cato's stomach, allowing her to get away. And finally, Katniss's arrow going into Cato's chest that ended the Games with her victory.

The crowd cheers loudly as the lights come on again in full, and I see Seneca Crane, the Head Gamemaker come out with a smile on his face and a pillow with a gold circlet walking towards us. When he's in front of the chair that we are sitting in, Katniss gets out of my lap and stands up for him to place the crown on her head. She gives the cameras a big smile and waves to the crowd, and Ceaser gestures for me to get up as well. I take Katniss's other hand that's not waving and we exit the stage together, letting go as soon as we're off camera. Katniss lets out a sigh of relief as we walk towards the elevator. I'm not sure how happy I am that she's relieved. Was it really all an act? Did she really not feel something in that kiss? Well, I guess I sort of did this to myself-after all, I did tell her that it could only be for the cameras. Stupid me.

We go up to dinner and we don't get a chance to talk because we are met by a crew of people congratulating her and hugging both of us. And after dinner we all go straight to bed because it's getting late. I really need to talk to her, but I guess I can't right now. I wonder if the nightmares are keeping her up already-if they are, I don't want to take any of that precious sleep without dreaming away from her because it doesn't come nearly as often as it should.

The next day is Katniss's interview, which means I technically don't have to do anything but show up behind the cameras when Ceaser is talking to her. I get up early with the intent of talking to her before she goes to the Remake center, but am disappointed to find that she's already left our floor for there. I let out a frustrated sigh and eat breakfast and then I wander around the Training Center before I have to go to the interview area. Somewhere along the way I run into Finnick, to whom I give a smile as greeting.

"Hey Gale, how's it going?" he asks with his own warm smile.

"I don't know. Are you supposed to be going home with a Victor?" I tease, playing naive.

"Well I think so, but I'm not sure. Especially if it's your girlfriend." He replies with a playful smirk.

"Yeah I guess you are." I respond.

"How's it going with her?" he asks seriously, all teasing gone.

"Better than I expected, but I really don't know how it's going to affect us." I tell him honestly.

"Well that kiss looked pretty real to me last night-maybe you're in for a nice surprise." He says hopefully.

I sigh, "I just-I just really don't know. I can hope for that but I'm not getting my hopes up."

"So you mean…you don't think it worked?" he asks vaguely, but I know what he's really asking. He wants to know if I think that Snow is still going to have that talk with her about appointments. Thus far it hasn't but there's still time before we leave on the train after her interview. After all, if she gets called in right after it there's nothing I can do about it.

"Actually I think it might have. But maybe he's waiting until after the interview to make sure?" I tell him my fear.

"I hope not." He replies, and looks at the time, "Well I have to get to my train, but I'll see you in a few months at the Victory Tour!" he exclaims as he walks off.

"See you then." I grin, and walk down to the interview area. When I get there Katniss hasn't arrived yet so I just kind of walk around the room idly for a while. When Ceaser comes in adjusting his suit he sees me and smiles, but he can't do more because that's when Katniss comes in. She's in a mostly black dress but it almost looks like it's cracked fabric, because it looks like a reddish orange fire is glowing in the cracks pushing to get through. When she sees me she gives me a smile, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that something is bothering her. Shit, did Snow get to her before? She sees my panic and knows immediately what it is so she shakes her head with a reassuring smile that's telling me No not that. I'll tell you later. I instantly calm and she goes to sit in her chair for the interview opposite Ceaser's.

The final interview is only an hour long, but it seems longer than that. At least for me it did, and I'm a slightly better talker than Katniss in front of a camera so to her it must feel twice as long. But at least this time when Ceaser asks her hard questions that she doesn't want to answer it's easy for her to find me, unlike the interviews before the Games. Plus this is the last thing she has to do here in the Capitol before we go home, so that's a nice reward at the end if she can just get through it.

Ceaser first congratulates her on her win, and then he delves into the questions for her. He asks about Prim, whom she honestly can't wait to get home to. He also asks about Rue, her only ally in the Games as well as about Cato. And bringing up Cato means discussing his failed revenge, which of course brings up the topic he wanted to discuss most-me.

She does a pretty good job with it but for half of them I can tell that she can't look at me to answer them, whether it be embarrassment or what I don't know. He asks her a really hard question about Peeta at this point as well, one I was sort of suspecting because I'm actually curious too as to what the fuck she'll say.

"So Katniss, we all know that you were supposed to be one of the star-crossed lovers back when you were hiding your relationship. Can you tell us what happened there?" Ceaser questions, leaning in with his chin resting on his fist in curiosity.

"Yes, Peeta…well let's just say that I didn't see that coming from Peeta at the interview. I had no idea that he had feelings for me, and I wasn't interested so it made it hard. So after the interview we let him in on the secret and he claimed he wouldn't say anything. Only-" Katniss answers slowly, controlled. She must have realized that this was coming and thought of something to say.

"Only he sort of let the ball drop." Ceaser finishes for her.

"Exactly. But I didn't know that so I still hid it in the arena." Katniss claims.

"So is that why you still denied it on the last day with Cato? Even when he knew everything because of the note he was sent?" Ceaser asks.

She nods in response, "Yes. Well honestly, I thought he was making it up that he knew. It wasn't until he mentioned the roof that I realized that he actually did know."

"I see. Well our time is up, but I wish you a happy victory and good luck with your relationship."

She thanks him and Ceaser signs off. Once the cameras are off, Katniss gives me a relieved smile and comes over to me. She raises one eyebrow to ask Well? How did I do?

I give her a reassuring smile, "You did great Catnip."

"Good. Now what?" she asks.

"Make it to that damn train as fast as we can." I say, and then lower my voice, "Let's not give him a chance for a meeting."

She looks a bit concerned by that, but determinedly she follows me to the door where the car will pick us up. As soon as the glass from the outside is visible I take her hand in mine for appearances sake (on her end, I don't mind one bit) and we smile and wave for the cameras on the way to the car. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when the car door shuts, and give her a hopeful grin. Only about four more yards to walk onto the train and we should be in the clear.

We do make it to the train, and as soon as the doors close Katniss and I look at each other triumphantly and with relief she hugs me. Effie turns around and smiles when she sees us.

"Alright you too that's enough for now-let's go to lunch!" she exclaims, much to Katniss's embarrassment. We weren't doing anything that we didn't do before the Games, but since Effie thinks the relationship is real she thinks we're being conservative right now. I roll my eyes and we follow her to lunch.

After Katniss is done eating she excuses herself to go change. Before she goes, she gives me a look that says Come in a few minutes. I give her a slight nod to tell her I will and she leaves the room. While I'm waiting I get another drink, and after about five minutes I excuse myself as well, going immediately to Katniss's room.

I knock on the door, but after she doesn't answer for about a minute I let myself in. The door to the 'balcony' outside her room is open and I find her there, leaning her elbows on the ledge. I follow suit, and she begins speaking without acknowledging me.

"I saw your interview." she states.

"And?" I reply. She heard half of it at the recap; I don't know why it's so damn important for her to tell me that she saw the whole thing.

"When you said that you…loved me. You weren't lying." she almost whispers, finally looking at me. When my eyes meet hers, I see something like confusion, bewilderment, and curiosity all at the same time.

I sigh before answering honestly, "No I wasn't lying. I wish you hadn't found out like that."

She looks almost surprised at my easy confirmation, though she shouldn't be. She hesitates before answering with a hint of uncomfortably, "I…don't think I understand."

"I know you don't." I reply. And I get it-she never expected my feelings to be real. She thought that I was just playing along too, a desperate attempt on my part to get her out of the appointments. Maybe she thought that I might like her seeing as I told her I kissed her without knowing about the cameras before the Games. Or maybe she even thought that it was a spontaneous thing and I just couldn't stand the thought of losing her, which is true too. But she would have never in a million years have guessed that I truly love her.

She's silent for a moment, and then questions me, "So…what now?"

I think about that for a moment-I don't want to scare her off, but all the cards are on the table now. "Guess we'll find out." I reply and we both go back to staring at the world flashing by for a long time in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sequel, Born of Fire, is now up. Enjoy!


End file.
